I’m not here to…

Discuss xyz. But what I'm really going to do is express my opinion on xyz, and don’t want to hear anyone else’s abc opinion/facts. 

But if you do agree with xyz, you can comment in support. That's another unspoken rule of that 'disclaimer.' Another unspoken part: I put the disclaimer up because xyz is along the lines of the quiet parts said aloud. 

Funny thing is, the quiet parts were quiet usually due to shame or unpopular beliefs. Like separate but not equal is acceptable. Vaccinations are not  ‘big pharma’ money makers. Civil rights are only for cis-male-white everyone. Society may have changed and you may want to hold on to those outdated beliefs, but you kept that shit to yourself.  

So the I'm not here to discuss xyz really just means I'm going to say what I say and don't want to hear anything different. And in a way I get it, I also do not want to waste my energy defending my woke* ideals to closeminded fools.

*Whatever Offends Klanspeople* Easiest

*People because I'm being inclusive.  

THOUGHTS

So. We have Disney + now. Which means we are watching a lot of the stuff from the vault. As an adult I have THOUGHTS and then tweet them:

While watching Little Mermaid:
-Thought 1: give up your voice and change everything about yourself for a boy.
.
Not a message I want to encourage at all
            |
-Thought 2: Ursula has the best villain song. This is fact
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-Thought 3: Arial is a complete simpleton on land with Eric and he finds that endearing?
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-Thought 4: hold on, Flounder got the life size stone stone statue to her treasure grotto, but he’s struggling now to get Arial, an experienced swimmer btw, to the wedding boat
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-Thought 5: she signed a contract Triton, if you really want her to learn her lesson this might be the way
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-Thought 6: how did Eric see them, let alone find them under the sea? Is the water that clear? Must have been before we polluted the world
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-Thought 7: wait isn’t she 16? And getting MARRIED? And her dad is okay with this?? WTF. King Triton is a dolt.
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-And finally- Thought 8: 4yo: why did she (Ursula) get power now? What made her so mean mommy? .
Me: the patriarchy

While we were watching Lady in the Tramp:
Watching the 1955 version of Lady and the Tramp.
.
SO. RACIST.
|
Though I will say all of (dog) Lady‘s troubles started due to an old white (human) lady’s fragility
            |
Lady was running around following a boy and she’s the one caught and tossed in the pound.
.
I turned that into a life lesson for my girl

And most recently while watching Frozen: 
Watching Frozen 4yo: why did Hans put Elsa in jail?? Me: because he is afraid of a powerful woman.
4yo: why is he afraid? Me: the patriarchy

Waiting on my Book Deal

All library workers are writing the Next Great American novel as we sit around and read all day. True fact. Now, I have no disillusions my book will be the Next Great American Novel, but I do have over-inflated sense of importance that the world needs to hear my musings so I am absolutely deserving of a book deal. For these 2 reasons:

Reason 1: I have a blog. And I started my blog at the tail end of men everyone with a blog gets a book deal. And this blog has many, many components of a book deal. Such as:

1. It is about my real life exploits and I am an extremely relatable heroine/protagonist.
2. I express my opinions in snarky hilarious ways, because I write like I talk and I make people laugh All. The. Time. rehashing the aforementioned real life exploits. Whimsical loquacious bloggers get book deals.
3. It has a built in story arc of a book deal. (broken engagement→dating→meeting dr soc→ marrying dr soc→best/worst wife ever→pregnancy→mommy)
4. The built-in story arc from my real life exploits have made whyeverythingshouldbepink several 'types' of blogs that get book deals. While mostly a 'lifestyle' blog it also a 'dating' blog, a running 'fitness' blog, a dog 'pet' blog, a bubble of tulle 'bride' blog, a  married, pregnant lady 'personal' blog, and it's currently 64% hilarious/heartwarming/jerky adventures of my children (and the stockpile of drafts to prove it) 'mommy/parenting' blog.  And mommy/parenting blogs always get a book deal. 

But like I said, I started at the tail end of the blog = book deal. By the time I had the content and story arc of a book deal, that ship had mostly sailed. Maybe. Sigh. But!

Reason 2: Twitter. I mastered the art of eloquently voicing my thoughts in 140 characters or less without using text talk like an uncultured swine. I have been (and continue to do so frequently) tweeting well before everyone with a slightly amusing/witty/prolific twitter feed also receives a book deal. Plus now that Twitter allows 280 characters and I finally figured out how to put returns in my tweets, it's like I've been writing nothing but mini novels. Maybe the Next Great American Novel even.

