I'm at the alterer for my second fitting (squee!), and it happened to be a busy day for them. So I'm standing there, in my dress like you do, while my seamstress is pinning and measuring and color coding the bustle (heads up bridal posse: it's a 5(!) point bustle), and another, older, lady walks in the shop carrying some white undershirts. She heads directly towards my seamstress, who is on her knees, pinning and measuring and color coding my bustle to talk to her.
The older lady first apologizes to me for interrupting and attempts to smooth over some things by telling me I look beautiful (which, yes, I do, but that's not the point right now). The older lady's husband is waiting in the car for her and that's why she can't wait for her (my) seamstress to be done with my fitting. She needs the neckline changed in the undershirts she's carrying for her husband who's waiting in the car asap since he just had a something-ectomy in his throat, so the crew neckline irritates him.
Which, I get that she's on a bit of a time crunch. And I have some time so I'm not rushed at the moment. But then the older lady keeps discussing the neckline, about what she needs, and how she needs it soon, all while my seamstress is still on her knees at my hem with my gown in her hands. My seamstress has to stop what she was doing to feel the shirt, explain something, and then finally send her back to the front desk to schedule the pick up time. Then she can get back to the bustle of my dress which takes another 15-20 minutes to figure out, uninterrupted.
I know that my wedding is not the center of anyone else's universe except mine (somewhat dr soc's but I think we know it's overall more my thing), and she did tell me I was beautiful which is the quickest ways to break down my defenses. But it still felt a little rude to just barge into my appointment time. My seamstress was clearly working with a bride (we don't just stand around randomly in our dresses (do we? I don't)), in the middle of something. And it wasn't like there weren't other people there who could help her either, she had to have my seamstress. While I have just as much a claim to these ladies' time as anyone else, and everything got done for me in a timely manner, it still just felt a little rude.
Showing posts with label hmm. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hmm. Show all posts
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow
This was how long my hair was at noon today:
I lopped off 10 inches and plan to donate it. This will be my 3rd time doing so. Now my only question is should I donate it to Pantene Beautiful Lengths or Locks of Love? Sick kids or sick women? Tough call.
Well, I think I'll go with Pantene this time like I planned and then next time I'll give to Locks of Love.
Swish!
 |
| Long and healthy. It's been growing out since January 2009. |
And this is what it looks like now!
 |
| Cute and summery and swishy! |
Well, I think I'll go with Pantene this time like I planned and then next time I'll give to Locks of Love.
Swish!
Sunday, April 24, 2011
Leave a Note!
The other day Mike went into the office earlier than usual. Since I was sleeping pretty heavily he decided to not wake me up (a wise decision), but he didn't leave a note telling me that's what he had done (not a wise decision). So when I wake up and get out of bed, he's nowhere to be found in the house and there's no note telling me where he is. He had told me the night before what his plans were, but I was still pretty foggy in general since I had been sleeping so heavily. Remembering something he mentioned the night before in passing didn't cross my mind as the obvious answer, so I start to worry a little bit.
I look again for a note, but nada. I debate calling his office to see if he's there, but just to be safe I call his cell because that's on his person. If he doesn't answer that then I'll know to start worrying more. But he answers, he's in his office and he's perfectly fine. I do not let him off the phone though without a mild scolding telling him he needs to leave me a note other wise I don't know where he is, and I get confused and/or worry. Which I swear is not co-dependent at all.
Well, last night we rented the movie a 127 hours. I watched most of it. I say most because **spoiler** the amputation scene was too realistic and graphic for me and I had to close my eyes. But no one goes to look for Aron because no one knew where he was even going. The end of the movie it's revealed that Aron still does his outdoorsy stuff, but now always leaves a note saying where he's going. And while I know that neither Mike or I will ever be as extreme outdoorsy or as much as a loner as Aron was, I still turn to my boyfriend and say: "see how important it is to leave a note?"
I look again for a note, but nada. I debate calling his office to see if he's there, but just to be safe I call his cell because that's on his person. If he doesn't answer that then I'll know to start worrying more. But he answers, he's in his office and he's perfectly fine. I do not let him off the phone though without a mild scolding telling him he needs to leave me a note other wise I don't know where he is, and I get confused and/or worry. Which I swear is not co-dependent at all.
