Tuesday, August 18, 2015


The other day at work "the walmart baby" story/movie came up in conversation and my coworkers, who are 21 and 23, were genuinely confused. How was this story even possible? Was it true? (no, but the movie was based on a work of fiction) How did she give birth at walmart? How come security or the camera's catch her at night? How was she able to even hide in the store in the first place? I've seen the movie but it had been a while, so I called upon my trusty sidekick the internets to fill in the the holes in my memory (that's how I found out it was based on a book). 

coworker 1: How was she able to hide in the first place? 
me: on accident at first. She's in the bathroom at closing time and when she comes out the staff has all left. After that first night she repeats the process and keeps a running tab of what she owes walmart for using.
coworker 1: Why didn't they check the bathrooms?
me: I don't know those logistics. I'm just telling you the plot. 
coworker 2: Why didn't security find her? Or at least a camera?
me: I don't know, they must not have needed security or cameras after closing.
both: Closing time? When did walmart close?
me: The movie came out in 2000. I saw it in the theater the summer I graduated high school.
coworker 1: I was...maybe 9 in 2000.
coworker 2: I think I was in 6th grade in 2000.
me::sigh:: Oh you dear children, back in my day in 2000, this was possible. Believe it or not, in 2000, not all walmarts were 24 hours.
both: GASP!

Monday, August 17, 2015


I've been using the more grammatically correct (at least I think it's more grammatically correct) term of "they" rather than "he/she/it" when referencing my baby. It's just something I've said whenever referring to the baby even before we didn't find out the sex. But whenever I say "they" people ask if I'm having twins. I explain no, I just don't know what they are, I'm not about to say "it" and now it's just habit. And I figure, it's only 15 more weeks (OMG just 15?) so while I still have to explain, it won't be for much longer. (seriously, only 15 more weeks?)

Well I had a doctor's appointment on Friday and my doctor was running a little late. When she arrives at the office she jumps right into work like the pro that she is, but I understand it can take some time to orient yourself after rushing from one thing to another. So she asks me how I'm doing/feeling (she has a great bedside manner btw) and I say something along the lines of pretty good, bla bla bla, they're really kicking and moving in there now.
She's about to check on them with this heartbeat-movement-hearer-thing and says "and you're having twins right?"
I, of course, handle this like a grown up and freak-the-f*ck-out. Because OMG, twins? Dr soc and I are in shock stammering emphatic nos and that all our ultrasounds have found only baby in my tummy.
My doctor by this point is laughing and remembers that no, it is just one baby, but she wonders why she thought twins (once again, OMG) for a minute there. I say it was probably due to me saying they since we don't know the sex of the baby and I don't want to say it, so it's my fault for the confusion.

But ok, I have got to stop referring to baby as "they" from now on. I'm confusing my doctor, who I hope to god knows a lot more than me and doesn't need to be confused.
They kicked in agreement.

Saturday, August 15, 2015


Currently I'm growing a human. So my figure is changing.
Dr Soc is training for a half-marathon in October. So his figure is changing too.

Dr soc~excitedly~: My (hip bone) lines are coming back!
me~less than thrilled~: Yeah, mine aren't.

Thursday, August 6, 2015

Orphan socks

The other day I was folding several loads of laundry and I had no, I repeat, NO orphan socks. Every single pair had a buddy.
Major life achievement unlocked!

Sunday, August 2, 2015

Belly Button

I don't know if your belly button popping out is one of those happens to everyone pregnancy things. I've got a notion that it'll happen to me though. I've noticed that as my tummy has been getting bigger my normal innie belly button has started to become...shallower.
But right now I still have an innie. Sorta. And by sorta I mean it's still a little concave in some parts. It's not full outie, and maybe it will stay the way it is now... So I guess right now it's a...flatie?