Last night I was cooking dinner like I normally do and as I was getting the olive oil out of the cupboard, the cap came off on my hand (it must not have been on very tight) and the bottle slipped from my grasp. The bottle hit the counter top then the floor, where the glass, almost full bottle broke and emptied it's contents all over my kitchen floor.
The first thing I tell Mike to do is keep the dogs away, there's broken glass on the floor but we also don't want them to investigate and get their paws coated in oil and track it through the house. Eventually we end up crating them just because we just couldn't keep them away.
Well, neither one of us knows how to clean up a spill this big, so I gingerly walk over to the computer (I have oil spattered on my feet too) and google search how to clean an olive oil spill. I clicked on this really wordy solution that was way more like to hear themselves talk than actually tell me how to clean. But I was able to pick out the key word corn starch and could figure out what to do from there without having to read the rest of the jabbering.
By now Mike has picked up the large glass chunks and the shards have been swept up as well, but we've also been sweeping the oil around too. I gingerly walk around the kitchen island, awkwardly grab the corn starch, and proceed to dump it all over my kitchen floor, much to the complete and utter glee of my inner child. I stepped right in the cornstarch puddle to soak up the oil from my feet, and resumed cooking while we waited for the rest oil to soak up. (it was draft night for both my fantasy teams, there was a schedule to keep!)
Then 5 minutes later must have I decided the mess wasn't big enough so I fumbled and emptied the box of spaghetti over the kitchen floor too! I mean, what the hell? How on earth did I manage to make not one, but two epic messes in the span of 5 minutes? I look at the spaghetti strewn around my floor on top of the cornstartch layer with my mouth agape, and I look up to see my husband with the exact same look.
And with that, he says: "you are NOT allowed to drink during the draft tonight."
Agreed.
Showing posts with label spaz. Show all posts
Showing posts with label spaz. Show all posts
Saturday, September 1, 2012
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Smack talk
My neighbor had some friends over the weekend and they all brought their dogs over as well. Which, whatever, we have dogs, the neighbor has dogs and there's a fence to give boundaries and keep everyone with 4 legs and a wagging tail safe.
When we let the dogs out after they ate, both Bailey and Jules ran to the fence to investigate the new people and dogs. And Bailey's way of greeting (both dogs and humans) is a "bark head off first think later" approach. Which riles up her sister, and now we have two spazztastic dogs who can't be distracted and won't come back to the house when called, even with the lure of tasty treats. And two spazztastic dogs in full spazztastic mode can be somewhat dangerous because it has lead to fights and someone inevitably ends up hurt. So Mike and I navigate the minefield known as the backyard to pull the girls back from the fence and into the house.
So here we are, trying to get our dogs back under our control and we toss a hello to the people in that I would stop and talk to you but you can clearly see that I've got something else going on and you understand why we're not stopping to shoot the breeze sort of way. When one of the guys sees that Mike is wearing a Browns T-shirt (which is the status quo here since that's 80% of his t-shirt collection), his way of greeting us over the barking and spazzing is to announce that he was going to invite us over to have a beer until he saw the Browns shirt.
Which, really? It's not that I don't get sports rivalries and that I've never teased someone based on their sports affection (case in point, my husband is a Browns fan, teasing is nothing knew here). But really, that's the way you say hello to people you haven't actually even met, sports ball busting? We don't know you, and he's a guest at our neighbors home with no real invite rights to begin with in the first place.
And while I know really nothing to get my panties in a twist about, I still thought that this guy using a sports jab in place of a hello made him an asshole.
When we let the dogs out after they ate, both Bailey and Jules ran to the fence to investigate the new people and dogs. And Bailey's way of greeting (both dogs and humans) is a "bark head off first think later" approach. Which riles up her sister, and now we have two spazztastic dogs who can't be distracted and won't come back to the house when called, even with the lure of tasty treats. And two spazztastic dogs in full spazztastic mode can be somewhat dangerous because it has lead to fights and someone inevitably ends up hurt. So Mike and I navigate the minefield known as the backyard to pull the girls back from the fence and into the house.
