Monday, December 30, 2013

Girl's Best Friend

My niece on my husband's side is 15 months old and she's starting to talk, but she isn't so much into the walking yet. Her main mode of getting from point A to point B is to scoot super fast on her butt, but sometimes she grapples along side a piece of furniture.

Well, over Christmas she and I were playing and we both had out hands on the coffee table. She grabs the center stone/halo part of my engagement ring because it has a high profile. Knowing she can't get it into her mouth (because that would involve removing it from my cold dead hand), I pull my hand away, show her my ring and say:
me: Look Ella! This is a diamond!
Ella: OoooOoooo!

Diamonds are a girl's best friend!  

Saturday, December 21, 2013

Face Palm

I was at the desk at work when story time let out, and a mom approached the desk. She and her family had just move to the area and wanted to know what she needed to get a library card. I informed her that I would need a photo id and proof that she lives in the county, so a lease, a piece of mail, etc. She didn't have anything with their Charlotte address on her at that moment, so I couldn't get her a card. She was quite understanding and said she would bring in something next time she came in, no big deal.

Her son though (who was about 4), was really, really hoping to check out a book. So when his mom told him they couldn't today because she didn't have the paper they needed, he was very upset. Because his reaction?


He facepalms!
And then big fat sloppy tears start rolling from his eyes and he is inconsolable. I know I shouldn't have, but I  jut had to bite my lip to stop giggling at the kid's reaction.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

Take Out Part 2

Back in July we gave our kitchen a facelift by changing the counter top color and putting in a tile back splash. I posted pictures of my "new" kitchen here, but we knew we weren't done quite yet.
We painted. We put "art" up, on the walls and on top of the cabinets. I made curtains! (major craft points for me!) And though you can't see this part I put new shelf pins in most of the cabinets so I can easily change the shelves heights and use my cupboards much more efficiently. (expect the Tupperware cabinet, the bane of every organizers existence. I hate my Tupperware cabinet). All those changes were a pretty big task combined, so we figured we were done with the kitchen for the moment.

Except.

I got it in my head that I wanted a new kitchen table. Well, ok, not exactly. I started pushing/really looking for a new kitchen table set is what really happened. See, for most of my adult life. I've wanted a real, vintage Formica kitchen table set. The kind that was built in the 1950's and made to last. But dr soc didn't see the need to get a new table set since we had a perfectly functional one already, he thought a retro table wouldn't really go with our old red kitchen, and he likes things new shiny (except his wife, that he has to like even old and busted), so vintage isn't his ideal look. But we were going for a somewhat retro look in the kitchen facelift, so now a retro table look wasn't a look out of left field for him. Plus, I knew we would have to change the counter top height table to a standard size table once we have kids.

Because a counter-top height table requires higher chairs, and if my kids are anything like me not only will they want to climb* things, they will also want to jump off said things and/or fall off said things. And that's long way for a little kid to fall, plus having to help them get in and out of a chair every. single. time they need to sit at the table is going to get really old, really fast.  And we can't use the higher chairs with any other table in our house.

So...it really was only natural that we get a new kitchen table set that we were totally planing on getting anyway at some point and one to match our pretty new kitchen! So I give you:
Our Christmas present to ourselves!
 
Also pictured**: the curtains I made and some of the aforementioned "art."

*Still do.  And squeal "and I go WEEEEE!!!!!" while leaping.
** not pictured: me giggling and clapping and squealing with absolute delight over how much I love this table.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Den Mom

So I never saw this coming, but I really love NFL football. Growing up in Kentucky we only have one sport, (UK basketball), and even when I lived in Cincinnati I really just didn't care about the bengals. But when I moved to Charlotte, I decided I would be become a Panthers superfan, because I figured my (eventual-to-be) husband is a die hard Browns fan so I would be watching football anyway, I may as well cheer for the local team.
Turns out, I love the Panthers. Even when I first moved here we weren't that great (we had first pick in the draft! Wait.), I decided to be loyal. And I just adore our first round pick from last year, the young man Luke Kuechly. After Luke had a monster game, I decided I just loved him.  

However, the way I love him is like a momma lioness loves her cubs. He can stay in my spare bedroom, I'd tuck him in at night, and I'd make all his favorite foods (his NFL salary can cover the grocery bill it takes to feed a linebacker). And then I realized I had crossed yet another threshold into adulthood. Because my first thought was not: "I could be his girlfriend," it was: "I want to take care of him and make lunch." 

Monday, December 9, 2013

Lonley Goatherd

me: You're such a dork!
mike: Yep. That's why we work.
me: True. But you're still a dork.
mike: Says the girl who was bouncing around yodeling* the other day.
me: Hey now, I wasn't bouncing, I was prancing.
mike: Fine. But you were still yodeling.
me: Yes. "She yodeled off to the lonely goatherd, lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo!" **
mike: Dork.
me: Yep. Hi kettle, it's pot!

*Sound of Music Live. Of all the songs you have to admit that when you sing you just can't help but be silly and prance around.***
** There was spinning and prancing here too.
***Oh, just me?

Saturday, November 2, 2013

Coupon Queen

mike: I got some coupons from the oil change place for all the stuff that I did for my car. So if you need them in the next few months they're yours.
me: Thanks.
mike: I couldn't use them on anything I did today. So the guy said I could give them to my family, or my girlfriend. I guess he didn't see my ring!
me: Ha! Guess not. Though I have to say if you did give your girlfriend coupons I would be pissed.
mike: I bet.
me: And not about the girlfriend part. Well, ok, yeah, some of that would be that you have a girlfriend. But no, I'd be more pissed ab-
mike: About the coupons?
me: Yes! Exactly! You have a girlfriend and you give her coupons?  Low man.
mike: They were coupons for lunchables, You know, stuff you don't like.
me: -snort- Well if those are the coupons you gave her, then hahaha!. Because that means your dating a girl that eats lunchables and those hurt, when you know your wife has got it going on in the kitchen.
mike: Hahaha, true! 