So. With those 2 reasons I really can't help to wonder: Where is my book deal?

Chips

Over Thanksgiving I said that while the show Friends is funny, it's very homophobic and hasn't aged well. The religious side of the family didn't know what homophobic meant (it means you're an ass btw), which then brought up their shock and dismay at the same sex kiss the Macy's parade broadcasted. Their opinion didn't surprise me, but I do not agree with them and didn't want them to think I did, especially in my own home. So I stared them dead in the eye and said: SO?
They start trying to back pedal a little bit, saying it's a sign of the times, they're a different generation, excuses/justifications for their general homophobia.
And once again I said: So what?

Someone else quickly redirected the confrontation and shut down the conversation. I understand why, hot button issue, black and white opinions, lots of people and small impressionable children around. But later I was chafing a bit that my small impressionable kids even heard excuses for homophobia initially.

It was pointed out to me that one conversation isn't "going to change hearts and minds"
Which is true. BUT.
Later that night the same family used a term I find derogatory and outdated. I had one of my kids in my lap, and without much thought I blurted "that's not a nice word." And when they tried to sweep it away I simply said "it's not a nice word" again and it was done.

And then I thought, what if...what if the way to dismantle systemic injustices was to simply call out the microaggressions and behaviors with an undertone of misogyny, racism, homophobia, unkindness, etc, that bolster them? Rather than wait for the acceptance light to go on whilst scrapping in opposite corners, you keep chipping away at the roots that have allowed them to go on for so long in the first place? Make those accepted microaggressions unacceptable, would we see how deep the problem is and make strides to change?

I think it's at the very least, it's worth a shot.

Drip Drip Drip

Okay. So. There are about a billion  polarizing/repugnant/cruel/wrong/racist/sexist/misogynistic/terrifying/dehumanizing/just plain awful things that are a result of the 2016 election. Hopefully the November 2018 election gives this deluge of awfulness a chance to slow down and in 2020 we can turn off this damn hose and start the slow process of healing.

But I've got one more water metaphor for you. And it's that I think one of the most heartbreaking takeaways from the 2016 election is how my individual vote meant absolutely everything and absolutely nothing at the same time. Because my vote, along with everyone else's (who actually did vote that is) is one drop in the bucket. 

Think about it. One drop. Not enough to make a real difference in a bucket. But if you only have a set number of drops to be distributed across a few buckets, the drops are likely to unevenly balance, and one bucket becomes fuller and wins by default. 
Here is a visual example involving maths: 

There are 10 drops and 4 buckets with different colors and levels of viability. Say those drops are dispensed as so: 

                                    drip 
  drip                           drip

  drip                           drip        drip

  drip           drip          drip       drip

(viable) (not viable) (WTF) (not viable)

Red wins by default because as individual buckets, blue, green, and orange each have less than the red total. So by placing a drop/vote in a nonviable bucket thinking it wouldn't matter anyway and didn't count... it really didn't. And yet it really did.

If you voted I'm glad you did so. I really am. But I'm also really pissed at you if threw your vote into a nonviable bucket and screwed up the math. Because now we have about a billion polarizing/repugnant/cruel/wrong/racist/sexist/misogynistic/terrifying/dehumanizing/just plain awful things to deal with.

Thanks.

Let's Talk About Sex, Baby!

Just like with Little Turkey, dr soc and I are going to find out the sex of Little Lion when they are born. So it either amuses me or annoys me when people have a negative opinion on not knowing the sex of our child. And yeah, driving people nuts is part of the fun. But this pregnancy I'm less amused and much more annoyed at those opinions. Probably because that opinion is usually accompanied with the additional opinion of what the opinioner wants (or assumes what we want) the sex to be.

Because we honestly don't care. We've never really cared what the sex of our children would be. Little Turkey it didn't matter because, well, that's just a privilege of being the first born. But we don't have a preference with Lion either. I'm one of 2 girls and dr soc is one of 2 boys (and we all turned out pretty good), so it's not like we think two of the same is a bad thing. 

So it upsets me a little bit when people say they want or assume we want one or the other (usually a boy). I mean, do people think we'll be disappointed one way or the other? Do they think dr soc wouldn't love another little girl as much as a boy? That I would love a little boy less because of my own sex?

I mean, it's a little human, one who will make our world a better place just for being in it. You don't need to have a specific sex for that. 

