Monday, December 31, 2012

2012 Recap

Ok, I know it's a cliche to do a best of/year in review, but I had some big life events (with pictures!) so i feel the need to share. The cliff notes version of my 2012:
Went to the Kentucky Derby:
best bachelorette party ever!
Married the love of my life
the date, the venue and the happiest couple in the world all in one picture
with the best bridal party possible
the people that mean the most to us
and the coolest groom's cake ever
it was the talk of the reception!
I turned 30
Yep. 30. 
 Then we went to Costa Rica on our honeymoon: 
my favorite honeymoon picture
I started graduate school:
My first 1st day of school photo. Look how adorable I am! 
Became an aunt
Look how beautiful she is!
Went to a Panthers' game
too bad the Panthers didn't show up that night
and started 2 new library jobs:
We mean it when we ask "please don't re-shelve the books." Seriously,  don't put them back.
All in all, a very big and happy year for me! It was definitely busy, but overall wonderful. Hopefully 2013 is just as wonderful!
Here's one last picture for the year: 
Happiest day of my life
Happy New Years!


Saturday, December 29, 2012

Point of Clarification

Over Christmas dr soc and I were able to visit both sets of our parents, and my brother-in-law, his wife and our niece were able to make it to my in-laws the same time we were there for a visit. So some extended family were also over to visit and to meet the baby for the first time. I travel in yoga pants because they are comfortable and those are the only pants the baby has seen me in, but the last time the extended family saw me I was in a wedding gown.  When I realized this, I figured I better put on something a little less lounge around the house and a little more company's coming over.

me: Oh, people are coming over soon. I better put on some real pants.

--I change into an older (but still comfortable) pair of jeans. They just happen to have holes in both knees. I come downstairs in my new (old) pants. This was my mother-in-law's reaction upon seeing my jeans:

mil: I see you put on your nice jeans for us. 
me: Nope, I said I was going to put on real pants, not nice pants.

Monday, December 24, 2012

Holiday Card

In 2011, my 2012 Christmas card/gift plan was clearly wedding pictures. Really easy. Do you hear what I hear? Yeah, that's the holiday elves laughing at me.
And then 2012 actually happened. There were parties and trips and the wedding, starting grad school and two new jobs, hosting Thanksgiving for 7 people, grad school projects and readings, dog fights and dog training, a half marathon and 800+ professional wedding photos to go through. Needless to say, by the time December 2012 rolled around, I decided to scrap the holiday card in general becasue I had other things to do.
Except. That this is really the only year that I can send the wedding picture as a card. Next year using a wedding picture would not only be too late, it would be weird and attention whorey. Not to mention once the semester ended I had time to send cards though. And address lables already typed from the wedding guest list. So really I had no excuse for not sending Christmas cards except that I was tired and didn't want to sort through the 800+ wedding pictures.   
But, I got my act (sorta) together, ordered, ordered a 2nd batch, and between my husband's and mine several post office runs we got enough stamps, we sent out 91 of these things:

Somewhat on time even! (though the same can't be said about the timing of this blog post...) Most people got theirs right before Christmas too, so phew! It also helps that we live close to a Shutterfly printing place so we get our orders pretty quick. And now I can say I'm a grown up and we sent our Christmas cards!
So my 2012 plan for 2013 is to still send cards. But I'm not doing the picture again!*

*ok, at least no pictures until there are babies/children. After those come into the picture you, uh, send a picture.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Icing on the Cake

me: I have the gingerbread dough made, it just has to chill and then I can make the cookies.
mike: Cool. Do we have stuff to decorate the cookies?
me: -snort- No, you know I don't decorate cookies.
mike: You don't?
me: No.
mike: Oh yeah, we had this conversation last year... (sad face)

I don't decorate cookies. The closest I ever come to decorating is tossing a couple shakes of sprinkles on a cookie before they go in the oven. If a recipe calls for icing, glazing, rolling in sugar, or any other sort of  nonsense, forget it. Which is why my gingerbread usually looks like this:
Plain. But tasty 
But.
My husband loves icing. And I love my husband. And we're newlyweds so we still do sweet crap for each other like leaving notes in each other's lunch box and finding a recipe for royal icing for the gingerbread cookies. So this is what my gingerbread looks like this year: 

Fancy! And still tasty
Yep, I decorated the cookies this year! Not only that, I made the icing too. My husband looked so disappointed when he remembered I don't normally ice cookies that I couldn't bear to see him that way so I had to. They may not be the prettiest cookies ever, ok, even a little bit pretty, but my husband is happy. And that makes the best wife ever.

Thursday, December 6, 2012

Speed

The other day I left a message on our answering machine for my husband about dinner, and I listened to it before I erased it. Holy crap I talk fast. So I said to my husband:

me: So as I was listening to the message I left the other day about dinner, I realized two things:
One: wow, I really do sound like my mom.
And two: How on earth do you understand me?

Seriously, how does he?

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Crown Jewel

--while watching a commercial for jewelry ('tis the season!)--
mike: would you rather me replace an appliance that's broken or get you a $600 necklace?
--pause--
me: What's the appliance? Do we need it?

Sunday, December 2, 2012

Flight of the Nutcracker

mike: What are these? Oh, nutcracker napkin rings. --holds them up for me to see--
me: Those are cute. Oh, you know, I think my dad really likes nutcrackers. Maybe... for Christmas?
mike: Does he?  
me: I think so. Oh wait, maybe it's birds he likes...
--for some reason dr soc finds that hysterical, and starts laughing--
mike: What? No, those are not even close. At all.
me: Yeah, hmmm. I'm not really sure
mike: Seriously. At all. (still laughing) 

Long story shirt, we didn't get the napkin rings. And I still have no idea if my dad likes nutcrackers.

Friday, November 30, 2012

Decipher

student: So, like, my, like, can, um you, like, um, wait.
me (totally confused): Ok...
student: Ok, like, my teacher, like um someone, like, told like me you can um like, um order a like book, like like and um like um someone, like like um they'll like send it some-um-where like um here and like you I mean me can like, pick it, like up here like? Um, yeah
--15 seconds pass while I stare at him even more confused--
me: I have no idea what you just asked me.
student: oh, oh ok, like,
me: Ok, if you are asking if you can request a book or material online, the answer is yes. And if the material is available someone from our staff will pull it for you and we'll put it on our hold shelf for you to pick up. At least, that's what I think you were asking?
student: Yes! And like, where um do you pick it up? Like, right here? This desk? 
me: Yes, right here.
student: Oh my god, that is like so awesome! I'm going to go um request like so much right now. Thanks!
--walks away smiling ear to ear--
me: God help us.  

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Baby Fever

I'm sure it's not a huge surprise that I have a slight case of baby fever. I've always wanted children, I'm happily married, and I just turned 30. My husband doesn't have the same case of (ok, any) baby fever as me, so whenever he see's it start to rise, he tells me not to get any ideas at the moment. Right now there's this whole thing about getting my masters, starting my career and getting a job with benefits before actually having a baby. Apparently children completely change things?

Anyway, two of my friends told me they were pregnant on the same day. I am absolutely thrilled for both of them and can't wait to be an auntie (and let the kids get away with stuff). But here's how the day went:

--mike comes home--
me: So, Priya called...
mike: Is she pregnant?*    
me: YES!!!
mike: Awesome! Don't you be getting any ideas now.
me: Of course not! (lie)

--a few hours later I get an email--

me: Oh my god! Jeanne's pregnant again!
mike: Really? Well awesome for them too! 
me: Two of my best friends on the same day!
mike: Wow. But seriously, don't get any ideas.
me: Of course not dear. (lie!) But you know these things come in threes right?**
mike: uhhhh....

--a few hours later my brother-in-law gives dr soc a call and we face time with the baby. (she wowed us with her new motor skills of waving her arm.) Mike runs up the stairs to show me and we coo over her--

mike: Hi Ella! We love you!
me: Dude, you know how you said don't get any ideas. This? This right there? All you.