Well, last night we rented the movie a 127 hours. I watched most of it. I say most because **spoiler** the amputation scene was too realistic and graphic for me and I had to close my eyes. But no one goes to look for Aron because no one knew where he was even going. The end of the movie it's revealed that Aron still does his outdoorsy stuff, but now always leaves a note saying where he's going. And while I know that neither Mike or I will ever be as extreme outdoorsy or as much as a loner as Aron was, I still turn to my boyfriend and say: "see how important it is to leave a note?"
Wednesday, March 9, 2011
Dirty Laundry
I have an ex-fiance. Which, saying that 2.5 years ago would have made me break down into inconsolable tears, if I had managed to say that at all. But now, it's just part of my past and I accept it as that. (Doesn't mean all has been forgiven and forgotten and I wish him the best of luck or any other of that sunshine zen business. Still lots of anger and bitter you know). The point is that it's just a fact to me now. And while it may be in the past, that doesn't mean you or someone has to like it or need to be reminded of it with physical evidence.
Since the engagement ring (squee!) card has been seriously thrown into my field of vision, and I am a squealy, romantic girly girl, I have a hard time not being helpful and showing/telling/squealing to Mike about what we (uh huh) want his ring to be. And having already worn a ring, there's a precedent he (and me) wants to surpass (which it will, no matter what it looks like (ok, maybe not completely no matter...). A better/healthier relationship gives you a different focus other than the material aspect of it. Still, shiny+Sarah=squee!). Because I have the grace of an elephant when it comes to jewelry, eventually I just told him what my old engagement ring looked like. Which I didn't think had too much of an impact on him. But, turns out, dr soc is a little more sensitive to that than I thought. And here is how I know:
We were traveling recently and accumulated some dirty laundry like you do. I keep a reusable bag in my suitcase for the aforementioned dirty laundry. When I/we get home it and it's contents are thrown into the wash and c'est toute (that's french for that's all). We're getting ready to go someplace and dr soc is looking around wondering where as to put his laundry.
me: Oh honey, here's the laundry bag.
dr soc --takes it from me--: Thanks. --Notices the bag has a logo on it but doesn't recognize the name-- What's the name on it?
me: Oh, it's from the jeweler from where my ex got my center stone.
dr soc --his lips tighten just a little bit--: Oh. --shoves his laundry into the bag with gusto, packs it with a little more force than necessary, then drops the bag like 3rd period french.-- Well then I will most definitely put my dirty clothes in there now.
me (to myself, and a little smug* if we're being honest): Hmm, guess he's not as blase about it as I thought.
me out loud: Well, honey, you can see what I put in there too.
*having been guilty of a jealousy bout fairly recently, and also having been on the unfortunate ugly receiving ass hole end of it other times, it was a little gratifying to feel that I mattered)
Since the engagement ring (squee!) card has been seriously thrown into my field of vision, and I am a squealy, romantic girly girl, I have a hard time not being helpful and showing/telling/squealing to Mike about what we (uh huh) want his ring to be. And having already worn a ring, there's a precedent he (and me) wants to surpass (which it will, no matter what it looks like (ok, maybe not completely no matter...). A better/healthier relationship gives you a different focus other than the material aspect of it. Still, shiny+Sarah=squee!). Because I have the grace of an elephant when it comes to jewelry, eventually I just told him what my old engagement ring looked like. Which I didn't think had too much of an impact on him. But, turns out, dr soc is a little more sensitive to that than I thought. And here is how I know:
We were traveling recently and accumulated some dirty laundry like you do. I keep a reusable bag in my suitcase for the aforementioned dirty laundry. When I/we get home it and it's contents are thrown into the wash and c'est toute (that's french for that's all). We're getting ready to go someplace and dr soc is looking around wondering where as to put his laundry.
me: Oh honey, here's the laundry bag.
dr soc --takes it from me--: Thanks. --Notices the bag has a logo on it but doesn't recognize the name-- What's the name on it?
me: Oh, it's from the jeweler from where my ex got my center stone.
dr soc --his lips tighten just a little bit--: Oh. --shoves his laundry into the bag with gusto, packs it with a little more force than necessary, then drops the bag like 3rd period french.-- Well then I will most definitely put my dirty clothes in there now.
me (to myself, and a little smug* if we're being honest): Hmm, guess he's not as blase about it as I thought.
me out loud: Well, honey, you can see what I put in there too.