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Helpful

My husband and I met our niece 2 weeks ago and she's absolutely perfect! She's little and snugly and I never wanted to put her down. But as much as I wanted to do nothing but hold and stare at the baby, I also wanted to help as much as a I could while there. So I cooked for 6 people (my parents were there at the same time). Or at the very least picked up fast food lunch for everyone. I went to the grocery store for some supplies and picked up some special tea for my sister. I learned how to change her cloth diapers (fortunately for me none of the ones I changed were gross poopy ones!). But what I didn't expect to do was help with the nighttime feedings. Baby and mommy were having a hard time getting the hang of nursing, so baby had lost enough weight that she needed to feed every 2 hours and to supplement with formula if she didn't latch on.

The night we flew in my sister had 4 guests in her home, her husband is working through that particular night, a baby that needs to eat but is having a hard time, and she's getting about 4 hours total of broken sleep. My poor little sister was just exhausted and stressed. As I listened to her talk about the difficulties of feedings,without a second thought I offered to help with them through the night. While I couldn't do anything with the actual nursing, I could get the supplemental bottle ready while she tried to start nursing, and I could wash anything that needed to be washed so Amy might be able to get a few more minutes of sleep. If nothing else, I could just be company. She did try to give me an out by warning me that it really was every 2 hours, but I was there to meet the baby and to help in any way that I could. So she took me up on my offer, and the look of relief on her face made me happy.

Oh god it was exhausting! I got up at 2, 4, 5 and 7am, got a bottle ready, brought the baby to Amy, fed and burped her if she didn't nurse, and then washed everything afterwards. And I only did this for one full  night! The next night I helped with the 2am, but daddy took over the 5am. I can't imagine how difficult this is every night. But as tired as I was, I wouldn't have changed a thing. And I'm not telling this story for a ticker tape parade and I'm not looking for anyone to give me praise. But it felt so good to help. That's all. It was nice nice to help.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Weirdo

While we were at my sister's meeting my niece, I tried to help out as much as I could by getting up for feedings and making a couple meals. I figure my sister has enough on her plate with a newborn, she didn't need to worry about being hostess to us and my parents on top of that.
Anyway. By making a couple meals, I mean one night I put 3 frozen pizzas in the over and called it dinner.  But I did have to go to the grocery store for those and some other ingredients, and I grabbed a gallon apple cider because that happens to be a weakness of mine. As we were getting dinner ready, Mike helped out by getting everyone something to drink.

me: Hey everyone, dinner will be ready soon. The pizza will be done in just a few more minutes.
mike: Ok thanks. What would everyone like to drink? I'm going to have water, Sarah, do you want one too?
me: Sure. Oh wait, no, I'll have cider.
mike: Cider with pizza?
me: Yeah. Did you want any?
mike: Nah, I think cider and pizza may be a weird combination. 
me: Suit yourself.
mike: What would everyone else like? Carolyn?
mom: I'll have cider too.
mike: Ok.... Steve?
dad: Cider.
mike: ok....Amy?
amy: I'll have cider, thanks!
me: See? Still think it's weird?
mike: Yeah, kinda. Maybe just your family. Grant will back me up on this, he married in, like me.
me: Uh-huh. Grant what would you like to drink?
grant: I'll have cider.
me: Hahahahaha! Now you're the odd man out, what with your pizza and water combination.
mike: Dammit.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

Ren Fest

Y'all I went to my first Renaissance Festival 2 weeks ago, and I was ridiculously exited about it. I mean, epic people watching, all kinds of food on sticks, , crap crafts and jousting?! What's not to like? We had a buy one get one free admission ticket, so I figured what the hell, lets go check it out.  And I'm glad we had the coupon because $44 for 2 people to drive a half hour to pretty much people watch is a bit much for my preferences, but $22 for the both of us to do the same thing and call each other wench in public is more justifiable. You pretty much have to pay if you want to actually do anything. I expected to pay for food and any sort of artisan crap you want to buy, but $3-$5 to toss an axe at a target, shoot a cross bow with no fabulous prizes or for your kid ride the barfing boat? Nah.

But it was fun walking around outside and people watching. We skipped most of the food since it was a pretty hot afternoon and a flask of hot cider or gnawing a roasted turkey leg didn't have the same appeal as fair food usually does for me. There was way too much incense wafting from every artisan booth for my olfactory sense, but if we're being honest, pretty much any incense is too much for my tastes. And when did pirates become a Ren-Fest thing? I figured there would be a lot of corsets and leather wearing for those die hard fans, but Johnny Depp style pirates are not one of the first things that come to mind when I hear ren fest. But I guess with all the bawdy jokes, the amount of cleavage on display and the possibility of a nip slip at every turn, the pirates figured they wouldn't raise too many eyebrows. 

I would go back with friends to judge people, and only if we had a coupon. But all in all, it was a fun time. Huzzah!

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Family Tree

My sister had her baby!
On Sunday September 29 2013, 4:16 pm, an 8 lbs 1 oz, healthy, perfect, beautiful baby girl joined my family and made my sister a mommy!!!!

To say I'm thrilled is an understatement. My heart just burst with love when I saw her picture. Mike and I "met" her via face-time the day after she was born and we meet her in person next weekend. I told my mom that she would have to fight me on holding the baby since I have no other plans for that weekend except to hold and stare at her. However when my husband heard that he said "what about me? I want to hold her too!" So I agreed to give him an hour or so because I love him.

I'm just excited. And happy to be an aunt (again). And thrilled that my family tree has gotten a little bigger.
Congratulations Amy! Thank you so much for making us an aunt and uncle!

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Sorry Bambi

First things first: I am OK.
Second: I hit a deer on my way home from work last night and now my car is in the shop.
Third: My rental car is a 2014 jeep and I like it!

Last night I was driving home from work when I saw a deer in the road. Though I was able to slow down a little bit I was still probably going 45-50 mph (speed limits mean crap here in NC, you go 5 under or 15 over the posted limit), and I also didn't really have room to swerve one way or the other with other cars around me and the median on one side of me. I wasn't really sure what to do in that split second I saw the deer and then it started to run across my lane and bam!  

So technically, the deer hit me.  