*He came to that conclusion much faster than me. When she left me a message to call her back, and since we really don't talk on the phone, my first thought as I was calling her back was that something was wrong. Then I realized that we are now at the age that a phone call is an announcement.
**They do! A few days ago another dear friend told me her third child will be debuting in June.***
***Yes, my husband is breathing a sigh of relief that 3rd isn't us!

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Newlyweds

As of yesterday, dr soc and I have been married for 6 months, and I've never been happier.
Six months down, forever to go!

Sunday, November 25, 2012

Safety First

My husband is the most cautious man in the world. He didn't have some major childhood trauma as far as I know, so I've always kinda wondered what made him so cautious and think of some things as much more fragile then they actually are. I've also told him he'll have to toughen up a little bit by the time we have kids because he is going to have a heart attack every time Sharktopus falls down or Dinocroc skins his knee and that will weaken it and eventually it will just flip him the bird on the way out the door screaming "I give up!" and leave me a widow and I will have to kill him if he does that.

However, he is also the best sociologist ever and has this thing about gender equality, so he thinks my sister's husband's plan to build their (eventual) son a tree house, but their (eventual) daughter a play house safely on the ground.is a tad on the sexist side. So in this case his sociology side outranks his safety first side.

This Thanksgiving, both my parents and my in-laws were here and somehow my brother-in-law's tree house/play house plan came up. My mother in law however, jokingly (well, I hope, jokingly) thinks this is a good idea. And then she says, "well, we were very cautious parents."

And suddenly, my husband made so much more sense!

Wednesday, November 21, 2012

People

When I was in college a roommate asked my how stayed so skinny. I made a crack about being bulimic, serious concern washed over her face and I made a note to self: bulimia jokes not funny yet.

Last weekend at my library job:

coworker: You're eating another cookie? How are you so thin?
me: I throw it up later.
coworker: Hahaha!
me: Yes! I found people who think bulimia is funny! I found my people!

Thursday, November 15, 2012

Dream a Little Dream

I had a dream the other night that I was Anne Boleyn and Mike was Henry VIII. He was kissing me and promised he would love me forever as long as I gave him a son.
I thought in my dream: well shit I know how this turns out.  

Monday, November 5, 2012

Savannah Here I Run!

So, y'all I ran my 6th half marathon on Saturday. I finished with a time of 2:17:15, not my best time (2:05:00), but not my worst time either (2:28:something). I wasn't trying to win the thing, I didn't come in last, so I'm nothing but happy with it.

I signed up to run the the marathon in Savannah like I did last year, but I just wasn't training for a marathon right. With starting grad school and the two library jobs at the same time, I wasn't really making an effort to train for a full. I didn't want to do a marathon unprepared knowing that if i did I would hurt just as much* as I did last year, so I decided to drop to the half distance when I still had the time to do that training right.

Except that I didn't train for the half that well either, what with the working (almost) full time and going to grad school full time. I still got some but not nearly enough practice runs in to stay in runner shape, but the longest long run I did was 7 miles. But! This was my sixth, so even though I knew it would hurt, (and it does**) I still knew I could still finish. There wasn't a mental hurdle for me to cross, and that was good.

And I have to say, I love race day. I love the energy, the excitement just before the starting gun (or air horn in this race) goes off. I love the yells, cheers and signs of support from the crowd. I love how complete strangers support each other through the race, pushing each other on and offering words of encouragement  I'm not a super fan of the hurting afterwards, but eh, comes with the territory. Like I said, I'm very happy overall!      

Six halves! Go me!

*I couldn't walk. My husband (then fiance) had to carry me to the bathroom, and due to our strict closed door policy, I was sooooo screwed when I was done because I had to figure out a way to get to the sink to wash my hands, and then not only get to the door but somehow open it just so he could carry me back to bed.
**Not nearly as bad as last year though. I can still walk, which my husband has stated he likes it when I run halves better than a full since he doesn't have to carry me.

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

No Help

college kid: Can you help me find something?
me: I can try. What are you looking for?
ck: Well, I'm not sure exactly what is it, my teacher said something about it. It may be a book or a movie.
me: Is this a course reserve maybe?
ck: Maybe? Do they have anything on reserve?
me: I'll check, who's your teacher?
ck: Uh, crap, I don't know their name.
me: That's ok. We can try to find it another way. What's the title of what you're looking for?
ck: Um, I don't really know.
me: Author?
ck: Um, no.
me: A keyword? Anything?
ck: Um, not really.
me: Yeah, I can't help you.


Sunday, October 28, 2012

Stereotype

me: I put it off as long as possible. But I had to do an image search for "naughty librarian." Ugh, people are disgusting.
mike: Um, why?
me: Project 2 for class was information spaces or librarian stereotypes  I chose librarian stereotypes, and unfortunately, one of those stereotypes is dirty. I mean, when I say librarian, what's the image that comes to your mind?
mike: (smiling) Glasses and sexy as hell.
me: Nice. But before you married one.*
mike: (smiling sheepishly) Ok, yeah, glasses and old.
me: Yep.
mike: Interesting. So, what you get when you enter librarian into google?
me:  Old ladies with glasses shushing. Or slutty women in glasses in a short skirt. I guess it's hard to read if you have on pants.    

*Ok, one in training. Still counts enough for this conversation.

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

Vocab

We have laptops for people (students, staff and faculty) to check out for 24 hours at my academic library. Awesome right? Well not always, because sometimes all we have left are the older, slower computers and college kids can be so incredibly whiny.

A freshman turns in an older slower laptop, but before he turns it in he first asks if we have any macs. You have to wait 4 hours between laptop check ins and outs, so even if we did have any macs in he wouldn't have been able to have it at the moment anyway.  Instead of understanding the rules and just leaving it at that, he wanted to make it clear to me that macs are a far superior computer. So he says: Mac's aren't slow. Dells are though. This dell was abysmally slow.

I just shrugged my shoulders and said: Oh well.
But what I wanted to say was: Look at you using your SAT words like a big boy!

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Next Year

My husband is a die hard (long suffering) Browns fan.  And since I love my husband, I cheer right along side of him, unless they are playing Panthers. All bets are off when they are playing my Panthers, but that is   unlikely since they are in different conferences.

Anyway, one of the first things I learned as a Browns fan is the phrase "there's always next year." After watching my husband cringe and shake his head while watching games, I've used it a decent amount. But it can only go so far as to comforting, especially if it is the beginning of the season..

The other day were watching a game and the Browns were, well, the Browns. 

me: It's ok honey, there's always next year.
mike: It IS next year!

So it looks like I have a few more things to lean as a Browns fan. Like, that "there's always next year" is a 2nd half of the season phrase. Duly noted.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Heal

Healing can take a very long time. Not only physically, but also emotionally.
The dogs were at the sitter's last weekend and they got into a fight. They have gotten into fights before, but this is the first time one of the dogs had to go to the emergency vet, and the first time we weren't there to stop it. Before we've been able to pull them apart before either dog got harmed. If we don't break it up soon enough Bailey will try to run away, but Jules has a scrappy/feisty streak and will keep going after Bailey. This fight Bailey fought back, chomped Jules' neck and Jules went to the emergency vet with some deep puncture wounds. It was incredibly lucky that while the wounds are deep, none of them needed stitches and there doesn't seem to be tissue damage either. While Jules was shaken up for a while, her spirits have mostly returned to normal.  And we're also lucky that Jules didn't hurt Bailey either. Despite their size difference  it could only take one well (or ill) placed bite to take a dog down or cause some serious harm.

But.

Jules looks really bad. They had to shave her neck to get a better look at things, so you can see all the wounds and scratches and they are ugly. It's hard to see Jules with her wounds and know how lucky she was. It's also hard to look at Bailey knowing that she did that.  We honestly don't know who started the fight to begin with, but it doesn't matter. It's hard to come to terms that if the unthinkable had happened, we would have lost not one, but both our girls.

