Tuesday, November 21, 2017

Thanksgiving Play, Act 2, Scene 3

Since we've been in North Carolina, dr soc and I have hosted Thanksgiving. Neither one of us really has the time from work and now with Little Turkey's birthday, hosting has been what works best for us. We know what works as far as the food, guests sleeping arrangements and things to do, so the weekend runs well, is a lot of fun and we look forward to it.  
But in the issue of full disclosure: it did not start that way. It started like this:

I cook. Dr soc cleans kitchen behind me, including stuff still being used. I use another spoon/dish/pan since I can't find anything. Dr soc washes new dirtied item. We continue to get in each other's way throughout the day. Tempers shorten at 1:1 ratio of missing:dirty items.

me: (pour olive oil in pan. decide to forgo whatever meal that was. look for clear space and place pan on top of drying rack to left of the sink)
dr soc: (sees pan with liquid. grab dish towel. start wiping oil)
me: (blurt across kitchen) Oh no honey! That's not water, that's olive oil!
dr soc: (exasperated) Then why was it on the clean side?
me: (completely frazzled. look at dr soc)
dr soc: (eyes widen. throw up hands) Sorry! I'm sorry! (backs out of kitchen-fearful) 

--the next hour--

dr soc: (slink* into the kitchen to clean)
me: (see slinking. screech) I'm not done! (flail hands) Still using that! (strangled incoherent gargle) 
dr soc: (leave kitchen)
(repeat 2-3 more times at random intervals throughout flurry of holiday activity)

At the time it was just ridiculous but now it's one of my favorite memories and I crack up whenever I tell it (seriously I'm giggling hard core right now). But needless to say, we've gotten a lot better.

*this is very hard to do with an open plan like we have

Friday, November 3, 2017

Fall Game

So we upped our fall game this year.
We took the kid to a pumpkin patch:
Yeah, I leashed her. She loves the monkey backpack
and oh yeah she's my kid so your opinion is invalid
We did a group costume including the dog for Halloween:
Our Peanuts Gang from L to R: Snoopy, Peppermint Patty,
Charlie Brown, Lucy and Linus (Jules!) VanPelt trick-or-treating
And the pumpkin from the pumpkin patch was carved in the group costume theme:
Totally squelched a F-bomb when the head fell in.
Next year I'm just carving a face.
Or whatever the almost 3 year old tells me
But what really upped the fall game from last year: it was all documented on Instagram, so it really happened.
Happy Autumn!

Thursday, November 2, 2017


Of course I've been sexually harassed.
I mean, I did things like going for runs in shorts and a tank top since it was 90-billion degrees. I've walked from point A to point B and my "gorgeous ass!" got a shout out. (which it is, but that's not the point.) I've been as brazen as to stand still and my backside got brushed. And let's not forget I was a bartender, a flirty, super cute young 20 something with a great figure at that. Of course I was there for (mostly older, mostly white) males to ogle and comment on. For goodness sake, what did I expect?

Wait. Hold on-

Oh but I also know to never leave my drink unattended at a party. And to not wear my headphones, be on (or even have out) my phone and to be aware of my surroundings at all times when walking alone - which you should never do in the first place. It's also not smart to wear my hair in a ponytail, or have any sort of strap across or on my body so you are harder to grab and assault. And -

Wait! Wait! Seriously, hold on. 

What did I expect? What are the preventive actions I'm supposed to do to not get raped? What am I supposed to wear? To not wear? Who's going to believe me if I ever am assaulted? Why is it my responsibility when my female body is regulated by men in the first place? 

So yeah. #MeToo. I bet everyone, and I mean everyone, has some sort of #MeToo story of their own. And by all means yes, shed some light on this and show how ubiquitous this all is. Hell, use a floodlight and keep it on this issue. But could we also: #BelieveTheVictim, #Don'tRape and #StopRapeCulture too? 

Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Tooth and Nail

My daughter is overall pretty easy going, but if she doesn't want to do something, she can be stubborn as hell. And because she's a toddler her stubborn is getting more and more epic. I'm talking full force fight mode, screaming, wailing, sobbing, thrashing, kicking, temper tantrum throwing. However, mommy has been able to out-stubborn, cajole and/or bribe her to do, enough so that I count it as a mommy win.

But there are two things I absolutely cannot out-stubborn, cajole or bribe my daughter to do, no matter what. No reasoning, no pleading, and bribes of stickers, M&Ms and the biggest, most powerful bribe of them all: an Elmo video, nothing gets her to accept her fate and we go to battle.

The two things my daughter fights me tooth and nail on?
Her teeth. And nails.
Yeah. The irony is not lost on me.

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Why didn't she...?

In the past year alone these are the powerful men who have been accused of sexual assault:
The Hollywood squad:
  1. Harvey Weinstein -Hollywood power producer sexually harasses/assaults/rapes women for 30 years
  2. Bill Cosby - America's favorite dad serially drugged and raped for (again) years
  3. Nate Parker - Upcoming film maker acquitted of rape 
  4. Casey Afflect - *sexual harassment settlement from 2010 won the oscar this year  
The Fox "News" (or rapist news network) crowd:
  1. Bill O'Reilly - Fox news anchor 
  2. Roger Ailes - Fox news founder and CEO (may he rot in hell)
  3. Eric Bolling - Fox news host 
The CEO bros:
  1. Travis Kalanick - Uber founder and CEO (was forced to resign after fostering toxic work culture) 
  2. Antonio Marquis "LA" Reid - Epic Records CEO
  3. Bikram Choudhury - famous style yoga guru
The tech industry dudes:
  1. Chris Sacca - early investor of Twitter, Uber & Instagram
  2. David McClure founder/manager venture capital firm 500 Startups
  3. Jason Caldbeck - co-founder/manager of venture capital Binary Capital
  4. Mike Cagney Sofi CEO 
And politicians
  1. Anthony Weiner - sexting a minor next to his own child, the FBI tossed a red herring so the next slimeball on this list:   
  2. Trump - grabbed women by their p*ssy and became president. 
And this is just a list of rich and/or famous douche bags that have been called out, after multiple victims have come forward each time with more and more egregious corroborating stories. This doesn't stop dick pics. Catcalling "should be considered a compliment." About 60% of sexual assaults are even reported, let alone someone being held accountable for a crime. A victim is a victim, no matter the sex, gender identity, race, age, relationship to someone, etc.
So why didn't she tell anyone? What were you wearing? Why are you only now coming forward? Why didn't
It's not why didn't they....fill in the blank.
It should be:
Why did the assaulter feel it was their right in the first place?     

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Age is Only a Number

A few months after I got married, my sister mentioned I had just done so, and the person she was talking to asked how old I was. I had turned 30 in July and that person said "Ha! I bet she got married in May so she would still be 29."
My sister, bless her heart, said no, she didn't think my age was a factor on my wedding date.
But when she relayed this conversation to me my response was:

me:  No she's right. That was totally a reason we picked May.
Amy: really?
me: Yup. I mean if it (getting married) didn't happen before 30 I wasn't going to stress it, but since it could happen while still in my 20's...well why not? And I got to be dr soc's wife sooner and all that other romantic stuff. 
Amy: well. okay then.

Yeah. I own it though. I totally own it.