But I was not hurt. At ALL. I was wearing my seat belt (I always wear my seat belt) and the damage to my car is only body work and it was on the passenger side. I didn't run over the deer, I didn't blow a tire, or break a wheel, or have to pull over, though I was on high alert just praying to get home. Once I got there I got out of my car and fully realized that I was physically fine, though I was pretty shaken up. Mike and I took a closer look at the damage after dinner, called my insurance and got the claim started right away. This morning we took Cam to the shop, and picked up my rental car so I can get to work for the next few days. I was actually pretty tickled at the car I got, I've sorta always wanted a jeep, and it doesn't feel like I'm driving a tank, so now I want one (fuel efficiently be damned, Sarah wants a SUV! (and then I had to get gas on my way home because the 1/4 tank the rental place started me with lasted about 50 miles))!

But I know despite the circumstance, I was incredibly lucky. The deer could have hit the driver's side or gone through my windshield, or both. The damage could have been so much worse, it could have involved other cars, and I could have gotten hurt. But this is what insurance is for, I have a husband to help out, I walked away without a scratch, and I have a sweet new ride for the next few days..

I was so lucky. Sorry Bambi....

Friday, August 23, 2013

Not a Puppy

Scene: Wee-hours of the workday morning, my coworker opens the last delivery bin.
M: No!!!  No!!!!
me (from across the room): Now, Marissa, you can't yell at the books, they aren't a puppy. Scolding won't do anything.
M: --snort-- You look, you'll see.
--I look, and see a bunch of books on disc that we don't have room for on our shelves--
me: NO!!!!

Thursday, August 22, 2013

Young Love

When I saw the cover for the Hunter Hayes's album, I thought, oh look how young he is! Yes, I know I don't look like I'm in my early thirties, but he's 21 so he really is young, whereas I just look young. (I just realized I'm 10 years older than him).

Anyway, he's adorable. But he is definitely young, and his lyrics reflect that.
One of the lines from his new (catchy, if you ask me) single is:    

Hunter Hayes: I don't want easy, I want crazy.

Aww, that silly young boy in love. Because only young love wants crazy. Or at least is willing to deal with it. Because after you hit a certain age, "crazy" becomes: so not putting up with that sh*t.

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Pot Calling the Kettle Black

I was in my happy place Target the other night when I saw a woman breastfeeding. Which I have no problem with and after reading enough reddit stories of some passerby being upset by a boob sighting, the nursing mom defending her choice and having a nurse-ins, declaring anyone offended by breastfeeding anti-family, etc, I know that the law is pretty much on woman's side (for once) and that she can breastfeed whenever and wherever she see fit. Personally, I would prefer that a little discretion and some sort of cover is used, but I think a little discretion is a good thing in most cases in general.

Anyway, this woman was walking down the aisle, the baby strapped into some sort of carrier nursing away. While there wasn't a nip-slip due to the her shirt covering one and the baby's mouth covering the other, there was a lot of her shirt pulled up in general. I was a little startled and may have raised my eyebrows by the copious amount of stomach/top/and side boob exposed at first glance, but whatever. The nursing girl had a few other people shopping with her, 2 other women and a girl toddler no more than 18 months old. The toddler is trying to keep up as fast as her little legs can carry her and playing with the hem of her shirt at the same time. But they all passed by, rounded the corner and I continued shopping.

Then I hear from the next aisle over (directed at the toddler): "Pull your shirt down!

Which, wasn't that a little pot calling the kettle black? Oh well. 

Sunday, August 4, 2013

Sign of the Times

When I woke up yesterday morning, the left side of my neck and shoulder were really bothering me. My run the day before hadn't been the easiest, but it was just this one spot and the rest of me didn't hurt, I figured I had just slept on it wrong and that it would work itself out on it's own as the day progressed.

Except, it didn't.

Later in the afternoon my shoulder/neck was still bothering me and I didn't have my full range of motion, despite using a heating pad and taking an ibuprofen.  And then I remembered. I am 31, and things hurt for longer now. It's still bothering me this morning too actually. Sigh, to be the nubile young thing that could wrench her shoulder out of its socket and to be able to brush it of as nothing like in my days of yore. (ok, that never happened, that sounds incredibly painful no matter what age, but you get my point.) There will be no more "work itself out 'on it's own'," and even the working it out part requires some assistance.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Take Out

We have been eating a LOT of takeout the past month. I haven't been able to really cook that much in there the past 2 1/2 weeks, because it looked like this:
FYI: this is the cleanest my counter tops will ever be
Seriously, they will never have nothing on them ever again. It's scientifically impossible for me to not put something on them


Ok, my kitchen's looks actually have nothing to do with why I couldn't cook. But we did this:

Rustoleum counter top transformations- mid transformation


To make our counter tops look like this:

Look how shiny!


and we couldn't really use the counter tops for a week while the top epoxy coat dried. It was fully set for full use just in time to add the pretty tile back splash I've been wanting to do since before I moved to Charlotte:

It has a real 1950's retro* look we both like


So now my kitchen looks like THIS!!
new colored counter tops AND a shiny new back splash?!

Look how pretty! And see? I told you it's impossible to not put things on my counter tops.
I can't wait to cook again in my "new" kitchen! 

*This may be a way to sell hubby on a retro Formica dining set, something I've always liked but he was never too keen on the idea. But when you have a retro style tile, he can feel the retro table set... Now to just find one that isn't a thousand million dollars....

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Feivel Goes West

Fourth of July we decided to be patriotic and grill like all the other houses in our neighborhood were doing. Mike went outside to preheat the grill as I was prepping everything, when he comes back inside to tell me:

mike: Well, I cannot light the grill right now because, and this is something I never thought I would say. Actually, just guess, do you have any idea?
me: Is something wrong with the grill? I mean, other than that I can't think of anything else.
mike: No, the grill's fine. I cannot light it because --pause for dramatic effect-- I just saw a mouse run in there.

--I stare at him to make sure he's not just making shit up. Then I realize that's way too oddly specific to be made up, and I don't think he's that good of an on the spot story teller so if he didn't want to grill he would just say so. So there really is a mouse in my his grill. Ewww.--

me: Ewww! You're right though that is something I never would have eve imagined either. Now what do we do?