*having been guilty of a jealousy bout fairly recently, and also having been on the unfortunate ugly receiving ass hole end of it other times, it was a little gratifying to feel that I mattered)
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
No Boy Scouts
Dr soc and I were watching "I Shouldn't Be Alive" one night, and the story was about a boyscout troop that had gotten lost in the Grand Canyon. Three of the teens had separated from the troop to find help but they were suffering from severe dehydration and sunburn and were in grave danger of heat stroke. I noticed only two of the three real life shouldn't be alive interviewees were being interviewed, and thought that maybe one of the boys didn't make it. My suspicions were confirmed a few minutes later in the show when one of the boys succumbed to severe heat stroke even after medical attention was given.
This made us understandably sad, and the thought that this could happen to anyone's kids, especially mine, made me scared. But I need to lighten the air so I say to dr soc:
me: the kids are not going to be boy scouts.
dr soc: agreed.
me: besides, if they are boy scouts, at some point one of us would have to, ugh, camp with them.
dr soc: ugh. I definitely agree.
--a few minutes later--
me: oh another reason the kids can't be boy scouts: scout moms hate me.
This made us understandably sad, and the thought that this could happen to anyone's kids, especially mine, made me scared. But I need to lighten the air so I say to dr soc:
me: the kids are not going to be boy scouts.
dr soc: agreed.
me: besides, if they are boy scouts, at some point one of us would have to, ugh, camp with them.
dr soc: ugh. I definitely agree.
--a few minutes later--
me: oh another reason the kids can't be boy scouts: scout moms hate me.
Sunday, June 6, 2010
Go "There"
(This is sorta a 2 stories for the price of one blog btw)
Both my parent's wear some sort of corrective lens. Mom wears contacts and Dad wears bifocals he picked out in the 70's and refuses to change the frame style 40+ years later. So in 4th grade science class when we started taking baby steps into the world of genetics and hereditary traits, I knew that with both my parents eyes, it was only a matter of time before I would need glasses myself.
Two years later I got glasses and my eyesight continued to worsen for the next couple of years after that. Though they finally stabilized when I was in college. My prescription is fairly strong, strong enough that I cannot do anything without my glasses on. I'm uses to having some of the worst eyes in the group of people who wear corrective lenses group.
Turns out Dr Soc has even worse eyes. Almost 3x more worse then mine. Our kids are screwed. And when I told my friend that thought process she said: "oh, you went 'there.'"
Yeah. Opps. Didn't mean to do that quite so soon.
But then here's this: the other night Dr Soc and I went to dinner with some of my high school friends and the concept of twins came up. This concept horrified us all, from how comically huge we (the women) would grow if having twins, to raising two kids exactly the same age at the same time (that was more the men). Dr soc leans over and asks me:
Twins don't run in your family do they?
Me: No. Yours?
Dr soc: No.
Both of us: Phew.
So yeah, I went there. But it looks like he is a little too.
Both my parent's wear some sort of corrective lens. Mom wears contacts and Dad wears bifocals he picked out in the 70's and refuses to change the frame style 40+ years later. So in 4th grade science class when we started taking baby steps into the world of genetics and hereditary traits, I knew that with both my parents eyes, it was only a matter of time before I would need glasses myself.
Two years later I got glasses and my eyesight continued to worsen for the next couple of years after that. Though they finally stabilized when I was in college. My prescription is fairly strong, strong enough that I cannot do anything without my glasses on. I'm uses to having some of the worst eyes in the group of people who wear corrective lenses group.
Turns out Dr Soc has even worse eyes. Almost 3x more worse then mine. Our kids are screwed. And when I told my friend that thought process she said: "oh, you went 'there.'"
Yeah. Opps. Didn't mean to do that quite so soon.