So here we are, trying to get our dogs back under our control and we toss a hello to the people in that I would stop and talk to you but you can clearly see that I've got something else going on and you understand why we're not stopping to shoot the breeze sort of way. When one of the guys sees that Mike is wearing a Browns T-shirt (which is the status quo here since that's 80% of his t-shirt collection), his way of greeting us over the barking and spazzing is to announce that he was going to invite us over to have a beer until he saw the Browns shirt.
Which, really? It's not that I don't get sports rivalries and that I've never teased someone based on their sports affection (case in point, my husband is a Browns fan, teasing is nothing knew here). But really, that's the way you say hello to people you haven't actually even met, sports ball busting? We don't know you, and he's a guest at our neighbors home with no real invite rights to begin with in the first place.
And while I know really nothing to get my panties in a twist about, I still thought that this guy using a sports jab in place of a hello made him an asshole.
Tuesday, October 4, 2011
Mayheming
When the dogs first met, they only way they knew how to interact with each other was to play. And they played. Running, mouthing, swatting, blur of spaz play. Because of their size difference, we had to stop them mid-play so they wouldn't end up hurting each other. It went on like this for a while, even after Bails and I moved to Charlotte. We didn't dare leave them alone unsupervised, and I dubbed their play "mayheming." But, eventually, they calmed down around each other. So we all started to feel comfortable about not keeping the most diligent eye on them.
Until now. Because my dogs, my darling, spaztastic, mischievous dogs, realized that if I am in the shower, then I can't see or hear them. And more importantly (to them), I don't stop them. But that's not the super mischievous part. The mischievous part is that they figured out the timing of everything. My shower takes a while to heat up, so I open and close twice. One to turn on the water and to heat up, and the other to actually get clean. They wait for that second door close before they start to mayhem about.
Like the other day. I get out of the shower and come downstairs to the sounds of mouthing and full on spazzing. I see Jules leap off the love seat like superman, right onto Bailey's head. Bailey then tosses her head, and Jules, like a bucking bronco. Which is then followed by a spaztastic chase around the couch. The moment they see me, the freeze, and then slink into their crates when I point to them.
Ah, good times. Honestly, I was most amused by them figuring out the timing of that second shower door than I was mad at them.
But oh boy, could we be in trouble! Ahh, good times.
Until now. Because my dogs, my darling, spaztastic, mischievous dogs, realized that if I am in the shower, then I can't see or hear them. And more importantly (to them), I don't stop them. But that's not the super mischievous part. The mischievous part is that they figured out the timing of everything. My shower takes a while to heat up, so I open and close twice. One to turn on the water and to heat up, and the other to actually get clean. They wait for that second door close before they start to mayhem about.
Like the other day. I get out of the shower and come downstairs to the sounds of mouthing and full on spazzing. I see Jules leap off the love seat like superman, right onto Bailey's head. Bailey then tosses her head, and Jules, like a bucking bronco. Which is then followed by a spaztastic chase around the couch. The moment they see me, the freeze, and then slink into their crates when I point to them.
Ah, good times. Honestly, I was most amused by them figuring out the timing of that second shower door than I was mad at them.
But oh boy, could we be in trouble! Ahh, good times.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Sun Spots Make The World Go Round
At some point the girl dogs have learned they have a sister, and it's been somewhat calmer around here. Granted, they still antagonize each other like sisters, Jules hasn't grasped the Bailey probably wouldn't try to eat my head if I didn't put my head in her mouth concept yet, and Bailey gets jealous and butts in if Mike starts to pet Jules and not her. (I pet Jules and Bails is all whatevs. Mike pets Jules and she barrels in like: Hey! Hey! Me too! Um Bailey, he might like you more if you weren't so crazy. Just saying.)
