Wednesday, October 18, 2017

Tooth and Nail

My daughter is overall pretty easy going, but if she doesn't want to do something, she can be stubborn as hell. And because she's a toddler her stubborn is getting more and more epic. I'm talking full force fight mode, screaming, wailing, sobbing, thrashing, kicking, temper tantrum throwing. However, mommy has been able to out-stubborn, cajole and/or bribe her to do, enough so that I count it as a mommy win.

But there are two things I absolutely cannot out-stubborn, cajole or bribe my daughter to do, no matter what. No reasoning, no pleading, and bribes of stickers, M&Ms and the biggest, most powerful bribe of them all: an Elmo video, nothing gets her to accept her fate and we go to battle.

The two things my daughter fights me tooth and nail on?
Her teeth. And nails.
Yeah. The irony is not lost on me.

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Why didn't she...?

In the past year alone these are the powerful men who have been accused of sexual assault:
The Hollywood squad:
  1. Harvey Weinstein -Hollywood power producer sexually harasses/assaults/rapes women for 30 years
  2. Bill Cosby - America's favorite dad serially drugged and raped for (again) years
  3. Nate Parker - Upcoming film maker acquitted of rape 
  4. Casey Afflect - *sexual harassment settlement from 2010 won the oscar this year  
The Fox "News" (or rapist news network) crowd:
  1. Bill O'Reilly - Fox news anchor 
  2. Roger Ailes - Fox news founder and CEO (may he rot in hell)
  3. Eric Bolling - Fox news host 
The CEO bros:
  1. Travis Kalanick - Uber founder and CEO (was forced to resign after fostering toxic work culture) 
  2. Antonio Marquis "LA" Reid - Epic Records CEO
  3. Bikram Choudhury - famous style yoga guru
The tech industry dudes:
  1. Chris Sacca - early investor of Twitter, Uber & Instagram
  2. David McClure founder/manager venture capital firm 500 Startups
  3. Jason Caldbeck - co-founder/manager of venture capital Binary Capital
  4. Mike Cagney Sofi CEO 
And politicians
  1. Anthony Weiner - sexting a minor next to his own child, the FBI tossed a red herring so the next slimeball on this list:   
  2. Trump - grabbed women by their p*ssy and became president. 
And this is just a list of rich and/or famous douche bags that have been called out, after multiple victims have come forward each time with more and more egregious corroborating stories. This doesn't stop dick pics. Catcalling "should be considered a compliment." About 60% of sexual assaults are even reported, let alone someone being held accountable for a crime. A victim is a victim, no matter the sex, gender identity, race, age, relationship to someone, etc.
So why didn't she tell anyone? What were you wearing? Why are you only now coming forward? Why didn't
It's not why didn't they....fill in the blank.
It should be:
Why did the assaulter feel it was their right in the first place?     

Saturday, October 7, 2017

Age is Only a Number

A few months after I got married, my sister mentioned I had just done so, and the person she was talking to asked how old I was. I had turned 30 in July and that person said "Ha! I bet she got married in May so she would still be 29."
My sister, bless her heart, said no, she didn't think my age was a factor on my wedding date.
But when she relayed this conversation to me my response was:

me:  No she's right. That was totally a reason we picked May.
Amy: really?
me: Yup. I mean if it (getting married) didn't happen before 30 I wasn't going to stress it, but since it could happen while still in my 20's...well why not? And I got to be dr soc's wife sooner and all that other romantic stuff. 
Amy: well. okay then.

Yeah. I own it though. I totally own it.

Tuesday, October 3, 2017


Another mass shooting domestic terrorism.
Another lone wolf  white male.
Another toxic masculinity mental health status question
Another assault riffle weapon of mass destruction.
Another "senseless" tragedy easy access to guns partial explanation.
Another cry for fruitless attempt at stronger gun laws.
Another "but not all/good gun owners" defense absolving responsibility.
Another minuscule blip in the NRA's rhetoric set of victims.
Another suspiciously quiet restrategizing from NRA lobbyists 
Another round of thoughts and prayers inaction.
Another round of finger pointing.
Another search for a silver bullet.
Another heartbreak.
Another family destroyed.
Another. Another. Another.

Monday, September 18, 2017

Smoking Kills

me texting my girlfriends:

me: god I am so tired today. A stupid spider set off a smoke alarm which triggered the rest of the alarms. It was AWFUL. But somehow the baby slept through the whole thing. So she got a good night's rest.
lb: don't spider's know not to smoke?
me: apparently not
michele: smoking kills
jeanne: spiders are stupid
lb: seriously though, explain the smoking spider

Thursday, September 14, 2017

Call Me!

These are the phone numbers that I can rattle off no problem:

  • mine
  • dr soc
  • my parents' house
  • work's public line if i think about it for a second  


  • my ex fiancé's

And here's why. A friend had left her cell in my pool bag and neither one of us realized it until she and my ex were at work. She couldn't call her fiancé to get it from me because she didn't know his number. (I ended up dropping it off at work-which was not on the way- before I went out of town. ie: I'm a good friend) My ex was astounded she didn't know her fiancé's number, but I came to her defense. Ever since cell phones became the norm no one's really had to memorize a phone number since it's stored in your contact list. After all I didn't know his number off the top of my head.

He was gobsmacked (and pissed). How could I not know his number? After all, he knew my number! (but not the exact date of my birthday) And his phone number was so easy too! It was one number different than the area code and then 2 other numbers! How could his fiancé not know his number!?

Well I once heard you have to repeat something (at least) 21 times before it's committed to memory. Being the mature young 20-something I was at the time to shut him up I started reciting his phone number. Twenty-one times.

me: 513-xxx-xxx. 513-xxx-xxx. 513-xxx-xxx...
::while following him around the apartment:: After the 10th time or so-
ex: okay, okay, I get it!
me: nope, it's gotta be 21 times before I remember. Great now I've lost count and have to start over.
me:-sigh-: 513-xxx-xxx. 513-xxx-xxx. 513-xxx-xxx. 513-xxx-xxx. 513-xxx-xxx....

Yup. But, hey, I learned his phone number. Which came in handy when I drunk texted him the holidays after we broke up.