Hypocrisy

How dare the government look at white peoples 2nd amendment right? But only for the white mostly male right holders. And even when a particularly hateful one of their own is a victim… if anyone points out you reap what you sow (aka fuck around and find out) that speaker is the asshole. 

And then that asshole will be canceled by the exact same people who are against cancel culture when it hurts any assholes in power. 

Not all white people bla bla bla, whatever. A blanket statement doesn’t apply to your special snowflake status. But they aren’t snowflakes themselves, no no no. That depravity is the snowflake. That snowflake is not special but also SO special. That not special special snowflake is not included in the blanket not all category with the other snowflakes who aren’t snowflakes.

Terrifying yes? 

The united states of misogyny

We don't need to beat this to death. I don't need CNN, Fox Faux news, NPR or anyone else to mansplain to me why, once again, a petulant convicted felon rapist spewing vitriol, beat the vastly overqualified and educated, this time Black/Asian, female candidate. AGAIN.  

We live in a systemically racist patriarchy. America has always oppressed non-white cis-males. Women, and above all a woman of color have always been expendable. THAT is why. Yes, the economy was a factor, but just like 'not all men' are rapist, jackasses, douche canoes etc, the economy was a portion of the problem, not the overall problem.      

Look, I know Madame President Kamala Harris couldn't have fixed everything for everyone. Big issues take BIG time, but she would have started fixing things. Because women, back women especially, get shit done because they have to. Meanwhile, the orange conman flings shit because no one will tell him no.

So, yeah, I'm scared. I'm angry. And I don't want to be kind to the asshats who voted for him. Once again, any "others" have to justify their existence in a country that has never seen them as equal. When he does exactly what he says he will do, no mater how outlandish, cruel, nonsensical it was, don't be surprised. I swear to god if you clutch your pearls I may choke you with them.   

White privilege

So. Yesterday.

• White people took selfies while they terrorized the capital to keep the incompetent authoritarian regime in place. 
• Black Lives Mater supporters were told to leave their phones at home so info could not be used to be arrested later while they asked for people of color to not be killed for being black.
• An orange con man used his global platform to incite violence and encourage a riot.
• A black football player used his platform to direct attention to systemic injustices and was fired.

In general white people can:  

• go jogging (#AmaudArbery).
• relax in the comfort of my own home (#BothemSean and #AtatianaJefferson).
• ask for help after being in a car crash (#JonathanFerrell and #RenishaMcBride).
• have a cellphone (#StephonClark).
• leave a party to get to safety (#JordanEdwards).
• play loud music (#JordanDavis).
• sell CD's (#AltonSterling).
• sleep (#AiyanaJones)
• walk from the corner store (#MikeBrown).
• play cops and robbers (#TamirRice).
• go to church (#Charleston9).
• walk home with Skittles (#TrayvonMartin).
• hold a hair brush while leaving my own bachelor party (#SeanBell).
• party on New Years (#OscarGrant).
• get a normal traffic ticket (#SandraBland).
• lawfully carry a weapon (#PhilandoCastile).
• break down on a public road with car problems (#CoreyJones).
• shop at Walmart (#JohnCrawford) .
• have a disabled vehicle (#TerrenceCrutcher).
• read a book in my own car (#KeithScott).
• be a 10yr old walking with our grandfather (#CliffordGlover).
• decorate for a party (#ClaudeReese).
• ask a cop a question (#RandyEvans).
• cash a check in peace (#YvonneSmallwood).
• take out my wallet (#AmadouDiallo).
• run (#WalterScott).
• breathe (#EricGarner).
• live (#FreddieGray).
• ask someone to put a required leash on their dog in the public park we are in (#ChristianCooper).
• BE ARRESTED WITHOUT THE FEAR OF BEING MURDERED. (#GeorgeFloyd)

White people don't become hashtags. And if you refuse to see the issue with this... Look, I'm not calling you a racist. But after yesterday's failed coup d'état and you still won't admit to your own white privilege and accept and/or support ingrained racist policies that villainize a black person's existence... Well, your racism is showing. 

2020 Ire

November 9 2016 I was scared shit-less at the election results. 

Now? In the wake of RGB's death? FUCKING TERRIFIED.

And I'm FURIOUS I'm even scared in the first place. I am not okay! I am actually on the verge of a panic attack I'm so indescribably upset. This is not good. The world is not okay. We are in an orange bully garbage fire while his shrew cronies pour gasoline. And I will not accept this is the world I'm leaving for my children.     

 

You 2016 trump voters: Fuck you.

And you 2020 voters for him? FUCK YOU.  

If you are ashamed to vote for him but do so anyway: fuck your cowardliness.

