SURPRISE!

For my parents' 10 year anniversary, my dad gave my mom a pearl necklace and showed it to my sister and I beforehand and told us "don't tell mommy."

My sister just flat out snitched, "it's a necklace." 
But I did not tell. I just dropped very subtle hints. Like, "you're gonna like it!" "It's really pretty!" And the most cryptic clue of them all "you wear it here," and patted my collarbone. 

Somehow my mom figured something was up. *shrugs* 

In my defense, this was 1987 and I was five (a young one at that). And, my mom didn't know it was a pearl necklace, so she was still surprised. And then 25 years later she let me borrow that necklace for my wedding, so it all worked out.  

Now lets fast forward to 2022, and my 10 year anniversary with dr soc was coming up. As you can see from yesterday's post he got me some bling bling* and I loves it. Beforehand he enlisted girl 1's help and she took her duty incredibly serious and as enthusiastically as she could. Girl 1 is 6. 

*yes I know I'm dating myself with that vernacular term

And so, the 2022 scene played like this:   

dr soc: yeah, my (wedding) ring is a bit tight and I may get it resized, but I don't remember what size I am

6: mommy, I need a tracing of your hand. 

me: yeah I had to get remeasured when I got my (wedding) ring resized last year. 

dr soc: ah-

6: mommy, what I really need a tracing of the finger you wear your rings 

dr soc: -

me: oh okay after dinner-

6: no lets do it now, here let me get a piece of paper and a pen for you. 

--7 seconds later ---

6: here, put your hand here (points to the paper she had slapped in front of me), and trace like this (starts tracing my hand) no spread your fingers out .

dr soc: rubs the bridge of his nose

6: okay that looks good I'm just going to cut this out. 

me: that's great honey -

6: now I can always have a high five from you! 

dr soc: sigh

me: That makes perfect sense kiddo.

--- 3 minutes later ---

6: daddy! -whispers- I got it! (slips him the cutout of my hand in front of me and giggles hard core* proud of the mission accomplished)

*also dating myself with this term and I don't care  

Somehow I figured something was up. *shrugs* But hey, at least she didn't flat out snitch!   

 

 

10 years

Ten years ago I trapped my favorite person in a legal state sanctioned union! And he gave me some new bling with all our family's birthstones and our wedding anniversary too. 

stone order: July, February, May, July, November

Because I am an awesome wife, I gave him his own set of mixing bowls for our anniversary. I figure after ten years married he's respected my mixing bowl rule long enough, it was time to give him his own so he can eat his giant salads and stay healthy and not die on me. Because I will kill him if he leaves me a widow. 

Love you Dr Soc!

Pick your battles

Dr soc has been on this eating healthy salad kick so ultimately I don't have to kill him for dying on me. Seeing as we've been together* for 11 years as of today I need him to stick around as my partner in crime, parenting hijinks coconspirator but mostly someone I can occasionally talk shit about when I'm deflecting from my own shortcomings. 

*as well as put a ring on it and let him get me pregnant twice 

Anyway, back to the salads, he eats a lot and prefers a larger bowl for his rabbit food. The largest bowls that we have are the mixing bowls, but I have a hard line that you do not eat from the mixing bowls. See I almost killed someone for always eating out of the mixing bowls and I could never use them for cooking when I needed* them. To save my future relationships and myself from heartbreak, I drew that line and decreed it a rule. Dr soc is awesome and obeys and I tweeted how glad I am for that because divorce is a lot of paperwork.  

*that same someone never did the dishes either 

I'm explaining the origins of that rule and a coworker who's been married for longer than I've been alive, and they decide to impart the following wisdom about marriage: pick your battles.

My response: I have! This is one. DO. NOT. EAT. FROM. THE. MIXING. BOWLS! 

Love you honey! Thanks for not making die on that* hill!

*I'm sure there will be others. I just don't have to die on that particular one.

The One

For the record: I do not believe in "the one." Neither does my husband. And as of today he has been my husband for 6 years, and we're still counting. But anyway, I still had a pretty good feeling about dr soc pretty early into our relationship. We just...worked.

