Pick your battles

Dr soc has been on this eating healthy salad kick so ultimately I don't have to kill him for dying on me. Seeing as we've been together* for 11 years as of today I need him to stick around as my partner in crime, parenting hijinks coconspirator but mostly someone I can occasionally talk shit about when I'm deflecting from my own shortcomings. 

*as well as put a ring on it and let him get me pregnant twice 

Anyway, back to the salads, he eats a lot and prefers a larger bowl for his rabbit food. The largest bowls that we have are the mixing bowls, but I have a hard line that you do not eat from the mixing bowls. See I almost killed someone for always eating out of the mixing bowls and I could never use them for cooking when I needed* them. To save my future relationships and myself from heartbreak, I drew that line and decreed it a rule. Dr soc is awesome and obeys and I tweeted how glad I am for that because divorce is a lot of paperwork.  

*that same someone never did the dishes either 

I'm explaining the origins of that rule and a coworker who's been married for longer than I've been alive, and they decide to impart the following wisdom about marriage: pick your battles.

My response: I have! This is one. DO. NOT. EAT. FROM. THE. MIXING. BOWLS! 

Love you honey! Thanks for not making die on that* hill!

*I'm sure there will be others. I just don't have to die on that particular one.

How Things Change

Relationships in your early/mid 20's are different in a few ways than relationships in your late 20's/30's. Dr soc has never been one of those untrusting annoying guys who has ever asked me if I have taken my birth control. Because no, the crux of that issue is that a guy who doesn't trust me, especially on that, is an asshole and I'm not going to put up with that sh*t. Not to mention that I've always been really really good about taking it. And even though my baby fever has sky rocketed to extreme heights and dr soc and I are planning on having a family in the not so far off future, he still doesn't ask that. Which, good. Because seriously, I won't put up with that sh*t.

What he does ask me about on occasion though, is if I have taken my lady vitamins (with folic acid so Sharktopus's spine has the best chance of developing just in case). But he has reason to do that because I am actually quite terrible at remembering to take those.

So I find this situation slightly ironic for both of us. Because here I am, chomping at the bit to have a baby, but I can't for the life of me remember to do something that would help that baby I want so much to be healthy. And there he is, not quite ready to have a baby just yet, but he's asking me to take something to help the baby's development just in case, not something to not have a baby.

How things have changed.    

Laser Eyes

Yesterday my husband had the consultation with an eye surgeon to see if he was a good candidate for getting laser eyes*/permanent contacts. He was excited about the possibility of ending one of his longest relationships ever with contacts and glasses, while me as his wife just worried he would ruin his only pair of eyes.

He's not getting laser eyes. For several reasons:

1. the surgeon has only done this procedure 2-3 times
2. it's super expensive
3. he's not a good candidate because his corneas are too thin
4. and because of his thin corneas, he's already at a risk for detached corneas and cataracts, and getting this surgery would increases those risks.

In other words: HELL NO. Given my feelings on the possibility of the surgery alone you can guess I'm not too disappointed** by this. But I also knew how excited he was for it so I was disappointed at least a tad bit for him. The good news is thought that hubby's ok with not being able to do so too. Given his general-uber cautiousness getting a new expensive surgery that increases some already existing risks from someone whose only done it 3 times isn't quite his thing. Though he is a little bummed he won't be able to shoot lasers from his eyes.

Good things the dogs can though:

Yep

What? You don't think I would make something that awesome up do you?

*For reasons I don't remember we joked about him asking the dr about getting laser*** eyes at his regular eye appointment. He didn't but that same appointment that put the permanent contacts idea into his head. 
**I do however feel slightly vindicated about my worry though.
***I am slightly disappointed that lasers is spelled with a S and not a Z for some reason.

