crazy cost vs just plain crazy

Not only are flower for a wedding my size silly expensive, no one really remembers them. Seriously, I don't remember the flowers/decorations from any of the weddings I've been to and/or in.  Nothing against them, but it's just not of of the aspects most people remember. So, after some hemming and hawing, I went to the internets and fell into the Martha Stewart tissue paper flowers page.  Then I got excited about spending $200 in supplies instead of $2000. And then I heard about donating the flowers to a hospital, and that they would last much longer than real flowers, and I get really excited about being able to do some greater good by way of my wedding.

I buy a glue gun. I buy some tissue paper. I prep the area like nobody's business. I am ready and I will attack this bubble of tulle project with gusto!
This was me yesterday:

MAKE ALL THE FLOWERS!!!!!

---and then, an hour later and 12 (of 2000) flowers made--

make ALL the flowers??

Damn you Martha Stewart! Damn you!
Also: thanks be to hyperbole and a half for the images and the hilarity. (and Jeanne for bringing them to my attention in the first place)

Know what's important

Last week I drove to meet little dude, visit with friends and then spend some time in Lexington.  But to first get to Cleveland, I have to drive north through Virgina for a small portion of the drive.  In theory, that portion of the drive should take an hour total.  It took closer to 3 due to congestion.  I ended up loosing 2 hours in that state, thus turning an 8 hour drive into a 10 hour drive.  Plus, I still had to drive through West Virgina after Virgina, which was nothing to look forward to.  Because I think we all know that nothing good comes from West Virgina.  I was pissed to say the least.  So I did what anyone else would do in my situation. I called my fiance to whine. 

me: Oh my god, Virgina you suck!  Honey, could you do me a favor and see if you can find anything online as to what the hold up is?  I mean, I know you can't do anything about it, but still.
mike: Sure. --sounds of typing and traffic sleuthing-- Looks like there's congestion miles 42-46 and 56ish.  Though it doesn't list any particular reason.  It does say traffic will clear up around 4:15, and that's soonish.
me: --whine!-- Oh goody for me, what that doesn't give me is those 2 hours back I lost.  This sucks!--insert string of whiny girl noises and phrases here--. Sigh.  I'm just bitching to bitch now honey, I'm sorry. I'm just, well, you know.
mike: I know. In theory you should be going faster in about 10 minutes though.
me: --snort-- Yeah, in theory.  Thanks for checking for me though.
mike: You're welcome. Drive safe.

We hang up the phone, traffic clears up in roughly 10 minutes after I drive through a tunnel, with no delay reason in site.  I am finally, finally, out of that state and now have West Virgina and 6 more hours to go.  Eventually I stopped to get gas and take a small break about an hour of driving at a reasonable highway speed.  I pull out my phone to send my girlfriends my new eta, and I have this text message from Mike:

mike: Amy Winehouse died. No cause of death yet but I'm sure the toxicology report will turn up something.
me: I LOVE that you knew to tell me that.

Yeah. He knows what's important. Best fiance ever.

Vampire Boyfriend

True Blood season 3 came back last night. Sweet Jesus the wait is over!

First I will say I love that my boyfriend is tall dark and handsome. I look at dr soc I just think "oh me want." And I've always been attracted to darker hair guys, even though I've probably dated more blonds (or mousy hair) than anything else.

But as soon as 6'4" pale gorgeous powerful Eric Northman shows up on screen I think "I looooove him." And I find the whole he could kill me thing strangely attractive.

I don't ask questions. I just want.

Somebody's Watching Me

Actually, I was watching you! Creepy no?

I used to be tracking my readers. Yep, I had a code somewhere that linked something to somewhere to something else that let me know what areas of the world were visiting, how long they stayed on my site and how many times they visited during the day. And I'm flattered y'all keep up with me.

But it wasn't as creepy as you may think, because well (a) I'm not creepy. And (b) I knew the city that was reading, but not the actual person/computer. So unless you are the only person I know someplace, then I didn't know exactly who you were.

But someplace in that somewhere chain disconnected and readership according to my tracking thingy stopped. At least, it wasn't being recorded or noted. Readership dropped 100%. Boo. And first I was hey, ouch people. But then I figured, that has to be a lie, because I've gotten comments to me and on the blog about stuff I've written, so clearly, people are reading.

So because I didn't care about the technicalities of the whole thing and I know that people are reading anyway, I just deleted the tracking thingy account.

So you people are wonderful but you're off the hook now. You can totally say you read and I'll believe you, because I'll never know the difference.

American Idol

The world does not stop for American Idol. There I said it! I don't watch American Idol, I may be the only person who does not watch it, see #60 on the 100 things about me list.

Honestly, I've never had a problem with idol and it's menagerie of borderline circus freaks. You think I would like it because it's all about judging! But when it messes with what I judge as quality television, I decided the all consuming monster Idol is a bastard.

Why? Because I have to wait until April, yes April, for my beloved Glee to come back.

What do you think I want to watch?
A: a televised popularity contest under the guise of a singing contest?
or B: an ensemble cast containing several Tony nominated actors and Jane Lynch as a maniacal cheerleading coach at a high school in Ohio?

(hmm, when you put it that way, that's actually a tough call. But no, I don't watch idol and I have no intention of starting now)

But I know I'm in the minority. Because a lot of the people who watch Idol also watch Glee. They're probably relived that don't have to split focus. So I'm just going to sulk and pout that Fox IS stopping the world (well, the program that I want to watch) for it's asshole cash cow known as Idol.