But there are two distinct instances when I was pretty much: this is my husband.

The first one was when were texting a lot (and we still do - only now it's more "we're out of milk" and "has the toddler pooped yet?" and fewer flirty "forget your pants" but those still exist) and I realized he really didn't use text talk, one of my biggest pet peeves. (omg I h8 the u 4 u with the 🔥 of 1000 ☼s) My heart skipped a beat I thought: oooo I'm keeping him.

And the second is when he said he had absolutely no desire to go camping.
I was done. I knew: I'm going to marry him!

Happy Anniversary my dearest!

Thanksgiving Play, Act 2, Scene 3

Since we've been in North Carolina, dr soc and I have hosted Thanksgiving. Neither one of us really has the time from work and now with Little Turkey's birthday, hosting has been what works best for us. We know what works as far as the food, guests sleeping arrangements and things to do, so the weekend runs well, is a lot of fun and we look forward to it.  
But in the issue of full disclosure: it did not start that way. It started like this:

--SCENE SET UP--   

I cook. Dr soc cleans kitchen behind me, including stuff still being used. I use another spoon/dish/pan since I can't find anything. Dr soc washes new dirtied item. We continue to get in each other's way throughout the day. Tempers shorten at 1:1 ratio of missing:dirty items.

--BEGIN SCENE--

me: (pour olive oil in pan. decide to forgo whatever meal that was. look for clear space and place pan on top of drying rack to left of the sink)
dr soc: (sees pan with liquid. grab dish towel. start wiping oil)
me: (blurt across kitchen) Oh no honey! That's not water, that's olive oil!
dr soc: (exasperated) Then why was it on the clean side?
me: (completely frazzled. look at dr soc)
dr soc: (eyes widen. throw up hands) Sorry! I'm sorry! (backs out of kitchen-fearful) 

--the next hour--

dr soc: (slink* into the kitchen to clean)
me: (see slinking. screech) I'm not done! (flail hands) Still using that! (strangled incoherent gargle) 
dr soc: (leave kitchen)

(repeat 2-3 more times at random intervals throughout flurry of holiday activity)
--END SCENE--

At the time it was just ridiculous but now it's one of my favorite memories and I crack up whenever I tell it (seriously I'm giggling hard core right now). But needless to say, we've gotten a lot better.

*this is very hard to do with an open plan like we have

Age is Only a Number

A few months after I got married, my sister mentioned I had just done so, and the person she was talking to asked how old I was. I had turned 30 in July and that person said "Ha! I bet she got married in May so she would still be 29."
My sister, bless her heart, said no, she didn't think my age was a factor on my wedding date.
But when she relayed this conversation to me my response was:

me:  No she's right. That was totally a reason I we picked May.
Amy: really?
me: Yup. I mean if it (getting married) didn't happen before 30 I wasn't going to stress it, but since it could happen while still in my 20's...well why not? And I got to be dr soc's wife sooner and all that other romantic stuff. 
Amy: well. okay then.

Yeah. I own it though. I totally own it.
 

Flashback Friday

Look what we did 5 years ago!

MARRIED!!!!!

Want more pictures and all the feels? Click on the link above ⬆ and prepare to be amazed (I certainly was, but I admit I may have something of a bias).

Anyway, five years on one hand feels like a long time. And on the other hand five years doesn't seem long at all. Look at all we've done! Either way, Happy anniversary my love!

It's What I Do

For the longest time dr soc wanted a bench for shoe storage in our foyer-ish area for the 4 times a year people use the front door, and for the longest time I resisted. But with 16 people coming for Thanksgiving I finally acquiesced to it, but since I can be very particular when it comes to furniture, it was on me to find one we both liked.
So I found one on Amazon I liked and two days later (love Prime) it was on our doorstep. Dr soc assembled it, we put it in place and...it didn't look right.
Dr soc was indifferent on it but I liked it just enough to think about keeping it. So dr soc found another spot for it in the house because he loves me. But that spot made me indifferent on the bench. And then this conversation happened:

me: I'm fine with where that bench is. But you know that it's just going to become another spot I put stuff* on and clutter.
dr soc: But you don't have to put stuff there...
me: Yeah but I will. It's what I do.
dr soc: Yeah but you don't ...
me: It's what I do.
dr soc::sigh of resignation:: Can we send the bench back?
me: Yes. (once again, love Prime)
dr soc: Ok. Do it.

