Friday, January 17, 2014

Adventures in Exercise

-5:50 pm-
mike: What time did you want to go to the gym?
::I check my Y's exercise class schedule on the internets::
me: There's a zumba class at 6:45 I'd could go to. Lets go then.
6: 40 pm- ::at the gym::
mike: I'll see you in an hour after your class. Come get me if I'm not done by them.
me: Sure thing. See you in about an hour
6:45 pm- ::I arrive at where zumba is:: 
me: hmm, they're using a lot of equipment, and this posted class schedule says this is a step/strength class...Shit. Oh well, I'll give it a try, here goes.
6:55 - OK, so this is definitely NOT like zumba. But I'll just try to keep up.
7:00 - Yeah, I'm just going to have to work at my own pace.
7:10 - Now we're using weights. I can do some weight work.
7:12 - Maybe I can do light weights next rep.
7:15 - I hate weights. 
7:20 - God I wish this was zumba
7:23 - I'll do the reps but forgo the weights.
7:25 - I hate reps.
7:30 - Just ten more minutes. I can do ten more minutes!
7:35 - I think I'm going to throw up
7:40 - I still think I'm going to throw up. Must remain standing. Must find husband. Must remain standing to find husband.
7:42 - ::see husband!::
me: That wasn't zumba.
mike: No? Was it pilates?
me: God no. It was a step/strength class. It kicked my ass. And I'm really nauseous now.
mike: OK, I'll finish up in about 5 minutes. You go sit down.
me (weakly): OK.
::I sat down for a few minutes in the locker room which helped the nausea::
7:45 -
me (sadly): The internets lied to me. How could they? I should pick up a paper copy of the class schedule so I can double check next time.
-7:50 --Mike approaches the chair I managed to get half my butt on. I missed the first time and it was too much effort to try to get the other half on there as well. 
mike: hey, you look a little better. You ready to go?
me: Yes. So, I looked at the paper schedule. The 6:45 step/strength class is right here on the schedule for room two. And the 6:45 zumba class is on the schedule . In room one. -pause- I'm a dumbass.
mike: Aw!
me: Yeah. Oh well, I'm going to consider my entire aching being a just punishment for thinking the internets had forsaken me.
mike: OK dear, Let's go get some dinner. And hey, at least it wasn't pilates.
me: Truth. If it had been I would have walked out the second I figured it out. I hate pilates.
mike: I know you do.
me: Seriously, fuck pilates.

Friday, January 10, 2014


I'm at work when my co-worker (male, and maybe old enough to be my grandpa) tells me "dear, I think you have a rip in the back of your pants." I had no idea and of course I can't see it, so I'm comically looking over my shoulder turning in circles trying to look at my ass. I asked Nelson where the rip was, but then he said with some embarrassment "well, it's in a spot I don't really want to point it out..."

Upon hearing this, I know I need to go to the bathroom to look. And sure enough, my jeans have thinned so much along the seam there's a noticeable bare patch from ass to lady-parts. Cue the giggling. Fortunately for me, I'm only working a half day, and even more fortunately I'm wearing full coverage underwear. But this doesn't solve the immediate problem of there being a rip in my pants.

Now, the whole time I'm spinning in circles our other coworker could see us on the security camera in the back all he can do is laugh. I'm the MacGyver of our staff so if anyone is going to fix this problem it's going to be me. Plus we are talking about my pants, and the only one who should be taking care of those types of problems is me (or my husband) anyway. While I don't want to put tape on the outside of my pants, I figure I can put some inside just to keep the rip from getting bigger in the next 2 hours.

But then, I couldn't find any duct tape. We had packing tape, sealing tape, book tape, masking tape, double-sided tape, scotch tape and some tacky glue, but no duct tape. I decided that the sealing tape was the next best option since the width of the tape was bigger than the rip, thus I would have to use less of it. I go back to the ladies room, place the necessary amount of tape to keep the rip in place and head back to the workroom. But suddenly I have a different problem: the tape crinkles as I walk. And honestly, I'm not sure which one is worse!

At least I can sit for most of my 2 hours left, so it's really not going to be that bad, just funny. I text my husband about how silly this day has been, and his response is: "at least you are taking it in stride." Which made me realize we would be making a lot of walking/my pants puns. But I figured the whole situation was ridiculous enough, so if a rip, some tape and a couple of bad puns was as bad as it was going to get, it would be fine. But I was wrong, because then the tape starts itching.