But then here's this: the other night Dr Soc and I went to dinner with some of my high school friends and the concept of twins came up. This concept horrified us all, from how comically huge we (the women) would grow if having twins, to raising two kids exactly the same age at the same time (that was more the men). Dr soc leans over and asks me:
Twins don't run in your family do they?
Me: No. Yours?
Dr soc: No.
Both of us: Phew.
So yeah, I went there. But it looks like he is a little too.
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
Well Now What?
So last night, I told dr soc I was falling in love with him.
At least I think I did. I don't know if I actually said it see. Huh? What do I mean?
Well, I was really tired first off. Long trip home, up all night writing a (terrible) paper, stressed with school, feeling not ready for this half...you know, normal stress out stuff. Add to the tiredness a bath so I'm really relaxed. Add a glass of wine to that too. A big glass of good wine from Napa. (yes, wine in the tub. We're still in that romantic stage and I like it) So I'm a little drunk too.
So being tired, relaxed and a little drunk, I'm very content with life at that particular moment and decided it that was share time.
Right before I fall asleep, I tell him I'm falling in love with him. And then I did my "sleepy noise" and the next thing I knew it was morning.
So, I think I told him, because well, I just said it was right before I fell asleep. So I may have said it, I may have not. I could have been thinking about it and not said it. I could have been dreaming as well.
I mean, I'm pretty sure I said it. But I also don't know that for sure, or if I was just dreaming in the first place.
But whatever I did or didn't do, I do know he didn't say it back.
So....yeah...
At least I think I did. I don't know if I actually said it see. Huh? What do I mean?
Well, I was really tired first off. Long trip home, up all night writing a (terrible) paper, stressed with school, feeling not ready for this half...you know, normal stress out stuff. Add to the tiredness a bath so I'm really relaxed. Add a glass of wine to that too. A big glass of good wine from Napa. (yes, wine in the tub. We're still in that romantic stage and I like it) So I'm a little drunk too.
So being tired, relaxed and a little drunk, I'm very content with life at that particular moment and decided it that was share time.
Right before I fall asleep, I tell him I'm falling in love with him. And then I did my "sleepy noise" and the next thing I knew it was morning.
So, I think I told him, because well, I just said it was right before I fell asleep. So I may have said it, I may have not. I could have been thinking about it and not said it. I could have been dreaming as well.
I mean, I'm pretty sure I said it. But I also don't know that for sure, or if I was just dreaming in the first place.
But whatever I did or didn't do, I do know he didn't say it back.
So....yeah...
Friday, January 29, 2010
Watch What You Eat
Today as I was walking to the gym, I started to feel funny. I got really warm really fast, (and it was 21 degrees fyi) felt my entire body going flush and my knees were getting watery. I knew exactly what was happening, my blood sugar was starting to drop, and it was dropping fast. This almost never happens to me, only twice in my life (now 3). But because they are such freak occurrences, they stick out in my memory and I could immediately identify what the hell was going on and know what to do.
Fortunately I was very close to the gym and even more fortunately, I knew I had an apple in my backpack (I've given up on the bananas in the backpack- while tasty and fun alliteration, it is also very messy when squished). As soon as I got to the lobby, I fished out my apple and sociology book (I had to do something to not look unhealthy, they wouldn't have let me work out) and remedied the situation. (fruit juices are a great quick fix, a whole piece of fruit can't be that far off of the same benefits). But this sent off a red flag in my mind and I realized, I need to start watching what I eat. Not in a going on a diet sense, I do need to be more aware of what I'm eating in lui of the activities I'll be doing the rest of the day.
I've never been one to (consciously*) diet, and I've always eaten whatever I wanted, when I wanted and never had to worry about those mean diet mantas such as: nothing taste as good as skinny feels, or once on the lips, forever on the hips. I eat meats, carbs, I can't stay away from cheese, and if there's desert I'll take 2. If it's on some forbidden list of some diet, I will probably eat it, not think about it and be on my merry way. I know, I would hate me too if it wasn't so awesome.
But today's blood sugar drop made me realize that I can't be as cavalier about it. Because while I had breakfast before class, a bowl of fruit loops and coffee was apparently not enough to get me to early afternoon. So while I'm not going to start shying away from a twinkie (and the day I do, check me into a mental hospital because I freaking love twinkies), but I know I don't want this to happen again.
