Double Digits

Little turkey is 10 years old today. TEN. YEARS. OLD. 

Due the day after Thanksgiving, the Monday of that week they decided very suddenly it was time to arrive while we were watching Monday night football, and 6-7 hours later we had a baby!   

2015 debut

The year flew by then on 2016 she turned 1 on thanksgiving day  

2016 smash cake!

She turned 2 in 2017 and was a quintessential toddler. 

2017 Santa train

She became a threenager in 2018. 

Becoming a big sister earlier that year, she became a 'kid' to me by comparison to the baby. But there's still that sweet softness to her face and later the tantrums of a toddler. 

Turning four in 2019, we threw her fist friends party at the movies.     

A very happy birthday girl and her (honestly very happy to do all this) mommy

And 2020 was...2020. But she still turned 5, just no* one had birthday parties that year 

 *except dr Soc, we threw him a 40th in February right before the world shut down

In 2021 she started kindergarten and invited her whole class to her 6th birthday.  

The special guest made it the talk of the class! Still very young, but becoming a kid more and more.

For her 7th birthday in 2022 we went to Bounce U. The party started at 6pm, so by 8pm when we were eating most of the kids were so exhausted they were lying on the table as they ate!   

She's lost a few teeth and the baby softness of her face by then. Solid kid age. And her Lego prowess was on point.   

For her 8th birthday in 2023 (I pushed) for another movie birthday (because so easy!) party.

No biggie, just an 18+ | 1540 pcs Disney Villain Lego set for my 8 year old. She did 95% of this awesomeness by herself, and the only reason it wasn’t 100% was because I kept asking if I could “help”

 

In 2024 we went to the Monroe Science Center for her party 

Then Cajun Yard Dog for dinner (we made her share the cake!) 

Which brings us to now, 2025, and yup, we saw this! 

The movie for her party. She and I saw the play a month ago and had a wonderful night out. 

Oh beautiful girl, you made me and your dad parents and irrevocably changed our lives. Happy birthday Little Turkey!

Bones

Back in May, Girl 1 fell off her scooter on afternoon (wearing a helmet - a nonnegotiable) and cried and cried and cried right after it happened. We put some ice on it, propped her wrist and hand on a pillow, but she could move it and it wasn't swollen. So dr soc and I thought she was just being extra with all her 'life is over' and she 'was never going to have any fun again,' over and over that I rolled my eyes and told my sister it was a bit much. 

But because she really was going on and on about the pain, I told her if it still hurt that bad after dinner we would go to urgent care. When I asked if she still wanted to go, she nodded her head. Considering how much she fights me on most health things this should have tipped me off that something was wrong, but we still didn't think it was broken. We get to urgent care, tell them what happened, and the PA does some looking and feeling around, and says we need an X-ray. And then I look at her wrists and when you compare them yeah you can see one was swollen. Shit.

We get the X-ray and go back to the exam room to wait. I hear someone say 'it's broken' out in the hall, and I made an educated guess they were referring to us due to the fact there we were one of the only two patients there and the only one who just got an X-ray. And yup, a few minutes later they come in and tell us "it's broken' just like I heard in the hall. 

My girl broke down in tears along with my heart. She started to apologize which we quickly told her she had nothing to apologize for, it was an accident and it was not her fault in any way. I text dr soc with the results and we both feel like such assholes for thinking she was being a drama queen. Urgent care wraps her wrist in a temporary cast and we come home both emotionally worn down. 

We give her a little treat and some Tylenol for the pain, and then start getting her ready for bed. By now it's more than an hour past bedtime, not that Girl 2 was even trying to sleep. She escaped her room for her nightly avoid bedtime drink of water and to give Girl 1 to give a kiss goodnight.  Girl 2 adores her big sister, so when she saw this: 

temporary cast from urgent care

 She did this:

toilet paper roll

to match. 

A few days later Girl 1 got her purple cast and we had a truly lovely day together just her and me. And the break was clean and small so she only had to have it the cast on for 5 weeks too.  

some of our shenanigans

So yeah, the initial event that started it all sucked and mom and dad felt like assholes, but at least there was some cute news in there too. 