All four of us are hurting from this.  Jules is hurting from her wounds but she's also a smidgen more timid now. Bailey is confused because she's being treated as a problem dog and being blamed for everything again. It hurts my husband to see Jules hurt and Bailey's to blame. And I hurt for the same thing, but also because I'm back to being on defense for Bailey, but also completely scared I'm going to loose not just her but possibly both my dogs.    

It's so much bigger than me and Bailey anymore. I know that Bailey and Jules are just dogs, but they are my family. And I would do almost anything in the world to save my family except give up on them. Someone I work with's daughter is a miracle worker dog trainer, and we're going to start some hard core expensive training for all 4 of us. We could have sent them away for a few weeks but miracle worker is booked until mid-December (probably because she's a miracle worker), so we're opting to start the private lessons sooner. Plus that option is much more hands on for us humans which is something I think we all need. Jules' physical wounds are more than likely going to take a fairly long time to heal and that's just something we're going to have to be patient with. But I'm really hopeful that this training will help heal our little family up too.  

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Desperato

Never tell a 20 year old college student that you met your husband on eharmony. 
Because their response will be: Really? Yeah, maybe I'll do that one day, you know, if I was, like desperate. 
Yep. 

Friday, October 5, 2012

Proud

So. Like I said in my last post, I'm in grad school and I'm busy.  But the work isn't hard, it's just time consuming. I don't have tests, just lots of projects.  The most recent one I just turned in was 2 short videos of me talking and demonstrating how to use a database for one of my classes. My husband was asking about them, and as I started to explain them, I realized it would be easier to just show them to him. So without any hesitation I pulled them up and he watched my presentations.

And I realized after he viewed them that I would have never done that with my design work. I was never really that proud of my work in general, and certainly never proud enough of my work to show it to anyone, let alone to anyone I love.  And while these two five minute presentations aren't exactly the same thing as a quarter long project, there I was, perfectly comfortable showing my work to the one of the people that I love most in to world.

I'm proud of my work. I've found what I want to do. I'm really happy I'm there.

Wednesday, October 3, 2012

Overwhelmed

I don't know how and even if I'm handling everything. Between the two jobs (almost full time work), and full time grad school, I'm tired. A lot. And I'm just getting more and more tired as the semester continues.

First let me say I love what I'm doing. I love both my library jobs. I can even get a little bit (I do mean little) of reading done for school at one of them, which is awesome. I mean, I'm getting paid while doing my school work, not to mention I just like being in the library in general. I love what I'm going to grad school, and the career that I'll have. I like my classes, everything is really applicable so I understand things, and part of me wishes I could be in classes forever if it meant that I would always be learning. (minus the debt and no free time thing)

But it's still a balancing act.  Keeping up with my reading and due dates. Trying (and quite honestly failing) to fit a run in (god this half* is going to hurt). Walking the dogs so they loose the extra weight (the good news though is that Jules is down almost a full lb, so the walks are working). I've realized that there is always something to be done, some reading, some project, and I'm just going to have to push past the tiredness and work my ass off for the next 2 years.

But the overwhelmed feeling comes pretty quickly. An upcoming deadline and getting little work done before it stresses me out. Knowing I have to work ahead when I'm already behind. And what used to be a simple task, such as starting a load of laundry before I head off to work, or even what to make for dinner, throws me into a complete tail spin of stress and woe. And whenever someone mentions anything fun that I want to do, my first thought is sadly, I won't have the time for that. But oh well, that's life for me this moment. I just have to get over being overwhelmed and just soldier through like every other person trying to make it through life.

*I dropped to the half marathon in Savannah instead of the full marathon since I wasn't getting in the runs for a full.  But I still have to train for the half regardless.

Tuesday, October 2, 2012

Fatten Up

Mike and I were watching the Panthers/Falcons game at a sports bar with some friends, and the Panthers made a play that the whole place started cheering and clapping, ourselves included. Then I hear this loud "PING" of some kind of metal hitting the floor, and out of the corner of my eye I see that that ping was Mike's wedding band FLYING OFF HIS HAND.

I see my husband leap up, his ring land under a bar stool, so I stand there and be helpful by pointing at it my mouth agape and clutching my chest. Within a matter of 30 seconds he has his ring back on his finger and he's back to sitting down, meanwhile, I'm still clutching my chest and nearly hyperventilating breathing a billion sighs of relief.

If this happens again we'll have to get his ring re-sized. Or I could just try to fatten him up by using more butter.  Either way it better not come off again!

Friday, September 28, 2012

100 updated things about myself

When I started this blog 4 years ago I did a 100 things about myself as a way of introducing myself to the blogospher. And since lots of things have happened in that past 4 years I figured it was time for an update. Blue are new, or things I have updated/or added more snark to.  Enjoy!