I call upon my trusty sidekick (to the internets!) and turns out that mice in grills are not super uncommon because it's a dry place they can nest. I want to start cooking, but neither one of us is willing to just turn on the flames and risk essence of mouse. And we want to disinfect the hell out that thing and all it's parts too before either one of us feels comfortable putting any sort of food on there. So Mike is taking the pieces out and I'm just about to pour the vinegar/water/soap mixture (an internets concoction) all over the grill when the mouse runs out and across the concrete slab the builder thought was an acceptable thing to call a a patio* and disappears into the grass.

Startled, I scream bloody murder. Due in part because OMG I have just seen a MOUSE run out of my grill!!! And also omg I just saw a mouse run out of my his grill across my patio over there and I'm not wearing shoes.**

So now Mike is on his own to take care of all the man things outside, clean and disinfect the grill, and laugh at his wife who flew into the kitchen and is currently jumping and flapping around in wayward circles still freaking the fck out. Needless to say, I made dinner in the over that night. And wore my rain boots that go up to my knees the next time I went outside.  

*it's not
**What can I say, I grew up in Kentucky.***
***Nope. No brothers.****
****EWWWW!!!!!

Sunday, July 14, 2013

Young Pup

One of my coworkers is very young. Nineteen young. And here is proof of this:

Laura: Have you been to that music shop down the street?
me: No, I haven't. But I'm not really a music buyer in general though.
Laura: they have other stuff there too, a lot of movies. And they have something called...I think it's vee-nall?
me: Vee-nal? --beat-- Wait. Do mean vinyl?
Laura: yeah! those big black disc right?
me: oh. my. god. you are so young you didn't know hot to pronounce vinyl.

And with that, I turn 31. Yep.
Happy birthday to me!!

Saturday, June 29, 2013

Saying Goodbye

For my best friend
From the Muppets Take Manhattan. 

Saying goodbye, going away
Seems like goodbye's such a hard thing to say.
Touching a hand paw, wondering why
It's time for saying goodbye

Saying goodbye, why is it sad?

Makes us remember the good times we've had
Much more to say, foolish to try
 It's time for saying goodbye

Don't want to leave, but we both know
Sometimes it's better to go

Somehow I know we'll meet again

Not sure quite where, and I don't know just when

You're in my heart, so until then

Wanna smile, 
Wanna cry
Saying goodbye
La la la, la la la la la


It's time for saying goodbye

Goodbye my dearest, dearest Bailey. Thank you for being my best friend the past 6 years. Thank you for your unconditional love, fierce loyalty and unwavering support. I'll never forget you and I will always miss you. I know you'll love and take care of your new family as much as you did me.  
I love you, forever. Goodbye my Bailey. Goodbye.
I love you too Momma. I love you too.

Saturday, June 15, 2013

Guess Who

My husband and I have names picked out for our future children. Because, well, of course we do. And while we know this is very much putting the cart before the horse, it's still fun to toss out names and speculate every now and again. After all, who knows what names we'll like when the time comes. And for all we know, we'll have a name picked out, meet the little one and they just won't be that name.

But anyway, one of the current trends in baby naming is a name from 2 generations back, so grandma and grandpa's names. And since we like the trendy* names, we have quite the selection from our grandparents: Emil, Otho, and Edna. But if none of those work, I can always look on the family tree, my grandmother's siblings were: Ray, Gladys, Ola, Elbe, Helen and Elaine.

But I do like the idea of naming my family after family. So while Edna Ola may not be the right combination for Sharktopus's legal name, the name Amy is on my list of possibilities. Mike's pretty neutral on the name, he's not all about it, but he's not against it either. It's just a maybe, one day, something to consider possibility. Which is fine, because really, who knows? But at least he knows who the name belongs to and that it isn't out of left field.

Some other people, not so much. Because when I tossed out the family name Amy to my ex his reaction was "who's Amy?"

Yep. He didn't remember my sister's name even when we were engaged. Then again, my family was always an afterthought or a figment of my imagination to him, so not remembering my sister's name was pretty par for the course.  Dodged a bullet there.

*Both the names we like are in the top 10. We're so trendy.

Thursday, June 6, 2013

40,000 Questions

Our house is less than 3 years old and it has no character. Which I guess if I hadn't sold my soul to design school and gone through hell I wouldn't really even know that, let alone care. But I did go to interior design school. So I do care that my house has no character.

So I have ideas. (Mainly fueled by pintrest. I need to stop looking at pintrest.) Nothing huge or a complete renovations. Just little things to make the house a little less...half-assed "designed" and a little more I actually live here.  Like putting hardware on the kitchen cabinets, framing the bathroom mirrors for a more done look, covering the concrete slab "patio," coat hooks were we have no coat closet, and hanging a lamp in a spot that desperately needs it. Stuff that takes some, but not a whole lot of planning, but is totally DIY.  

Except. Not everyone is a diy kind of person. So for every idea that I have, there are 40,000 questions accompanied by 40,000 hesitations. So diy becomes BFD to the point that it's just not worth it to me anymore. So all those ideas, even the little ones that flit by and make me happy at the possibility, become this disappointment the moment they become impossible tasks.  If I could just stop having ideas in the first place, I could just stop being so disheartened by them not happening. I wouldn't be reduced to tears over something as innocuous as plugging in a lamp. And I wouldn't be stuck with a pretty lamp shade I'll never get to use as a reminder either. 

But at least the whole house is painted now. Even though I get majorly annoyed over picking paint colors in general and picking a color is a bfd and I gave a rat's ass about the timeline, at least my characterless house has color. It's not really a consolation prize, but I'll try to take it as a win. 

Sometimes I really hate that I went to design school.

Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Apron Time

My in-laws were visiting over the last few days, and I had the time so I prepared a few meals while they were here so as not to have to eat out 4 days in a row. I'm by no means a chef, but I can and like to cook and I have a lot of cookbooks. And over time I've grasped more and more on how things come together and my skills and cooking have improved to the point that the task of cooking for someone (or a group) doesn't seem as daunting as it once was. (Thanksgiving circa 2011).