Face your fears

God I hate that trope. Because my 5 year old is fearful of pretty much everything and will face absolutely nothing. It's not this cute little aww she's just shy sort of thing. It's a full force whiney cry and inability to function fear of...whatever it is. In the blink of an eye she has gone from 0 to 100 and once she's in that state there isn't a damn thing anyone can do to get her off that ledge.

The worst panic tantrums are always health/body related. Brushing her teeth. Trimming her talons nails. Performing basic body functions of going to the bathroom. When I start looking for Neosporin and or a band aid for her. Any medicine. Telling her we have to remove a splinter that she has said "it hurts!"      

Yes these are real fears to her and I want to respect that so she can work through them. I do. But sometimes we don't have time (or energy) to work through something, or there aren't any other options to give. It's very frustrating when whatever fear has been carrying on for a while and absolutely no effort has been made, especially if there isn't an alternative. And tbh once she's on that ledge her only option is complete obstinance so any amount of time or alternative is a moot point. 

For example, she'd rather let a gaping wound heal 'on it's own' but down the road that gaping wound leaves a scar she's distraught over that. And yes we told her she could have a scar but that won't change her mind in her fear tantrum. Or when she had an ear infection and she had to take medicine, and because there are no other options we had to force her to take it which we know isn't the right way but it had to be the way at that moment because we are not going to let your ear rot and fall off simple because she is too chicken shit to take the yummy medicine.

Yeah a part of me feels not great talking smack about my kid, but when she's being a jerk can we call a spade a spade here? But also I don't want her to miss out on things because she was to scared to even try. At a birthday party everyone ran across the room for something and she refused for some reason. So the rest of the party moved on without her, and she broke down in tears because she was hurt. And yeah it sucked to see her upset, but at the same time she has to learn sometimes the world is not going to wait.  

What it comes down to is that I'm just frustrated and I wish I knew the answer like before I had children.   

Salty Bedtime

The past month bedtime with the girls has been...challenging. Bedtime routine is supposed to go:
- 7pm -

- Nighttime potty (Girl 1) /nighttime diaper* change (Girl 2)
- Vitamin
- Brush teeth
- Stories
- Kisses/hugs, go to rooms
- Sleep: around 7:30pm 

*We** are also trying to potty train at this time

**mom and dad are, Girl 2 is nope.    

Here's how bedtime routine actually goes:
- 7pm-7:30ish Shit it's bedtime -

- Nighttime potty (Girl 1) /nighttime diaper change (Girl 2)

1: Cajole into performing basic body function of going to the bathroom 

- Vitamin
- Brush teeth

fight over step stool, put toothpastes on tooth brushes. 1: whine/cry "I need help" because bodily function. 2: run giggling with the toothbrush in mouth  

- Stories
- Kisses/hugs, go to rooms

1: You need to go to your bed in your room. No you do not get another story. No it's not time to play with us. What do you want to show me? Yes you can play/listen to your music in your room but do so quietly. Shhh! Shhhh! (nothing is louder than girl 1 trying to be quiet)

- This part has been ALL ME the past month -  

2: Snuggle/rock. Exhaust. Lullaby. Put in bed. Put in bed. Put in bed... Eventually lay down in bed with mommy is snuggling.* Freak out/cry run if mommy inches** away.***  

*uncomfortably laying on the floor and toddler bed

**lay on floor next to bed trying to work out neck kink.

***literally scoot inch by inch towards the door while fighting all the lingering mommy exhaustion from the past month

- Sleep: 10pm or later

Tuesdays I get home from work around 8:30 so it's 100% dr soc/daddy bedtime. Last night went like:  

- 7pm

- Nighttime potty/diaper change

- Vitamin

- Brush teeth

- Stories

- Kisses/hugs, go to rooms

1: Plays fairly quietly in room until I come home and check on her. Thump. Thump. Thump. Honey, you need to whisper and and be still to be quiet. Thump. Thump. Thump. Repeat 17 times (give or take)

2: put in bed and fall asleep in 5 fucking minutes!!!!  

- Sleep: 1 no idea, late and mommy shushed as usual: 2: 7:fucking 30pm. 