  1. My favorite color is (still), pink
  2. I’m a complete girly girl
  3. I’m really 5’4 1/2”, but I claim I’m 5’5”
  4. My lucky number is 4
  5. I prefer even numbers over odd.
  6. I'm a talker. No ifs ands or buts about it.
  7. If I’m not talking, I am only one of two options A: exhausted or B: mad as hell
  8. I can keep a secret in that I won't tell someone the actual secret itself. But I can't keep that I have a secret, secret.  
  9. I'm in graduate school pursuing my masters in library and information studies. I will know everything
  10. I am trying to take over the world one circulation desk at a time.
  11. Though very happily married to the love of my life, I don’t believe in “the one”
  12. I moved 20 times in the 10 years. My next move will be in the ground
  13. My default favorite ice cream and cake flavor is strawberry. The main reason: It's pink.
  14. My favorite pie of all time is blueberry. 
  15. I have two dogs, who I love dearly, even though they are both so so naughty and spazztastic.
  16. I don't think I could ever have another puppy, despite my husband's claim that our kids will convince me other wise. 
  17. I cry weddings. But not as much as I thought I would at my own. I was doing great at the rehearsal until Mike lost it and it was sob city the rest of the night.
  18. Mike, who has his PhD in sociology, married the worst sociologist ever much to his chagrin.
  19. I love to cook and am always trying new recipes.
  20. I consider a cookbook an awesome gift
  21. Though my baked good may not turn out super pretty, they at least usually turn out super tasty.
  22. One of my biggest pet peeves is a picky eater over the age of 7.
  23. I will try almost anything food wise at least once.
  24. But I loathe cooked carrots, I cannot get past the texture.  It's the same reason I won't eat pate.  
  25. Though the reason I can't eat eel is mental. 
  26. My husband and I both get super cranky if we don't eat at regular intervals. It's how we know we'll always take care of each other.
  27. Lace is my favorite fabric
  28. I have spent around $100 (give or take) at almost every single Victoria’s Secret semi annual sale I have been too.
  29. I have a lot of underwear, clearly
  30. I got the saying “clearly,” from Jeanne
  31. I do whatever Jeanne tells me
  32. I have some of the best, most supportive friends in the world. I'm really lucky in that way.
  33. I met my husband through eharmony, and it was worth ever penny.
  34. I’m allergic to cats
  35. I love twitter.
  36. I can't speak another language. I took both French and Spanish in college and I get the two mixed up all. the. time.
  37. I love roller coasters, but I most definitely can't handle them like I could when I was a kid.
  38. I don't like the enclosed water tube slides anymore. I somehow developed a slight fear of becoming stuck in one, so decided that I am 30 and I don't have to like them if I don't want to.
  39. My appendix ruptured and had to be removed when I was 6
  40. I had my belly button pierced until I was 21; I took it out after a drunk wrestling match went horribly, horribly wrong
  41. I don’t have any tattoos
  42. Honestly, I think 99% of tattoos are unnecessary. My exception here, is the Olympic ring tattoo. 
  43. I am an Olympic junkie. I love the summer ones more, but London I couldn't get enough coverage.
  44. Water polo? Is like, the coolest thing to watch. However, handball, is lame.
  45. I think Bob Costas is an ass.
  46. I don't think there's a point in being mean just to be mean.
  47. I have cut my hair and donated it 3 times so far.
  48. I am a born and bred proud Kentucky girl. I love all things bourbon, the Derby, and my Wildcats.  
  49. Wine is one of my favorite foods. 
  50. Wine goes strait to my head and then makes me sleepy
  51. Laugh all you want, but being a light weight doesn't suck.
  52. I cannot parallel park
  53. I think poetry and most song lyrics are an absolute waste on me
  54. I think “Sweetest Day” is a bull shit holiday. (unless you buy my chocolate honey. that's cool)
  55. I don’t play sports with balls and teams, but I do love going to sporting events. Mainly for the food.
  56. I love my Carolina Panthers!
  57. Because I love my husband very much, I cheer for the Browns as well (unless they are playing the Panthers. All bets are off when it comes to my Panthers).
  58. I love fantasy football. Seriously
  59. My husband has himself an excellent football wife.
  60. Hubby and I are the only people who do not watch American Idol
  61. But we love watching countdowns on the NFL network and so bad they are awesome syfy movies.
  62. My husband hates the term hubby, yet I continue to use it.
  63. I do need my coffee in the morning to function, but I truly enjoy it as well
  64. I bite and/or pick at my nails when nervous or stressed.
  65. I'm always slightly disappointed when I open google and it's not a google doodle.
  66. I think google is trying to take over the world, and I'm totally ok with that.
  67. I think rude people are unnecessary
  68. I have wide (yet tiny) feet.
  69. I believe in karma.
  70. I don’t judge my friends and as much as I used to in general.
  71. But I still judge a lot more than most.
  72. I hate picking out paint colors
  73. I may never look back on my time in daap fondly or with rose colored glasses. I worked my ass off and it was absolute fucking hell. 
  74. However, I made some of my best friends ever there, so it wasn't a total wash.
  75. I’ve run 5 half-marathons and one full one by now.
  76. I do consider myself a runner, albeit a slow one.
  77. I am an excellent hostess and throw a really good bridal and baby shower.
  78. Not being allowed to help with my own bridal shower drove the party planner in me nuts.
  79. I will never sky dive, because it scares the ever living crap out of me.  And I have forbidden my husband from ever doing so as well because I see no reason to jump out of a perfectly good airplane.
  80. I have also forbidden him from swimming with sharks, getting a motorcycle, or anything else that could get him maimed, even though I'm now on his life insurance.   
  81. Text talk is a pet peeve of mine and Mike's. When I got a text message with you-s instead of u-s from him, I took it as a sign to keep him.  
  82. I’m terrified of snakes. TERRIFIED.
  83. While I'm not super terrified of spiders and can kill them myself, I still prefer that my husband kill the really big ones. 
  84. I used to know all sorts of pop culture stuff, but now, I can't even tell you who's in the top 40. But I can tell you about the awesome story I heard on NPR.
  85. I big poofy heat love NPR. I also got "big poofy heart love" from Jeanne.
  86. Target is my happy place.
  87. Patience is a virtue I am slowly learning in dealing with my dad's disease.
  88. At 26 I became so much stronger than I ever realized I could be.
  89. I have the worst passport photo ever
  90. Somewhere down the road there I turned into my mother, but not quite as neurotic. Yet.
  91. I don’t really trust vegans.
  92. But I don't trust girls without girlfriends most of all.  
  93. I will watch any move with a dance sequence.
  94. I think loneliness is one of the most heart breaking things in the world.
  95. But I believe that hope is one of the most powerful and amazing things to exist
  96. I’m a silver lining kind of girl
  97. I do believe in the inherent good of people and that most mean the best intentions; it just doesn’t always come through.
  98. Sometimes I think I'm actually a grown up
  99. I cannot live without laughter.
  100. I believe in a happy ending
TADA!!

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Ummm, No

A couple gems from work:

scene: A student was checking out the English Patient dvd.
me: I tried to read this, but I just didn't have the time to do so.
student: Oh? They made a book after the movie?*
me: Umm, no.

Another student a few hours later, checking out a the dvd on Lolita:

student 2: I really like Kubrick's movies. Especially Eyes wide shut. It's about a married couple and their problems. I thought it must be really true to life, marriages and their troubles. You know, because all marriages have some sort of problem.
(I decided to ignore both those quips since I am a newlywed and married life is perfect. And I also thought Eyes Wide Shut was a stupid movie )
me: I'm fairly indifferent to his work. But this book (Lolita) is really good.**
student 2: Did you read it? I think I know what it's about It's about a man and a woman, and they're like, really crazy about each other and in love, right?
me: Umm, no. No. Not at all.

*Made a book. Not wrote a book. Made.
**It is, it's a beautifully written novel. But you certainly don't go around telling people that you enjoyed a fiction book told from the perspective of a pedophile.

Tuesday, September 25, 2012

Seriously

Michele: So, tell me about your classes. How many are you taking this semester again?
me: I've got 3 this semester. They're all online in a way, one's completely online and the other 2 we have a set meeting time online as well.
Michele: Wow, all online, that must be pretty convenient.
me: It is, I can read when I have time, and as long as I get things turned in before the deadline I'm good. I don't even have to put on pants to "go" to class! But I do. Because I can't take myself seriously without pants.

Monday, September 24, 2012

Aunt

I'm an aunt!

My husband's brother's wife (I don't think she's my sister-in-law) had our niece at a little after 8 am this morning, so I'm aunt by marriage. But I don't care, I'm an aunt, for real now!

Welcome little girl, I can't wait to meet you!

Saturday, September 22, 2012

Dog's Day Out

Last week Mike was vacuuming the house for Jeanne and Matt's and kids visit,when I heard the phone ring. I didn't recognize the number, but I asked my husband to stop for a second and picked up the phone.  The caller confused me at first by starting the conversation with telling me she was around the corner, but she had my full undivided attention when she told me our dogs were loose. Turns out the fence gate had been slightly open and they had escaped, and we were none the wiser.

I thanked the caller profusely and promptly told my husband the girls were loose, to which he immediately ran out the door to find them. I grabbed my shoes, their leashes and followed suit. It probably only took less than 60 seconds to reach them, but it was a long 60 seconds.  Because even though I knew everyone was ok and that it would be fine, it's still a moment of panic when you realize that your beloved dogs aren't where you thought they were and you didn't keep them safe.

The caller and girls were right where they said they were, and they both looked as happy as clams with big, tongue lolling goofy grins on their faces while they they sniffed the other dogs (who were probably the same dogs they had seen and had escaped the yard to get to). And when they saw mommy and daddy running towards them they got even happier, enjoying their escape, none the wiser they had scared the ever living crap out of.

As I was sprinting towards the girls (and I am not a sprinter, I'm a distance runner) it took me about 15 seconds to realize that the caller had called the home number on Bailey's id's tag that she always, always wears. I used to scratch her name and my cell number on the back of her licence when we lived in Kentucky, but it was pretty crude id. Once we moved to North Carolina and got settled, I got her an engraved one with her name and our contact information.  Bailey's also micro chipped, but that would only come in handy if she was taken to a shelter and they scanned her.  Jules has an id tag as well, but she doesn't wear it all the time (oh believe me, she does now), and she also wasn't micro chipped either until 2 days ago. So we're even more lucky that the girls stayed together when they escaped, or else we might have not gotten them both back. 

Anyway, once we reached them, we leashed them up and took them the short walk back home. They pranced all the way back. Of course they did. Of course they did.

Wednesday, September 19, 2012

At Auntie's House

Last Saturday my good friends from college stopped by on thier way home from thier family vaction at the beach. I was really excited to see them becasue they had never seen my house, but I also hadn't seen thier kids (in person) in over a year since their little dude's baptism when he was 3 months old and thier daughter was almost 2 and a half.  So lots of stuff had changed, except that the kids are just too adorable for words.

Anyway, we were showing them the house and we were looking for a spot for the three year old to maybe take a rest later. At some point the three year old, a crazy dog and I were sitting on the daybed we have in one of our rooms. I'm holding crazy dog back a little so she won't spazz the child off the bed, and N discovers that the day bed is a really good bouncy bed.

