My dad's girl

 Ten years ago my dad passed away. I'm....okay, but also not. Because it's been ten years. Enough amount of time the raw overwhelming malaise has quieted, but also a lot of time to have lived with that loss with no end.    

And so, life keeps moving. You adapt. The platitudes become rote and poignant. And the first 5 years were so hard. So very, very hard. But year six, I was okay, and the last  5 years I've been able to acknowledge the significance of the date and not let it consume me. And I think that's where I am today.  So...

Hi Dad!

Thanks for all the listening

I miss you. A lot. Especially today.

And love you, always and forever. 

       

Birthday Present

Last year I set an intention for my 40s: become a published author.  Granted as of today I still have 9 years to make that happen, but I want it to happen sooner rather than later. Because...I wrote a book. Yup, I really did. A whole 105K words and 238 pages of...well, no spoilers. 

Okay, okay, it's a work of fiction covering events that may or may not happened the years prior to this blog starting that also may or may not be NSFW. Please note that names, characters, business, events and incidents are the product of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to any actual of the aforementioned nouns, living or dead, are purely coincidental. 

So....yeah. I want a legit book deal. A deal that works with editors, publishers and promoters who do the work of selling millions to book stores. Not to mention they would arrange the book tour because I don't have the energy or time to do that with being a working mom and all. If that doesn't happen I know I could self publish, but I don't want to do all that work either for the same reason.  

If anything this blog and the reactions I receive have given me an overinflated sense of confidence that I already have an audience. But I really do think I have a story and a writing style that people who don't know me would actually want to read.

So for my birthday this year, I'd like a book deal. If anyone can make that happen you'd usurp dr soc as my favorite person.       

Truths

 Welp. As of today I'm 40. (FUCK). I mean, it's great I'm here. My 20s were fun, and I married the love of my life. My 30's I had my children and those two are...my greatest joys and my greatest annoyances. So my 40s...let's see what this decade brings! 

But what kind of milestone birthday blog would this be if I didn't do some sort of soapbox reflection? So I will present you some truths I stand by my 40 trips around the sun

• A good pen will make or break your day.
• A person's use of spell check is a determining factor in friendship levels.
• I loathe text talk.  
• Pandas are assholes.
• The patriarchy sucks.
• There is nothing redeemable about a Tuesday. 
• Glitter is the herpes of crafts
• Never trust a girl without girlfriends.
• Or squirrels.
• Always, always smell the milk first
• Generic applesauce and oatmeal taste like cardboard
• There is no such thing as a "quick trip to Ikea."
• Don't buy generic toilet paper. Ever
• Tupperware is unable to be organized and is my nemesis.
• You can never have too many coats.
• Or chairs.
• Or books! (don't you say a thing dr soc!)
• Removing that stay hair bothering the crap out of you from your clothes is one of life's greatest victories.
• With small children it's best not to ask what a stain is.
• Wearing a dress or skirt with pockets automatically defaults to a good day.
• I cannot please everybody. I am not a taco.
• A taco can fix almost everything.
• I'm very likeable.

Life doings

So. My last mommy blog (okay, last blog in general tbh) in while was when girl 2 turned 3...almost a year ago now. So. Girl 1 has had a 21-22 year! She

Started kindergarten. First day!

Y'all I blinked! (no tears (from both of us) either!) 

Turned 6 with a princess party.

Thanks to our surprise guest Arial for making her princess party the talk of her class 

Broke her wrist. She fell off her scooter onto the sidewalk mid-May. Stay tuned for another blog on why dr soc and I are assholes. 

The cast came off in June so no more summer cast

And 'graduated' kindergarten and is first grade bound!

Y'all I blinked again!
(mom tears at this one, no lie)

Not to mention made new friends, started (and finished) gymnastics (the broken wrist put the kibosh on that), she's reading out loud to us now, went to a princess concert, and wants to be a ballerina when she grows up, amongst other life doings. She loves wearing dresses and is our little fashionista too. Physically she's small for her age just like her mom was, but she's healthy and growing on her curve.  She drives me crazy at times, but she is also one of the most sweet, most empathetic little human I've even met. And as cliché as it is, she really is growing up so incredible fast! 

SURPRISE!

For my parents' 10 year anniversary, my dad gave my mom a pearl necklace and showed it to my sister and I beforehand and told us "don't tell mommy."