As soon as I moved to Charlotte the kitchen became mine. My husband is good sport and will at least try everything too. (I've only made 2 completely inedible things so far: lemon kale and salt loaf) He's also a fairly smart man and compliments my cooking, enough that I actually believe he really does like my cooking.

But my favorite thing he's ever said about my cooking was said shortly after I moved in. He was coming back downstairs after changing out of his work clothes, just as I was about to start making dinner so I was putting on my apron. He sees me to that and excitedly says "it's apron time!" Apparently good things happen when it's apron time. :)

Wednesday, May 29, 2013

Brotherly Love

cashier: Oh wow, you two look so much alike. You must be siblings.
me: Nope. We're husband and wife though. So that's not creepy.
cashier: Oh, uh. Well, they say significant others start to look more and more alike as time goes on...
me: So they say.  

Maybe it was due to the fact that we both have dark hair and that Mike was wearing his glasses at the time that the guy thought we looked alike. We've heard the sibling comparison once before. I've heard the look alike over time thing too, but really, it's just on the icky side of things no matter when you hear it.  

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

Good Things

Good news!
I accepted a full time library position yesterday! Full time! With vacation and sick time! And benefits! I finally, finally have a grown up job! (I may have jumped up and down while giggling and clapped my hands like a seal after accepting, so acting like a grown up, not so much. But that doesn't make my job any less grown up, just the person who has it now. Suckers!)  

And in other good, but sad to me news, I found a new family for Bailey. Someone my sister works with is going to adopt my girl and Bailey's new family is super super excited. So even though my heart is breaking over losing her, I am happy that she'll be happy and that her new family is happy to have her. It's the best possible outcome for such a sucky (for me) situation.

So. Good things. Yeah. Good things.

Saturday, May 18, 2013

Hot Streak

So, I'm pretty used to be totally wrong on selecting a winner or calling something. So when it came time for my people to have babies, I would always predict one and it was always the other.  

BUT!

I was on a super hot streak for a while there. Ever since I was right that my friends' first would be a girl, I've been able to call future babies boy or girl. (Mike likes to point out that it's a 50/50 shot every time so the odds are really not in my favor, but whatever. He's just jealous of my skill. That and I may have said I thought we're going to have 2 girls and little girls scare him).

I was 100% convinced my friend would have a girl. Her son was born earlier this month.
And I ever since my sister told me she's pregnant I've been pretty damn sure a nephew is joining the family. We found out a few days ago it's a niece, surrounding my dad with even more women.

So oh well, my hot streak is over. But I've never been happier to be wrong though!

Thursday, May 16, 2013

OMG

My mom doesn't text. Granted, I don't text much either because I am the slowest texter ever. I have a dinosaur for a phone that can only do one thing at a time, so it (ok, me) can't keep up with rapid fire group messages, plus I insist on spelling everything out since I hate text talk with the exception of STD because that is hysterical.  Though I on occasion I use btw or fyi for brevity's sake, and sometimes things happen and the only thing that can be used to describe something is an OMG.   

Anyway. 

After seeing my sister and I use/play/facetime on our ipads, my mom hinted heavily that she would definitely want one when there were grandchildren. And since my sister is due in September (!!!), grandchildren are no longer an abstract thing. So for Mother's Day, Amy and I (and our husbands) got mom and ipad. It was scheduled to arrive the day after Mother's Day, and we didn't give her any hints, so she said she would email us when she received her present. Mom's email subject line when she opened the packaging slip? OMG!

Frankly I am just amused that my mom a) used OMG and b) even knew OMG in the first place!

Friday, May 10, 2013

Painted Into a Corner

Home improvement, my train of thought/ideas: install wainscoting, add tile, frame something, put up shelves, rip out a pointless counter, move the shower fixtures, remove the stupid tiny shower and turn it into a closet, the possibilities are endless! Oh, and I guess pick a paint color. Ugh (I hate picking out paint colors).
Home improvement, husband's train of thought/ideas: paint.

Well, husband is practically chomping at the bit to paint the upstairs/loft/2nd family room since it's the last area of the house to be painted. And this is turning into a much harder process than it needs to be somehow.

One part is that I can't decide on a color/look feel in general. I get an idea then change it. Gray one day, yellow the next. Then I gravitate towards orange. Then I want gray and orange. Then I want dark blue instead of orange, but only if it's gray and dark blue. Dark purple and gray. Back to yellow, and I want yellow and gray. Or yellow and dark purple. So on and so forth, and when I look at the paint samples I can't find what I imagined/want. Granted, I can't decide what I want in the first place, but I know what I have in front of me isn't it.

Another part of that is the two of us like different color schemes in general. I'm continuously drawn to deep jewel tones, rich saturated colors that are warm and inviting, and red and yellow based colors in general. I love color and I'm not afraid to use it  So I'm at one end of the paint aisle pulling paint chips of yellow and rose based neutrals, warm soft grays, and bright pops of color. And husband is continuously drawn to the muted dusty blues greens and tans at the other end of the paint aisle.

Another difficulty is he wants things to match, but at the same time he doesn't want everything to be the same either. Which, I'm not really sure what that is. I think it's more coordination and flow he's concerned over and not so much "matching." But I don't think my design concepts make sense to him so he continuously refers to that as matching. So my solution for things to "match" is a neutral overall with an accent wall (or walls). Yeah, that same accent that we can't agree on. And a neutral that he wants to match the neutral downstairs but is different enough from the existing builders' white but not too different so that it stands out either. Which...once again, I'm not really sure what that is.

How did picking a paint color become so complicated? Pretty much the only thing I'm sure of right now is that I still seriously hate picking out paint colors.

*Edited to add- May 11 2013 *
Yesterday we found a blue that was bright enough for me to like, and a light warm brown neutral that matches enough that he likes. We got some samples, liked what we saw on the wall and bought 4 gallons to finish up the house. Oh thank god! 