If you vote for a 3rd party for whatever reason: fuck your narcissism.

If you don't vote at all: fuck your white male privilege. 

What I'm saying is: If you don't vote for anyone except Biden/Harris: FUCK YOU. 

Yeah. I know who you are. I don't care if you have hurty fweeling the same way you don't care about the ramifications of your vote. Go choke on your conservative fox news bullshit.

Word Fun (but not really)

One of the two mass shooters* in the past 24 hours had the gall to post online their own racist manifesto before his killing spree. As if his diatribe is important. As if he is important.***

***Nope, not even. Fragile f*cking insignificance is more like it.

You know who else had a manifesto? Hitler. And there was a whole world war declaring that nazis are bad and they lost. The WHOLE WORLD.

So I am breaking down the word manifesto. Ahem. man - i - fest - o

• man: young white male
• i: self-important = hubris
• fest: fester
• o: cutesy sanitizing ending

So in conclusion - a "manifesto" is: a white young male's festering hubris. 

Choke on that.

* I. AM. FURIOUS.**
**for so many reasons

1. that this is another mass shooting and it won't be the last.
2. the inaction of thoughts and prayers.
3. the senate doing nothing. 
4. fragile masculinity and the patriarchy continuing to get away with actual murder. 
5. the NRA's propaganda. 
6. fill-in-another-abhorrent-reason here. 

Cruelty

This asshole president is cruelty personified.
And the absolute HORRORS of this administration continue and are escalating.

The "executive order" to stop separating and irreversibly traumatizing families was a policy implemented by king cruelty himself. It just throws the newest traumatized families in jail together and ignores the atrocities already committed.

I cannot think about it without becoming angry. It's infuriating, horrifying and it breaks my heart over and over.  I won't argue with anyone who thinks the execution of the zero-tolerance policy was acceptable and/or the aforementioned executive order deserves a gold star for the crisis of it's own making. I can't make anyone care about another human being, and it's a waste of time and energy to try to do so.   

But I will say this to anyone who defends this current policy, from the bottom of my breaking heart: FUCK YOU.

Two Ways

It bothers me a lot when someone says their first amendment right is being stifled if people are offended by their words/actions/beliefs. Because it's not. You can still have those words/actions/beliefs and you won't be thrown in prison for expressing those (at least 90% of the time- threatening a white person may get you in some trouble). And I also find it incredibly irksome when those same people who said/did/believe something vile are offended when their particular stance is deemed not politically correct.

Because if you are going to take offense at something being politically correct, you can't take offense when you are called exactly what you are: racist/sexist/asshole etc.

It's a two way street people.

Arms Reason

What the ever loving fuck?
https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/21/health/florida-legislature-porn-dangerous-but-not-weapons/index.html
Assault riffles are military weapons whose soul purpose is to cause maximum harm and kill. KILL. Bullets fired from these weapons are designed to kill and they mutilate and destroy everything in their proximity. So why the ever loving fuck are these not dangerous according to lawmakers?

Why does anyone need an assault riffle? Honest to god, someone tell me a reason other than it's the 2nd amendment of in the constitution. A lot of things have changed in the past few hundred years since those amendments were created by a rich white male slave owners. And there was an amendment that didn't work either. Remember that whole alcohol was illegal thing? That was the 18th amendment of the Constitution. There were 2 more amendments added (#19: women get to vote! #20: the presidential term starts January 20 at noon) before #21 when white lawmakers said take backsies! on #18 because society was pretty much just a big 'ol mess. So it is possible to make and repeal amendments that reflect the times. Like #13 - lets make this slavery/owning people thing illegal. Or #22 - no one can be elected president more than twice so the same person doesn't stay in power indefinitely (looking at you FDR).

Once again, please give me a reason your right to own an assault riffle usurps the safety of the general public. Why must humanity suffer again and again from the fragility of masculine insecurity? (yes I know there are women who love guns and shooting too, but these mass murderers have been mostly white males) Even if you don't kill people with your assault riffle, does having that tool to kill innocents make you feel better? Does the ability to destroy countless others' sense of safety secure your own? Do you sleep better knowing your right to own a weapon will never replace all of the other lives destroyed by gun violence?

Give me a reason. Give the world a reason. We are owed a fucking reason.

SHOUTING WILL SOLVE THIS

Apparently the assault riffle used in the most recent (fuck, most recent. Let that sink in) school shooting was bought legally. But legal or illegal, why does anyone have an assault riffle in the first place? And why do NRA paid politicians give those same objects assault weapons more rights and protections than humans women and children?