*I pretty much stopped eating before I left my fiance. I was on the I'm too depressed to eat diet and lost 10 lbs in addition to 180 lbs of upcoming rock star. If I ever do go on a diet, this isn't the route I want to go.
Fortunately I was very close to the gym and even more fortunately, I knew I had an apple in my backpack (I've given up on the bananas in the backpack- while tasty and fun alliteration, it is also very messy when squished). As soon as I got to the lobby, I fished out my apple and sociology book (I had to do something to not look unhealthy, they wouldn't have let me work out) and remedied the situation. (fruit juices are a great quick fix, a whole piece of fruit can't be that far off of the same benefits). But this sent off a red flag in my mind and I realized, I need to start watching what I eat. Not in a going on a diet sense, I do need to be more aware of what I'm eating in lui of the activities I'll be doing the rest of the day.
I've never been one to (consciously*) diet, and I've always eaten whatever I wanted, when I wanted and never had to worry about those mean diet mantas such as: nothing taste as good as skinny feels, or once on the lips, forever on the hips. I eat meats, carbs, I can't stay away from cheese, and if there's desert I'll take 2. If it's on some forbidden list of some diet, I will probably eat it, not think about it and be on my merry way. I know, I would hate me too if it wasn't so awesome.
But today's blood sugar drop made me realize that I can't be as cavalier about it. Because while I had breakfast before class, a bowl of fruit loops and coffee was apparently not enough to get me to early afternoon. So while I'm not going to start shying away from a twinkie (and the day I do, check me into a mental hospital because I freaking love twinkies), but I know I don't want this to happen again.
*I pretty much stopped eating before I left my fiance. I was on the I'm too depressed to eat diet and lost 10 lbs in addition to 180 lbs of upcoming rock star. If I ever do go on a diet, this isn't the route I want to go.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Circle of a Crush
Default crush doesn't like me back. I can just tell.
Well, this isn't the first time a guy hasn't returned the feelings, and it probably won't be the last time either (cries!). And there have been times I haven't returned the feelings, so it's a two way street.
Yeah, it sucks, a guy I really liked doesn't like me back. But it's life. And maybe getting this guy out of my system will lead me to someplace or thing or one I wouldn't have seen before.
But this whole boy not liking me back thing, well, it just feels a little high school to me. And while I liked high school, I sure as hell don't want to go back.
My crush though, is a guy I went to high school with. Same class too. So irony, you have not been lost on me.
Well, this isn't the first time a guy hasn't returned the feelings, and it probably won't be the last time either (cries!). And there have been times I haven't returned the feelings, so it's a two way street.
Yeah, it sucks, a guy I really liked doesn't like me back. But it's life. And maybe getting this guy out of my system will lead me to someplace or thing or one I wouldn't have seen before.
But this whole boy not liking me back thing, well, it just feels a little high school to me. And while I liked high school, I sure as hell don't want to go back.
My crush though, is a guy I went to high school with. Same class too. So irony, you have not been lost on me.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Status
The other night I texted a friend and they were surprised I was back from my "date" already. So I replied: "I'm fairly new at this f*ck buddies thing, but I'm pretty sure they they don't spend the night." While I'm enjoying it for what it is, I've never done this before. How long do these things typically last? And what happens if someone else asks me out? ::snort:: What if I want to say yes?
I'm an exclusive girl, when I start sleeping with someone, that's it for me. And since LG and I are messing around, see above. So it's sort of like an insta-relationship, but w/out the actual tittle or any girlfriend perks (like default passenger seat, auto Saturday night plans or flowers just because (hint hint future boyfriends/husband)). And what do I tell someone if they ask my relationship status? But then again, who's even asking.
Obviously, f*ck buddies isn't what people expect (and it's an over share. 'Course this isn't stopping me from blabbing now). We're not really dating in the traditional dinner and a movie sense, so that's out. I could say I'm seeing someone, because we are, and I won't do anything date-like with anyone else (once again, no one's asking). To say I'm sleeping with someone sounds so... blunt. And crass. It's not exactly promiscuous (because it is only one person), but well, it's something along those lines.