So there's N bouncing on the bed, her curls flying around and she says excitedly: this is a really good bouncing bed!
me: I bet you can't do that in your house can you?
N: No!
me: Ok. 

--And let her continue bouncing. Becasue I am an awesome auntie--

That is one smart cookie. She totally knew her limits in that she can't bounce on the bed at her house, but it's cool at my place.  Then later when both of them were upstairs and my husband went to check on them, she and her brother/partner in crime were bouncing again, having a great time.*

Fun times!

*We really didn't care. We probaly won't let Sharktopus and Dinocroc bounce on the beds at home, but that's becasue of it's thier home and there are rules. But that's ok becasue they can always bounce on the beds at thier auntie's houses!

Thursday, September 13, 2012

Casanova

Our next door neighbors (not the ones I hoped were related to the president. The other side) broke up the same time Mike and I were sending out our wedding invites. (Seriously, we were about to hand them theirs when the guy told us he was moving out.) Apparently it hadn't been working for a while, she's really focused on her career and has to travel a lot for it, but they are going to try to remain friends.  Sure. That's what they all say, until one person starts seeing someone else.  But they were together 5 years, probably weren't ready to throw in the towel completely, and every now and again we would see the guy's truck in the driveway. Mike or I (sometimes both) would notice and comment to each other, wondering if a reunion was possible. 

But one morning a while back as I was leaving for work, I noticed someone had left a bouquet of flowers on the windshield her work car. (When we see that car we know she's home since it's parked on the street or in her driveway.) And the flowers had been placed there after a bunch of people had been over, but none of those cars had been the guy neighbor's truck.  But we did notice one car in particular stayed longer than all of them.  And that it showed up again a few weeks later, and so did another bunch of flowers after it left. 

Hmmm. How intriguing. So now whenever Mike or I sees the Casanova car we point it out to the other and we are just downright curious of who this Casanova is. Speculating who it is, how they met, if truck neighbor knows and how he feels, or is he's Casanova-ing someone else too.

You know, it's kinda fun spying on the neighbors!

Monday, September 10, 2012

Required reading

I'm in grad school. There is a lot of reading in grad school. A LOT.  I knew this going into it. 
My co worker (from the library) in a MLIS program a few years ago did not.

coworker (seeing her reading list): Oh my god! Do they really expect me to real all of this?
me and another (library) co-worker: Yes!

And with that, I leave you to finish a few more chapters!

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Late Night Phone Calls

My home phone rang at 11:50 pm last night. And at my age you answer the call form a number you don't recognize because you just hope that it's not an emergency.

It was not an emergency. It was giggly, sloppy drunk dial from the Raleigh/Chapel Hill area, jabbering something about frank and an order.

Relief that it' not an emergency quickly transitions into annoyance. But I told them they had the wrong number and got ready to hang up. But drunk and disorderly on the line doesn't understand and tries to dispute that with a "are you shhhhuuul you're not Frank? Like, really sure?"

Yeah. I'm sure. So that I responded with a groan and a why am even I talking to you you idiot? and hung up.

My guess is they were probably going to call back and tell me off, but then they passed out since my phone didn't ring again. I just hope that kid's hangover tomorrow is hell.

Friday, September 7, 2012

Karma

Yesterday I broke down and picked up chickfila on my way home from work. I say broke down because while I wasn't making an effort to boycott them, I also wasn't going out of my way to give them my business.  I was more so surprised at the recent media frenzy everything turned into more so than what the media frenzy was about. I mean, the company closes on Sundays so everyone can go to church, I figured their stance on homosexuality was the pink elephant in the room.

Anyway. I was tired after work, it was on my way home, and I didn't want to make lunch for myself. So I stopped in for a quick and easy lunch.  I got my usual nuggets, but what I really wanted was the lemonade for some reason. No one made any kind of scene, I ordered, it was processed in a timely fashion and I was on my way.  

Well. The homophobic chicken was almost strait from the hate fryer so I ended up burning my mouth.  And then the lemonade mixed with something and tasted way off.

Pretty sure that was god's way of telling me to not eat homophobic chicken anymore. Duly noted.

Monday, September 3, 2012

Pants Always Beats No Pants

I need new pants for work. I have a decent amount of dress pants, but I don't really need to go that formal for my jobs. (both of which I cannot wait to start) I have 2 pairs of khaki/twill pants that I could wear, but that's it, I have 2 pairs and I need to wear them throughout the week. I have some capris that work in the summer, but it's not summer anymore. Not to mention I'm still searching for comfortable yet professional shoes and not old lady shoes that don't pinch.

But I don't have the funds to fortify my wardrobe. And even if I did have them, trying to find pants that fit is a whole 'nother mater. Because I wear a 0-2, sometimes a 4, depending on the brand. And do you know hard that is to find that size in women's clothing? Yeah you can find them in the juniors section, but I am 30, and I am not shopping in the teenage section.

I know, the skinny girl can't find pants that fit her, boo-fcking-hoo. I'm sure there are many people who would love to be at my end of the spectrum. But all I'm saying is skinny people can have problems finding clothes that fit too.      

Saturday, September 1, 2012

Oil spill

Last night I was cooking dinner like I normally do and as I was getting the olive oil out of the cupboard, the cap came off on my hand (it must not have been on very tight) and the bottle slipped from my grasp.  The bottle hit the counter top then the floor, where the glass, almost full bottle broke and emptied it's contents all over my kitchen floor.

The first thing I tell Mike to do is keep the dogs away, there's broken glass on the floor but we also don't want them to investigate and get their paws coated in oil and track it through the house.  Eventually we end up crating them just because we just couldn't keep them away.

Well, neither one of us knows how to clean up a spill this big, so I gingerly walk over to the computer (I have oil spattered on my feet too) and google search how to clean an olive oil spill. I clicked on this really wordy solution that was way more like to hear themselves talk than actually tell me how to clean. But I was able to pick out the key word corn starch and could figure out what to do from there without having to read the rest of the jabbering.

By now Mike has picked up the large glass chunks and the shards have been swept up as well, but we've also been sweeping the oil around too. I gingerly walk around the kitchen island, awkwardly grab the corn starch, and proceed to dump it all over my kitchen floor, much to the complete and utter glee of my inner child. I stepped right in the cornstarch puddle to soak up the oil from my feet, and resumed cooking while we waited for the rest oil to soak up. (it was draft night for both my fantasy teams, there was a schedule to keep!)

Then 5 minutes later must have I decided the mess wasn't big enough so I fumbled and emptied the box of spaghetti over the kitchen floor too! I mean, what the hell? How on earth did I manage to make not one, but two epic messes in the span of 5 minutes?  I look at the spaghetti strewn around my floor on top of the cornstartch layer with my mouth agape, and I look up to see my husband with the exact same look.

And with that, he says: "you are NOT allowed to drink during the draft tonight."
Agreed.

Thursday, August 30, 2012

Take Me Away

I wish I got to go on more weekend getaways. Really just more vacations in general.  It sounds easy enough to pack a bag and drive to a new destination a couple hours away.  Not to mention we live within a couple hours of the beach and the mountains, so there's a decent amount of destinations in our radius.

But unfortunately it's not that simple or that cheap for us.  First we have to find someone to watch the dogs. My work schedule when I worked retail was all over the place so planning some time off is a process.  And there's the financial aspect of it. While the groupon getaways* themselves are fairly reasonable and we've had good luck with the two we've used, there are other costs that add up. The gas to get there, eating out, any activities we do, the dog sitter/boarding, all of that adds up. The wedding and honeymoon are over (and paid for), but we just put several hundred (several, several hundred) dollars into my car to fix it, and I need a crown (and not the pretty sparkly kind princesses wear either) in a month which, *cries*.  And extra income is being allocated into accounts for school,** paying off my credit card, and rebuilding dinocroc's braces fund*** (savings), not vacay.