My sister just flat out snitched, "it's a necklace." 
But I did not tell. I just dropped very subtle hints. Like, "you're gonna like it!" "It's really pretty!" And the most cryptic clue of them all "you wear it here," and patted my collarbone. 

Somehow my mom figured something was up. *shrugs* 

In my defense, this was 1987 and I was five (a young one at that). And, my mom didn't know it was a pearl necklace, so she was still surprised. And then 25 years later she let me borrow that necklace for my wedding, so it all worked out.  

Now lets fast forward to 2022, and my 10 year anniversary with dr soc was coming up. As you can see from yesterday's post he got me some bling bling* and I loves it. Beforehand he enlisted girl 1's help and she took her duty incredibly serious and as enthusiastically as she could. Girl 1 is 6. 

*yes I know I'm dating myself with that vernacular term

And so, the 2022 scene played like this:   

dr soc: yeah, my (wedding) ring is a bit tight and I may get it resized, but I don't remember what size I am

6: mommy, I need a tracing of your hand. 

me: yeah I had to get remeasured when I got my (wedding) ring resized last year. 

dr soc: ah-

6: mommy, what I really need a tracing of the finger you wear your rings 

dr soc: -

me: oh okay after dinner-

6: no lets do it now, here let me get a piece of paper and a pen for you. 

--7 seconds later ---

6: here, put your hand here (points to the paper she had slapped in front of me), and trace like this (starts tracing my hand) no spread your fingers out .

dr soc: rubs the bridge of his nose

6: okay that looks good I'm just going to cut this out. 

me: that's great honey -

6: now I can always have a high five from you! 

dr soc: sigh

me: That makes perfect sense kiddo.

--- 3 minutes later ---

6: daddy! -whispers- I got it! (slips him the cutout of my hand in front of me and giggles hard core* proud of the mission accomplished)

*also dating myself with this term and I don't care  

Somehow I figured something was up. *shrugs* But hey, at least she didn't flat out snitch!   

 

 

Introducing...

Ryder!

His full name is Ryder, Sir Snuggles of Our Silly Named St, The House Sociology, First of his Name, Protector of Small Loud Humans, Sweeper of the Crumbs and All Around Good Boy.

 

Also known as our 11 month Boston Terrier/lab mix (mutt!) from the Boston Terrier Rescue Group of NC (link below).

All of us with full vocabularies got some part of what we wanted:

Girl 1 wanted another Boston: 

Boston (mix aka mutt) ✔

Dr Soc wanted a puppy:

11 months < year = puppy ✔

And I was adamant* we rescue or adopt

 * I was also adamant I would never get another puppy yet here we are so... 

I loves him! Thanks BTRNC ✔

89% of me loves him so so much

1% will always miss the girls over the rainbow bridge  

and 10% of me can't believe I got suckered into another puppy! 

Oh well! Welcome to the family Ryder!

Jules

Jules crossed the rainbow bridge yesterday. She turned 13 in April but had started limping the beginning of the year and was starting to show her age. Last week she stopped eating and then suddenly it was time to let her go. When Bailey died she hadn’t been with us for several years, plus I wasn't the one who had to make the end of life decision. With 2 very noisy kids and their stuff everywhere you might not think our small quiet dog being gone would have such an effect, but wow, does it. I mean, we have crumbs now. Innocuous right? But no, all those seemingly innocuous things...hits hard. Without Jules now it feels...lonely. 

But what a good girl she was! Some of the best moments:

her blog debut

laser eyes

wow could these 2 mayhem!

though she did eat some of my best pregnancy snacks

She was so good with the human babies:

will snarf for foods

Jules: nothing to see here human. Jules got this 

girl 2: mommy! we have a dog!?!
Jules: drop those cheerios bald puppy

and by far the best broom we've ever had

whatever you have I want

strolling through her neighborhood

Sun on my belly, 'dis the life!

yard✔ sunshine✔ toy✔

you no dad lap...but you only lap here...so...

'dis my human! (both with more hair but less gray ones) 

beach please!

teenager Jules: ugh, go away human and leave me with my toy 

I batman bitch

Dear Jules, you are missed. Thank you for loving us silly humans and tolerating the little loud ones we brought in your house. Frolic happy spunky girl. And rest in peace sweet pup. 