Thursday, May 9, 2013

Nothing to Report

The way I found my dog trainer is that I work with her mom. So on occasion Jamie will call the desk looking for her mom and we'll chat for a few minutes about the dogs. And right now, there's nothing to report. They are getting along fine. They don't play together, but since Mike tenses up and expects the worst to happen if they get close to each other they don't get the chance to play even if they wanted. But right now, they're just there, co-existing in the same house. They're not challenging each other, resource guarding or jockeying for the dominate position. They're just, there. They're just being. They go to "place," they walk on their pinch collars. They "sit" and "down" on command, and if they don't on command they get a pop with the pinch collar until they do. Usually reaching for the leash to pop is enough to get a compliance, but Jules still occasionally throws a fit if you correct her. Stubborn little ass that she can be though, she's no match for my bitter determination. The other day I even took them both for a short walk by myself. And nothing happened. There's really nothing to report.

And I almost hate that because it makes giving up my best friend Bailey seem that much more ridiculous and this heartache that much more unnecessary. But what does that matter? It doesn't lessen my grief in any way, turns out it exacerbates it. The one thing I want most of all there's no hope for. Which is why I'm so defeated and don't have the strength to fight for her anymore. It's the giving up on a nothing to report perfectly normal nothing extraordinary (but extraordinary to me) dog that hurts most of all. 

Tuesday, May 7, 2013

How Things Change

Relationships in your early/mid 20's are different in a few ways than relationships in your late 20's/30's. Dr soc has never been one of those untrusting annoying guys who has ever asked me if I have taken my birth control. Because no, the crux of that issue is that a guy who doesn't trust me, especially on that, is an asshole and I'm not going to put up with that sh*t. Not to mention that I've always been really really good about taking it. And even though my baby fever has sky rocketed to extreme heights and dr soc and I are planning on having a family in the not so far off future, he still doesn't ask that. Which, good. Because seriously, I won't put up with that sh*t.

What he does ask me about on occasion though, is if I have taken my lady vitamins (with folic acid so Sharktopus's spine has the best chance of developing just in case). But he has reason to do that because I am actually quite terrible at remembering to take those.

So I find this situation slightly ironic for both of us. Because here I am, chomping at the bit to have a baby, but I can't for the life of me remember to do something that would help that baby I want so much to be healthy. And there he is, not quite ready to have a baby just yet, but he's asking me to take something to help the baby's development just in case, not something to not have a baby.

How things have changed.    

Sunday, April 21, 2013

Teachable Moment

I can get annoyed like anyone else. And like most people, there are things that annoy me more so than others. Like: college students and people who think music is the end all be all are two things that annoy me easily. So the other day when a college student felt the need to enlighten me about his music preference superiority, my annoyance tolerance was shot to hell from the second the kid opens his mouth.

student: I would like to donate a book to you guys that I have because you don't have it.
me: Well we have a policy actually of not accepting book donations. But someone at the center desk over there can tell you who to talk to about collection development.
student: It's a biography. You guys have several other books on this subject, several copies of a few of them, but you don't have this particular one. This one is really important and you guys should have it.

I was only slightly annoyed that he didn't listen to me, but that's pretty much what happens all the time with the college students I see at work, so I wasn't going to get all bent out of shape over this. He was more offend that I didn't want his book than I was by him not listening. But then he kept talking and tried to explain to me why we needed to have this book

student: It's a biography on Duke Ellington. Like the most important jazz musician of all time. You guys really need this book, and I want to to give it to you because it's so important. Music is life, you know? It's my passion, the most important thing.

So here's where I went from slightly annoyed to completely annoyed. Because as we all know, I have heard, dealt with, and left the music is my passion and most important thing ever dude. I probably heard those words verbatim or close enough before. And music? Not the most important thing ever. I was in choir and marching band, I used to know how to read music and I definitely think music classes should remain in schools, but "having a passion" for music is a far cry from "making a living" off this nonsense. While I know there are professional musicians who do make a living from music, and I respect the time and talent it takes to get to that tier, it's still not the most important thing ever. And besides, just because you think something is the most important thing, doesn't make the rest of the world agree with you. And you certainly shouldn't be foisting your opinions on me or anyone for that matter. (Impartiality is part of being a librarian, and the ability to providing equal access to all sides of something. (OK, well a public library, I guess if I worked in a special library I could be a lot more judicious in what kind of access people get to particular subjects))

I know this student had no idea what he stepped into with that comment or that my particular background with another "music is my passion" would annoy the crap out of me. But I still wanted him to just go away and to take his opinions with him. But I realized I could make this a teachable moment and said:

me: Well, I think unicorns are important. And we don't have a lot of books on those here either.
student: Uh....but this is Duke Ellington. You know who he is right? That this is important!?
me: I've heard of him. Now, the center desk over there can tell you who to discuss collection development with. Have a good day.

OK, not the best teachable moment and the kid probably thinks I'm a kook. But at least it was a little snarky. I count that as a win.

Friday, April 12, 2013

Dogs Know

After seeing Bailey on the couch on one side of me, Jules came over (and after being invited) curled up on the other side of me. Having a dog on both sides use to make me melt and be so utterly happy with life. This time I just burst into tears.

Because dogs know. Dogs know who to respect, who they can boss around, who will let them get away with shit, who likes them, who doesn't, and who to suck up to. Dogs know.

Bailey knows that I love her and that will never change. But Bailey also respects me. Jules knows I don't care for her like I use to, but it doesn't really matter because she can get away with anything with everybody except the dog trainer. (Who Jules bit by the way, because the trainer dared to correct her.) I don't hate Jules, but I really don't want to like her either. I could care less about her misbehaving and even if she does I don't dare say anything out of fear of loosing my head.

And she knows that. Dogs know.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Home Improvements

So as a way of trying to distract myself from the factory of sadness stress and woe that is my life, I want to do something. (Or take a trip to escape for a while. But that involves time and extra money, two things that are lacking so not going to happen.) So by "something," I mean I want to make improvements and add character to my suburbia hoa-nazi regulated house. And I actually have the mindset and skills to do this due to my half degree in interior design. I can visualize and imagine and figure out how things will look and make it work.

