Saturday, August 19, 2017

Unfair Comparison

I have a toddler. She is actually learning the world right now. Words, emotions, boundaries, even how her own body works (thought she doesn't have any rights to it ← not infuriating AT ALL btw). And she's going to make mistakes, she's going to drop a fook every now and again and tell you to shit down. (it's hilarious) She's going to violate a social norm here and there, throw a tantrum in public and even be a bit of an asshole at times, but that's because she really doesn't know any better.

So it is a HUGE insult to toddlers everywhere when you compare asshole-in-chief  to them. And don't excuse his behavior on being new to government either. Trump, four of his children, and all the cronies surrounding him are grown adults. They should know better. They should know social norms and not violate them. They should understand how the world around them works. They should not throw temper tantrums. People in general should not be assholes as a whole. They should know better. Because, once again, They. Are. ADULTS.

So please, stop comparing toddlers to the president. Because it's not a fair comparison at all.

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Religious Freedom

I get religion is a big part of people's lives. I know it can offer explanations, be a guiding factor, a convenience and a comfort to a lot of people. Churches can provide support and a sense of community, and that's a good thing. I understand that, and you have the freedom and right to believe that. But for me...I just can't.

Seriously, don't bring your religion into my realm. It can infuriate me when religion is given credit or blamed for something. I prickle when anyone tells me to have a blessed day. I know it's supposed to be an innocuous thing to say, but it really bothers me to have you wish your religious beliefs on my life in general. I appreciate being in your thoughts during a hard time, but I don't want your prayers. Please don't tell me how a baby is a little miracle, because it's science. Why are so many wars and heinous actions done in any god's name? And please don't explain horrible things to me as god's will.  

I know this is not going to be a popular opinion. But it is mine. It is just as much my right to believe as it is yours to not. This will offend someone, somewhere, and there is nothing I can (or will) do about it. And I don't care either, and really you shouldn't either.      

Tuesday, August 15, 2017

Color Privilege

My daughter was handing me crayons and I was naming the colors for her along with my own little adages for context. For example:
Pink: this is mommy's favorite color.
Green: you're sitting on your green chair.
White: the color of privilege

Yup.
Because white people, white men, rich white men in particular, can be some stupid ass fools and do whatever they want (especially racist, sexist and ignorant what they want) and the rest of get to suffer the consequences. Because you know the white men aren't going to.

Yes, I know. Not all white people. Not all men. But lets review a few recent instances when white male privilege was totally a thing:

  • Brock Turner (one of the whitest names I've ever heard btw) rapes an unconscious woman. Judge worries about the harm jail will have on him and not the victim of the crime he did
  • Timothy McVeigh, Dylan Roof, and James Holmes are American terrorists, but lets talk about the mental help they should have received and not the victims they killed.
  • The asshole in chief takes a "break" from his 18 day vacation from his own golf club to do part of the job he holds that he will never be qualified for. And he's going to start a nuclear war with N. Korea safe in his tacky gold leaf bunker while the rest of us grow radiation tails as we die a slow painful death in nuclear winter. 

But please, tell me again how white privilege isn't a thing.

Monday, August 14, 2017

Not Surprised

I'm not surprised at the tragedy of Charlottesville. 
Angry about it? Yes. 
Disgusted with all things white supremacists? Absolutely. 
Frustratingly sad and overall appalled? You better believe it. 
But surprised? No. 

This powder keg has been on a slow burn since king deplorable announced his candidacy. And I don't think Charlottesville is going to change a thing. There's going to be another rally. There's going to be more injuries. There will probably be more deaths. The orange asshole will condone by refusing to condemn. There will be public outrage. There will definitely be twitter shaming. But change? Probably not. 
That's fucking terrifying 

Wednesday, July 26, 2017

Camping is Gross

I present a classic Spazella:
Reasons I _________ list:
So here is: Reasons I don't camp.
  1. I have no survival skills. I would probably die.
  2. I'm not going to sleep on the ground. Rocks digging into whatever body part they want and dirt? No thank you. 
  3. I don't want to pee in the woods either. (I might feel differently about that if I was a boy and I could write my name in the snow.)
  4. I pretty much hate nature. 
  5. It's too quiet. That scares me.
  6. It's too loud and full of nature noises. That also scares me.
  7. Also, bears live in the woods. Bears will kill you.
  8. No internets? Pass.
  9. I have AAA for hotels. And even if I didn't - I would still hotel.

Tuesday, July 25, 2017

Context is Key

When my kid says fork she does so w/out the R, so it sounds like f*ck with an accent of sort. Kinda like "fook." I'm totally encouraging it because I'm not about to discourage her language development, but mostly because it's hilarious.
But she's not using fook as a cuss word, she is actually referring to a fork. So she isn't cussing on purpose. Though when she does start cussing in the correct context I will die laughing, because omg the funny.

Anyway, poor baby just had a rough Sunday.
First she slipped on the cutting board she was playing with on the floor while I cleaned the cabinet it was in. Her little feet flew out from under her, landed flat on her back onto the kitchen floor and burst into tears. About an hour later she shut a drawer on her fingers and started screaming. And 20 minutes after that she ran face first into a door frame.

She could have really used some forks.