Dancing on Your Grave

me: I have the new Carrie Underwood song two black Cadillac stuck in my head.
mike: Ok.
me: I'm sure you've never heard it. But it's an old fashioned country song that tells a story. Anyway, the two black Cadillacs are at a funeral, one's for the wife and the other for the mistress. "Preacher said he was good man, brother said he was a good friend, but the women in the two black veils didn't bother to cry."  Turns out the women knew about each other and killed the dude for doing them wrong all those years. They both lay a rose on his grave.
mike: Ok.
me: You know though, it takes some serious balls to show up at your lover's funeral when you are the mistress. Not only to show up, but to get a Cadillac as if you were family.
mike: I'll say. You can go to the funeral, but you hide in the back.
me: Exactly. If your mistress shows up at your funeral demanding a Cadillac, I'm throwing her in the grave with you.
mike: Fair enough. If she had the balls to do that she might not exactly have lady parts though.
me: True. And if that's the case then, the joke's on you and I think I'd let her live and just dance on your grave.

Casanova

Our next door neighbors (not the ones I hoped were related to the president. The other side) broke up the same time Mike and I were sending out our wedding invites. (Seriously, we were about to hand them theirs when the guy told us he was moving out.) Apparently it hadn't been working for a while, she's really focused on her career and has to travel a lot for it, but they are going to try to remain friends.  Sure. That's what they all say, until one person starts seeing someone else.  But they were together 5 years, probably weren't ready to throw in the towel completely, and every now and again we would see the guy's truck in the driveway. Mike or I (sometimes both) would notice and comment to each other, wondering if a reunion was possible. 

But one morning a while back as I was leaving for work, I noticed someone had left a bouquet of flowers on the windshield her work car. (When we see that car we know she's home since it's parked on the street or in her driveway.) And the flowers had been placed there after a bunch of people had been over, but none of those cars had been the guy neighbor's truck.  But we did notice one car in particular stayed longer than all of them.  And that it showed up again a few weeks later, and so did another bunch of flowers after it left. 

Hmmm. How intriguing. So now whenever Mike or I sees the Casanova car we point it out to the other and we are just downright curious of who this Casanova is. Speculating who it is, how they met, if truck neighbor knows and how he feels, or is he's Casanova-ing someone else too.

You know, it's kinda fun spying on the neighbors!

Reasons For Marriage

A few reasons I am getting a husband:

• lift heavy objects
• kill spiders
• check on that noise in the night
• open jars (though I'm getting better at this myself)
• reach tall things.
• companionship for those plus one type events
• and to go to the bank for me

A few reasons dr soc is getting a wife:

• to tell him where to put heavy objects that he's moving
• to hear the noise in the night
• to cook what's in the jars he opens
• to reach the lower things (though, once we have kids I'll make them do that since they will even be closer to the ground than I will be)
• my smaller hands can get into tighter places (though once again, I'll more than likely let the kids take that over once they master the hand-eye coordination thing)
• companionship for those plus one type events.
• to spend the money he gets from the bank
• some one to make lists for him and plan his social calendar
• a purse to put his iphone and keys

See now, I think this works splendidly!

Date Night as a Grown Up

Mike and I had date night and saw The Hunger Games last night.  The book is better, but the book is (almost) always better than the movie* in general.  Anyway, Mike and I got into the theater in the nick of time to find two seats together that weren't in the front rows. We settled into our seats, watched the remaining previews and got ready to enjoy the movie. 

The teenage couple next to us though, I don't think one of them had read the books. So he was asking/talking a decent amount, loud enough to be distracting. After a good 10 minutes into the movie and a few kissy noises into the movie itself, I knew I had to say something. So I leaned over, and politely asked if he could at least whisper. I'm sure he said something snarky under his breath, but to his credit, he did quiet down. Probably because I didn't ask him to stop talking, just to do so quieter.  And the kissy noises got softer too, as an added bonus.

