Friday, September 28, 2012

100 updated things about myself

When I started this blog 4 years ago I did a 100 things about myself as a way of introducing myself to the blogospher. And since lots of things have happened in that past 4 years I figured it was time for an update. Blue are new, or things I have updated/or added more snark to.  Enjoy!

  1. My favorite color is (still), pink
  2. I’m a complete girly girl
  3. I’m really 5’4 1/2”, but I claim I’m 5’5”
  4. My lucky number is 4
  5. I prefer even numbers over odd.
  6. I'm a talker. No ifs ands or buts about it.
  7. If I’m not talking, I am only one of two options A: exhausted or B: mad as hell
  8. I can keep a secret in that I won't tell someone the actual secret itself. But I can't keep that I have a secret, secret.  
  9. I'm in graduate school pursuing my masters in library and information studies. I will know everything
  10. I am trying to take over the world one circulation desk at a time.
  11. Though very happily married to the love of my life, I don’t believe in “the one”
  12. I moved 20 times in the 10 years. My next move will be in the ground
  13. My default favorite ice cream and cake flavor is strawberry. The main reason: It's pink.
  14. My favorite pie of all time is blueberry. 
  15. I have two dogs, who I love dearly, even though they are both so so naughty and spazztastic.
  16. I don't think I could ever have another puppy, despite my husband's claim that our kids will convince me other wise. 
  17. I cry weddings. But not as much as I thought I would at my own. I was doing great at the rehearsal until Mike lost it and it was sob city the rest of the night.
  18. Mike, who has his PhD in sociology, married the worst sociologist ever much to his chagrin.
  19. I love to cook and am always trying new recipes.
  20. I consider a cookbook an awesome gift
  21. Though my baked good may not turn out super pretty, they at least usually turn out super tasty.
  22. One of my biggest pet peeves is a picky eater over the age of 7.
  23. I will try almost anything food wise at least once.
  24. But I loathe cooked carrots, I cannot get past the texture.  It's the same reason I won't eat pate.  
  25. Though the reason I can't eat eel is mental. 
  26. My husband and I both get super cranky if we don't eat at regular intervals. It's how we know we'll always take care of each other.
  27. Lace is my favorite fabric
  28. I have spent around $100 (give or take) at almost every single Victoria’s Secret semi annual sale I have been too.
  29. I have a lot of underwear, clearly
  30. I got the saying “clearly,” from Jeanne
  31. I do whatever Jeanne tells me
  32. I have some of the best, most supportive friends in the world. I'm really lucky in that way.
  33. I met my husband through eharmony, and it was worth ever penny.
  34. I’m allergic to cats
  35. I love twitter.
  36. I can't speak another language. I took both French and Spanish in college and I get the two mixed up all. the. time.
  37. I love roller coasters, but I most definitely can't handle them like I could when I was a kid.
  38. I don't like the enclosed water tube slides anymore. I somehow developed a slight fear of becoming stuck in one, so decided that I am 30 and I don't have to like them if I don't want to.
  39. My appendix ruptured and had to be removed when I was 6
  40. I had my belly button pierced until I was 21; I took it out after a drunk wrestling match went horribly, horribly wrong
  41. I don’t have any tattoos
  42. Honestly, I think 99% of tattoos are unnecessary. My exception here, is the Olympic ring tattoo. 
  43. I am an Olympic junkie. I love the summer ones more, but London I couldn't get enough coverage.
  44. Water polo? Is like, the coolest thing to watch. However, handball, is lame.
  45. I think Bob Costas is an ass.
  46. I don't think there's a point in being mean just to be mean.
  47. I have cut my hair and donated it 3 times so far.
  48. I am a born and bred proud Kentucky girl. I love all things bourbon, the Derby, and my Wildcats.  
  49. Wine is one of my favorite foods. 
  50. Wine goes strait to my head and then makes me sleepy
  51. Laugh all you want, but being a light weight doesn't suck.
  52. I cannot parallel park
  53. I think poetry and most song lyrics are an absolute waste on me
  54. I think “Sweetest Day” is a bull shit holiday. (unless you buy my chocolate honey. that's cool)
  55. I don’t play sports with balls and teams, but I do love going to sporting events. Mainly for the food.
  56. I love my Carolina Panthers!
  57. Because I love my husband very much, I cheer for the Browns as well (unless they are playing the Panthers. All bets are off when it comes to my Panthers).
  58. I love fantasy football. Seriously
  59. My husband has himself an excellent football wife.
  60. Hubby and I are the only people who do not watch American Idol
  61. But we love watching countdowns on the NFL network and so bad they are awesome syfy movies.
  62. My husband hates the term hubby, yet I continue to use it.
  63. I do need my coffee in the morning to function, but I truly enjoy it as well
  64. I bite and/or pick at my nails when nervous or stressed.
  65. I'm always slightly disappointed when I open google and it's not a google doodle.
  66. I think google is trying to take over the world, and I'm totally ok with that.
  67. I think rude people are unnecessary
  68. I have wide (yet tiny) feet.
  69. I believe in karma.
  70. I don’t judge my friends and as much as I used to in general.
  71. But I still judge a lot more than most.
  72. I hate picking out paint colors
  73. I may never look back on my time in daap fondly or with rose colored glasses. I worked my ass off and it was absolute fucking hell. 
  74. However, I made some of my best friends ever there, so it wasn't a total wash.
  75. I’ve run 5 half-marathons and one full one by now.
  76. I do consider myself a runner, albeit a slow one.
  77. I am an excellent hostess and throw a really good bridal and baby shower.
  78. Not being allowed to help with my own bridal shower drove the party planner in me nuts.
  79. I will never sky dive, because it scares the ever living crap out of me.  And I have forbidden my husband from ever doing so as well because I see no reason to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.
  80. I have also forbidden him from swimming with sharks, getting a motorcycle, or anything else that could get him maimed, even though I'm now on his life insurance.   
  81. Text talk is a pet peeve of mine and Mike's. When I got a text message with you-s instead of u-s from him, I took it as a sign to keep him.  
  82. I’m terrified of snakes. TERRIFIED.
  83. While I'm not super terrified of spiders and can kill them myself, I still prefer that my husband kill the really big ones. 
  84. I used to know all sorts of pop culture stuff, but now, I can't even tell you who's in the top 40. But I can tell you about the awesome story I heard on NPR.
  85. I big poofy heat love NPR. I also got "big poofy heart love" from Jeanne.
  86. Target is my happy place.
  87. Patience is a virtue I am slowly learning in dealing with my dad's disease.
  88. At 26 I became so much stronger than I ever realized I could be.
  89. I have the worst passport photo ever
  90. Somewhere down the road there I turned into my mother, but not quite as neurotic. Yet.
  91. I don’t really trust vegans.
  92. But I don't trust girls without girlfriends most of all.  
  93. I will watch any move with a dance sequence.
  94. I think loneliness is one of the most heart breaking things in the world.
  95. But I believe that hope is one of the most powerful and amazing things to exist
  96. I’m a silver lining kind of girl
  97. I do believe in the inherent good of people and that most mean the best intentions; it just doesn’t always come through.
  98. Sometimes I think I'm actually a grown up
  99. I cannot live without laughter.
  100. I believe in a happy ending