I am thrilled all my work and rigmarole got girl 2 to sleep in 5 fucking minutes. But I am also salty as hell she fell asleep in 5 fucking minutes for dr soc.  So glad I made that part of parenting easier for my husband.  So yes, happy overall. But also incredibly salty because fucking hell 5 minutes with no snuggling, rocking, exhausting, parental yoga moves, inching away! What the hell kid?!

Yup, that's ________

dr soc: I was trying to leave and girl 2 peed in the pull-up. Now is naked and playing in waterless tub

me: Yup that's girl 2

dr soc: Girl 1 partially being helpful and partially driving me crazy

me: Yup that's girl 1

dr soc: Tug of war match over toy

me: Yup that's sisters

dr soc: Just look for me later rocking in a chair hugging myself all day

me: Yup that's parenting! 

Happy Mother's day!

Process

Girl 2 is speech delayed. We’ll be starting speech therapy for her in the near future and work on getting her caught up.  So what does that mean exactly? 

It means...I’m processing it.  I mean...it’s not a bad thing. She’s healthy and happy and a joyful little girl. But it’s unexpected, so it still hurts a little you know? And no parent wants this, an additional difficulty. Kids are who they are and you love them fiercely regardless. But being a parent is hard and worrisome enough on it's own, so another challenge, no matter how manageable, is something to deal with.

I think deep down she’s going to be fine.  Being able to socialize safely again and being around kids her own age will probably help her development as well. Parenting is just...a loooooooong game and here’s something else to wrestle.

So. I’m processing. 

Irony 2.0

The irony of  Girl 1 fighting me tooth and nail on her teeth* and nails is not lost on me.

*you may recall the teeth fight of 2020. Currently that war is at a lull but her checkup in December involved crying so her upcoming June appointment I don't know.

Now that she is a mature 5 year old the irony is this: The hill my child will die on is anything health related. 

• She will not take medicine, topical or internal. 
• She will not listen to her body for the bathroom.
• She will not blow her nose despite being unable to breath due to snot blockage or a river flowing from her nose 
• Refuses band aids and screams about any blood getting on anything and everything from refusing to cover it
• When she found out she had to go to the doctor because she mentioned to daddy her ear hurt, she said "I wish I hadn't said anything."*
• *This one actually worries me because I know she had to be hurting long and hard enough for her to even mentioned it. I don't want her to be afraid to say anything, ever. 
• Going to the doctor or dentist with her requires an iron will, Olympic sized bribes that never ever work which result to physically restraining her*
• *because that doesn't traumatize her at all and won't lead directly to the aforementioned fear of her being afraid to tell me anything.*
• *and that leads me to sobbing into my drink because OMG I hate that struggle so much and I do not know what to do so I cope by drinking and sobbing and questioning my entire ability of being a mom.

Uhhh, yeah. The irony here is that my child is willing to literally die on the health hill. Yeah.      

Extremes

Get this: parenting is HARD. Like, soul crushing questioning your entire being day drinking hard. And the pandemic has made that...obvious. And with the girls...there is no middle ground. It’s seems I can only reach the extremes of the emotional spectrum with them. Yes I love them more than than I ever thought possible, so much that my heart will burst. Then 12 minutes (give or take) later, be exasperated with them more than I ever thought was humanly possible.

For example, when Dr Soc has his laser* eyes** put in.

*I am always disappointed laser is not lazer 

**permanent contacts. Not lasik, lazer eyes sound cooler.

Girl 1 was so incredibly empathetic I welled up a bit. She was determined to serve daddy dinner in bed, but since we were having soup she asked him if he wanted me to carry it up on a tray or if he wanted to come downstairs (he chose the latter). So she claimed the last cookie for him. Then when she went to use the bathroom she told him to not look in that direction and when she was turning the lights on/off because he was so sensitive to light (they dilated the fuck out of him and he was hilariously all pupil for 2 days). That entire evening she was incredibly helpful and so gentle and just a great little human. Then the next morning we went to the dentist and she wouldn’t open her mouth and if I hadn’t been getting my own teeth cleaned at the time I would have spit nails.