Way to piss me off Fox, way to piss me of.

Glee!

"open delight or pleasure, exultant joy, exultation." Also it's a show on Fox.

I had been hearing a decent amount about this show, and that the people that were into it were really into it. But I never found out when it was on, and I had other shows to obsess over, like True Blood and Mad Men (and don't judge me, Keeping up the Kardashians).

So when my girlfriends started talking about Glee, I asked them if it was worth getting into.
Michele: it has singing and dancing!
me: singing and dancing!?!? Why DON'T I watch this show?!

Seriously. Why haven't I been watching this show?

Singing? Check. Dancing? Check. Stereotypical high school characters that I can't get enough of? CHECK! Consider me hooked and caught up as of 8 pm this evening.

So in my zest of all things Glee, I've watched the last 5 episodes on Hulu and I've been obsessively googling YouTube clips of the song and dance numbers. The only problem with YouTube is that it's such a dangerous time suck. And I have no will power and fell head first down the internet rabbit hole. So In addition to Glee, I've also watched Kristen Chenoweth (love!) clips not related to the show, Indina Menzel's 2004 Tony acceptance speech (little choked up), Matt Morrison's video diary on Glee (cutie-cutie), and a medley from Hairspray at one of the Tony awards.

I wish life had more singing and/or dance montages. It would make class super fun!

H.A.B.I.T

That stands for Hips, Abs, Butt, Inner Thighs. Cute right?

It's a group fitness class offered at the (UK) gym. They offer about 10 different classes a day during the week, and even some on the weekends (though not nearly as many). With my school and work schedule though, I can only make habit on Friday afternoon or Wednesday at 7:30 am, another muscle class on Friday, and a yoga class on Sunday. (hey, where do I park if I go to the one on Sunday?)

So yesterday, I tried out the class and I liked it. Even though my schedule's a bit snug, I'm going to make the Friday class part of my routine. The physical activity clears my mind after a full week of classes. And also, even though I'm single and don't plan on anyone seeing me naked for a while, doesn't mean I have to let everything go.

I'm currently not in the best shape, but I could keep up in the class at least. I was really sweaty and my face was super flushed after class, but I did ok. It could have been the mile run I did right before the class that attributed to my overall flush-ness though. The part that I felt the best about was the ab work. Here I am, the end of my first sculpting class and I'm twisting and crunching on an exercise ball and keeping up with the instructor. "Go me!" I thought.

But what's the saying: pride goeth before the fall.

'Cause I hurt today in all my habit areas. But I expected that some, and it's really not that bad. But guess what hurts the most? Yep, my abs.

Twop

One of my favorite interweb places is Television w/out Pity, or twop. It's how I "watch" a decent amount of my shows, (like ANTM) and their count downs and lists are hilarious. The writers are so snarky, I love it. Half the time I think: that's what I was thinking! And the other half is damn I wish I had though of that!

Well, most of the writers are good. The person who recaps True Blood, (which is a show I actually watch) is terrible. His recaps are flat out horrendous. I personally think the dude is a failed screen writer and now thinks the readers of twop want to hear his analysis of human complexity through vampire metaphors. Umm no, dude, I want snark. Pony up and stop being such a douche.

Gossipy gossipy

I've been wanting to take down my relationship status on facebook for a while now. I just want to leave the field blank, this has nothing to do with my crush for the record (how uber-creepy would it be if it did?). But facebook, being the gossipy 14 year old girl that it is, lets everyone you know anything you change.

Get a new friend: Sarah is now friends with so and so
Sarah updated her music preferences/contact information/schools, bla bla bla
Sarah has taken the what personality quiz are you

You get the point. Annoying. So if you change anything, even changing it to nothing, everyone will know. And just to add insult to injury, you know what facebook does when you change your relationship status? It puts a mthr fcking heart next to it (broken or intact depending which way you change).

Example: take down your engaged status and "Sarah is no longer listed as "engaged"" pops up with a broken heart next to it. Which helped my emotional turmoil, so, so, so much. Then when I listed myself as single: Sarah is listed as "single" with an intact heart. (because I was so hopeful about that?) If I change it to a non-existent status (which is what I want to do now), it will say: Sarah is no longer listed as single with a full heart next to it (just assume there facebook, just assume)

You know what it doesn't announce to the world though? If the person you're in a relationship with changed their status to single, or if someone un-friends you (which I have done to people-they had 300+ friends I don't think they noticed they were less 1. And also I didn't care about their stupid updates). It will "tell" everyone who person A is friends with that person A is no longer listed as in a relationship with person B. Except person B that is (they might get the status update if person A still has you as a "friend." So not only does facebook rub your face in your status, it also makes you look like a chump.

I learned my lesson, so I'm never changing anything ever again on it. My real friends know what's going on with me and that's what matters.

How My Sunday Night is Spent

Rock of Love, season 3. On a bus. Well done Vh-1, well done.

I mean, it's loud and screechy and every other word is bleeped and every other shot is of someone's diseased bits (I am not kidding). And I feel like scrubbing my brain with Purell afterwords. But whatever.
I think Taya, the penthouse pet, will win. She is ironically, one of the klassiest ones there. Top 3 at least. And one of the contestants want to be a madam (I see her using a whip one day). The whole show is hot mess after hot mess, and I cannot tear my eyes away from it. Seriously, well done Vh-1.