You're probably wondering why I'm not having this discussion with him. Because I don't want to put on my big girl pants that's why.
I'm an exclusive girl, when I start sleeping with someone, that's it for me. And since LG and I are messing around, see above. So it's sort of like an insta-relationship, but w/out the actual tittle or any girlfriend perks (like default passenger seat, auto Saturday night plans or flowers just because (hint hint future boyfriends/husband)). And what do I tell someone if they ask my relationship status? But then again, who's even asking.
Obviously, f*ck buddies isn't what people expect (and it's an over share. 'Course this isn't stopping me from blabbing now). We're not really dating in the traditional dinner and a movie sense, so that's out. I could say I'm seeing someone, because we are, and I won't do anything date-like with anyone else (once again, no one's asking). To say I'm sleeping with someone sounds so... blunt. And crass. It's not exactly promiscuous (because it is only one person), but well, it's something along those lines.
You're probably wondering why I'm not having this discussion with him. Because I don't want to put on my big girl pants that's why.
Saturday, July 18, 2009
Ask me
I don't want my ex back and I don't care if I ever see him again. But there was a time when I did and would have given anything to make us work. If stars had lined up in a different way, and we were different people in general, well, I might be married right now and probably thinking I had made the biggest mistake of my life (note: not getting married in general, getting married to him).
So I know that where I am is the right place to be, and I can't change the past that brought me here. But that doesn't mean I don't wish it had happened differently.
It's that he didn't even try, the nothings. It's his loss and I know that. Maybe he knew we were a lost cause. Or he knew I probably would have made him cry and plead and jump through 14 flaming hoops over shark infested waters just to talk to me, and turned him away regardless. But it would have been nice to have been asked.
So I know that where I am is the right place to be, and I can't change the past that brought me here. But that doesn't mean I don't wish it had happened differently.
It's that he didn't even try, the nothings. It's his loss and I know that. Maybe he knew we were a lost cause. Or he knew I probably would have made him cry and plead and jump through 14 flaming hoops over shark infested waters just to talk to me, and turned him away regardless. But it would have been nice to have been asked.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
What do you wear to the gym? Part deax
Here's the deal with work out clothes (in general), you need to be able to move in them. They can't be restricting, but at the same time you don't want them to be too loose either. You don't want to get caught up and twisted in them. And I've found that moisture wicking fabrics really do make a performance difference, especially in the heat (they're a freaking god send!). So what you don to work out is important. Just think about all the hoopla that went on about the new speedo at the the Beijing Olympics (I'm an Olympic junkie by the way).
So today I wore running capris and sports bra tank top, both modestly cover a fair amount of skin. And while at the gym I didn't care and felt kinda cute, it was outside the gym I started to feel exposed when I walked to the bus stop.
So here's my question: wear shorts that show lots of skin, or capris that show little skin but every shape? And while I have a nice ass (or so I've been told), doesn't mean I want everyone to be able to look at it.
So today I wore running capris and sports bra tank top, both modestly cover a fair amount of skin. And while at the gym I didn't care and felt kinda cute, it was outside the gym I started to feel exposed when I walked to the bus stop.
So here's my question: wear shorts that show lots of skin, or capris that show little skin but every shape? And while I have a nice ass (or so I've been told), doesn't mean I want everyone to be able to look at it.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Oddly Flattered
A week ago library guy met some of my friends. He received an initial pass (pass/fail) grade from the all-mighty-Priya, but she wants to give him a letter grade soon. I was a little nervous though, not going to lie. But any guy worth his salt needs to be able to fit in with my friends if he's going to be sticking around. He wasn't shy about putting his arm around me nuzzled my neck while we all watched a Disney movie (which I though might scare him off). Hey, it's what we do, we're dorks and proud of it. That's beside the point. I like him a lot and I'm slightly unnerved how attracted he is to me (I'm weird).
Anyway, he meets my friends, and they don't scare him enough to quell his desire to sleep with me. We enjoy some one on one time that night like two people who are attracted to each other do. But shortly after, (when it's way past my bedtime), he asks me to not spend the night.