Salty Bedtime

The past month bedtime with the girls has been...challenging. Bedtime routine is supposed to go:
- 7pm -

- Nighttime potty (Girl 1) /nighttime diaper* change (Girl 2)
- Vitamin
- Brush teeth
- Stories
- Kisses/hugs, go to rooms
- Sleep: around 7:30pm 

*We** are also trying to potty train at this time

**mom and dad are, Girl 2 is nope.    

Here's how bedtime routine actually goes:
- 7pm-7:30ish Shit it's bedtime -

- Nighttime potty (Girl 1) /nighttime diaper change (Girl 2)

1: Cajole into performing basic body function of going to the bathroom 

- Vitamin
- Brush teeth

fight over step stool, put toothpastes on tooth brushes. 1: whine/cry "I need help" because bodily function. 2: run giggling with the toothbrush in mouth  

- Stories
- Kisses/hugs, go to rooms

1: You need to go to your bed in your room. No you do not get another story. No it's not time to play with us. What do you want to show me? Yes you can play/listen to your music in your room but do so quietly. Shhh! Shhhh! (nothing is louder than girl 1 trying to be quiet)

- This part has been ALL ME the past month -  

2: Snuggle/rock. Exhaust. Lullaby. Put in bed. Put in bed. Put in bed... Eventually lay down in bed with mommy is snuggling.* Freak out/cry run if mommy inches** away.***  

*uncomfortably laying on the floor and toddler bed

**lay on floor next to bed trying to work out neck kink.

***literally scoot inch by inch towards the door while fighting all the lingering mommy exhaustion from the past month

- Sleep: 10pm or later

Tuesdays I get home from work around 8:30 so it's 100% dr soc/daddy bedtime. Last night went like:  

- 7pm

- Nighttime potty/diaper change

- Vitamin

- Brush teeth

- Stories

- Kisses/hugs, go to rooms

1: Plays fairly quietly in room until I come home and check on her. Thump. Thump. Thump. Honey, you need to whisper and and be still to be quiet. Thump. Thump. Thump. Repeat 17 times (give or take)

2: put in bed and fall asleep in 5 fucking minutes!!!!  

- Sleep: 1 no idea, late and mommy shushed as usual: 2: 7:fucking 30pm. 

I am thrilled all my work and rigmarole got girl 2 to sleep in 5 fucking minutes. But I am also salty as hell she fell asleep in 5 fucking minutes for dr soc.  So glad I made that part of parenting easier for my husband.  So yes, happy overall. But also incredibly salty because fucking hell 5 minutes with no snuggling, rocking, exhausting, parental yoga moves, inching away! What the hell kid?!

Pick your battles

Dr soc has been on this eating healthy salad kick so ultimately I don't have to kill him for dying on me. Seeing as we've been together* for 11 years as of today I need him to stick around as my partner in crime, parenting hijinks coconspirator but mostly someone I can occasionally talk shit about when I'm deflecting from my own shortcomings. 

*as well as put a ring on it and let him get me pregnant twice 

Anyway, back to the salads, he eats a lot and prefers a larger bowl for his rabbit food. The largest bowls that we have are the mixing bowls, but I have a hard line that you do not eat from the mixing bowls. See I almost killed someone for always eating out of the mixing bowls and I could never use them for cooking when I needed* them. To save my future relationships and myself from heartbreak, I drew that line and decreed it a rule. Dr soc is awesome and obeys and I tweeted how glad I am for that because divorce is a lot of paperwork.  

*that same someone never did the dishes either 

I'm explaining the origins of that rule and a coworker who's been married for longer than I've been alive, and they decide to impart the following wisdom about marriage: pick your battles.

My response: I have! This is one. DO. NOT. EAT. FROM. THE. MIXING. BOWLS! 

Love you honey! Thanks for not making die on that* hill!

*I'm sure there will be others. I just don't have to die on that particular one.

With-

Ten years ago I emailed my girlfriends I had a date that night with this guy named Mike I had been emailing with for 2 weeks.   

And guess happened? 

I married him and had his babies! And tag him on facebook because that makes it official. 

With my favorite person

Love you dr soc!

Hard Day

Today is the 4th anniversary of my dad's death, but this year it's weighing on me a lot since having to explain that to my 3 year old.

