Saturday, May 30, 2009

No bride here

Just breathe. Just breathe. Crap. It's here.

I knew this would day would come. I knew it would hurt like fuck too. Right now I'm on the beach, far far away. I have a ton of books (plus re-reading all my Sookie ones) sunbathing, and probably (totally) judging people behind my sunglasses. I'm doing things that make me happy. So I'm trying to not go to the dark place. And I'm saying to myself, look at it this way, I haven't gotten married any other day of my life, so this isn't anything notable right? Right.

But I still get to be sad today. I'm sad that I don't get to wear my beautiful wedding gown today. I'm sad I don't get a champagne toast. I'm sad I don't get to say "I do" in front of our families and friends. I'm sad that I'm sad on what I thought would be the happiest day of my life (so far).

But I'm relieved I didn't make the biggest mistake of my life. May 30 2009 will most likely always strike a (dis)cord with me, but it will pass. And life goes on.

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