At that point I just gave into the complete ridiculousness of the situation and giggled the rest of my shift. Sitting down. 

Wednesday, January 8, 2014


Dr. Soc and I were leaving the hospital after spending the afternoon with my dad. As we were walking* towards the garage where our car was parked, Mike pointed towards the rock star parking portion that was closed off with a gate.

mike: I see that on the gate it says "physicians' parking," and not "doctors' parking." So I can't park there.
me: Haha! No honey, you're not that kind of doctor.

--Later that evening as we were having diner at our friends' house --  

me: Cough-cough-cough-cough.
mike: ~exasperated~:  Priya, she has been coughing for 2 months now. Tell her she needs to see a doctor.
priya: You need to see a doctor.
me (between hacks): Hey, Priya is a doctor! Board certified and everything. And technically I'm looking at her right that count?
mike and priya: No (emphatically I might add).
me: ~huff~: Fine. Besides, I promised I would never be "that" friend. But if just seeing did count then I could be done with this whole thing because I did marry a doctor and I see him all the time.
mike: Haha! I'm not that kind of doctor!   

*And by walking, I mean scurrying as fast as we could because it was so damn cold.**
**Seriously, in the teens-to-low-twenties-cold. It wasn't us just being lily-livered-southerners-who-think-anything-below-50-is-cold-cold.

Monday, January 6, 2014

Happy New Year

So. My 2014 started off with a bang.
New Years Day we drove to Kentucky to visit my parents and our friends. Saturday we were headed to cinci for a college friends wedding, and Sunday we were headed back to Charlotte. But those plans were scraped because:

My dad was admitted to the hospital with pneumonia.

The day after Mike and I arrived (Thursday), when dad came home from his adult day care, he was moving incredibly slow, barely had any coordination and balance, and he was trembling all over and leaning heavily towards his right side. I hoped that it was just his blood sugar being low due to his diabetes, but the shaking and leaning had me so scared that I feared this was something far worse (a stroke). Dad has lost most of his ability to talk, so even if he did know and could describe what was wrong, he couldn't even tell us anyway. With his doctor's office closed for the evening and the doctor on call being busy when my mom called, Mike and I exchanged and look and decided we were taking him to the ER now.

With a lot of difficulty we got him in the car and with even more difficulty we got him out of it. Dad was like a rag doll at this point, so it took all 3 of us to move him from the car, and even then if it wasn't for the help of a good Samaritan, he would have collapsed on me and than both of us would have been hurt. He was checked in and taken back to an exam room pretty quickly, and then we waited. (Turns out I went to elementary school with the ER admitting tech. She couldn't remember if I was the older or younger one (older), but she did remember that one of us sucked our thumb for a really long time (that was totally my sister).) Eventually from all the tests, blood draws and other hospital stuff, the doctor diagnosed a clear case of pneumonia.

He was given antibiotics and admitted for treatment after that, but he would have to stay in the hospital for at least a few days. And you know, it never occurred to me he would be admitted. Even though pretty much anything with the exception of low blood sugar would probably require hospitalization, it didn't even cross my mind he would have to stay in the hospital for some reason. Mike said that was due to being in crisis mode, we were so focused on finding out what was wrong that we couldn't fathom anything past that point.

I could go on and give more details about the rest of our visit, but frankly I'm so tired and I'll finish up the rest of the story tomorrow. But my dad is recovering very well and he can leave the hospital tomorrow! Yes we were in crisis mode, but all things considered, it was a manageable crisis and it put mom, my sister and I on the same page of dad's care, which is something we have never had before.

So yeah, my dad certainly started 2014 with a bang.

Update 1/10/14:
Dad went home on Wednesday the 8th and he's doing very well. There really isn't much more of the story anyway. We spent the next few days rotating shifts and staying overnight with dad. We decided to not go to the wedding and missed seeing my college friends, but everyone understood and we did get a little more time to see our Lexington friends. And my mom finally, finally has started accepting help with my dad's care. So I'll reiterate that while this was a crisis and really scary, all things considered, things are going to be ok.