Why didn't she...?

In the past year alone these are the powerful men who have been accused of sexual assault:
The Hollywood squad:

1. Harvey Weinstein -Hollywood power producer sexually harasses/assaults/rapes women for 30 years
2. Bill Cosby - America's favorite dad serially drugged and raped for (again) years
3. Nate Parker - Upcoming film maker acquitted of rape 
4. Casey Afflect - *sexual harassment settlement from 2010 won the oscar this year  

The Fox "News" (or rapist news network) crowd:

1. Bill O'Reilly - Fox news anchor 
2. Roger Ailes - Fox news founder and CEO (may he rot in hell)
3. Eric Bolling - Fox news host 

The CEO bros:

1. Travis Kalanick - Uber founder and CEO (was forced to resign after fostering toxic work culture) 
2. Antonio Marquis "LA" Reid - Epic Records CEO
3. Bikram Choudhury - famous style yoga guru

The tech industry dudes:

1. Chris Sacca - early investor of Twitter, Uber & Instagram
2. David McClure founder/manager venture capital firm 500 Startups
3. Jason Caldbeck - co-founder/manager of venture capital Binary Capital
4. Mike Cagney Sofi CEO 

And politicians

1. Anthony Weiner - sexting a minor next to his own child, the FBI tossed a red herring so the next slimeball on this list:   
2. Trump - grabbed women by their p*ssy and became president. 

And this is just a list of rich and/or famous douche bags that have been called out, after multiple victims have come forward each time with more and more egregious corroborating stories. This doesn't stop dick pics. Catcalling "should be considered a compliment." About 60% of sexual assaults are even reported, let alone someone being held accountable for a crime. A victim is a victim, no matter the sex, gender identity, race, age, relationship to someone, etc.
So why didn't she tell anyone? What were you wearing? Why are you only now coming forward? Why didn't
Stop.
It's not why didn't they....fill in the blank.
It should be:
Why did the assaulter feel it was their right in the first place?     

Politicaly Correct

It irks me if I hear someone blame political correctness for inaction or judgement lapse. And it really bothers me when not being politically correct is considered something "refreshing."
Because here are a few synonyms for "politically correct:"

• Unoffensive
• Nondiscriminatory
• Unbiased
• Neutral
• Appropriate
• Nonpartisan

Think about it, something politically incorrect falls into one or more of these catagories:

• Offensive
• Discriminatory 
• Biased
• Charged
• Inappropriate
• Partisan

So you are politically correct by not using derogatory terms from antiquated times. You are also politically correct when you don't discriminate based on a person's protected class(es). Actually, just don't discriminate in general, that's even better. So being politically correct isn't really about politics. It's just correct.

Love and Hate

The other day baby girl climbed on top of a laundry basket, theatrically threw her head back and sighed "oh goodness!" Her dramatics were so over the top dr soc and I burst out laughing.
So she did it again. And again. And again, all with a huge smile on her face because we laughed each time.
And she knows how to kiss now too! If we ask for a kiss (and she says yes- no means no!) she'll run over and place her puckered little mouth on our cheek and we squeal with delight because it's one of the sweetest actions and our hearts melt.
She does this because it makes mommy and daddy happy, because she loves us. Love, something we didn't teach her. It didn't have to be taught either, we love her and she knows it so she naturally loves us back. So love, is natural.
My 21 month old loves without ever learning it was something to do. She just does.
So you what's not natural? Hate. Racism. Those are taught.
And I will be damned if I let her learn that.

Religious Freedom

I get religion is a big part of people's lives. I know it can offer explanations, be a guiding factor, a convenience and a comfort to a lot of people. Churches can provide support and a sense of community, and that's a good thing. I understand that, and you have the freedom and right to believe that. But for me...I just can't.

Seriously, don't bring your religion into my realm. It can infuriate me when religion is given credit or blamed for something. I prickle when anyone tells me to have a blessed day. I know it's supposed to be an innocuous thing to say, but it really bothers me to have you wish your religious beliefs on my life in general. I appreciate being in your thoughts during a hard time, but I don't want your prayers. Please don't tell me how a baby is a little miracle, because it's science. Why are so many wars and heinous actions done in any god's name? And please don't explain horrible things to me as god's will.  

I know this is not going to be a popular opinion. But it is mine. It is just as much my right to believe as it is yours to not. This will offend someone, somewhere, and there is nothing I can (or will) do about it. And I don't care either, and really you shouldn't either.      