I remember being a teenager and going to movies to make out. I remember missing about half of the movies I was with my high school boyfriend. (we completely missed the ending of The 6th Sense, and totally faked knowing what the twist at the end was when asked about it).  But also back then movie tickets were $5 a piece and you saw a movie just for the hell of it. Now, movie tickets are $10 a piece and if we go to the movie, it's because I actually want to see the movie. 

Going to a movie to actually see the movie and not to make out. Just another marker of adulthood I guess!
     
*Twilight is an example here. The movie is quite terrible, but that's because the book** is total crap.
**No, I don't care if I'm hurting stephanie meyer's feelings. She can buy as many new feelings as she need with her piles and piles of money she made off those crap books.

And Guest

Our invites are in the mail and on their happy way, so now I'm just excitedly waiting for the rsvp's to come pouring in.  (yes I know, if I keep watching the rsvps, it will never boil).

To be able to invite all of our friends to the wedding, we decided to eschew the blanket "and guest."  Everyone invited will know at least a few people there besides us, and of course those with a significant other will be invited with the SO.  Old school etiquette says this is unacceptable, but new school says this is ok. While there are some etiquette rules that I totally said "blow me" to, like, hand addressing the invites, or spending a boatload of money on a professional calligrapher as an almost* acceptable substitute for hand written,** there were other things I do care about. Like who to address the invite to.  

Not to say that the generic "and guest" is a bad thing.  I've been and brought the and guest before, which is fine.  It is not fine however, to be addresses as an "and guest" when you are engaged to the person who is actually invited.  I was actually super pissed when I saw that invite.***.  And then, to add insult to injury, not only did they not bother to find out my name, neither mine or my ex's name was even on the seating chart****.

*Martha Stewart can be such a bitch!
** Calligraphy is acceptable but printing on a computer is tacky.  And using any sort of label in general is a cardinal sin.*
***though I shouldn't have been all that surprised really. This couple had a Friday night wedding and scheduled a smoke break in between the ceremony and the reception.
****That however, was mainly my ex's fault, seeing as he thought rsvp* meant saying "dude, you know I'll be there right?" a day before the wedding.
*We went the whole hog blasphemous route and not only printed computer, we printed from a computer onto a label.
* NO. That is definitely NOT an rsvp. 

Right Turn

Two years ago Mike and I went on our first date. With us getting married in 3 months(SQUEEEEEEE!!!), our dating anniversary date will more than likely be usurped with our wedding anniversary.  But I'm still going to hold a special place in my heart for the day my life took an infinite turn for the better.

I love you dr soc!  Here's to our future!

Happy Birthday honey!

Today is my future hubby's 32nd birthday. Happy birthday darling!
Anyway, since we met a few days after his 30th birthday, I like to say I was the best 30th birthday present ever.  I don't know if he agrees with that entirely since I wasn't exactly gifted to him, but since it's his birthday I won't argue semantics with him.  Today at least. Tomorrow I may.
Love you honey!

Happy Valentine's Day!

I've had a few different kinds of Valentine's days.  There have been single ones and coupled ones, good ones, lame ones, no bad ones, but mainly mediocre valentines. The single ones were never really that bad (except in high school, but high school doesn't count) because I still got candy and treats from my family and sometimes friends.  In fact, single valentines were sometines much more enjoyable because there wasn't pressure to get anyone anything and a secret dread that my boyfriend would get me something lame. 
Turns out, what I really don't like about Valentines day, is all the hype.  I do like celebrating when I am with someone (and now I do since Mike's my perma-date), and the chocolates and flowers are a nice touch too if they accompany the valentine. (note: chocolate and flowers are a nice touch on any occasion)
Anyway, Mike and I started dating a week after Valentines day, so last year was our first valentines together.  We were trying to figure out the the other's expectations of the day and how we should celebrate.

me: I don't really need to make a big deal over valentines day honey.
mike: Cool. But what does that really mean?
me: I like the day acknowledged, but it doesn't have to be anything elaborate and over the top.
mike:  Oh, ok.
me: And by acknowledged, I mean flowers.
mike: --nodding-- Ok.
me: And by flowers I mean roses.
mike:--nodding again-- ok.