* he loves me decidedly less when the sprawl gets extra sprawly.

Dinner Plans

Dr Soc and I worked out our childcare plans so that baby girl goes to daycare two times a week. The other days of the work week he teaches early in the morning and comes home, then I leave for work and those nights I close the library.

That also means those nights dinner is on him. I've been trying to get into the habit of menu planning and can manage a variety of 30ish minute meals, but on nights I close I don't get home until 8:30. One of the last things I want to do is cook, eat around 9 and then put the baby to bed (she nurses to sleep. I know, I have to wean that eventually).

But cooking with baby and quick meals are isn't his strongest wheelhouse. So most Tuesday nights I get the dinner text. Some variation of "dinner ideas?" and I tell him what I'm craving or not, what he can make from the freezer or where to order from.
This was our exchange from the other night:

But I still wanted it, even after recalling that memory. The only reason we didn't have meatloaf that night was because the grocery store didn't have any. And I was bummed too!

Fail safe

Someone found this lawn shark sculpture online and immediately though of my husband.  Because of course. So it was posted on his facebook wall and when I saw it my visceral response was: that is awesome and I want it! And when I see the $180 price tag I thought: totally doable.

The more and more I looked at it, the more and more I laughed and wanted it. And then it dawned on me this would be the coolest anniversary gift (traditional year four gift is fruit and/or flowers, so I say a lawn sculpture legit falls into the "plants" category) I almost whipped out the credit card right then then and there.

But somewhere in all that excitement I didn't do exactly that, so there had to be a reason. I just couldn't find one on my own. So I showed the garden shark it to my coworkers and asked them to find me a reason.
Josh: it's impractical
me: but it amuses me highly, so I don't care. Next reason.
Josh: hmm, well, it is $180 for something very impractical.
me: still don't care. Keep trying.
Josh: do you even have the space for it?  
me: yup.
Josh: your HOA?
me: screw 'em!
Josh: well ok, I've got nothing.
me: ok, thanks for trying. ~~I turn to another coworker~~ Lauren. I want to get this for my husband and I cannot find a reason not to. Josh tried but couldn't come up with one.

Lauren looks at the image for a minute, and says:

Lauren: those teeth look really sharp. Not toddler friendly.
me: yes! Perfect reason! Not safe for the baby! Thank you!
--pause--
me: Oh. I just completely failed at being a parent didn't I?

Shapes

Currently I'm growing a human. So my figure is changing.
Dr Soc is training for a half-marathon in October. So his figure is changing too.

Dr soc~excitedly~: My (hip bone) lines are coming back!
me~less than thrilled~: Yeah, mine aren't.

Binge Watch

So. We might have to pull back a little on the binge watching. Because my dream last night was a pretty solid compilation of some of the shows we've been watching. Ever since I've been on happy pills, I dream every night. I don't remember them most of the time, but on occasion a few stick around in my memory. Enough so that I will wake up upset and/or utterly confused about how I am in my bedroom and life is normal(ish).

Anyway, last night was a Breaking Bad/Big Love/The American's combo. Yeah, I don't know either. The Breaking Bad part was Walter White watched his meth lab in the basement fill with really pretty blue water (seriously, resort brochure blue), and the water was breaking the ceiling joist of the lab. The ceiling burst off and the whole lab gushed down the street and Walter White (who may have been me, I'm not sure) went with the water and tried to make it look like he had been swept away. Then when Skylar and his son went running down the street after the tidal wave, he was slinking around the neighbors' car/garage trying to stay out of their sight. And then there may or may not have been a crime spree of sorts in there, I don't recall.