Camping is Gross

I present a classic Spazella:
Reasons I _________ list:
So here is: Reasons I don't camp.

1. I have no survival skills. I would probably die.
2. I'm not going to sleep on the ground. Rocks digging into whatever body part they want and dirt? No thank you. 
3. I don't want to pee in the woods either. (I might feel differently about that if I was a boy and I could write my name in the snow.)
4. I pretty much hate nature. 
5. It's too quiet. That scares me.
6. It's too loud and full of nature noises. That also scares me.
7. Also, bears live in the woods. Bears will kill you.
8. No internets? Pass.
9. I have AAA for hotels. And even if I didn't - I would still hotel.

High Road / Low Road

When they go low, we go high. Yes, yes, lovely sentiment.
I get that there is dignity in the high road...

But who's getting elected for the most part?
Who's writing healthcare laws for everyone behind the no girls allowed secret clubhouse Senate doors? (hint: no one suffering from the pre-existing condition "women" or "not-white")

And look who's in the Oval Office. That ass did not get there via the high road. He didn't even try a nicety shortcut here and there. He frolicked on the low road and is now lapping up the flattery of the deplorables.      

So yeah, the low road won, and took out most of the high road too. The low road gang gets the chance to do something, anything, because they are the majority.  A lot of good dignity does when you aren't even allowed on the playing field.

So f*ck going high. Go low. Fight dirty. Be UGLY. And stop time going backwards.

Dirty Words

My toddler mimics everything she hears. The words, the inflection, any sound effects (and we do a lot of sound effects), everything. All it takes is for one dirty word to slip out and next thing you know the kid's dropping F-bombs and calling people assholes (but if I'm being honest I will probably lose it because that would be hilarious). In other words, we have to watch our language now.  

You know what isn't a dirty word though? Compromise.

I'm tired of this zero sum game politics have become and scared the omnipresent vitriol will continue to hurt more and more people like yesterday. One of these days the people hurt could be me, my loved ones, even you. You honestly never, ever know.  When did everything become so black and white? How did disagreement become the insurmountable divide?

And one more thing sorta related to sides: when you don't say anything because you know it's not politically correct. That? Is not correct. "It" is politically correct now because at some point "it" was racist, or sexist, or any other outdated way of speech. Stop those dirty words too.  

Bills, Bills, Bills

While the asshole president is throwing his ritual twitter tantrums, the Senate and/or House is quietly passing their deathbed healthcare bill. I'm sure they're all hoping while the president sulks we won't notice the damage they are eliciting. I will say I am so confused. I just don't get the whens, whats, whys, whos and hows the government and bills should do.

Because church and state are separate entities, and corporations need to be left alone to regulate themselves. Fortune 500 companies may rightfully impose the CEO's personal religions beliefs on their employees. Denying abusers access to firearms is unconstitutional, but denying healthcare (or help to the victims of those firearms) is totally kosher. Speaking of Judaism, it's okay to practice whatever religion as long as it's not Islam, or you're brown, and you don't take the jobs white American is too good for. A poppy seed sized embryo is a person with all of it's rights and those rights take precedence over and at the expense of the female host, but only while being hosted. Females in general should not make health decisions about their own life/bodies but are held fully responsible when they were recklessly female and assaulted.

And then there's the enabling the poor people with entitlements. Don't feed the poor kids at school or have a safe place to go after school. Their parents need to work harder, get a job with a living wage and move to a better part of town. But don't mandate a living wage for heavens sake! Where would that money come from? Those rich tax breaks don't go very far.

Seriously, I don't get it. Can I get this mansplained?

Words Matter

You know that part of the first amendment that "Congress shall make no law ... abridging the freedom of speech..." part?
FYI: Freedom of speech ≠ Freedom from ramifications of that speech.

It is not an excuse to spew vitriol and be indignant when someone calls you out on it. It doesn't mean you can say whatever you want and then not be held accountable for that.

It bugs the hell out of me when anyone claim their freedom of speech right is being "threatened" whenever there is backlash over something they've said. Like when the the fcking president commits sexual assault and brushes off the bragging as "locker room talk." Then acts indignant when he's held accountable for those crude words and despicable actions. His mouthpiece Conway makes up the Bowling Green Massacre and acts like the wounded party for her "honest mistake" when she was being made fun of. It took condoning pedophilia to finally make that Milo troll shut up for a while (he'll be back, roaches like him are hard to keep down). And that racist Georgia couple had the nerve to bawl in court after being handed a well deserved prison sentence for threatening a child's birthday party.  
All of them, along with countless others behaving like insolent children when their right to speak freely didn't protect them from any consequences those hurtful words may have caused.