We just took our honeymoon which was great and much needed. But there probably won't be many more instances like where we can both take time off like that.  Or really any time off for that matter.  Now with me being in school full time and working 3/4 time between 2 part-time jobs (and no benefits!), my schedule is packed.**** Hopefully by the time I receive my masters I'll have a full time job (with benefits), which would definitely alleviate a lot of the school/work balancing stress, but that's also around the time to start family planning (and balancing in a whole different sort of way).  And then there's the part that once we have kids, we'll need to find a baby/pet sitter,* or take a family vacation.  Which don't get me wrong, I'm really looking forward to those because they'll be fun and great in their own way. But they certainly aren't quite as romantic as couple vacation.

But oh well, that's life. It's not the end of the world that I don't get to go on vacation. I just wish I had a few more of them or weekend getaways under my belt. That's all.

*I had to unsubscribe from the groupon getaways since it was making me sad seeing all the possibilities and knowing they're a no go. Great for the honeymoon deal. Not so good for everyday.
**we're trying to do grad school on no or minuscule amount of loans. And while I hope to be in school for only 2 years so it's not a huge strain financially, but it's a stressful way to go through school feeling like you're just an expense.
***fingers crossed they get my eyesight and my teeth since I didn't need braces.  And yeah my eyesight isn't great but Mike's is worse, so mine is definitely the lesser of two evils.
****I'm not in the plan my days in half hour increments mode yet, but it's around the corner.
* We're always going to have to find some sort of pet sitter anyway though since we definitely plan on having a family dog. But it still won't be a puppy.

Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Diet

So the dogs are on a diet. Yep, you read that right. The dogs. Mike thought Jules was looking a little bigger so we weighed both girls the other night. They've both put on 5 lbs. (If we're being honest so I have I, but I'm happily married so I can let everything go now)  For Bailey 5 lbs isn't as huge a weight gain as it for Jules proportionally, but for Jules 5 lbs is 25% of her body weight. Eep!

It's not too hard to figure out how this happened. They get a lot of treats and not so much exercise. Treats to go in their crates. Treats to come inside. Treats to go outside. Treats to distract them from barking at the neighbors (which, for the record, does not work). Peanut butter in the morning to take an allergy pill. And momma is really bad about "dropping" cheese every time I cook with it. (and I wonder why they stay around my feet when I cook).

As for the exercise... summer is hot as balls in North Carolina, so it's somewhat difficult to find a time when it's not too hot/dark to take a w-a-l-k to work off all those t-r-e-a-t-s. And playing with them is also difficult because they like to play differently, (one likes fetch, the other likes keep-away) but if they realize you are playing with the other one, they get jealous and want to play with you too. They both like tug of war, but that's even more difficult to navigate between those two than the fetch/keep-away juxtaposition. Not to mention they fight over toys. Real, scary, snarling, biting actual dog fights.

The good news is that we noticed the weight gain now before they got really obese. It's cooling off in the day time so an afternoon walk is a possibility. But if I have to get up earlier in the morning when the temperature is right and carry a flashlight with me to pick up after them to take them around the neighborhood I will.  And sadly no more treats for them, the dentastick being the exception because it takes care of their teeth (and their breath is disgusting) And they only get those after walk.

My poor tubby girls. Diets suck!*
Who you calling tubby momma? We just a little bigger boned!
*At least that's what I've heard. I've never been on an actual diet. **
** I know. I'll shut up now.

Tuesday, August 28, 2012

Easiest Job Search

So. I got an additional library job. No biggie.
--snort-- I'm totally kidding y'all this is a huge 'effing deal for me!

The librarian at my husband's branch heard that the circulation manager at UNCC needed some part time non (UNCC) student (I'm UNCG). She thought of me, I gave her my resume to forward along, and I just accepted the job a few hours ago! Easiest job search yet!
I immediately went down the chain of command squealing my news. First Mike, then my mom, my sister (via gchat) and then twitter. And then I emailed my new boss at the public library with my new availability. Fortunately, the academic library job has set hours, and my public library job will work with me.
THANK GOD.  I can do both! And go to grad school! And quit my retail job!

Things are starting to really, truly line up for me right now.  I'm in school to start my career, I have not one but 2 jobs in places I want to be.  I don't want to be boast too much because I don't want to jinx any of this. But I do feel like I can breath a little easier now!

Friday, August 24, 2012

The itsy bitsy spider

I'm not terrified of spiders.  Now by no means do I like them. But I can see one, not freak out too bad and kill it need be. I don't point and scream spider! and wait for my husband to run in and kill it with his shoe. BUT. I will say having a husband who will kill them for me is quite nice.  And there are always exceptions because turns out I am quite scared of the really big ones.

Like when we were on our honeymoon. Every now and again we had a few spiders in in our room which didn't surprise me that much since we were in the rainforest. Most were small and whoever saw it first took care of it. But one time I when I opened the drapes there was this huge spider that was hiding behind them. 

me: -pointing and screaming- Honey! Spider! Really big spider! Get it!
mike: It's ok, I got it. -He heroically smacks it a few times with his shoe for good measure-
me: Phew! Thank you.
mike: You're welcome.
me: You know, I'm normally not that scared of spiders. But that one was huge!
mike: It was pretty big.
me: Yeah, that was definitely a "boy killing" spider.        

Tuesday, August 21, 2012

Smack talk

My neighbor had some friends over the weekend and they all brought their dogs over as well. Which, whatever, we have dogs, the neighbor has dogs and there's a fence to give boundaries and keep everyone with 4 legs and a wagging tail safe. 

When we let the dogs out after they ate, both Bailey and Jules ran to the fence to investigate the new people and dogs.  And Bailey's way of greeting (both dogs and humans) is a "bark head off first think later" approach.  Which riles up her sister, and now we have two spazztastic dogs who can't be distracted and won't come back to the house when called, even with the lure of tasty treats.   And two spazztastic dogs in full spazztastic mode can be somewhat dangerous because it has lead to fights and someone inevitably ends up hurt. So Mike and I navigate the minefield known as the backyard to pull the girls back from the fence and into the house.
So here we are, trying to get our dogs back under our control and we toss a hello to the people in that I would stop and talk to you but you can clearly see that I've got something else going on and you understand why we're not stopping to shoot the breeze sort of way.  When one of the guys sees that Mike is wearing a Browns T-shirt (which is the status quo here since that's 80% of his t-shirt collection), his way of greeting us over the barking and spazzing is to announce that he was going to invite us over to have a beer until he saw the Browns shirt.

Which, really? It's not that I don't get sports rivalries and that I've never teased someone based on their sports affection (case in point, my husband is a Browns fan, teasing is nothing knew here). But really, that's the way you say hello to people you haven't actually even met, sports ball busting? We don't know you, and he's a guest at our neighbors home with no real invite rights to begin with in the first place.

And while I know really nothing to get my panties in a twist about, I still thought that this guy using a sports jab in place of a hello made him an asshole.

Monday, August 20, 2012

HOA

The other day we received a violation letter from our HOA notifying us that our portable basketball hoop was in the wrong position, ie: the hoop must be perpendicular to the driveway and not facing the street.

Two things:
One: you're going to threaten to fine us for the wrong position of the moveable hoop?  Is a 90 degree turn really that egregious to warrant a fine?
And two, the much more pressing matter in my opinion: is that we don't have a basketball hoop.

Yeah.

Needless to say, my husband was none too pleased. So he called the company, wrote a letter and they called back saying "our bad" and the violation was erased and never happened.  But maybe as a good bussiness practice they should double check the address before they start slapping fines on people. Just saying.

Friday, August 17, 2012

football wife

me: Hey, isn't he (the kicker) franchised?
mike: Yeah. He's been there since '99, when the team started.
me: Hey, aren't you proud of me for knowing that?
mike: Yes!

Mike couldn't have asked for a better football wife! 

Thursday, August 16, 2012

Woot!

