I need a talking to

When does wistful thinking become foolish? Or even worse, detrimental?

I need everyone to tell me to I'm wrong here. Because my wistful thinking is to be with him. I want him to move to Lexington (of course with the dog) to be with me. I want him leave that soul killing city and that stupid band, get his head out of his ass and realize that the rock star dream is A: never going to happen, and B: stupid. And I also want, no, expect unconditional support while I'm in school, and I also want to buy a house and raise a family with him in there too.

But for what really? Even if that happened, my wildest dreams came true exactly how I want them to; I know things wouldn't be any different. He'd say all the right things and promise the moon like always. And inevitably, fall short in some way and disappoint me. Or I preempt the disappointment by doing whatever needed to be done myself. Which always lead to him getting upset at me for assuming his short coming, when he rarely gave me a reason to believe anything otherwise. I learned I was going to be hurt regardless, by him disappointing me, or by him sulking becasue I didn't believe in him. So I just buttoned my lip when something bothered me, no matter how mad, sad or upset I got. All I did was keep score, and that's not what love is supposed to be. And when I start combing through the past in search of answers, I can see how lopsided somethings were (on both sides, I'm demanding). And then I'll get so worked up that I can barely see strait, or launch an angry rant (but is there such a thing as a non-angry rant?) and sometime shed tears out of frustration.

And even though I know I was settling, I sometimes think, well, it's not that bad an option. It has to be better then all these other draining and time consuming emotions I'm dealing with now. So please everyone, tell me I'm wrong for wanting those wishes to come true. Because I need to hear that I'm wasting my time wishing these foolish things