I'm frankly sick of it. Just SHUT THE FUCK UP. Because words matter.

ASStricked Second Amendment

The Second Amendment with today's asstricks
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed.*

*nothing, not even the health and safety of the public,* can get in the way of everyone and anyone having a firearm. Everyone, even proven crazies that might be flagged (but not stopped, let's be honest) can get their unstable and hateful trigger happy hands on a gun. Not mildly alarming at all.
*us peions who don't have people surrounding us whose job is to take a bullet for you.

ASSterisk

Asterisk: noun

noun: asterisk; plural noun: asterisks

1. a symbol (*) used to mark printed or written text, typically as a reference to an annotation or to stand for omitted matter.

ASSterisk: noun

1. exceptions, most likely cherry picked to justify asshole behavior

This is first amendment with Cheeto-in-chief's ASStrericks

Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion*, *except the TV ratings gods
or prohibiting the free exercise thereof;* except Islam, Muslims are bad hombres
or abridging the freedom of speech,* *unless you don't agree with Cheeto in chief's "alternative facts."  
or of the press*; *except Twitter. No fake news like CNN, The Washington Post and New York Times allowed either
or the right of the people* *white men and very pretty women 
peaceably to assemble,* *but not in groups larger than inauguration crowds
and to petition* *but not peacefully protest en mass 
the government* *the patriarchy 
for a redress of grievances* *not discrimination in the workplace, sexual assault, unpaid family leave, unequal pay, autonomy of our own bodies.... real issues like hurting Cheeto's feelings

Now onto Amendment 2...

Feel the burn

As someone who has completed a full marathon (and couldn't walk to prove it) and enough half marathons to loose count on occasion (7. I think 7), I know a few things about working out. I love yoga, dancing like a fool is so fun and runners high are great. Achieving fitness goals and working out are things to be proud of. I'm totally for being active, taking care of oneself and having a healthy lifestyle, especially now that I am a parent.

But god people, I so. don't. care. about your workouts.

You signed up for a race? Awesome! You can fit into a smaller size after working on that for months? Wonderful! Quit smoking 3 years ago? Rock on! Hell, even I've posted about getting stuck in my sports bra, because flailing around like a T-rex is hilarious.

But: Mention you got up at 4 am again to use your favorite treadmill at the gym? Ran 4.13 miles on run keeper? Announce you're 17 days into your wheat grass/acacia berries/organic unicorn hair-diet lunch? Instagramed the kettle bells that were "torture but OMG soooo worth it?" And posted some little workout quip along the lines of sweat is fat crying leaving your body- all within 12 hours?

STFU.

Buckle up

Doomsday. The apocalypse. Tribunal of penance.
Inauguration day is here. GULP.

Okay, so, as much as I want to see that misogynistic asshole fail spectacularly, that would mean the country we all live in would suffer the same fate. Okay, fine, don't fail spectacularly.
But if he's removed from office, we get villain-face Pence...and that's pretty scary. Scarier than the inexperienced clown in office, because this guy has experience and it pretty much anti-everything. So no villain face in power either.
Which leaves us the Speaker of the House: Ryan. Also scary, but in a prettier/younger package to make him more palatable for the general public.

Well these options suck. I guess the best thing I can hope is Congress stays on the obstructionist path and nothing gets done the next 4 years (please, please, please 4 years).  So while we're no better off-at least we're not back in 1954.  

God help us all.

Source Materials

So since multiple intelligence sources have reported on Russian hacking but this most recent one's claims of pres-elect being in collusion with Russia are unsubstantiated, it's to be dismissed as "fake" and ignored and we're on the cusp of him taking office. (***cries*** so many CRIES). And while the details and level of collusion may very well end up being over inflated, there's still enough evidence that Russia hacking our election isn't fake.

However, one redit thread with the pizzagate conspiracy a week before the election and has actually been proven to be fake and should have been dismissed, was enough that a shooting an assault riffle into an occupied public space was considered acceptable enough behavior. One source, no evidence and vigilante justice.

This does not bode well to me. The next 4 years (please, please please only 4 years) are going to be tough.