Sunday, June 21, 2015

Father's day

Today will be the hardest father's day for me. Next year I will tell my baby what a wonderful grandpa they had, but this year I am just going to miss my daddy.
I will tell them: 
How he could always comfort me.
I guess 80's babies were allowed to sleep on their stomachs...
How he was always willing to help and had the biggest sweet tooth.
Making one of our birthday cakes (both of our birthdays are in July)
How supportive he was and how we had so much fun.
Swings, roller coasters and building sand castles, dad had our back
 And that he always listened to me chatter on.
And on... (I'm sure he tuned me out at some point, but you can't blame him)
He was so proud of and loved both his girls so much
Even if his signature look was just shaking his head at our teenage girl antics
But most of all, I will tell them how much I will always love him, and how much I know he loves them. 
So next year as we're wishing dr soc a happy fathers day, I will also tell them that before mommy was a mommy, she is and always will be my daddy's girl.

I love you daddy. Happy Father's day.

Sunday, June 7, 2015


Friday morning June 5 2015 I lost my daddy.
I don't have anything poignant to say. I miss him so much and my heart is aching in a way I never knew possible. And though I knew this would be the end result, it didn't make the actual event any easier to handle and the truth is you will never be ready to loose a parent. 
As his end drew close I didn't know if I would be strong enough to be there. But when it was time, holding his hand with my mom, telling him how much I love him and that everything would be ok, it was the only place in the world I was going to be.
I'm devastated my father is no longer physically on this earth with us. But I am happy he's at peace. I'm relieved my family's struggle with this disease is over. And I know he'll always be with me, and I take comfort knowing he was always loved and that he loved us.