This is the 18th school shooting for 2018. EIGHTEENTH. THIRTY-FIVE DAYS INTO THE YEAR.
I know once you start shouting you have lost your argument, but I don't know what else to do at this moment. This is becoming normal and IT SHOULDN'T BE NORMAL.

Selfishly I think: how do I protect my children? I can save my girl from a ladybug on the playground, but a bullet at school where I'm not? Maybe I should home school the kids so they don't have to be a victim of another (because there will be another) school shooting. Or buy them bullet proof vests with the rest of their school supplies. Do they make those in size 5T? (my girl is tiny-she may be that size by kindergarten) WHY DO I EVEN HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THIS?

Why does ANYONE WORRY ABOUT THIS? FIX THIS BULLSHIT.

#MeToo

Of course I've been sexually harassed.
I mean, I did things like going for runs in shorts and a tank top since it was 90-billion degrees. I've walked from point A to point B and my "gorgeous ass!" got a shout out. (which it is, but that's not the point.) I've been as brazen as to stand still and my backside got brushed. And let's not forget I was a bartender, a flirty, super cute young 20 something with a great figure at that. Of course I was there for (mostly older, mostly white) males to ogle and comment on. For goodness sake, what did I expect?

Wait. Hold on-

Oh but I also know to never leave my drink unattended at a party. And to not wear my headphones, be on (or even have out) my phone and to be aware of my surroundings at all times when walking alone - which you should never do in the first place. It's also not smart to wear my hair in a ponytail, or have any sort of strap across or on my body so you are harder to grab and assault. And -

Wait! Wait! Seriously, hold on. 

What did I expect? What are the preventive actions I'm supposed to do to not get raped? What am I supposed to wear? To not wear? Who's going to believe me if I ever am assaulted? Why is it my responsibility when my female body is regulated by men in the first place? 

So yeah. #MeToo. I bet everyone, and I mean everyone, has some sort of #MeToo story of their own. And by all means yes, shed some light on this and show how ubiquitous this all is. Hell, use a floodlight and keep it on this issue. But could we also: #BelieveTheVictim, #Don'tRape and #StopRapeCulture too? 

  

Why didn't she...?

In the past year alone these are the powerful men who have been accused of sexual assault:
The Hollywood squad:

1. Harvey Weinstein -Hollywood power producer sexually harasses/assaults/rapes women for 30 years
2. Bill Cosby - America's favorite dad serially drugged and raped for (again) years
3. Nate Parker - Upcoming film maker acquitted of rape 
4. Casey Afflect - *sexual harassment settlement from 2010 won the oscar this year  

The Fox "News" (or rapist news network) crowd:

1. Bill O'Reilly - Fox news anchor 
2. Roger Ailes - Fox news founder and CEO (may he rot in hell)
3. Eric Bolling - Fox news host 

The CEO bros:

1. Travis Kalanick - Uber founder and CEO (was forced to resign after fostering toxic work culture) 
2. Antonio Marquis "LA" Reid - Epic Records CEO
3. Bikram Choudhury - famous style yoga guru

The tech industry dudes:

1. Chris Sacca - early investor of Twitter, Uber & Instagram
2. David McClure founder/manager venture capital firm 500 Startups
3. Jason Caldbeck - co-founder/manager of venture capital Binary Capital
4. Mike Cagney Sofi CEO 

And politicians

1. Anthony Weiner - sexting a minor next to his own child, the FBI tossed a red herring so the next slimeball on this list:   
2. Trump - grabbed women by their p*ssy and became president. 

And this is just a list of rich and/or famous douche bags that have been called out, after multiple victims have come forward each time with more and more egregious corroborating stories. This doesn't stop dick pics. Catcalling "should be considered a compliment." About 60% of sexual assaults are even reported, let alone someone being held accountable for a crime. A victim is a victim, no matter the sex, gender identity, race, age, relationship to someone, etc.
So why didn't she tell anyone? What were you wearing? Why are you only now coming forward? Why didn't
Stop.
It's not why didn't they....fill in the blank.
It should be:
Why did the assaulter feel it was their right in the first place?     

Another

Another mass shooting domestic terrorism.
Another lone wolf  white male.
Another toxic masculinity mental health status question
Another assault riffle weapon of mass destruction.
Another "senseless" tragedy easy access to guns partial explanation.
Another cry for fruitless attempt at stronger gun laws.
Another "but not all/good gun owners" defense absolving responsibility.
Another minuscule blip in the NRA's rhetoric set of victims.
Another suspiciously quiet restrategizing from NRA lobbyists 
Another round of thoughts and prayers inaction.
Another round of finger pointing.
Another search for a silver bullet.
Another heartbreak.
Another family destroyed.
Another. Another. Another.

