Age is Only a Number

A few months after I got married, my sister mentioned I had just done so, and the person she was talking to asked how old I was. I had turned 30 in July and that person said "Ha! I bet she got married in May so she would still be 29."
My sister, bless her heart, said no, she didn't think my age was a factor on my wedding date.
But when she relayed this conversation to me my response was:

me:  No she's right. That was totally a reason I we picked May.
Amy: really?
me: Yup. I mean if it (getting married) didn't happen before 30 I wasn't going to stress it, but since it could happen while still in my 20's...well why not? And I got to be dr soc's wife sooner and all that other romantic stuff. 
Amy: well. okay then.

Yeah. I own it though. I totally own it.
 

Flashback Friday

Look what we did 5 years ago!

MARRIED!!!!!

Want more pictures and all the feels? Click on the link above ⬆ and prepare to be amazed (I certainly was, but I admit I may have something of a bias).

Anyway, five years on one hand feels like a long time. And on the other hand five years doesn't seem long at all. Look at all we've done! Either way, Happy anniversary my love!

Professionalism

The other day my coworker's husband brought something by for her and they had a quick little peck as he was leaving. I remarked how cute it was and how it reminded me of all the times I had visited dr soc's office and he wouldn't touch me. 😄

Seriously. In his defense at the time he didn't have his school's version of tenure, so by minding his P's and Q's to be as professional as possible he refused pretty much all physical contact whatsoever if on campus together. No peck on the cheek, no hug goodbye, no gentle touch for guidance, no encroachment into either personal bubble. Zero physical contact. He wouldn't even hold my hand.

But now that I have given him a child (and he has tenure) he has relaxed enough to be professionally affectionate. He figured if his coworkers will hug me hello/goodbye, holding my hand on occasion wouldn't professionally ruin him. Not to mention I would have been super pissed (and probably scene causing upset) as I waddled to the baby shower his coworkers threw for us if he had refused to hold my hand when my fingers were too puffy to wear my wedding bands!

Fail safe

Someone found this lawn shark sculpture online and immediately though of my husband.  Because of course. So it was posted on his facebook wall and when I saw it my visceral response was: that is awesome and I want it! And when I see the $180 price tag I thought: totally doable.

The more and more I looked at it, the more and more I laughed and wanted it. And then it dawned on me this would be the coolest anniversary gift (traditional year four gift is fruit and/or flowers, so I say a lawn sculpture legit falls into the "plants" category) I almost whipped out the credit card right then then and there.

But somewhere in all that excitement I didn't do exactly that, so there had to be a reason. I just couldn't find one on my own. So I showed the garden shark it to my coworkers and asked them to find me a reason.
Josh: it's impractical
me: but it amuses me highly, so I don't care. Next reason.
Josh: hmm, well, it is $180 for something very impractical.
me: still don't care. Keep trying.
Josh: do you even have the space for it?  
me: yup.
Josh: your HOA?
me: screw 'em!
Josh: well ok, I've got nothing.
me: ok, thanks for trying. ~~I turn to another coworker~~ Lauren. I want to get this for my husband and I cannot find a reason not to. Josh tried but couldn't come up with one.

Lauren looks at the image for a minute, and says:

Lauren: those teeth look really sharp. Not toddler friendly.
me: yes! Perfect reason! Not safe for the baby! Thank you!
--pause--
me: Oh. I just completely failed at being a parent didn't I?

This Little Piggie

Valentine's Day 2015 was brought to us by urgent care. The couch attacked a husband who shall remain nameless and said husband needed an X-ray.
Yup.
I was at work on my lunch break when dr soc (oops, just gave it away!) called me and said he though he had broken his toe on the couch. We got a new couch before Christmas so we're still getting used to the new layout. His littlest piggie was at a 90 degree angle from his foot and it was also swollen to about the size of his biggest piggie.    
So we had a romantic valentines day at an urgent care, doing romantic things like taking sexy x-rays of his feet.
And then for the rest of the night we made toe puns. Like toe-pocalypse. Catas-toe-phe. It wasn't the Christmas season so we didn't have any miss-the-toe!    

Normal Thing to Do

Today I beat Mike home for work so I pulled the trash can around and got the mail, two things I normally don't do. Dr soc is pretty much always home before me and takes care of those things so I never really even think to even do them.

Anyway, when dr soc got home this afternoon  he thanked me for pulling the trash around. I said "you're welcome," and since it was such a rare occurance I then happily said:

me: Oh! I got the mail too!
dr: soc: Wow! What did we get?
me: A pizza coupon and um...
dr soc: That's ok. Where is it?
me: It's... It's... uhhh.. This is why I don't get the mail.