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Ummm, No

A couple gems from work:

scene: A student was checking out the English Patient dvd.
me: I tried to read this, but I just didn't have the time to do so.
student: Oh? They made a book after the movie?*
me: Umm, no.

Another student a few hours later, checking out a the dvd on Lolita:

student 2: I really like Kubrick's movies. Especially Eyes wide shut. It's about a married couple and their problems. I thought it must be really true to life, marriages and their troubles. You know, because all marriages have some sort of problem.
(I decided to ignore both those quips since I am a newlywed and married life is perfect. And I also thought Eyes Wide Shut was a stupid movie )
me: I'm fairly indifferent to his work. But this book (Lolita) is really good.**
student 2: Did you read it? I think I know what it's about It's about a man and a woman, and they're like, really crazy about each other and in love, right?
me: Umm, no. No. Not at all.

*Made a book. Not wrote a book. Made.
**It is, it's a beautifully written novel. But you certainly don't go around telling people that you enjoyed a fiction book told from the perspective of a pedophile.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012


Michele: So, tell me about your classes. How many are you taking this semester again?
me: I've got 3 this semester. They're all online in a way, one's completely online and the other 2 we have a set meeting time online as well.
Michele: Wow, all online, that must be pretty convenient.
me: It is, I can read when I have time, and as long as I get things turned in before the deadline I'm good. I don't even have to put on pants to "go" to class! But I do. Because I can't take myself seriously without pants.

Monday, September 24, 2012


I'm an aunt!

My husband's brother's wife (I don't think she's my sister-in-law) had our niece at a little after 8 am this morning, so I'm aunt by marriage. But I don't care, I'm an aunt, for real now!

Welcome little girl, I can't wait to meet you!