And girl 2 is...TWO. Adamant in what she wants but can’t articulate it, morphing into a flailing banshee trying to communicate ratcheting my anxiety to an 11. But then she snuggles and cuddles you with pure affection and we’re all laughing with joy.

I know they are both just acting their age and doing the best they can with some BIG emotions. As the grown up I’m the safe space for them to recognize whatever feelings they have and figure out how to cope so they don’t become emotionally stunted adults. It’s just...so, so, so sooooooooooooo...hard

Happy Birthday Little Lion!

Little Lion is officially 2! I say officially because as soon as this girl could walk she has been running me ragged and been the a quintessential toddler. She is also:

my little climber 

SO proud of herself

My little artist

Have writing utensil - will draw on anything

Rock star

Baby Shark doo doo doo doo 

Big sister adoring

Yeah, she needs the leash

Yogurt loving

(and bath) 

And ice cream adoring

ALL OF IT IN MY MOUTH

Smiling 

Extroverted 

so outgoing

Party girl* 

The most precious, snugly, strong willed, vocal (when frustrated she releases these banshee cries until someone relents and she gets what she wants), most kissable

absolutely most darling little one our family could have

Happy birthday sweetheart! 

*She slams her juice cup down with the enthusiasm of a college kid at a frat party. Speaking of frat parties she wriggles all her sleeveless shirts into togas. Her 21st birthday is on a Saturday (yup I checked). And my personal favorite, before we legit* baby proofed the kitchen, she reached into the party* cabinet and gleefully pulled out a full bottle of wine! 

*put childproof locks on. Previously we had hair ties wrapped around some cabinets because big sister didn't really get into things and also had 2 sets of eyes on her. This one not so much.

*booze, serving platters, fondue pot, punch bowl...aka: party 

Dentist Drama Season Finale

So. The drama continued and concluded the following way:

- Stayed home from the babysitter all week and fell asleep on the bathroom floor for 3 nights, waiting us me out on the mouthwash. So we I conceded that loss. Then cried over my failure while simultaneously impressed at her ferocity. 

- Called our dentist (the one who discovered the cavities) and asked if they would sedate her. The answer: no, they only sedate adults. 

- Took her to a third (in network pediatric) dentist, who confirmed she had cavities, but, surprise! in obstinate 4 year old fashion wouldn't let the dentist actually do anything in their really* cool office. So we made plans to sedate - because it had to get done. In 3 weeks because that's the fist appointment we could get at the dental surgery center.

*I mean for fuck's sake they had a tv mounted on the ceiling and you could pick what tv show you wanted to watch! What the hell kid? This place is awesome!

- Rearranged my work schedule. Again. 

- Continued no treats (except special occasions like mommy's birthday cake).

- Took her to the pediatrician* to get her cleared to have general anesthesia.

*not sure if I'm slightly ashamed or proud that I impressed the pediatrician with my 4 year old wrangling/hog tying skills...  

- And this morning: we sedated. She managed to spit* out the relaxation syrup (yeah, sedation to sedate her) twice.

*once again unsure if  I should be impressed or ashamed 

But when they wheeled her bed back to anesthesiology and I couldn't go with her...my tiny, beautiful girl, I just...mom worry. But less than an hour later she was done and I could see her. She was cranky when she woke up from the anesthesia, but also, that's just my girl. At least now her cavities are fixed! We came home, watched tv, and got panera lunch. We're done! 

- Right. Not done. Because tonight she didn't want to brush those damn teeth causing all this drama because they felt funny but also refused to take any pain medicine for that. So I noped it and walked away. Because no. Just no. I'm done with this drama. Tonight at least. 

And this concludes our 2020 cavity drama theater.  

Dentist Drama

The excitement of Girl 1's first no crying successful* dentist visit was quickly tempered by the discovery of cavities. So a week later we go back to fill them and...nope. Reverted right back to the shrinking/wailing/terrified kid that we had to be referred to a pediatric** dentist. And when we went to that dentist she was even more terrified and screamed even worse, so the only treatment she received was a heavy fluoride treatment and was told to start using a mouthwash. When we go back to the not in network pediatric dentist in 3 months we have to hope that stopped them from growing, otherwise we have to put her under to treat her. All for teeth that she's going to lose eventually anyway. *cries*    

*Both visits prior she shrank into herself (and she's already pretty small) and wailed so much the dentist couldn't do anything in order not to traumatize her. 