Roof Types

So. My poor husband husband has shingles. Not the things you use on the roof variety. Nope. The health kind that can give you chicken pox variety.
He doesn't hurt which is really lucky. Shingles attaches/runs along a nerve which is why it's so painful in the first place. We also caught it pretty quick and the antibiotics the dr gave him are already working. He doesn't have to be quarantined from me since I've had chicken pox, and it's also safe for him to be around our families this holiday.
I'm sure he's enjoying me telling his health status to the internets, but I just feel so bad for him, even though he's not in pain. I'm probably just going to spoil him for a while, at least until it clears up. I don't think he'll hind that though.    

Mystery Date

With all the Buzz Is Back excitement in Charlotte, one of the fun things offered was a Hugo bobble head to every ticket holder. And since I love stuff, I suggested we go to that game since I had the night off. The hornets didn't win, it was a lot of sloppy play (at least that's what dr soc and my neighbor said, hell if I know what sloppy play actually looks like), but it was still a lot of fun. 

Well anyway, we got to the game well before tip-off for the bobble head so we had a decent amount of time to look at the court and how the arena was laid out for basketball. It made dr soc think of another time at the arena.

dr soc: Wasn't this how it was set up for when we saw the Trans-Siberian Orchestra?

me: Um, I don't really know, since I've never seen them.

dr soc: Wait, what? Didn't we come here for that?

me: Nope. We were here for Circ Du Soleil, but I've never seen the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. 

dr soc: ~starts blushing~ Oh. Um...I..yeah.

me: ~lovingly patting his shoulder~ Must be thinking of some other date dear.

dr soc: oh...

me: ~cackling~ Bet you enjoyed that date more than the awkward tent you're in now!    

Eat Me

So, something I legit need for my kitchen:
"DO NOT EAT" labels/signs.
Otherwise, my husband's hunger overtakes him and main/key ingredients fall victim to his voracious snacking.

No, seriously. Twice this week dinner plans were thwarted/nearly thwarted due to dr soc's snacking. I've been trying to get in the habit of menu planning, so I write down the 6 days of dinner ideas and shop accordingly. I like to try new recipes but usually only try one a week because I'm not insane.

Anyway, Monday was going to be chili pie. Chili, noodles, cornbread topping, bake. All things I had in the house. But when dr soc got home from his office hours he ate the leftover chili from Sunday's lunch for a snack. All of it. So no chili pie until I make another vat of chili. No biggie really, but it was fun to tease him.
And then tonight I asked if he could start prepping dinner since it was taking me such a long time to get home. I told him the cookbook to find the recipe and by the time I got home he had most of the marinade made. However, he told me when I got home that we almost didn't have enough cashews because he had once again snacked on a key ingredient when he got home from work!

I pretty much brayed like a jackass. But it's also a good thing I got home when I did because I got there before he added the garlic. Yeah, turns out dr soc didn't exactly know what a clove of garlic was. So even if we hadn't had enough cashews, the 4 heads of garlic would have certainly covered that void!

Barn Dance

Yesterday Mike and I went to a friend's wedding at the Alexander Homestead here in Charlotte. One of the biggest current trends in weddings (and almost everything) is rustic (and chevron. I fully blame pintrest), so a wedding at this place suits rustic but sill very pretty, look well.  

Anyway. Rustic is not my favorite look,* but whatever, to each their own. It was a lovely wedding and we wish them all the happiness in the world. But when dr soc and I were planning our wedding (ok, when I was planning our wedding, whatever), one of the first things we needed was the venue. We both didn't want to get married in a church, so we were going for a cool, different (inside**) venue. I ruled out a hotel ceremony, but the reception in a hotel ballroom wasn't out of question. But since we (ok, once again, me) was willing to spend a decent amount of money for a cool place, I wanted to spend as much time as possible there so it made sense to have the ceremony and reception at the same site.

So one of the venues on the docket was a vineyard. Wine is cool and vineyards are different! Yes! It was a little out of the way, which, given my husband's family's navigational skills this place already didn't bode well, but the pictures on the internets of the grounds were pretty, so it was at least worth a look. We're walking around on our own little self guided tour, and the inside space where events are held is a barn. You would think I would immediately say no way giving my rustic aversion, but since I had seen pictures of weddings there, with the right lights, flowers and  decorations, I could see it possibly working and was willing to think about it.