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Dog's Day Out

Last week Mike was vacuuming the house for Jeanne and Matt's and kids visit,when I heard the phone ring. I didn't recognize the number, but I asked my husband to stop for a second and picked up the phone.  The caller confused me at first by starting the conversation with telling me she was around the corner, but she had my full undivided attention when she told me our dogs were loose. Turns out the fence gate had been slightly open and they had escaped, and we were none the wiser.

I thanked the caller profusely and promptly told my husband the girls were loose, to which he immediately ran out the door to find them. I grabbed my shoes, their leashes and followed suit. It probably only took less than 60 seconds to reach them, but it was a long 60 seconds.  Because even though I knew everyone was ok and that it would be fine, it's still a moment of panic when you realize that your beloved dogs aren't where you thought they were and you didn't keep them safe.

The caller and girls were right where they said they were, and they both looked as happy as clams with big, tongue lolling goofy grins on their faces while they they sniffed the other dogs (who were probably the same dogs they had seen and had escaped the yard to get to). And when they saw mommy and daddy running towards them they got even happier, enjoying their escape, none the wiser they had scared the ever living crap out of.

As I was sprinting towards the girls (and I am not a sprinter, I'm a distance runner) it took me about 15 seconds to realize that the caller had called the home number on Bailey's id's tag that she always, always wears. I used to scratch her name and my cell number on the back of her licence when we lived in Kentucky, but it was pretty crude id. Once we moved to North Carolina and got settled, I got her an engraved one with her name and our contact information.  Bailey's also micro chipped, but that would only come in handy if she was taken to a shelter and they scanned her.  Jules has an id tag as well, but she doesn't wear it all the time (oh believe me, she does now), and she also wasn't micro chipped either until 2 days ago. So we're even more lucky that the girls stayed together when they escaped, or else we might have not gotten them both back. 

Anyway, once we reached them, we leashed them up and took them the short walk back home. They pranced all the way back. Of course they did. Of course they did.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

At Auntie's House

Last Saturday my good friends from college stopped by on thier way home from thier family vaction at the beach. I was really excited to see them becasue they had never seen my house, but I also hadn't seen thier kids (in person) in over a year since their little dude's baptism when he was 3 months old and thier daughter was almost 2 and a half.  So lots of stuff had changed, except that the kids are just too adorable for words.

Anyway, we were showing them the house and we were looking for a spot for the three year old to maybe take a rest later. At some point the three year old, a crazy dog and I were sitting on the daybed we have in one of our rooms. I'm holding crazy dog back a little so she won't spazz the child off the bed, and N discovers that the day bed is a really good bouncy bed.

So there's N bouncing on the bed, her curls flying around and she says excitedly: this is a really good bouncing bed!
me: I bet you can't do that in your house can you?
N: No!
me: Ok. 

--And let her continue bouncing. Becasue I am an awesome auntie--

That is one smart cookie. She totally knew her limits in that she can't bounce on the bed at her house, but it's cool at my place.  Then later when both of them were upstairs and my husband went to check on them, she and her brother/partner in crime were bouncing again, having a great time.*

Fun times!

*We really didn't care. We probaly won't let Sharktopus and Dinocroc bounce on the beds at home, but that's becasue of it's thier home and there are rules. But that's ok becasue they can always bounce on the beds at thier auntie's houses!

Thursday, September 13, 2012


Our next door neighbors (not the ones I hoped were related to the president. The other side) broke up the same time Mike and I were sending out our wedding invites. (Seriously, we were about to hand them theirs when the guy told us he was moving out.) Apparently it hadn't been working for a while, she's really focused on her career and has to travel a lot for it, but they are going to try to remain friends.  Sure. That's what they all say, until one person starts seeing someone else.  But they were together 5 years, probably weren't ready to throw in the towel completely, and every now and again we would see the guy's truck in the driveway. Mike or I (sometimes both) would notice and comment to each other, wondering if a reunion was possible. 

But one morning a while back as I was leaving for work, I noticed someone had left a bouquet of flowers on the windshield her work car. (When we see that car we know she's home since it's parked on the street or in her driveway.) And the flowers had been placed there after a bunch of people had been over, but none of those cars had been the guy neighbor's truck.  But we did notice one car in particular stayed longer than all of them.  And that it showed up again a few weeks later, and so did another bunch of flowers after it left. 

Hmmm. How intriguing. So now whenever Mike or I sees the Casanova car we point it out to the other and we are just downright curious of who this Casanova is. Speculating who it is, how they met, if truck neighbor knows and how he feels, or is he's Casanova-ing someone else too.

You know, it's kinda fun spying on the neighbors!

Monday, September 10, 2012

Required reading

I'm in grad school. There is a lot of reading in grad school. A LOT.  I knew this going into it. 
My co worker (from the library) in a MLIS program a few years ago did not.

coworker (seeing her reading list): Oh my god! Do they really expect me to real all of this?
me and another (library) co-worker: Yes!