Part of the not doing anything (but paint) is that I can't decide what I actually want to do. Yellow walls? Red walls? Subway tile? Pressed tin back splash? Bead board? With dark brown walls? Subway tile? Glass tile? Glass subway tile? With yellow walls? So. Many. Options. But one thing I've been wanting to do is since moving to Charlotte is have a kitchen back splash. So the other day we went to Home Depot and Lowes to see if they had any tile that we liked, and their selection is pretty limited. Once again, see: half degree in interior design. So I know that what they have on the shelves is not even remotely close to a wide tile selection. So to get the look that I'm thinking (for the moment), we'll probably have to special order. At the very least I need a sample just so I can get a better idea of what I'm dealing with. Which is fine.

My husband however, did not go to design school and lacks the skill to visualize a space and the skill of seeing a small sample (or picture. Or drawing. Seriously, I sketched an area of our house to get a basic idea of where I wanted a color and he couldn't visualize it. And this has nothing to do with my drawing skills either.) and figuring out how it will look in a larger scale. But that's ok because not everyone has that particular skill and if they did then there would be no need for designers in the first place. And I know that if he sees all the options he'll get really overwhelmed  just quit. (Which is why with wedding planning I did a lot of research on my own he had no idea about and then would present him with 3-4 choices.) In theory he's fine with going along with my ideas, he even likes most of them. But not before he asks a lot of questions in trying to do something outside his skill set. (Research, his skill set. Diy, my skill set) And he's very hesitant to do anything to the house without knowing what the finished product will look like and that he's sure he'll like it. Because you really don't want to redo something, I get it. But he can't really visualize something so he won't know if he'll like it until he sees the finished project...

At this rate and with the amount of extra money we have it looks like I'm not distracting myself with too much home improvement either. Sigh. Maybe I'll just read a book.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Lack of Silver Linings

I'm looking forward to some very bright spots in the next few months, mainly weddings and lots of babies (though none of them mine). I'm super excited about these. But they don't relate to any of the dark clouds in my life and won't do much to pull me out of the factory of sadness and woe I'm going through.

I'm stressed with school. I had to drop a class this semester because I couldn't keep up with the work. And on top of that I'm easily distracted from the work that I can keep up with. This semester ends soon, but a week after that I start summer classes that are even more fast paced and intense. And the week after summer classes I start fall with another very full, very stressful schedule that I have to get done in order to graduate by May 2014. I want to have a baby in 2014 but I don't want to have one when I'm trying to finish grad school. I mean, if happens it happens, people have babies/children while they are in school all the time and they make it work. And I'm not opposed to being pregnant that last few months of school, imagine how cute and happy I'd be waddling as I receive my masters. But I can barely keep up now and I've already deferred a semester before, and I know myself well enough that if a newborn is added into the mix I'll crumble due to me already being stretched too thin. And I cannot crumble when I'm a mom.

But having a baby means I'm going to need maternity care somewhat soon. And insurance companies don't start coverage right away and don't always pay for anything when you actually need it. So when I actually need maternity coverage in a few months, I need to add maternity care to the private plan that I have now. Except my private plan doesn't have that option, and there's only one semi-affordable private plan with a different company out there that does offer it. And the problem there is that the company that does offer maternity I already applied to right after I was married. They kept my info and approved me for coverage, but then they lost the application and froze my account, so I never actually received any coverage in general. And because of my frozen application, I can't apply with them again. Seriously, I tried. That was the reason I went with the company I'm with now. I could get a job that offers benefits, but those are really hard to get in general. And right now I work full time between two part time library jobs that I really really like and had a very very hard time even landing in the first place, and I don't want to leave either one. There was a small hiring frenzy for full time staff a month ago for one of the systems that I work for, and I was impressive enough to interview for 2 of the positions, but not impressive enough to actually get them. And now the rest of the full time positions that I applied for have been frozen, so there's no longer any opportunities to grow. I know how lucky I am to be where I am now, and I know it is incredibly ungrateful for me to feel stuck in a holding pattern.

But the darkest cloud I'm in is over loosing Bailey. Dreading isn't a strong enough word and I can't find the words to describe the amount of pain and hell I'm going through. I wish she was gone already so I didn't have to live like this. But what I really wish is that I could change the past and not saved her 5 years ago. I wish I had understood unconditional love and that I had the strength to let her go then. Even when Bailey is living happily ever after somewhere else, her memory is everywhere. And I don't know how well I'll be able to move on from this loss when it does happen when I still have to live with that other dog rubbing salt in my wounds.  

And I know this is life, it moves on, time heals and all those other cliche adages people are so found of saying when you are grieving are true. But I don't want to be told to cheer up. I don't want to be comforted as I cry. I don't want to be fixed at the moment. I don't want to talk to anyone either because the last time I went to a counselor they said everything my husband wanted to hear. And while I will be genuinely happy when I need to be, I don't have much of a silver lining to look forward to. I. Am. SAD. And I get to be that way for a while.

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Period

My husband and I planning on having a family in the not too too far off future. But we're not trying to have a baby at this moment, despite the fact that my baby fever is to the moon and there's no way it's coming back down. Which, you know what? We're both super educated good looking nice people, the world should be begging us to populate it with more of our awesomeness. (God I hope my kids aren't assholes.)

Anyway. The key word there is planning. And to plan, we need to figure out a pattern. So after talking to my doctor, the place we start is just making sure stuff is working. And because I'm super exited at the thought of planning, that means I haven't been this excited to get my period since I was 14. But that excitement quickly wore off when I remembered: god I hate hate my period. Oh well.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

The Biggest Looser Is Me

I am finding Bailey a new home.
For real this time, I've put up ads for her on both my work/staff blogs and my trainer has put her on their facebook page. I've got coworkers asking their spouse's coworkers and friends asking friends. It won't happen overnight, but Bailey won't be my dog for much longer.

The back story: the dogs got into a fight while they were being boarded at the trainers a few weeks ago. Bailey got anxious and started a fight with Jules, but they were separated and no one got hurt. Then Jules attacked Bailey 5 more times, and on that 5th time Bailey bit and stubborn little dog that wouldn't stop attacking went to the vet again. (She's healed fine now)  Mike has reached his breaking point. To make a long story short: Bailey and Jules don't get along 100% of the time. (Just Bailey and Jules, Bailey has played well with others) But when you combine the potential of a fight somewhere in the future with his always been a little scared of Bailey...she has to leave me. And I just can't fight for her anymore, I'm so tired. I'm tired of my husband being scared of my dog. I'm tired of him bringing up every single one of Bailey's past incidents as if I didn't know how he feels. I'm tired of the horrified looks if I say anything less than favorable about Jules when my feelings have been so deeply hurt over Bailey and on a constant basis. I'm tired of living in fear that I am going to lose her. I have fought tooth and nail for my dog, and I just can't do it anymore. I'm so sorry Bailey that I've failed you and it is absolutely breaking my heart.