**That's not in network. Of course not.

At least the mouthwash would be an easy enough stopgap measure right? *cackle* Fuck NO. The rigmarole at the dentists pales to the tantrums we've endured the past 3 weeks. My daughter fought me tooth and nail on her teeth...and nails* when she was a toddler and it's so. much. worse now.

*yeah, I know. The irony is not lost on me.

We have tried everything: No treats. No screen time. No puzzle with Grandma. We'll get her a Frozen II bed. No berry picking. Bribes. Go out for ice cream. Promises of Panera. Hugs. Kisses. Soothing tones. Screaming. Offering to do it with her. No Stories. Extra Stories. Walking away. And the one we thought would do it: No going to the babysitter's.  

Sunday night I sorta hog tied her with one arm and threw the mouthwash in her mouth while she thrashes and screamed with my other arm. Which went as well as it sounds. Monday night I told her she couldn't leave the bathroom until she did the mouthwash. She was begging to go to her bed (an entirely different battle for another blog for another day) and held on for an hour and a half before falling asleep on the bathroom floor. I was equal parts highly impressed at her ferocious tenacity and completely mortified she was asleep on the bathroom floor. 

 

So I don't know what to do. I don't know how to motivate her. I don't know her it seems. I never say the right things. I can't calm her down. I want to be a positive parent rather than a punitive one. I want to know what to do to help my girl. And I know this takes work but I wish it wasn't so fucking hard. This gargantuan effort it's taking to connect to my daughter makes me feel that I'm failing her. I'm not the parent I want to be and that hurts. And tonight the saga continues. Stay tuned.

Gold Stars

It's official, Girl 2 is allergic to peanuts.

Two weeks ago I gave her a dab of peanut butter* and she quickly broke out in red splotchy hives around her mouth and eye where she touched. We gave her benadryl which cleared it up pretty quick - thank god- (and then took a solid 2 hour nap -also thank god), and the pediatrician referred us to an allergy center for testing.

*I had shown Girl 1 peanut butter jelly time for some reason earlier so pb&j for lunch was sorta a given.

Yesterday was our allergist appointment and she was diagnosed with a peanut allergy (but not tree nuts, so that's a sliver lining). However, to even make it to the appointment, I had to rearrange my work schedule and take sick time. Dr soc was able to make it for most of the appointment but had to leave to go teach his classes while we were waiting to talk allergy action plan. Afterwards she was really clingy (can't say I blame her with her back getting all pricked up) and I couldn't put her down/stop comfort nursing, but I still had to get to work eventually.

So dr soc and I arranged for me to drop her off in his class on my way in. Not ideal, but special circumstances, for a short amount of time, it would be okay. And let's be honest, he's a white male so nothing can really harm him.

As far as we know he hasn't gone viral for being a parent, but the patriarchy is alive and well (thriving even!) so we figure at the very least society gave him another gold star or two for yesterday.

Girl Math

When the baby wakes up in the middle of the night I nurse her back to sleep. Being the middle of the night, I end up falling asleep in the chair in the nursery with her. So I don't get the best night's rest.

The dog has been having stomach issues recently and will whine to go out in the middle of the night, and with me sleeping in aforementioned nursery chair, dr soc has to be the one to get out of bed and let her out. So he doesn't get the best night's rest either.

We're a really cute couple that checks in with each other throughout the day with a text here and there. Stuff like: how's it going? dinner ideas? the status of the girls' potty doings, with some of our most recent check ins being trying to one up each other on who is more tired.

me: 90% of parenting is finding reasons to claim you are more tired

dr soc: truth. And busy

me: 76% is talking about poop

dr soc: 24% is for talking about the other 24%

me (not be outdone): 7% is scheduling sanctimommy activities, 93% is rearranging the schedule to accommodate those activities, and 78% of that is attempting to find a way out of it completely. And 100% of this math will be questioned due to my sex.

dr soc: math is HARD

  

Girls

As much as I love being a girl and the color pink, I really don't like to gender my girls that much with trying to smash patriarchy and all that. What do we want? Usable pockets! Equal Pay! Autonomy over our own bodies! When do we want it? Two hundred years ago!