And with that, I leave you to finish a few more chapters!

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Late Night Phone Calls

My home phone rang at 11:50 pm last night. And at my age you answer the call form a number you don't recognize because you just hope that it's not an emergency.

It was not an emergency. It was giggly, sloppy drunk dial from the Raleigh/Chapel Hill area, jabbering something about frank and an order.

Relief that it' not an emergency quickly transitions into annoyance. But I told them they had the wrong number and got ready to hang up. But drunk and disorderly on the line doesn't understand and tries to dispute that with a "are you shhhhuuul you're not Frank? Like, really sure?"

Yeah. I'm sure. So that I responded with a groan and a why am even I talking to you you idiot? and hung up.

My guess is they were probably going to call back and tell me off, but then they passed out since my phone didn't ring again. I just hope that kid's hangover tomorrow is hell.

Friday, September 7, 2012


Yesterday I broke down and picked up chickfila on my way home from work. I say broke down because while I wasn't making an effort to boycott them, I also wasn't going out of my way to give them my business.  I was more so surprised at the recent media frenzy everything turned into more so than what the media frenzy was about. I mean, the company closes on Sundays so everyone can go to church, I figured their stance on homosexuality was the pink elephant in the room.

Anyway. I was tired after work, it was on my way home, and I didn't want to make lunch for myself. So I stopped in for a quick and easy lunch.  I got my usual nuggets, but what I really wanted was the lemonade for some reason. No one made any kind of scene, I ordered, it was processed in a timely fashion and I was on my way.  

Well. The homophobic chicken was almost strait from the hate fryer so I ended up burning my mouth.  And then the lemonade mixed with something and tasted way off.

Pretty sure that was god's way of telling me to not eat homophobic chicken anymore. Duly noted.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Pants Always Beats No Pants

I need new pants for work. I have a decent amount of dress pants, but I don't really need to go that formal for my jobs. (both of which I cannot wait to start) I have 2 pairs of khaki/twill pants that I could wear, but that's it, I have 2 pairs and I need to wear them throughout the week. I have some capris that work in the summer, but it's not summer anymore. Not to mention I'm still searching for comfortable yet professional shoes and not old lady shoes that don't pinch.

But I don't have the funds to fortify my wardrobe. And even if I did have them, trying to find pants that fit is a whole 'nother mater. Because I wear a 0-2, sometimes a 4, depending on the brand. And do you know hard that is to find that size in women's clothing? Yeah you can find them in the juniors section, but I am 30, and I am not shopping in the teenage section.

I know, the skinny girl can't find pants that fit her, boo-fcking-hoo. I'm sure there are many people who would love to be at my end of the spectrum. But all I'm saying is skinny people can have problems finding clothes that fit too.     

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Oil spill

Last night I was cooking dinner like I normally do and as I was getting the olive oil out of the cupboard, the cap came off on my hand (it must not have been on very tight) and the bottle slipped from my grasp.  The bottle hit the counter top then the floor, where the glass, almost full bottle broke and emptied it's contents all over my kitchen floor.

The first thing I tell Mike to do is keep the dogs away, there's broken glass on the floor but we also don't want them to investigate and get their paws coated in oil and track it through the house.  Eventually we end up crating them just because we just couldn't keep them away.

Well, neither one of us knows how to clean up a spill this big, so I gingerly walk over to the computer (I have oil spattered on my feet too) and google search how to clean an olive oil spill. I clicked on this really wordy solution that was way more like to hear themselves talk than actually tell me how to clean. But I was able to pick out the key word corn starch and could figure out what to do from there without having to read the rest of the jabbering.

By now Mike has picked up the large glass chunks and the shards have been swept up as well, but we've also been sweeping the oil around too. I gingerly walk around the kitchen island, awkwardly grab the corn starch, and proceed to dump it all over my kitchen floor, much to the complete and utter glee of my inner child. I stepped right in the cornstarch puddle to soak up the oil from my feet, and resumed cooking while we waited for the rest oil to soak up. (it was draft night for both my fantasy teams, there was a schedule to keep!)

Then 5 minutes later must have I decided the mess wasn't big enough so I fumbled and emptied the box of spaghetti over the kitchen floor too! I mean, what the hell? How on earth did I manage to make not one, but two epic messes in the span of 5 minutes?  I look at the spaghetti strewn around my floor on top of the cornstartch layer with my mouth agape, and I look up to see my husband with the exact same look.

And with that, he says: "you are NOT allowed to drink during the draft tonight."