My dog is not worth my marriage, but me giving her up is an enormous sacrifice. It's not fair but no matter what I lose. I still give up Bailey who I fiercely vowed to never let go again. If I make my husband give Jules away he resents and hate me. (I'm already resented for even thinking about it in the first place.) I didn't have to try to think of Jules as my own, and I wanted to love her as much as I love Bailey. She's likable and my heart grew to fit her next to Bailey. But now... because those 2 can't get along all the time, that dog has broken my heart and left an emptiness she'll never be able to fill. I don't hate Jules, though part of me wants to out of loyalty to Bailey. But I don't have to love her anymore either. She's just a dog that I have to live with now. I know when Bailey finds her new family she's going to be just fine. She may even forget me in time, though I'll never be able to forget her. Bailey's life will carry on and be great and that's what matters. Giving up a pet is a hard choice no matter who you are. But I wish I didn't have to be the biggest looser of everyone.

Monday, March 25, 2013

Pregnancy in a Post Pinterst World

First: I am not pregnant.

But everyone I know* and in the popular pins section of pintrest is. That or putting their bridal party in cowboy boots and/or holding assault riffles for a "cute/country/rustic" look. Which, stop it people. It's stupid.
Anyway, everyone on pintrest is either pinning tacky cowboy boots or cute pregnancy related things. Because now, to be pregnant in this post pintrest world you:
  • Need a creative pregnancy announcement. (It typically involves a sibling (or pet) holding a sign saying they are going to be a big sibling or a tummy shot with a bow and a due date. Though my favorite announcement is when the sonogram is imposed on the tummy picture for a creepy effect.) 
  • Throw an elaborate gender reveal party. (It's actually a sex reveal party, since gender is a social construction and sex is biological. You're discovering what parts the baby has, but "sex reveal party" doesn't have the same ring to it and sounds highly inappropriate when referring to babies.)    
  • Take a sexy but still classy maternity photo shoot. If you aren't feeling up for that you can do a family photo with everyone showing off their tummy while in awe of yours. Either one, you (or someone) must lovingly caress your belly. (I admit I want to do a weekly progression series myself, but there will be no touching of my tummy. Seriously, hands off.)
  • Have a tricked out themed nursery. Chevron seems to be the hot thing right now. Chevron is a fancy word for zig-zag pattern.
  • Put rubber duckies in the punch at the baby shower. (Seriously, why are there so many rubber duckies in the punch? It just blocks the way to the punch and that's a waste.)
  • Announce the baby's birth in either the same theme you announced the pregnancy and maternity shoot, or in a completely different cute and original way.
  • Once the baby arrives everyone is taking an artistic, beautiful black and white family photo. Or a funny black and white family photo. It's always black and white though.   
Oh good god. Being pregnant sound exhausting enough as it is. I told you pintrest was bananas.
*Seriously, everyone. 4 friends, my sister (!) and my next door neighbor. Everyone.

Monday, March 18, 2013

Some Rules Are Meant to be Broken

I don't pretend to have a green thumb, but I thought about trying my hand at a small little vegetable garden this spring. Just a little 3'x6' raised bed garden to grow peppers and a few herbs, and maybe a zucchini plant if I'm feeling particularly daring. Just so I don't have to spend a small fortune on fresh produce all the time (basil is expensive yo!).  I looked at a few gardening websites, learned the basic how-to's, and mentioned the idea to Mike. He was down for it. But then, recalling how bitchy the HOA was about the position our non-existent basketball hoop, he figured we should check the guidelines of the neighborhood just in case.

Section 2.12 Additional landscaping:
"Additional landscaping must be approved in writing by the MC (management company) using the application of exterior modification prior to the change unless it is within a 3 foot radius on the home. Gardens are not permitted."

However, I can totally have a trampoline as long as I apply for the application of exterior modification and place it in the center rear of the back yard. Which I learned from section 2.2 Backyard Play Equipment, Trampolines and Basketball Goals (the same place with the rules we so blatantly ignored with our non existent basketball hoop).

I'm so mad at the ridiculousness of it all I could spit. I can't have a small garden to grow food, but I can have a death trap (albeit, a super fun one) as long as I get the right papers in? I mean, really? WTF? Of course, now that I can't have one I want one really bad if only to piss the HOA off. I can do this one of several ways.
  1. Carry on with my original plan which was to build and plant the thing, and see how long it takes to get another nasty-gram. (If they are going to send another nasty-gram we better as hell deserve it this time.)
  2. Plant the garden along the entire back side of my house but only extend it 2'-9" from the house as to not violate the 3' radius clause. Of course, shade from the house isn't optimal for growing, but it's for the principle of it!
  3. Painstakingly detail the garden plans to the point of absurdity (for example: will be so many feet by feet, which is so many centimeters by centimeters and will be placed x feet and y centimeters from the house, top soil consisting of 10% this, 20% that and 70% so-and-so will raise no higher than 24" off the ground, etc.) Then apply for the exterior modification permit and have them approve the ridiculous. 
  4. Plant everything in flower pots and containers and cover my entire yard with those. Just don't move more than 2 to the front yard if they are dead. No ugly and/or dead plants in the front yard per hoa orders.
  5. Or, forget the garden and just bitch.
Options 2, 3 and 4 are more work that I intend to actually do. Option 1 is a viable possibility because I don't think any neighbors would actually complain over a vegetable garden, especially if we give them some of the results from it. And we could always go with a mea culpa and apply for the exterior modification after the nasty-gram. But it will more than likely be option 5, because it's just a small garden. But that doesn't make the situation any less ridiculous and me less bitchy about it.