Valentine's day you know what showed up on our porch? Roses. Oh yeah, I knew I had a keeper!
Love you honey!
Happy Valentine's Day everyone!

Watch the princess bride or I'll divorce you

Watch the Princess Bride or I'll divorce you. Replace "any Disney movie" for Princess bride and you have my life.

Last night:  
me (sprawling on the couch): Ooooh the Lion King in theaters again! In 3d!
mike: you know, I don't think I've ever seen the Lion King.
--here I bolt upright to a sitting position, my eyes widen and I and gasp in horror--
me: WHAT??
mike: Well I know of this part.
--Here he mimics the famous Rafiki holding Simba cub to the Sahara screen shot.--
Still being in complete shock over his announcement, I do not find his attempt at charades humorous, nor does it justify his Lion King viewing lack.
me: Everybody knows that part! What do you mean you haven't ever seen the Lion King?!
mike: I just haven't seen it.
me: How is that even possible? Everybody has seen the Lion King!
mike: Hey, that's not true. Think of when it came out, I was too old to see Disney movies in theaters.
me: That is not true. I saw it in theaters. You are never to old to see Disney movies in theaters.
mike: You're a girl
me: That's no matter.  This is unacceptable. It is a very good thing that it is coming to theaters, because we are most definitely going to go see it now.
mike: Well, if that's what you want...
me: Of course. God, I still cannot believe you haven't seen the Lion King.
mike: HA! I just got out of Step Up 4!
me: Worth it.

Note: I'm sure some other terrible sea creature movie will come out around the same time as Step up 4ever does.  And even one doesn't, that's what I have my girlfriends for. 

Ultimatum

I was on facebook and I saw that on one of my (peripheral) friend's wall, his girlfriend had posted a picture of a diamond ring and announced that she was "officially the last single one. It's your (his) turn."

Yeah. Like that's going to work.  It'll probably work just as well as that propose by new years or get out ultimatum she gave him almost 4 years ago.  He ended up just ignoring it and doing nothing, and she didn't push the issue or make him get out either. So...yeah. 

Oh well, like I said he's a peripheral friend and I barely knew the girlfriend.  Maybe she's just teasing and this time it'll work.  But I also don't really care to find out one way or the other. 

I AM your teenage dream

TrueBlood came back Sunday, but HBO's too expensive here, so I don't get to watch it (SOBS!) right away.  I'm dvr-ing it at my parent's house so I'll have a major watch binge in a few weeks, but still, it hurts.  So on Sunday, as I was trying to ignore the fact that it was 9:01 and I was flower researching instead of vampire watching, Mike starts flipping though the tv guide.  And Syfy has a new movie: Swamp Shark. 

If there's one thing that I've learned since being with Mike, is that made for tv syfy channel movies are so incredibly campy and terrible, that they are freaking awesome.  This is the is perfect distraction to my Trueblood deprivation!  So as he pauses on Swamp Shark, I say "why haven't you flipped to that yet?!?!" 

It was terrible, but in an awesome way.  The next night, there is still nothing on, so I flip to the NFL's top 100 players of 2011.  If there's another thing I've learned about since being with dr soc, is that he cannot live without NFL football. (When we first started dating I told him about my fantasy football team specifically for the reason that I hoped it would make him like me more. (and it worked!))  So as we're watching this count down, I had this realization:

Yesterday I insisted we watch a syfy movie and I just flipped to football related tv.  I am my fiance's dream woman.

Full Circle

Dr soc and I took this weekend to visit Lexington and select some of the major wedding things.  When we first discussed marriage I told him I wanted to get married in Lexington, since it's where I grew up and it's where we met, and he agreed. 