Dr Soc though, was not. While he agreed the vineyard was pretty and maybe one day we would check it out a little more, it was not going to be our wedding venue. When I asked him if there was any particular reason, he looked at me and said: "I don't want to get married in a barn. I'm not getting married next to a f*cking goat!"

Well ok then. No barn. The vineyard was officially ruled out, and we avoided rustic. Win win!  

*I mean seriously people, it's burlap. It's feed sack material, there's nothing f*cking fancy about it.
**Inside was a non-negotiable for me. I was not going to make a weather contingency plan or broil in the sun in late May and have sweat dripping down my cleavage. 

Memory Lane Monday

So there's this thing called Throwback Thursday/#tbt where you post old pictures of yourself on some social media site. I only recently started playing along (seriously, maybe a month ago) and posted a few old photos here and there on the facebooks on a Thursday in proper throwback form. 

So far I don't think I have anything exciting to throwback this Thursday (a class picture while I'm in class maybe? meh), and it's Monday so I've declared it Memory Lane Monday because I have something way better than any little kid picture to throw back to from 2 years ago:

 my favorite wedding picture

We said I do!
Happy year 2 honey!

Football Words

My husband is a die-hard Cleveland Browns fan. So watching football with him (and the rest of the men in the family) is amusing because it's peppered with colorful phrases and curse words. It just comes with the territory. I don't really bat an eye because I don't have the most pristine vocabulary either, so really it's only a matter of time before our future children hear something we would rather have them not repeat. But rather than us be adults and try to change our behavior and make an attempt to curb the ingrained language of football season, we'll probably just tell them those are "football words" that we only say during football games.*

Anyway, twenty minutes before the second day of the 2014 NFL draft, the story of Josh Gordon's failed drug test/suspension breaks and dr soc was pissed. Actually, pissed is really an understatement, because the regular "football words" were replaced with some really bad ones even for him. And because I am an awesome wife, after I picked up my mouth from dropping in surprise, I just pointed and laughed. 

*This is a flawless plan brought to you from my childless parenting skills. 

Pintrest Fail

My husband and I are both birthday people. Meaning, we both enjoy celebrating them and the attention/affection that comes along with them as well. Well, dr soc's birthday is February 19 and since that was a work day, I wanted to do a little something special so his students and coworkers would know. The night before I had the great idea for him to bring treats to class, so I was going to make chocolate covered mint oreos. Melt chocolate, stick a cake pop stick in the filling, dip, done.

Except.

If the cake pop sticks weren't in the exact center of the creme filling it would pop off the cookie halves. And the melted chocolate was too thick and would trap the smushed back-together cookie. In addition to that, since I wanted 3/4ths to the whole cookie covered in chocolate, when I spooned it over the cookie, the chocolate falling from the spoon was much more of a "plopping" than a smooth waterfall-like cascade. The uneven somewhat circular blobs of chocolate with cake pop sticks at random angles were a far cry from pintrest idea I had in my head. Rather than beat myself up about it, I scrapped whole treats for the class idea and brought the tasty but ugly cookies to work. 

And besides, I had done this to his office door before coming home

Birthday Bostons!

The full view - hehehe!

So I wasn't too upset about my pintrest fail when I knew that was waiting to surprise him the next day.
Here's a closeup of the two pictures that planted the decorate his door idea in my head:

Happy birthday indeed! SNARF!!!

 And this one:

Dancing Boston is feeling it!

And then we met for dinner at one of our favorite places and I gave him a shark beenie baby to add to his office menagerie. The tiny octopus and wind-up dinosaur were getting lonely after all. 

Lonley Goatherd

me: You're such a dork!
mike: Yep. That's why we work.
me: True. But you're still a dork.
mike: Says the girl who was bouncing around yodeling* the other day.
me: Hey now, I wasn't bouncing, I was prancing.
mike: Fine. But you were still yodeling.
me: Yes. "She yodeled off to the lonely goatherd, lay ee odl lay ee odl lay hee hoo!" **
mike: Dork.
me: Yep. Hi kettle, it's pot!

*Sound of Music Live. Of all the songs you have to admit that when you sing you just can't help but be silly and prance around.***
** There was spinning and prancing here too.
***Oh, just me?