I was telling her that Grandma C (my mom) lives in Kentucky. She asked if Grandpa Steve lived there too, because Grandma S and Papa live together in Ohio. I told her he used to live there, but now he's in heaven. And because she's 3-
3: Can he come visit us?
me: No honey, he can't. And we won't see him right now, at least for a while.
3: Can we see him?
me: No sweetheart. No, not for a long time.
3: Why?
me: Well, um, he died a few years ago, before you were born.
3: Why did he die?
me: -deep breath- he was very, very sick.
3: Did he take any medicine?
me: He did, but he was so sick medicine couldn't help.
3: Why?
me: Sometimes people get so sick medicine won't work anymore.
3: Oh. Will he come back? Will he wake up?
me: No honey, that's not how death is. When someone dies, their spirit is gone.
3: What's that?
me: umm, a spirit is... Well, you know how you can see and hear things? And you talk, breath, and laugh? All those things?
3: yes!
me: well, all that together, that's a spirit. So my daddy's spirit is...is...it's gone sweetie.
3: oh.

By then I was pretty drained and I was starting to well up, so dr soc quickly changed the conversation and gave my hand a reassuring squeeze.

--later that night as we were tucking her into bed--

3: Mommy? Were you sad when your daddy died?
me: Yes sweetie. Very very sad. 

I still am. Miss you daddy.

Waiting on my Book Deal

All library workers are writing the Next Great American novel as we sit around and read all day. True fact. Now, I have no disillusions my book will be the Next Great American Novel, but I do have over-inflated sense of importance that the world needs to hear my musings so I am absolutely deserving of a book deal. For these 2 reasons:

Reason 1: I have a blog. And I started my blog at the tail end of men everyone with a blog gets a book deal. And this blog has many, many components of a book deal. Such as:

1. It is about my real life exploits and I am an extremely relatable heroine/protagonist.
2. I express my opinions in snarky hilarious ways, because I write like I talk and I make people laugh All. The. Time. rehashing the aforementioned real life exploits. Whimsical loquacious bloggers get book deals.
3. It has a built in story arc of a book deal. (broken engagement→dating→meeting dr soc→ marrying dr soc→best/worst wife ever→pregnancy→mommy)
4. The built-in story arc from my real life exploits have made whyeverythingshouldbepink several 'types' of blogs that get book deals. While mostly a 'lifestyle' blog it also a 'dating' blog, a running 'fitness' blog, a dog 'pet' blog, a bubble of tulle 'bride' blog, a  married, pregnant lady 'personal' blog, and it's currently 64% hilarious/heartwarming/jerky adventures of my children (and the stockpile of drafts to prove it) 'mommy/parenting' blog.  And mommy/parenting blogs always get a book deal. 

But like I said, I started at the tail end of the blog = book deal. By the time I had the content and story arc of a book deal, that ship had mostly sailed. Maybe. Sigh. But!

Reason 2: Twitter. I mastered the art of eloquently voicing my thoughts in 140 characters or less without using text talk like an uncultured swine. I have been (and continue to do so frequently) tweeting well before everyone with a slightly amusing/witty/prolific twitter feed also receives a book deal. Plus now that Twitter allows 280 characters and I finally figured out how to put returns in my tweets, it's like I've been writing nothing but mini novels. Maybe the Next Great American Novel even.

So. With those 2 reasons I really can't help to wonder: Where is my book deal?

Mommy Wars

I know the mommy wars have been around* forever, but social media made them hyper competitive and omnipresent. If you aren't humble bragging about being super mom with a #trope on social media, then why even bother? Which is total bullshit by the way. But whether you like it or not, the mommy wars have a way of finding you. Though the good news is even when they do find you, you don't actually have to compete (even though most people do because it's a vicious, vicious trap).

Me? I'm a just-enough mom. Just enough that you can't** mom shame me, while simultaneously setting expectations just low enough no one asks me to do anything either. Just enough. And then, when I am inevitably in charge of some class party/treat bag/bake sale/nonsense, I will absolutely rock it because I am an awesome hostess and will celebrate the shit out of whatever it is, and blow people's minds.

Just enough FTW

*My dad has a cousin one month older and one month younger than him because their moms (3 sisters) were in fierce competition with each other, over everything, and all the time.
**well you can, but not without being petty as fuck which then completely nullifies the superiority high of mom shaming. 

Bleed Blue

My dad was an election official and our polling place was literally up the street. So I remember walking up there to bring him lunch and visit when we were kids. My dad rarely took a day off work, so that he was taking a whole work day off to do this maybe instilled in me voting is just what you do.