Right. So. A few days ago I had my hands on the highchair tray playing with girl 2, and she develops those fine motor skills by gripping onto my engagement ring and squealing. And yesterday girl 1 had a big potty training accident at the sitter's so that even her shoes got wet. So on the way home it was "mommy I need new shoes! Lets go shopping for shoes!"

So I said to dr soc: we have one girl squealing over diamonds and the other wants to go shoe shopping. We have girls!

Chips

Over Thanksgiving I said that while the show Friends is funny, it's very homophobic and hasn't aged well. The religious side of the family didn't know what homophobic meant (it means you're an ass btw), which then brought up their shock and dismay at the same sex kiss the Macy's parade broadcasted. Their opinion didn't surprise me, but I do not agree with them and didn't want them to think I did, especially in my own home. So I stared them dead in the eye and said: SO?
They start trying to back pedal a little bit, saying it's a sign of the times, they're a different generation, excuses/justifications for their general homophobia.
And once again I said: So what?

Someone else quickly redirected the confrontation and shut down the conversation. I understand why, hot button issue, black and white opinions, lots of people and small impressionable children around. But later I was chafing a bit that my small impressionable kids even heard excuses for homophobia initially.

It was pointed out to me that one conversation isn't "going to change hearts and minds"
Which is true. BUT.
Later that night the same family used a term I find derogatory and outdated. I had one of my kids in my lap, and without much thought I blurted "that's not a nice word." And when they tried to sweep it away I simply said "it's not a nice word" again and it was done.

And then I thought, what if...what if the way to dismantle systemic injustices was to simply call out the microaggressions and behaviors with an undertone of misogyny, racism, homophobia, unkindness, etc, that bolster them? Rather than wait for the acceptance light to go on whilst scrapping in opposite corners, you keep chipping away at the roots that have allowed them to go on for so long in the first place? Make those accepted microaggressions unacceptable, would we see how deep the problem is and make strides to change?

I think it's at the very least, it's worth a shot.

Mommy Wars

I know the mommy wars have been around* forever, but social media made them hyper competitive and omnipresent. If you aren't humble bragging about being super mom with a #trope on social media, then why even bother? Which is total bullshit by the way. But whether you like it or not, the mommy wars have a way of finding you. Though the good news is even when they do find you, you don't actually have to compete (even though most people do because it's a vicious, vicious trap).

Me? I'm a just-enough mom. Just enough that you can't** mom shame me, while simultaneously setting expectations just low enough no one asks me to do anything either. Just enough. And then, when I am inevitably in charge of some class party/treat bag/bake sale/nonsense, I will absolutely rock it because I am an awesome hostess and will celebrate the shit out of whatever it is, and blow people's minds.

Just enough FTW

*My dad has a cousin one month older and one month younger than him because their moms (3 sisters) were in fierce competition with each other, over everything, and all the time.
**well you can, but not without being petty as fuck which then completely nullifies the superiority high of mom shaming. 

My Little Pony

So girl 1 is all about My Little Pony at the moment. In the spirit of full disclosure I totally love watching it with her and we sing the whole theme song together. Plus Pinkie Pie is my spirit pony - true fact. Anyway. I was zipping her into her purple jacket and asked:

me: Honey do you want to be Twilight Sparkle for Halloween this year?
girl 1: YES!!!!!
me: Okay sweetie, mommy will make your costume.
girl 1: Oh thank you mommy! You will be Pinkie Pie. And Daddy Apple Jack!
me:  Okay darling.
--I think of the baby's wardrobe and know we have all white for her--
me: Your sister can be Rarity. 
girl 1: Okay! And Jules can be Rainbow Dash!

So it was decreed. Halloween 2018 we were My Little Ponies. I made the costumes while on leave and while the kids were at the sitter, and girl 1 was SO EXCITED she wanted to wear and show her costume off the whole week before Halloween.