Coupon Queen

mike: I got some coupons from the oil change place for all the stuff that I did for my car. So if you need them in the next few months they're yours.
me: Thanks.
mike: I couldn't use them on anything I did today. So the guy said I could give them to my family, or my girlfriend. I guess he didn't see my ring!
me: Ha! Guess not. Though I have to say if you did give your girlfriend coupons I would be pissed.
mike: I bet.
me: And not about the girlfriend part. Well, ok, yeah, some of that would be that you have a girlfriend. But no, I'd be more pissed ab-
mike: About the coupons?
me: Yes! Exactly! You have a girlfriend and you give her coupons?  Low man.
mike: They were coupons for lunchables, You know, stuff you don't like.
me: -snort- Well if those are the coupons you gave her, then hahaha!. Because that means your dating a girl that eats lunchables and those hurt, when you know your wife has got it going on in the kitchen.
mike: Hahaha, true! 

Grown Up Gifts

Today is my husband's 33rd birthday. So clearly, this is what I got him:

the sign says: ROAR! That's: Happy Birthday! in dinospeak

An inflatable T-Rex. Obviously.

And these are the cupcakes I sent him work with to share with his coworkers.

It was either sports or princess cupcake liners.
You can see why I chose the way I did.

He wouldn't let me decorate them with the little "score!" flags. Something about those not being professional?

Just wait and see what I have planned for 40!
Happy Birthday Honey!

Dancing on Your Grave

me: I have the new Carrie Underwood song two black Cadillac stuck in my head.
mike: Ok.
me: I'm sure you've never heard it. But it's an old fashioned country song that tells a story. Anyway, the two black Cadillacs are at a funeral, one's for the wife and the other for the mistress. "Preacher said he was good man, brother said he was a good friend, but the women in the two black veils didn't bother to cry."  Turns out the women knew about each other and killed the dude for doing them wrong all those years. They both lay a rose on his grave.
mike: Ok.
me: You know though, it takes some serious balls to show up at your lover's funeral when you are the mistress. Not only to show up, but to get a Cadillac as if you were family.
mike: I'll say. You can go to the funeral, but you hide in the back.
me: Exactly. If your mistress shows up at your funeral demanding a Cadillac, I'm throwing her in the grave with you.
mike: Fair enough. If she had the balls to do that she might not exactly have lady parts though.
me: True. And if that's the case then, the joke's on you and I think I'd let her live and just dance on your grave.

Name Dropping

I'm not being anti-woman's-lib-hear-me-purr-I-need-a-man, but there are times when dropping the word "husband" is the easiest and most efficient way to stop someone from flirting with me.

It's not that I'm being flirted with all the time, but it happens on enough occasions that I notice. It usually comes from the graduate students at the academic library more than anything. Everyone's class (freshman, sophomore, masters, PhD, faculty etc) is listed so I know what level in school you are as soon as I scan your ID. So when a guy starts making a bit more conversation than the interaction requires, I can tell that he's testing out the waters trying to gauge my availability.  Sometimes a flash from my left hand is enough to deter someone, but if that doesn't work, working the word "my husband" into the conversation does.

When you think about it though, it doesn't surprise me (or my husband) all that much, when you consider the type of patron who uses the academic library. Academics tend to use the academic library (with the exception of my husband who barely used the library his 7 years in grad school), and doesn't a librarian (in training) sort of seem like the epitome of academic? Also now that I think about it, I may get hit on more at the library than I ever did as a bartender. But whatever, that's not really the point.  Though I bet people hear college professor husband and librarian wife, it does sound pretty matchy.

Icing on the Cake

me: I have the gingerbread dough made, it just has to chill and then I can make the cookies.
mike: Cool. Do we have stuff to decorate the cookies?
me: -snort- No, you know I don't decorate cookies.
mike: You don't?
me: No.
mike: Oh yeah, we had this conversation last year... (sad face)

I don't decorate cookies. The closest I ever come to decorating is tossing a couple shakes of sprinkles on a cookie before they go in the oven. If a recipe calls for icing, glazing, rolling in sugar, or any other sort of  nonsense, forget it. Which is why my gingerbread usually looks like this:

Plain. But tasty 

But.

My husband loves icing. And I love my husband. And we're newlyweds so we still do sweet crap for each other like leaving notes in each other's lunch box and finding a recipe for royal icing for the gingerbread cookies. So this is what my gingerbread looks like this year: 

Fancy! And still tasty

Yep, I decorated the cookies this year! Not only that, I made the icing too. My husband looked so disappointed when he remembered I don't normally ice cookies that I couldn't bear to see him that way so I had to. They may not be the prettiest cookies ever, ok, even a little bit pretty, but my husband is happy. And that makes the best wife ever.