Thursday, October 29, 2015

Breech of Contract

At my last doctor's visit the doctor was feeling around my belly but couldn't quite figure out where baby's head was. So out comes the ultrasound machine and baby is breech.
That little punk!
However, at that appointment I was just over 34 weeks, so there's still time and space for baby to move head down and butt up. My doctor gave me the okay to try and flip the baby on my own with some yoga positions, so I every night I give it a go. She also mentioned an Indian ritual of walking over hot coals, but I'm just going to leave that one alone. As a last resort maybe I can convince baby to flip by telling him/her it's like flip cup, which is mommy's favorite drinking game.
Hopefully baby gets with the program and moves into the proper position by 39 weeks. Or else baby's probably coming out via c-section before Thanksgiving. Which, nope, OMG, not even going to process that right now. Becasue OMG. Before Thanksgiving.

Monday, October 26, 2015

Like Father, Like Daughter

The closer my due date comes, I find I'm missing my dad more and more. Even though I accepted there was a chance Dad may not meet my children and that there was nothing I could do to help that, the reality of not having him here for these huge life events and even little everyday things is tough.  

But those little everyday things can also be a comfort to me. Just the other day as I was driving home from work with my windows open and the car next to me was blasting their music. I didn't want to hear whatever they were listening to but more importantly I couldn't hear NPR. So I turned up my radio to an 11 (or a 30-something. Whatever, if you don't get the reference we can't be friends). Which is the exact same thing my dad used to do when he was annoyed in the same situation.

I started to laugh and tear up at the same time. I just hope my dad was laughing up there too.

Tuesday, October 13, 2015


The hospital I'm having the baby at offers free prenatal classes, so I figured, when in Rome and signed us up for a series of childbirth classes. Here are some of the things we have learned so far:
  • There are stages and sub-stages of actual labor. And it can take a long time to get a baby out.
  • But at least the possible long labor has a pretty sweet labor/delivery/birthing/postpartum suite.
  • I'm definitely having drugs.
  • Epidural babies may come out sleepy and could have a hard time latching when trying for that first feeding.* 
  • Daddies will pack the hospital bag wrong, as well as the wrong picture and/or going home outfit.** So it's best to do it yourself.
  • Daddies also don't listen to mommies when football or whatever huntin' and fishin' show they like is on.*
  • Dr soc and I are the class outliers. We are the only ones in the class who are going to be surprised on the sex, and we also won't share the names we have picked out.
  • But we're not the weirdest ones either. We certainly were not the ones who asked if we could keep the placenta and if it was possible to make a smoothie out of it.**  
  • We are the snarky classmates though. While every other parent set were sharing that their favorite part of pregnancy is feeling the baby kick* and/or watching mom's body change/grow life sentimental stuff, dr soc shared that his favorite part is that we can sit at the grownup's table now since we'll have a child ourselves, and I said that my favorite part is all the snacks and people doing stuff for me all the time. It's the truth!
*Or did I learn that at the breastfeeding class I took? In that class I learned why lactation consultants can be referred to as lactation nazis. They have very strong opinions on breastfeeding and how it is the most important thing you can ever do for your baby with it's countless benefits and formula is a dead food and other than nutrients won't benefit baby at all and you are horrible.
**Wait, are these separate things? Baby only has a Christmas photo shoot outfit and no other clothes because gender neutral stuff doesn't exist, and now I need two outfits? Shit.
*We didn't find either of those sexist at all. Nope.
** Seriously someone asked that. The nurse teaching the class didn't know so she said to refer to dr google. (some cultures/religions do save it but it's not a western world practice. The making it into a smoothie though is definitely some sort of ethnocentric western world idea thing.)
*Yeah those kicks and rolls are fun and exciting and all that jazz, But sometimes those dance party/ninja warrior moves hurt and it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world if baby could get off my bladder at the same time baby is stretching into my lungs. Play with one organ at a time please.

Thursday, October 1, 2015

You have died of dysentery

Dr soc and I went to something called Science On the Rocks at Discovery Place a while back. It's a themed after hours event at the (expensive) children's museum with stations for activities and trivia.
Anyway, the theme was back to school which I didn't really care about, but I got really excited when I found out you could play The Oregon Trail!
But once again, my young coworkers didn't understand my excitement.
What they said when they played:* What was the big deal about having to make the choice of paying the ferry or fording to river? Why would you hunt? What the hell is dysentery and cholera and get those sick people off the wagon because they are slowing you down! This game is boring!
What I heard: Blasphemy!
I tried to explain how it was one of the greatest treats in school if you were granted computer time, but these two young things also had computers throughout school so that was lost on them as well. I just couldn't get them to the same excitement/nostalgia level as me so I had to give up or else go crazy trying.  
But! Shortly after that another coworker arrived who is closer to me in age. In lieu of a greeting as soon as I saw him I said:
me: Josh! The Oregon Trail! Yes?
Josh: Yeah! If you got a half hour of computer time first thing you did was play Oregon Trail. 
me: Oh thank god. Ok, all is right with the world again.

*I played it the other day since I was bored. Yeah, I quit about 10 minutes into it after I lost 3 of my 6 oxen trying to cross the river and kept wasting bullets shooting trees rather than deer or buffalo. When Zelda (my ringleader) came down with dysentery I said never mind. Though I was pretty bummed that it didn't live up to my nostalgia.