Twilight Sparkle (pre-princess w/wings mainly because I didn't feel like it), Pinkie Pie carrying Rarity, & Apple Jack walking Rainbow Dash (our Fluttershy was sick) 

And you want to know who got the most attention trick or treating? The dog!😆

Mother Russia

I went viral in my own way with the last blog post telling Facebook (and the world in general) to fuck off with the diet ads/products body shaming on my feed.

I checked my feed an hour or so later (because I'm on social media all the time and always close to my phone) and the targeted body shaming ads were (almost)* gone! Now the targeted ads were how to organize/take charge/fail less at my messy/chaotic family life. Body shaming ads to mom shaming ads.

*lets face it, there will always be a degree of body shaming even after the ashes of the patriarchy are scattered across the desert of men's tears

So hey, even though we know that Russia is totally messing around with us (though the chumps Russia fooled typically staunchly refuse to believe that) at least they are paying attention!
 

I Curse You

My daughter is not good at waking up. She's groggy and fussy and usually a little hangry when she does. Any one of those isn't a preferable state for anyone, but a combo, in a 2.5 year old none the less, just sucks. When she was a baby the post sleep fussiness could usually be soothed with some snuggles and a snack of sorts. But now that she's a full blown toddler and can talk (a lot. My kid talks A LOT)... That groggy/fussy/hangry combo is incessant whining and an overall miserable disposition.

It doesn't matter what it is, where we are, or what we are doing, she is having none of it. Wake up in the morning and it starts with not wanting to get dressed. But she also wants clothes and out of jammies (if she still has them on). But no getting dressed. Yes dressed. Doesn't want to pick them out. But not what mommy picks out. She needs to pick them out. But she doesn't want to. Not mommy. Her. Not her. Not mommy. At some point I force clothes someone selected through kicks and tears and then battle again a few moments later with breakfast/shoes/going to the baby sitters/whatever the day entails all over again. It's gas-lighting at it's finest.

Recently I've been trying to take her out on my own and expand her world more. And I really want to enjoy these times with my darling girl, especially since we only have about 2-3 more weeks left of her being an only child. But god she can make that really hard. Because when we go on these mommy and me adventures, we typically have some sort of drive to the said adventure (suburbia, for all it's niceties severely lacks in walk-able and public transport accessible adventures). So she tends to fall asleep in the car, so when we get to the adventure she was so excited for...she is miserable and bloody hates it. 

Seriously, whatever it is. This girl will throw a fit. And want nothing to do with this and everything to do with this simultaneously and express that sentiment several times over with def-con 10 whining. It doesn't matter if it was a fleet of unicorns with ice cream covered in chocolate sauce and sprinkles in a bounce castle in Disney World. With a puppy because why the fuck not. It's a NO.

So I curse you car seat nap. Curse you with the fire of a 1000 suns and may the flames of hell consume you. You turn my darling girl into a total jerk which brings her waddling pregnant mommy to tears. Curse you.

Mischief

Dr soc and I were driving and the 2 year old randomly yelled "mischief!" from the backseat. Clear as a bell like she knew what she was talking about. First: we were impressed at her vocabulary and started laughing. Then we paused and thought, umm, should we be concerned?

So I did what any parent in the age of social media does: posted it.
"She just randomly yelled "mischief!" Should I be concerned?'" 

It got the likes, 'reactions' and comments I figured it would, because it's random, funny and involves a n adorable toddler which is the content of liked, "reacted" and commented posts. But about half of the comments referenced Harry Potter.

Which I see the connection, with the "mischief managed" thing from the marauder's map debuted in the Prisoner of Azkaban. And I'm a book nerd and most people just assume a Harry Potter obsession is a requirement for working in the library.

But I'm not obsessed with Harry Potter. I own the books and I've seen the movies and I like them well enough. But that's it, I just like them. And if we're being honest I had to look up which book the marauders' map debuted in the first place. 

So sorry if I disappointed all you die hard Potter fans, but it wasn't a Potter reference. It was just my delightful toddler yelling an impressive word.