So you don't have to preach to me about going to vote. I will. I have. I just did. I've voted in every election I've been eligible to do so. Dad always made sure to send my sister and I absentee ballots all our college years. In fact, I think absentee ballot is the only way I voted my first few elections. As an idealistic 17 year old I registered as an Independent so I could only vote in the general election for a while there. But I'd still vote. Eventually I switched to Democrat so I could vote in the primaries, even thought I knew my blue party vote stood a snowball's chance in hell of counting in my Old Kentucky* solid red Home state.

And here it is, election day again, and I'm voting blue in a red area. The state is purplish (reddish purple really, but there is some blue in North Carolina. Some), but just over the county line more rural suburbia where I live is definitely red.     

I wonder what it's like to have a vote that counts?

Civic Duty done!** I took both girls with me because I think it's important for them to see me do so.

Principles over practicality.

*For a state that proudly claims to "bleed blue" they certainly vote red. 😣
** The sticker lady asked girl 1 if she or mommy got the*** sticker. Really? 1 sticker? You're going to break my child's heart and not offer her her own sticker? You have a whole roll! And it's not like enough people even vote in the first place and like you're going to run out?
***I let girl 1 have it when we left our polling place, but she gave it back to me when I left for work.  

Color Scheme

My friends bought a thing, aka a new house, so they're selling their old one. To actually sell the old house they have to repaint the entire place gray because people would rather buy that than their meticulously-thought-out-color-schemed-by-actual-designers one. Because people like to think they are creative and original when 80% of people's favorite color is blue and they're just going to put in whatever's trendy (and ultimately dated) anyway. 

  

Whatever. While discussing this with my girlfriends I suggested the color "Monterrey Bisque" because: "it's beige as fuck." My mom painted the entire house that due to her lack of imagination (which she admits) and is afraid of color which I can prove because she told me the neutral tiles I suggested for the back splash had "too much color." 🙄 

Anyway. We came up with our own designer-educated-suburban-color-pallet. Including: 

"Beige as Fuck" 

"Fuckit. Just paint it white"

"Suburban Sunkiss" (pale yellow)  

"Just a bit of green for pizzazz"

Happy painting!

10 years later

So. In 2008, that is 10, yes, 10 years ago, I started this blog with 100 things about me. 
Some things in that 100 haven't changed. Such as: 

• My favorite color is pink.
• I talk all the time unless I am exhausted or mad as hell.
• I do whatever Jeanne tells me (PS: buy her yarn!)
• I'm allergic to cats (including that mother f*cking one)
• Text talk is one of my biggest pet peeves.

Some things are in the past and therefore cannot change. Such as: 

• My appendix ruptured and had to be removed when I was 6.
• I had my belly button pierced until I was 21 when a drunk wrestling match went horribly, horribly wrong. 

Some parts of things have changed. Like: 

• In 2008: I know so much random pop culture stuff, but not as much as my friend LB. 
• In 2018: I know practically nothing pop culture unless I heard it on NPR. LB still knows more than me though so I have her explain things. Or have my (much) younger coworkers explain things to me (occasionally I get to tell them stories of my youth).  
• In 2008: I don't judge my friends. But everyone else is fair game. 
• In 2018: I don't cast my judgement net as broadly. I realized for the most part no one really knows anyone's story. So when I do judge it's typically warranted or I'm just being a bit (or lot) of an asshole.

And some things are just not the same at all. Like: 