So we get into town and are heading out to appointments, but dr soc needed to get new shoes.  He had stained them when cutting my parents grass (such a good future son-in-law!), and since I will never turn down a chance to go shoe shopping, we add that to our list of errands.  I tried on a fabulous pair of royal blue Betsy Johnson shoes that were a half-size too small, but they were fabulous and on sale so I had to at the very least try them on.  (I considered them for my wedding shoes, but I decided that cutting off a few toes to wear them all wedding day long wasn't worth it).  But dr soc eventually found a pair he liked and on sale, so we start walking back to the car to grab lunch and then look at some venues. 

We're about to cross into the parking lot, and we're waiting on this one last car to turn.  As it drives past, I noticed it has a school insignia vanity plate, which I quickly read, judged and forgot about.  I look to my other side to see if we can finally cross when dr soc says "oh my god," and laughs a little nervously.

me: What?
dr soc: That, that was my ex-girlfriend. Sh*t.
me: Which one?
dr soc: K.
me: Ohhh.  Ok.
dr soc (flustered): Hell, I haven't seen her in something like 3 years.  I move from Lexington and the weekend that I come back with my fiance, to look at wedding stuff, I see her.  I guess things come full circle.
me: --Snort--

I laughed because I know their history, (well, his side) so I know this was an ugly breakup, a big o'l mess later totally Lifetime movie* story worth. And because I am supportive, I end up getting a major kick out of this and giggle over it for the next 2 days at his discomfort.  Yep, supportive.  Now I just wonder if we'll see the other ex when we go take our engagement pictures. 

*If he was the central character of the movie, the movie would end happily by him receiving my eharmony profile.  But since it's a Lifetime movie, the movie would more than likely feature his ex as the main character and portray him as the calous guy)
 

Best Rapture Day EVER!!

Saturday was supposed to be the rapture and the world was going to end.  I put no stock into this because I have plans and these plans do not account for the world ending. 

Anyway, Saturday was an ordinary day except for that Mike and I found find our favorite Chinese restaurant.  The food was really good, the servers were attentive, and oh yeah,

IT'S WHERE HE PROPOSED!!!!!!!!

I was so in shock that I don't even remember saying yes, he put the ring on my finger and the whole place clapped and cheered for us as I cried and we hugged.  It was beautiful and wonderful and romantic and just the happiest moment of my life.  I haven't been able to stop squealing and giggling since.

So, the world didn't end.  But it certainly did change! Best rapture day ever.  

First Round

Happy NFL draft day!  Ok, so I'm not as excited about that as say, dr soc is, but at least my Panthers have first pick! Wait. 

I don't really care about the draft at all.  But dr soc really really does.  He can't live without NFL football and since he's a long suffering Browns fan, his team usually has one of the first few picks in the draft.  This is their moment!  (Because I love my boyfriend I also cheer for the Browns now too.  I've already learned the most important phrase of being a Browns fan: there's always next year.)  So when I say he's excited, he's super excited.  You know how I took off running down the bubble of tulle path?  It's something like that for him, only with less squealing and no need for deposits.   

Anyway, he's cleaning up after dinner last night and talking all excited about draft day and I'm just uh-huhing like you do.  But he made some joke about how awesome it would be if he had the connections to select me in the draft as his wife.  Which, hell yeah!  I actually want that moment to be fairly private and really just between us (and maybe the dogs), but how freaking awesome would that be?  With the 6th pick of the nfl draft dr soc picks Sarah to be his wife.  Total awesomesauce. 

Because the ring hasn't come in yet and I know there are too many strings that have to be pulled for that to even be possible, it definitely got me thinking: I better be a first round pick!

Underneath the Christmas Tree

I have always thought it would super romantic to get engaged around Christmas.  Christmas can be very romantic if you make it that way, and proposing is super romantic, so to me, the two just go together.  So I've hoped that if the timing was right, I would get a proposal at the most magical time of the year. 