Wrong

What the ever loving hell is WRONG with the president? That man-child is:

• Stupid
• Ignorant
• Ugly (auto-disqualification for women-attack on looks) 
• Fat (another auto disqualification)
• Has absolutely zero empathy
• Insensitive
• Unaware
• Entitled
• Notoriously thin skinned
• An aggressive bully
• Xenophobe (that's a big word for racist so he might understand)
• Misogynist (another big word for women-hating*)  
• A sexual assaulter**
• A total creepster***
• Narcissistic
• Impulsive 
• Reckless
• Shallow
• A hypocrite

That cheeto is bat. shit. crazy. and has the nuclear codes. We're so fucked.

*except the daughter he'd date****
**but only models
***he called his daughter a piece of ass and would date her. 
****fucking creepster

Color Privilege

My daughter was handing me crayons and I was naming the colors for her along with my own little adages for context. For example:
Pink: this is mommy's favorite color.
Green: you're sitting on your green chair.
White: the color of privilege

Yup.
Because white people, white men, rich white men in particular, can be some stupid ass fools and do whatever they want (especially racist, sexist and ignorant what they want) and the rest of get to suffer the consequences. Because you know the white men aren't going to.

Yes, I know. Not all white people. Not all men. But lets review a few recent instances when white male privilege was totally a thing:

• Brock Turner (one of the whitest names I've ever heard btw) rapes an unconscious woman. Judge worries about the harm jail will have on him and not the victim of the crime he did. 
• Timothy McVeigh, Dylan Roof, and James Holmes are American terrorists, but lets talk about the mental help they should have received and not the victims they killed.
• The asshole in chief takes a "break" from his 18 day vacation from his own golf club to do part of the job he holds that he will never be qualified for. And he's going to start a nuclear war with N. Korea safe in his tacky gold leaf bunker while the rest of us grow radiation tails as we die a slow painful death in nuclear winter. 

But please, tell me again how white privilege isn't a thing.

Not Surprised

I'm not surprised at the tragedy of Charlottesville. 

Angry about it? Yes. 

Disgusted with all things white supremacists? Absolutely. 

Frustratingly sad and overall appalled? You better believe it. 

But surprised? No. 

This powder keg has been on a slow burn since king deplorable announced his candidacy. And I don't think Charlottesville is going to change a thing. There's going to be another rally. There's going to be more injuries. There will probably be more deaths. The orange asshole will condone by refusing to condemn. There will be public outrage. There will definitely be twitter shaming. But change? Probably not. 

That's fucking terrifying 

High Road / Low Road

When they go low, we go high. Yes, yes, lovely sentiment.
I get that there is dignity in the high road...

But who's getting elected for the most part?
Who's writing healthcare laws for everyone behind the no girls allowed secret clubhouse Senate doors? (hint: no one suffering from the pre-existing condition "women" or "not-white")

And look who's in the Oval Office. That ass did not get there via the high road. He didn't even try a nicety shortcut here and there. He frolicked on the low road and is now lapping up the flattery of the deplorables.      

So yeah, the low road won, and took out most of the high road too. The low road gang gets the chance to do something, anything, because they are the majority.  A lot of good dignity does when you aren't even allowed on the playing field.

So f*ck going high. Go low. Fight dirty. Be UGLY. And stop time going backwards.

Dirty Words

My toddler mimics everything she hears. The words, the inflection, any sound effects (and we do a lot of sound effects), everything. All it takes is for one dirty word to slip out and next thing you know the kid's dropping F-bombs and calling people assholes (but if I'm being honest I will probably lose it because that would be hilarious). In other words, we have to watch our language now.  

You know what isn't a dirty word though? Compromise.

I'm tired of this zero sum game politics have become and scared the omnipresent vitriol will continue to hurt more and more people like yesterday. One of these days the people hurt could be me, my loved ones, even you. You honestly never, ever know.  When did everything become so black and white? How did disagreement become the insurmountable divide?

And one more thing sorta related to sides: when you don't say anything because you know it's not politically correct. That? Is not correct. "It" is politically correct now because at some point "it" was racist, or sexist, or any other outdated way of speech. Stop those dirty words too.  

Hair Trigger

Republican senators and their staff were shot at with a semi-automatic weapon.
Across the country - literally across the country- in San Francisco two victims and the gunman are dead from a shooting at the same time.
And in Georgia there's a man hunt has been going on for over 24 hours for two inmates who escaped by shooting their correction officers with the officers' own weapons.

HOW.
MANY.
MORE.
SHOOTINGS.
UNTIL.
REAL.
GUN.
CONTROL?