I'm going to work for the library again! I'm going to work for the library again!! I'm going to work for the library again!
Squeeeeeee!
So, anyway, I had an interview last week and I felt really good about it.  Actually really would get a job out of this round of interviews feel good about it. If you were one of the lucky ones who would be offered a position, the library would give you a call. If not, you would get a letter from HR.

I got a call :)

After accepting I immediately started jumping up and down and squealing. (of course I did).  And I wanted to share the news with everyone. But! My husband wasn't home yet because he was still teaching. And I figured this was the kind of news he should hear from me first and not via social media. (Though I'm totally going to tell him I'm pregnant via twitter when the time comes) Calling his office wouldn't do me any good since he was in a classroom, not to mention he would then have to go back to his office and check his voicemail which would add more time, and he turns his phone on silent when he teaches so texting him the news wasn't going to expedite the mass amounts of squeeing either. 

HOWEVER! I could text him to tell him to call me asap since I had good news. Yes! Brilliant! This is exactly one of the reasons I work at a library, because I can come up with brilliant plans like this!  So after squirming with excitement for an agonizing 15 minutes, he called, I squealed my good news. Then I promptly told my sister via gchat and called my mom.  Then to the interwebs! 

I guess you can tell I'm happy huh?

Sunday, August 12, 2012

Email

Remember how I was a little scared of my uk email address?  I thought I was over that completely by graduating and giving uc the bird.
Yeah. I have the same anxiety for my grad school email address too.
Dammit.

It's not a crippling sense of fear and you'll find me curled up in the corner rocking myself whenever I have to check my school email.  But as someone who checks 4 different email accounts 4 times a day the point of having to remind myself to check my grad school email something into itself. And then I have to search for a little bit of courage and will myself to do so, and I can't log off soon enough.

UK was NOT uc.
UNCG is NOT uc either.

I will not be fighting tooth and nail to flounder in grad school.  I will not doubt or struggle on my career choice. And I will not fail here. 
And yet, the smallest whimper escapes me when I have to check an email account.  Dammit.

Tuesday, August 7, 2012

Slap on the Wrist

So because I have a specific career in mind for myself and it requires a specific post graduate degree, I'm going to graduate school. That's exciting for me.  But it means I have other things going on in my life and my availability for work changed.  Which wouldn't be a problem if i didn't have a small (and small I really mean tiny) supervisor position at my job.
I like my job, I like my coworkers, and I don't want to come across as complaining because I'm not. But I don't want to advance in the company, so I had to give up my supervisor position. And I completely understand the company's standpoint on this, because they want to promote from within, and there are people who are not me that do want to move up in the company.  And it's not like I'm giving up my job completely and while it's a small pay cut, I still have a position.
This isn't a huge reorganization or a company announcement and will barely be a blip on the radar for my coworkers, if it even blips (is that even a word?) in the first place.  But a tiny part of me kinda feels like I'm getting a slap on my wrist for pursuing something higher for myself.

Name Game

--scene: at my bridal shower--
priya: if sharktopus and dinocroc, and I should clarify I mean the creatures, not your future children, were to get in a fight, who do you think would win?
me: I'm glad you clarified the syfy creatures and not the kids, because that was totally going to be my next question. Ok, I think Sharktopus would win in a fight, because not only can it walk on land, hide in shallow water despite it being a ginormous creature, and swim in the deep sea, so it could drag Dinocroc back to the sea and take it out there.
priya: Who do you think mike said would win?
me: Sharktopus
priya: Yep. He said the tentacles give sharktopus a tactical advantage.
my (at the time future) mother in law: Wait, what are those names again?
me: Sharktopus and Dinocroc.
mil: And how did you come up with that?
me: It was actually Mike. When we were battling for the naming rights of Jeanne's son one of my suggestions was Sharktopus, and Mike loved that one so much that he said really hoped it wouldn't get picked* so that we could have it for ourselves. He was quite adamant in that.
mil: Oh dear.
me: Yep.

I don't know if she was afraid that her future grandkids would actually** be named that, or that she was happy that her son found someone just as dorky as him and indulges his sea creature obsession. Probably little from column a and a little from column b. 
*It didn't. Eventually Scipio Africanus won out. Or 'Skip,' for short. Like you do.
**We're completely serious about this. Don't be stealing our names now.

Tuesday, July 31, 2012

My Olympic Score Card

Things I am over/confused about this Olympics:
  • Phelps and Lochte. (Yes, they're good swimmers. But there are other athletes in the Olympics.  And dude has a shoe with his name on it and a diamond grill. Him and everybody eles know he's arrived)
  • Ryan secrest there. What the fck is he doing at the Olympics anyway? Does he know the kardashians aren't there?
  • The exhorbanant amount of human interest stories they show during prime time.
  • Prime time Olympics
  • bob costas.
  • The obligatory Wills/Kate/Harry shot if they are at an event, (wonder if Harry feels like a 3rd wheel) and the subsequent kate fashion report card. (she always looks good in public, lets move on)
  • that it's a surprise the granddaughter of the queen, who owns the host country is on the Olympic team.  
  • The Walmart commercials that are a total rip off of the Ford commercials.
  • Volleyball, both beach and indoor. I find the amount of coverage it gets (at least an hour of prime time) far out weighs my interest it (10 minutes every 10 years). 
  • Referring to a silver or bronze medal as "loosing." Um no, it's still a medal, and whatever happened to the honor and dignity of just being able to compete in the first place?
Things I can't get enough of this Olympics:
  • the actual sporting
  • Adorable Missy Franklin
  • Seeing family members reactions when their people win.
  • The medal winners reaction to when their anthem is played.
  • Watching the slightly more obsure sports. Who knew I liked water polo? And kayaking? And the road race? I was riveted!
  • Synchronized diving
  • Being impressed by all the athletes athletic prowess.
  • Randomly cheering  USA! USA! while pumping my arms
  • My dvr. god bless dvr
  • Samuel L Jackson's twitter feed
  • The google doodles! Seriously, the Olympics and a new google doodle every day? It's two of my most favorite things ever!

Saturday, July 28, 2012

USA!!! USA!!!

So I'm glued to the tv for the next 17 days.  (seriously, I'm even typing during commercial breaks.)
Poor husband, my random outburst of USA! USA! and singing along to the Olympic fanfare made him turn around in surprise at first, but he's gotten used to my random cheers by now.

Anyway, one of my life goals is to go to a summer and winter Olympic games. I figure they'll be on American (or Canadian) soil again at some point in my life time, so this is a reasonable goal. (and since they announce these things 6-7 years in advance, we'll have plenty of time to save and plan)

Now I know it's too late for me to go as an athlete, I have no disillusions there. However, it is not too late for Sharktopus and Dinocroc to have a chance to go. So, I'm going to go tiger mom on my kids and they will become an Olympic athlete! That way Mike and I HAVE to go to the Olympics to support them!   Mike's totally behind me on this, he's even asked what obscure sport we could get them into at an early age to increase their chances.  This is a flawless plan.

USA!!! USA!!!

Friday, July 27, 2012

Ear Worm

mike: You coming to bed?
me: Yeah, just once second, I want to request the right cd from the library before I forget.
mike: Call me maybe?
me: Nooo. No....
mike: Mmmhmm.
me: No, really I'm not. Not call me maybe. More so... (small voice) Bieber.
--mike's mouth falls open--
me (defensively): You know I like teenage music.
mike: --hangs head in defeat-- Yes. Yes I do.
me: And you married me anyway. (snort) Sucker!

Wednesday, July 25, 2012

Shocked

One night on our honeymoon before dinner Mike and I were at the bar pre-gaming and practicing our spanish. (not really. well, we were pre-gaming, but not so much the 'practicing' as it was butchering, but that's neither here nor there)  The bartender asked me how old I was and I had to think about it for a second before I remembered: Oh, I just turned 30.

He was shocked by my youthful face. Whereas I was shocked that I'm now at the age that I have to remember how old I am.