• My dad was alive in 2008. He was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia in 2010 and up until he passed away in 2015 it changed so much. It changed my parent/child relationship with both my parents. It lead to some serious crisis's. I found courage I didn't know I had. The fights my mom and I got into. He died right before father's day and while I was pregnant with little turkey I'll never forget being there when he died, and how it it was one of the saddest and strongest moments of my life. I miss him so much and always will. 
• But the biggest most changing thing that has happened in 10 years is that I married the love of my life in 2012 and we have two children! 
• Because when I started this blog I had just broken an engagement. It HURT for a long time. It was hard. I grieved over my could have been, I vented. I cried. I was angry. I wished a lot. I wondered. I doubted. 
• BUT! Ultimately, many, many, much more wonderful things were a result of that broken engagement. Like having an epiphany. Discovering what I truly wanted in a a husband. I celebrated things. And came up with multiple, (often time) hilarious, random lists. So the day came and went and life moved on. 
• And life got better. I met dr.soc and we clicked pretty quick. He had 19 out of  21 of my husband checklist. I was so happy engaged to him and swirling around in the bubble of tulle. Sometimes I'm a great wife and other times not so much. Our marriage isn't perfect (no one's is) and there were tough times I didn't talk about here. But our marriage is good, it's strong, our anniversaries keep coming and I know I wouldn't love him the way I do if I hadn't given back that other ring.  
• AND, dr soc and I created our own family! Which changed everything. Parenting will probably be what this blog will be about more often than not. Sometimes I'm a great mommy and have instagram to prove it. Other times I'm bad mommy and phone it in. It's all about finding the balance. But now my future think is beyond my own lifetime. I'm willing to fight for things, to voice my opinion, and try to make the world a better place now for my girls. Motherhood is hard and very challenging at times, but it's also one of the most fulfilling and wonderful things in my life.  

So. Ten years later, here I am! I hope my life is just as happy in another 10 years. Thanks for reading y'all!  

High Hopes

Girl-2 is a burper. Which is perfectly normal but since Girl-1 rarely burped (she still doesn't burp much really) any burping, especially the juicy ones, we notice more. Dr soc and I (okay, more me than him) find burps hi-lar-ious, so we (okay, more me once again) have high hopes Girl-2 will one day give us a "Ben & Jerry's burp."

The backstory: Dr soc and I were on the patio of Ben & Jerry's one afternoon (either engaged or newly married) with a mom and her 2 kids, a boy and a girl. Out of nowhere, the girl (about 8) lets out this monster burp. I'm talking John-Belushi-frat-boy-dragon-roar-style burp, followed with a dainty "'s'cuse me!" I absolutely lost it, laughing so hard I couldn't stop. Dr soc was laughing too, but not nearly to my extent. The mom was mortified, but the girl was quite proud of herself judging from the smug smile she was giving her brother. From that moment on, that "Ben & Jerry's burp" was deemed the pinnacle of burps and utter hilarity.

So here's hoping one day, Girl-2 (or Girl-1, really, just one of them), gives a "Ben & Jerry burp" and I laugh as hard as I did that one afternoon!

Go Viral

It's a not so secret dream of mine to have one of my social media posts go viral. Or make it onto the huffington post funniest parents and/or women lists. However nowadays people go viral for the wrong reasons (major embarrassment, social gaffe, racist/sexist/idiotic/etc behavior followed by (hopefully) public outrage), so "going viral" probably shouldn't be on my life's accomplishment's list.
  
Anyway, I'm on my social media a lot right now (I'm on leave, newborns are pretty boring, the toddler is every bit a 2.5 year old so I have to vent and daytime tv sucks). All of those platforms have ads which I normally gloss over and dismiss. But this time I noticed all the ads were for diet products, workout routines, waist trainers, supplements etc, all these...things in an effort to motivate me to become an even "better" me.

And I'm like, I just had a baby. She's not even a week old, we're talking days. I housed a tiny human in me and literally pushed them out of my lady parts. Some might even consider that the epitome of what a lady's body can do. Here I am, sleep deprived, mentally exhausted, sore everywhere, ice packs on my raw nipples, wearing diapers (postpartum life is disgusting y'all), super hormonal, in addition to raising two very needy small humans to not be assholes and I'm supposed to be pretty too? WTF?
   
So I posted this on facebook: 

All the diet ads/products on my feed imply I should be getting back to societal set beauty standards and be ashamed of my current body for producing a healthy baby. 

Guess what world? Fuck off!

Us ladies giving a middle finger to that mindset
I also like the prominence of my double chin and how I don't give a rat's ass 

I tagged my husband (because when it involves the kids that's pretty much what we do), and got a respectable amount of likes and comments applauding my fuck off. In fact, one of dr soc's friends copied and pasted my status and gave me credit on her own wall and she got lots of likes too! So in my own way, I'm going to count that as going viral.

Achievement unlocked!

Party of four!

Yup, we're a party of 4 now! Our 2nd little lady arrived on July 23, 2018 at 9:57 pm, right on the cusp of leo! She's perfectly healthy, so tiny and our hearts couldn't be fuller. Turns out my maternal instinct was way off since I knew this one was a boy. But meh, she kept making moves like she was going to come out for 2 weeks and getting distracted. So I started referring to the baby as my little trickster towards the end, makes sense my girl would fool us all.