However, real life and fanciful proposal dreams often don't follow a plan, nor do they line up.  And so, when I got engaged the first time, a Christmas time proposal would have either been too soon in our relationship or past the point of me being patient and understanding.  But the lack of twinkling lights was no biggie since I was happy that it happened, and it didn't matter it wasn't at the time I imagined.  And also, turns out, that future husband was a dud.

So then the Christmas proposal still had the possibility of happening.  And I was fortune to get an upgrade on the future husband in the form of dr soc.  So I also get a do-over (or do-better) with this engagement and proposal.  So I could very well get my super romantic underneath the Christmas tree proposal.

Except for the fact that is is April right now and dr soc is going to ask me to marry him soonish.  I know it's soonish because yesterday he and I looked at the center stone for my ring an there's a deposit involved. (I was told to look around the store while the financial and timing aspects were discussed jeweler to future fiance.)

Now there's nothing that says dr soc couldn't wait until Christmas.  Except for the fact that I seriously can't wait that long.  I'm already nuts with excitement and the waiting is driving me a little (lots) crazy.  And I know that I know the ring's been ordered so I know the time frame that it'll come in.  Sooner's way better than later on this.  So when December rolls around and it is the most magical time of the year, I'll have a fiance by my side to celebrate.  Squee!

Mystery Socks

There is a pair of white ankle socks in our laundry that are neither mine or dr soc's. Every time one of us finds that particular pair of socks while folding the laundry, we put it in the other one's sock drawer or back into the dirty laundry basket.  It's what we do.    

However, when we each discover the rouge pair in our drawer, we have the who's are these discussion.  We finally deduced they are probably some sort of ass tax, and figured out but left unspoken that they are probably my ex-fiance's since that's the most likely way either one of us would have ended up with some other guy's socks.  (If that's the case I really didn't even know I still had them. I threw the contents of my dresser into some bags and moved to Charlotte.)  

So yesterday, I saw them in my sock drawer, and of course we had the these-are-not-mine-discussion.  And I decided to save us from 50 more years of bickering about who's socks are who's I would just throw them away.  And thus: problem solved! 

Just a little more Crow

I love jewelry.  Wait, let me rephrase that: I LOVE jewelry.  Rings, bracelets, necklace, earrings, broach, and yes a tiara, I love it all.  Diamonds, gemstones, semi-precious stones, platinum, 18 carat gold, sterling silver, jade, you name it, my interest is at the very least piqued.  So, you can imagine the sheer amount of will power I had to use to not squeal like a 4th grader and weep with joy at the 4 jewelry stores dr soc and I went to yesterday while we ring shopped.

Did you know we have a Tiffany's in Charlotte?  Do you know who's the best boyfriend ever and indulged me?  Boy oh boy, do they do sparkle well there.  There's a reason they have mirrors everywhere in that store.  Not only to make everything glitter more, but so you can see how your own face lights up when you look at a diamond so near flawless that it disappears underneath all the rainbows it reflects out.  However, that ring was $18,000.  We found a just as sparkly but slightly smaller ring much more reasonable priced at $13,000 though.  But even at that reasonable price, I could never justify buying a ring that cost more than a car. 

We went to two other local jewelers and tried on stuff there as well.  I think I behaved myself well enough or else dr soc wouldn't have kept taking me to more stores.  Of course I'm gravitating towards the rings with the larger center stones.  Of course I am.  But I'm also really into the halo setting too, which don't need as big a center stone to make the ring.  The halo setting allows for a variety of band styles, which can completely change the style of the ring.  

So I'm trying on ring after ring and we're getting a better idea of what I say I like and what I actually like and Mike is starting to understand what he likes too.  And I try on this rather large halo setting with a carat center stone and a split shank band.  Beautiful in the case, but just not the right shape and size for my own hand.  It was too big.  I know.

So I turn to away from the sparkler on my finger and towards my darling boyfriend.  And I say to him: "I'm going to say something I never thought I'd say.  But this ring is too big!"