Now onto part two, the Big Love/The Americans combo. For some reason, Mike was going to take on a second wife. (Big Love) I was none too pleased about sharing my husband to say the least. I was jealous and I was trying to trick encouraging him to have a guy's weekend in Toronto on my "off" weekend. You know, have a good time, no ladies at all, play in the casinos, that sort of thing. My plot was to not let poor pathetic Martha (from the Americans) have "her" weekend. Or any time really. Mike seemed to really be looking forward to his weekend, and poor pathetic second wife Martha was really none the wiser either.

Yeah. When I woke up I kept reiterating/muttering "you can't marry Martha." Mike was confused of course, but he reassured me he wasn't going to and that he was only married to me. Then later when I could give him more details he was amused but I think a little ticked off he got stuck with poor pathetic Martha.
 

This Little Piggie

Valentine's Day 2015 was brought to us by urgent care. The couch attacked a husband who shall remain nameless and said husband needed an X-ray.
Yup.
I was at work on my lunch break when dr soc (oops, just gave it away!) called me and said he though he had broken his toe on the couch. We got a new couch before Christmas so we're still getting used to the new layout. His littlest piggie was at a 90 degree angle from his foot and it was also swollen to about the size of his biggest piggie.    
So we had a romantic valentines day at an urgent care, doing romantic things like taking sexy x-rays of his feet.
And then for the rest of the night we made toe puns. Like toe-pocalypse. Catas-toe-phe. It wasn't the Christmas season so we didn't have any miss-the-toe!    

Normal Thing to Do

Today I beat Mike home for work so I pulled the trash can around and got the mail, two things I normally don't do. Dr soc is pretty much always home before me and takes care of those things so I never really even think to even do them.

Anyway, when dr soc got home this afternoon  he thanked me for pulling the trash around. I said "you're welcome," and since it was such a rare occurance I then happily said:

me: Oh! I got the mail too!
dr: soc: Wow! What did we get?
me: A pizza coupon and um...
dr soc: That's ok. Where is it?
me: It's... It's... uhhh.. This is why I don't get the mail.

Roof Types

So. My poor husband husband has shingles. Not the things you use on the roof variety. Nope. The health kind that can give you chicken pox variety.
He doesn't hurt which is really lucky. Shingles attaches/runs along a nerve which is why it's so painful in the first place. We also caught it pretty quick and the antibiotics the dr gave him are already working. He doesn't have to be quarantined from me since I've had chicken pox, and it's also safe for him to be around our families this holiday.
I'm sure he's enjoying me telling his health status to the internets, but I just feel so bad for him, even though he's not in pain. I'm probably just going to spoil him for a while, at least until it clears up. I don't think he'll hind that though.    

Eat Me

So, something I legit need for my kitchen:
"DO NOT EAT" labels/signs.
Otherwise, my husband's hunger overtakes him and main/key ingredients fall victim to his voracious snacking.

No, seriously. Twice this week dinner plans were thwarted/nearly thwarted due to dr soc's snacking. I've been trying to get in the habit of menu planning, so I write down the 6 days of dinner ideas and shop accordingly. I like to try new recipes but usually only try one a week because I'm not insane.

Anyway, Monday was going to be chili pie. Chili, noodles, cornbread topping, bake. All things I had in the house. But when dr soc got home from his office hours he ate the leftover chili from Sunday's lunch for a snack. All of it. So no chili pie until I make another vat of chili. No biggie really, but it was fun to tease him.
And then tonight I asked if he could start prepping dinner since it was taking me such a long time to get home. I told him the cookbook to find the recipe and by the time I got home he had most of the marinade made. However, he told me when I got home that we almost didn't have enough cashews because he had once again snacked on a key ingredient when he got home from work!

I pretty much brayed like a jackass. But it's also a good thing I got home when I did because I got there before he added the garlic. Yeah, turns out dr soc didn't exactly know what a clove of garlic was. So even if we hadn't had enough cashews, the 4 heads of garlic would have certainly covered that void!