We're all adjusting as well as we can. Big sister likes little sister well enough but sees her more as a novelty at the moment. She "helps" in her own special toddler way, she'll bring us the right size diaper when changing the baby, and she'll yell sing her ABC's to calm the baby down in a meltdown. She has even managed to wait on occasion when she wants something but the baby is monopolizing my hands/boobs/time/overall being. Dr Soc can't feed the baby at the moment (we haven't started bottles yet) but he is secure enough in his masculinity to embrace being outnumbered forevermore (probably-the dog's a female but won't live forever, and who knows how the kids will identify themselves). And I'm recovering at whatever pace I want, and taking a nap (and/or eating) whenever I can.

Thank Heaven for Little Girls!

Old Wives Tales 2.0

We're waiting until Little Lion (or Crab depending when they are born*) to find out the sex of this baby. But just like their big sister, we have to rely on the old wives tales and speculate again.
*please just stay in until mommy's birthday kiddo!

Here are the 2018 old wives tales:

1. Sleep position: Sleep on my right side = girl, Sleep on my left side = boy
• I guess my right side more, because my back arches weirdly when on my left side. And once I'm on a side it's too much effort to roll over. But I'm actually most comfortable on my back. Girl
2. Nausea: Sick as a dog = girl. Happy no nausea preggo? = boy
• Remember my Long Jacket blog? Yeah. I was still sick the first trimester but it was a  different sick than my first pregnancy. That one I would puke at dinner time without fail, but this one was far less puking. (yay!) However overall I had a gross cloud of nausea all the time. Girl
3. Food cravings: sweet cravings and citrus = girl. Salty cravings = boy 
• Salt. OMG the salt. I'll still have a sweet tooth, and I like my orange juice in the morning and lemonade all the time. But for a while there I wanted nothing but chips and I may or may not have contemplated pouring the salt shaker directly into my mouth a few times. Boy
4. Food again: If you crave meat it's a boy. If you'd rather not: girl.
• Little Turkey I had a big meat aversion so no deli meat and soft cheese was no big deal. This pregnancy: I have never wanted that turkey sandwich I'm not allowed to have more. (still no love for soft cheese though) And hot dogs? Yes please (just nuke the hell out of them (or "forget" that guideline like I did because dammit I'm growing a human and I will eat what I want) Boy   
5. Soft or dry skin: soft = girl, dry = boy
• Dry. Dry, dry dry. I swear this kid is sucking all the moisture out of me now mater how much water I drink. Boy
6. Girls steel your beauty, boys enhance 
• I'm breaking out more than usual, but I actually put on makeup for a while there. And I've been told I'm "absolutely glowing" on several occasions. So I say boy because people tell me I'm pretty.  
7. Graceful swan= girl. Clumsy = boy
• Bending is highly overrated. Boy
8. A fuller full face = girl. Normal face = boy
• A little fuller but not like a puffer fish fuller. I've had mostly a normal face.  Boy
• I may have just asked my coworkers this for clarification and they all said "uuuh...normal?" So there may be some bull shit in there but I'm taking it.  
9. Moody? = girl. Even keel = boy
• Would it be considered moody if you don't give any fucks? Yeah when there are feels I have all of the feels. But mostly I've just given zero fucks for almost everything. Boy 
10. How I carry the belly: high = girl, low = boy
• Right right in the middle again. Neutral 
11. How I carry the belly "sports" edition: cute round basketball shape belly = boy. Not as cute wider pointier football shape belly = girl 
• Adorable basketball belly. Boy
12. Weight gain in the front = boy, weight gain that spread out = girl 
• I don't have ankles anymore. My wedding bands came off the first trimester. And my little sister's maternity pants are snug because I will always be taller and older. Girl. 
13. Conception age and the year are both even or odd = girl. An even/odd combination = boy
• I became pregnant at 35 in the year 2017. So two odds combo is a Girl
14. Heartbeat: 140+ = girl 140- = boy
• Most heartbeat readings have been less than 140.  Boy
15. Mommy's dreams: whatever you dream you're having-that's it.
• Somewhere in my nightly bat-shit crazy dreams I dreamed boy. Boy

So in the girl column we have: 4
And in the boy column we have: 10
And neutral for shits and giggles : 1

So...guess we'll see soon enough no matter what!