But sometimes, a little extra help from mother nature helps the calm along. A LOT. Because this is what I had this morning:
a sun spot big enough for two!
But sometimes, a little extra help from mother nature helps the calm along. A LOT. Because this is what I had this morning:
a sun spot big enough for two!A few minutes later one of them hoped up and did something spaztastic and ruined the Kodak moment. But it was nice of mother nature to help out for a moment.
PS: Happy Birthday Amy! (I may have considered the dogs' calm as thier birthday present to you...)
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Math Is My Strong Subject
Seriously, math has always been something I'm good at. Yeah my skills get rusty if they don't get used on a constant basis, but all I typically need is a quick refresher course and I'm good. I whipped college algebra's ass and was able to test into calculus without taking pre-calc. Though pre-calc may have been helpful because that's where they teach you trigonometry so I struggled with that in my calculus class at UK. Math wise I was OK, just a little behind, but legally I was in trouble because the only thing that stopped me from stabbing my classmates was that I didn't want to ruin one of my better pens. (And it turns out I could take Stats 200 instead of calculus for my sociology degree, where I did not want to stab anyone in that class and I got a B in. So, win!)
Anyway, this is actually a dog post and not a math post.
Bailey is 1 dog. Jules is 1 dog. And 1 + 1 = 2. So I have 2 dogs. This works in theory, yes. But in reality, 1 Bailey + 1 Jules = 70 lbs of spaztastic chaos, and roughly 116 lbs (I've lost weight!) of pet mommy exhaustion and frustration.
It's honestly getting to the point where I'm starting to not like walking them. Bailey is a dog that needs a walk every single day. And we're not talking a once around the block kind of walk with her. She needs good half hour at least to have any kind of impact on her energy level. She won't burn off enough energy otherwise. And high strung dog is a destructive and nerve shooting dog. Jules is smaller so she can run around the house and be ok energy wise, but walks are good for her too. I can handle Bailey just fine. I can handle Jules just fine. So, for efficiency's sake, I walk them together. Bailey and I alone walk well together. But Jules and I do not. And me, Bailey, and Jules most certainly do not walk well together.
They have different type leashes first off. Bailey is walked in a no pull chest harness and a 6 foot nylon leash I've had since her puppy days. Jules walks in a chest harness and an extend-able leash. I typically lock Jules' leash to the same length as Bailey's so as to not have a pack leader. But there are still problems on our walks.
Such as Jules pulls. Which isn't a problem in theory because she's 20 lbs and I am lots heavier than her. But since I carry both but different leashes in the same hand to keep the other one free, because trust me, I need that free hand, the leashes get twisted a lot and the girls play bumper dogs. Bailey gets distracted easy (just like her mom) and veers off disrupting/cutting off Jules. When Jules pulls I snap on the leashes as a controlling method, but Bailey's gets snapped too when she hasn't exactly done anything wrong.
But the biggest problem is when we see another dog and/or kids. Jules starts digging in pulling because she wants to meet someone, but Bailey I shorten her leash and pull her closer to me because she doesn't have the gentlest hello. And Bailey has been known to lunge, like most dogs do, but usually in excitement in meeting someone new (or a cat) Sometimes, I'm able to keep Bailey close with only a few head turns from her while Jules pulls with all her might, but we keep going without incident. But in other case scenarios, when Bailey does get riled up, she often flails about without being conscious of her surroundings, ie, Jules. And if Bailey flails into Jules, Jules gets upset and starts sh*t with Bailey. So then I'm contending with two riled up dogs who are creating mayhem. I have to somehow separate them so they don't harm themselves, each other, me and whatever lured them over, and I need to pull them away as fast as I can from whatever got them riled up in the first place. Add to that a poop bag or two (tightly knotted) swinging around like a bio hazard, and you have our afternoon walk.