Let There Be Light

One night I woke up and had to go to the bathroom. As a fairly heavy sleeper, I knew that even in a sleep fog if I was waking up in the middle of the night I must really have to go and better get to it. So I did and returned to bed like you do. But as I was climbing back into bed dr soc stirred and was slightly confused to find me getting back into bed since me getting up in the middle of the night is a rarity in the first place.

--Note: this entire conversation occurred with us both in half-sleep-mode and was done with sleepy slurs and hazy logic in it's entirety--


dr soc: did you just go to the bathroom?
me: Yeah. Go back to sleep honey.
dr soc: Ok. Wait..did you turn on the light?
me: No. Turning on the light can wake you up more and I want to go back to sleep.
dr soc: Oh ok. ~pause~ You can go to the bathroom without a light? How?
me: I don't have to aim honey.
dr soc: Oh. Right. Goodnight.
 --A while later.--
We had gotten back from the gym or were getting ready in the morning or something that required a shower. I flipped on the shower light, turned on the water and Mike put our towels on the hook while we waited for the water to warm up to the (my) preferred scalding temperature.
mike: I turned off the shower light.
me: Why? I like the shower light.
mike: You do? What exactly do you do in the shower that you need light for? Do you need it to aim or something?
me: No...But I do need it if I'm shaving.  Or something.
mike: Ok, but are you going to shave this shower? 
me: I don't think so, but I still like the light.
--Mike gives me a look--
me: So I can pee the dark but not shower in it. Okay maybe that's a little weird but so what?
mike: Nothing.... Would you like me to turn the light back on then?
me: Yes. Yes I would.
mike: Ok. ~flips the light back on, smiling~ You weirdo.
me: Thank you. And yes, yes I am.
 --We went on vacation last week and we were checking out the bathroom of the rental house--
mike: Oh, and you will be happy to know there is a shower light in our bathroom. A very bright one too.
me: Yes!

Synonyms

On our anniversary Mike and I went to the Cheesecake Factory for dessert and sat at an outside table since it was a nice night. The patio was quieter than the restaurant so we could have a conversation with each other without shouting, and we could also hear the pop music playing through their sound system. Which is what a decent chunk of our conversation was about, the music. We would hear a song, reminisce about the last time we heard it or what it reminds us of, wonder whatever happened to the artist, yadda yadda yadda.

Anyway, a song by Seal comes on and Mike posed this question:
mike: What's Seal's real name anyway? Otter??
me: hahahahaha!

Memory Lane Monday

So there's this thing called Throwback Thursday/#tbt where you post old pictures of yourself on some social media site. I only recently started playing along (seriously, maybe a month ago) and posted a few old photos here and there on the facebooks on a Thursday in proper throwback form. 

So far I don't think I have anything exciting to throwback this Thursday (a class picture while I'm in class maybe? meh), and it's Monday so I've declared it Memory Lane Monday because I have something way better than any little kid picture to throw back to from 2 years ago:

 my favorite wedding picture

We said I do!
Happy year 2 honey!

Football Words

My husband is a die-hard Cleveland Browns fan. So watching football with him (and the rest of the men in the family) is amusing because it's peppered with colorful phrases and curse words. It just comes with the territory. I don't really bat an eye because I don't have the most pristine vocabulary either, so really it's only a matter of time before our future children hear something we would rather have them not repeat. But rather than us be adults and try to change our behavior and make an attempt to curb the ingrained language of football season, we'll probably just tell them those are "football words" that we only say during football games.*

Anyway, twenty minutes before the second day of the 2014 NFL draft, the story of Josh Gordon's failed drug test/suspension breaks and dr soc was pissed. Actually, pissed is really an understatement, because the regular "football words" were replaced with some really bad ones even for him. And because I am an awesome wife, after I picked up my mouth from dropping in surprise, I just pointed and laughed. 

*This is a flawless plan brought to you from my childless parenting skills.