Sigh

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Girl Power

mike: you're probably going to need a bigger suitcase for the honeymoon.
me: Really? I can fit a lot in this one.
mike: A week's worth of clothes in there?
me: Oh, well, now that you mention it... Clothes are no problem, but I do need to pack a lot of shoes, and those to take up a lot of room.
mike: What? How many pairs are we talking about here?
me: Well, beach shoes, tennis shoes, running shoes, flip flops, a pair of heels in case we go to dinner some place nice, spare shoes in case the tennis shoes get dirty... And then we have to leave room in the suitcases for chotchkies we bring back. good point, i probably will need a bigger suitcase.
mike: Um, wow. That's a lot of shoes.
me: you do realize you married a GIRL, right?

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Pairings

me: Where did you park?
mike: over there I think.
me: Oh, I think I see the Seabring. Hey, does your car have a name?
mike: No I don't think it does (yet). (ok, the yet was implied, he knows perfectly well where I'm going with this)
me: yeah, we need to name your car. (see?)
mike: umm
me: Ok it's a Seabring, so... Sea, Cici, Ree, Ebree, bri.. OH! Bree! Because: I have Cam, and if you have Bree, then our cars together are Cam-Bree!
--Mike just looks at me--
me (to the car): Hi Bree!

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

Peak

me: Oh my god, I'm 30.
mike: It's really not that bad.
me: Can it be my 2nd 29th birthday?
mike: But don't you want to hit your sexual peak?*
me: What? Oh yeah, that's right, a woman's sexual peak is supposed to be in her 30's isn't it.
mike: Yep. (grinning)
me: OH!!!! My running peak is supposed to happen in my 30's too! Oh, that's good!
mike: Yes. That's where I was going with that.

*it's ok honey, we're married.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

Going to Need a Bigger Cake

Guess who's 30 today?
Me! Me!
Guess who's slightly freaking out about it?
Also me! Me!
I guess it's not really that huge a deal.  Age is only a number, I don't look it, bla bla bla, it's just the start of a new decade, but....it's still 30.....

I typically do a here's what happened in the last year and here's what I have to look forward too kind of blog on my birthday. And since this is a big year, what with entering a new decade an all, I feel it is especially prudent to provide a recap. As so, the 29th year of my life included:
  • finishing (my first) full marathon
  • getting into graduate school
  • buying a glue gun and 13 pounds of tissue paper
  • cursing Martha Stewart and her beautiful craftiness.
  • throwing a big party and legally tying myself to dr soc for-ev-er.
 Stuff to look forward to:
  • starting graduate school
  • legally changing my last name (due to the legally tying to dr soc thing)
  • finishing another marathon
  • becoming an aunt (by marriage. still counts!)
 Well, another candle for another decade means we need more cake to put it on right? Right?

Friday, July 13, 2012

Car Rights

Every now and again I see a car I like and decided I want it for my mom car. My current favorite is a Mazda 3 hatchback, but then I see a Prius V or a CRX and I declare that my mom car. 
Anyway, not that it really matters what I want for my mom car this particular moment, not only because I'm not a human mom yet and that Cam is a good faithful steed we hope to have a long while,  but I also have lost all car picking rights of our family. And I lost them as such:

me (telling a story): I'm driving the :pause: honey, what do I drive again?
mike (exasperated): You drive a Carola. (we may have had this conversationa few times...)
me: Right. Anyway so I'm driving the Carola...

--fast forward some months later--

me (telling another story): I'm driving the Civic and
--mike walks in the kitchen at this precise moment--
mike: NO! A Civic? That's a Honda, you don't even have the right brand! At least with the Camry and Carola they are both Toyotas! That's it. You have lost all car picking privileges.

And thus it was decreed. And in all honestly, I can't say that I blame him though.

Thursday, July 12, 2012

Do the math

Last Saturday I did the first long run of my training plan (8 miles) in the afternoon, a couple of hours before I had to to go work.  But unfortunately, I'm a bit out of shape,* so I knew it would be a tough run. It takes my body a few weeks to adjust to running conditions after a break, and so I've come to expect a certain degree if tummy trouble post (long) run the first few weeks of training.

Fortunately, the stomach pain dissipates within a few hours of it happening, and altogether disappears once my body gets used to running distances again.  Unfortunately, I didn't time my run and work schedule up very well last Saturday, because I was hurting pretty bad when I walked into work that day.   

me: (doubling over in pain) Ugh, I don't feel so good.
coworker: Are you pregnant?**
me: Yep. Thirteen months along and counting.***
coworker: Huh? Months? 
me: Yep. Then I straitened up, and walked directly to the bathroom.

So yeah, I've decided to stop denying being pregnant (because no one believes me anyway) and just being snarky with people. And while the snark didn't stop my pain right there, it did make me feel a little better in a way. 

*I barely worked out pre-wedding. Weirdest bride ever.
**Seriously, I'm so tired of people assuming I'm pregnant, implying that I will be soon enough, then looking at me with a knowing smile when I staunchly deny it, when it's really none of your fcking business in the first place.
***too tired to deny, but not tired enough to snark.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Depends

It's incredibly depressing to say this, but it's true. I'm never going to be completely independent.
I know it's not a first world problem, and it's a pithy thing to feel down about.  And the fact that I've never been without support (financially, emotionally) is so rare and lucky and makes me seem incredibly heedless for what I do have.
My lot in life is by no means a bad one.  I have a roof over my head, people that love me, and I even have a job.  And my job isn't bad, but it's not my ideal and it's not my career.  The random hours are pretty rough on me, and I like my coworkers and the job itself.  And the glaring fact here is that I have a job which is which is more than many people even have. And here I am lamenting over that I'm not in the career I want and how I can't wait to start graduate school to get there.  A lot of people don't get the breaks I've had in life.  And I'm whining about it.
But I'm nearly 30 years old. And I've always been taken care of. First and foremost by my parents, and now my husband. And I get a lump in my throat when I face how far I haven't come.

Sunday, July 8, 2012

Iron

me: Oh shoot, I wanted to wear these shorts today, but the crease is so bad in the cuffs that I have to iron them.
mike: You iron?
me ::scoffing:: No.
mike: Which means...
me ::sigh:: That more than likely I'll never wear them again. Too bad, I really like these shorts.

Yeah, I don't iron. Apparently we have one, but I have no idea where it is, nor do I have much intention of finding it, let alone using it.

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Happy 4th!

Oh yeah...
Happy 4th of July!

Happy Birthday Bailey

My Bailey girl is 5!I know she's not a puppy anymore, but on occasion I still call her that. Even though she's no longer this:

so tiny! and squirmy! and PUPPY!!!
after her first bath. that glare is due to the fact that she hated it.
(come to think of it, she still gives me that look post bath)

And now more so this:
not so tiny. and not as squirmy
(though just as spazzy and unfocasable)
See the gray? Old girl!
(the hat didn't last long)
Some things have obviously changed, like her overall size and weight.  She doesn't fit on my lap anymore and she likes tummy rubs now. There's noticeable gray in her muzzle now it's starting to spread a little more into the rest of her face. And believe it or not as she's gotten older, she's calmed down a bit (It's true! Stop laughing!) and only takes off on a spaztastic chase around the house when her little sister eggs her on. Not to mention she has that little sister and a papa who loves her most of the time. While other things about Bailey have stayed the same, like how she still throws up in the car, loves to chase cats, hates bathes, and is still the prissy puppy who won't go outside if the grass is wet. 

But as spaztastic as she is, she definitely knew what she was doing that day I showed up at the pound. She made a beeline for us when she escaped her crate then latched onto me the second she was put in my arms, cementing her place in my heart with a kiss on the chin.  She made a huge hullabaloo of crying and catawhomping and clamored to get back into my arms after I set her down for a second. She could feel my heart melt as I picked her back up, while all the while I'm pretty sure she was thinking "Hahahaha! Sucker! I'm going to cost you sooooooooo much!"

But I wouldn't trade my birthday girl for the world. Thousands of dollars in vet bills, all disgusting car trips and all the baths that I end up more wet than her, I still wouldn't trade a day.
Happy birthday Bailey!