I don't mind that I have to walk the dogs, it's just one of the responsibilities of being a dog owner. But that 1.2 miles can be exhausting when it's just us girls. The walks are a lot easier when I have help, but dr soc doesn't have the time most afternoons/evenings to take a walk around the neighborhood. Plus, he's never walked Bailey by himself, let alone both of them. I don't want to have to resort to walking them separately because I don't think my body can handle that in addition to my running schedule. (I've been pushing myself hard, and my body is starting to let me know it does need that rest day.) But I'm tired of this. And I'm sick of every dog training website telling me Bailey's behavior is my fault. But I'm mostly baffled at how 1 dog + 1 dog does not = 2 dogs.
Anyway, this is actually a dog post and not a math post.
Bailey is 1 dog. Jules is 1 dog. And 1 + 1 = 2. So I have 2 dogs. This works in theory, yes. But in reality, 1 Bailey + 1 Jules = 70 lbs of spaztastic chaos, and roughly 116 lbs (I've lost weight!) of pet mommy exhaustion and frustration.
It's honestly getting to the point where I'm starting to not like walking them. Bailey is a dog that needs a walk every single day. And we're not talking a once around the block kind of walk with her. She needs good half hour at least to have any kind of impact on her energy level. She won't burn off enough energy otherwise. And high strung dog is a destructive and nerve shooting dog. Jules is smaller so she can run around the house and be ok energy wise, but walks are good for her too. I can handle Bailey just fine. I can handle Jules just fine. So, for efficiency's sake, I walk them together. Bailey and I alone walk well together. But Jules and I do not. And me, Bailey, and Jules most certainly do not walk well together.
They have different type leashes first off. Bailey is walked in a no pull chest harness and a 6 foot nylon leash I've had since her puppy days. Jules walks in a chest harness and an extend-able leash. I typically lock Jules' leash to the same length as Bailey's so as to not have a pack leader. But there are still problems on our walks.
Such as Jules pulls. Which isn't a problem in theory because she's 20 lbs and I am lots heavier than her. But since I carry both but different leashes in the same hand to keep the other one free, because trust me, I need that free hand, the leashes get twisted a lot and the girls play bumper dogs. Bailey gets distracted easy (just like her mom) and veers off disrupting/cutting off Jules. When Jules pulls I snap on the leashes as a controlling method, but Bailey's gets snapped too when she hasn't exactly done anything wrong.
But the biggest problem is when we see another dog and/or kids. Jules starts digging in pulling because she wants to meet someone, but Bailey I shorten her leash and pull her closer to me because she doesn't have the gentlest hello. And Bailey has been known to lunge, like most dogs do, but usually in excitement in meeting someone new (or a cat) Sometimes, I'm able to keep Bailey close with only a few head turns from her while Jules pulls with all her might, but we keep going without incident. But in other case scenarios, when Bailey does get riled up, she often flails about without being conscious of her surroundings, ie, Jules. And if Bailey flails into Jules, Jules gets upset and starts sh*t with Bailey. So then I'm contending with two riled up dogs who are creating mayhem. I have to somehow separate them so they don't harm themselves, each other, me and whatever lured them over, and I need to pull them away as fast as I can from whatever got them riled up in the first place. Add to that a poop bag or two (tightly knotted) swinging around like a bio hazard, and you have our afternoon walk.
I don't mind that I have to walk the dogs, it's just one of the responsibilities of being a dog owner. But that 1.2 miles can be exhausting when it's just us girls. The walks are a lot easier when I have help, but dr soc doesn't have the time most afternoons/evenings to take a walk around the neighborhood. Plus, he's never walked Bailey by himself, let alone both of them. I don't want to have to resort to walking them separately because I don't think my body can handle that in addition to my running schedule. (I've been pushing myself hard, and my body is starting to let me know it does need that rest day.) But I'm tired of this. And I'm sick of every dog training website telling me Bailey's behavior is my fault. But I'm mostly baffled at how 1 dog + 1 dog does not = 2 dogs.
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