I'm thinking, umm, I guess it was too soon to meet my friends. He goes on to explain why, he's got a lot of stuff to do the next day, stuff he needs to concentrate on. He needs to rest in order to do so, and apparently I'm impossible to not have sex with. Which, I beg to differ, there are plenty of guys out there who do not want to have sex with me and find it possible to not jump me either. But to him I'm a (curvy) distraction simply by being there, and he wouldn't get any of rest he needs .
And what am I supposed to say? No I need cuddle time so I don't feel like yesterday's tissue? I'm sorry (?) you can't resist me? What? I'm trying to be super confident put together woman, and clingy need cuddle time woman who just wants a guy to like her is definitely not that. What else could I have said other than (um) "sure that's fine" to save face?
The past few times times we've hooked up, it's been a seal the deal and go (to be fair, I went to the last one with no pretences, I was the one taking him to the airport. I even offered to come over early to hook up). I'm flattered (and slightly freaked out) he finds me attractive. I respect that he's working and knows what he needs (or doesn't) to be productive. And he was able to do the things he needed w/out distraction the next day, so mission accomplished. He walked me to my car and said he had a nice time meeting my friends I guess to placate me. But as I drove away that night, I couldn't help but feel used.
Anyway, he meets my friends, and they don't scare him enough to quell his desire to sleep with me. We enjoy some one on one time that night like two people who are attracted to each other do. But shortly after, (when it's way past my bedtime), he asks me to not spend the night.
I'm thinking, umm, I guess it was too soon to meet my friends. He goes on to explain why, he's got a lot of stuff to do the next day, stuff he needs to concentrate on. He needs to rest in order to do so, and apparently I'm impossible to not have sex with. Which, I beg to differ, there are plenty of guys out there who do not want to have sex with me and find it possible to not jump me either. But to him I'm a (curvy) distraction simply by being there, and he wouldn't get any of rest he needs .
And what am I supposed to say? No I need cuddle time so I don't feel like yesterday's tissue? I'm sorry (?) you can't resist me? What? I'm trying to be super confident put together woman, and clingy need cuddle time woman who just wants a guy to like her is definitely not that. What else could I have said other than (um) "sure that's fine" to save face?
The past few times times we've hooked up, it's been a seal the deal and go (to be fair, I went to the last one with no pretences, I was the one taking him to the airport. I even offered to come over early to hook up). I'm flattered (and slightly freaked out) he finds me attractive. I respect that he's working and knows what he needs (or doesn't) to be productive. And he was able to do the things he needed w/out distraction the next day, so mission accomplished. He walked me to my car and said he had a nice time meeting my friends I guess to placate me. But as I drove away that night, I couldn't help but feel used.
Sunday, June 14, 2009
True Blood
True Blood is back!! Yippee!
I admit I didn't really care about reading the Sookie Stackhouse books at first. One friend had the first 6 and then passed them to another in our email circle. And I really had no interest in them, but they had been left at my apartment over the 4th of July and I hadn't been to the library in a few days. So with nothing to loose, I started reading. Then polished off all 6 in week. And then went to the bookstore and bought the next two.
I was super excited when I found out they were making the books into a series. And while the first season stayed fairly close to the book, I don't mind that the creator took a few liberties with some characters, and that the 2nd season is going to diverge from the books. I think part of the appreciation for both is that they are different for one another. kind of like siblings. Cut from the same cloth, but different in their own right.
What is it about vampires that's so sexy? I was never really into them, and I still consider goth people on the verge if not total wanna-be. But now, there's just something so dark and ooooh about them. There's that thrill of I could kill you and I do love to bite. And plus, my only coherent thoughts after watching 10 seconds of this guy is:
Me want the Viking Vampire.
I admit I didn't really care about reading the Sookie Stackhouse books at first. One friend had the first 6 and then passed them to another in our email circle. And I really had no interest in them, but they had been left at my apartment over the 4th of July and I hadn't been to the library in a few days. So with nothing to loose, I started reading. Then polished off all 6 in week. And then went to the bookstore and bought the next two.
I was super excited when I found out they were making the books into a series. And while the first season stayed fairly close to the book, I don't mind that the creator took a few liberties with some characters, and that the 2nd season is going to diverge from the books. I think part of the appreciation for both is that they are different for one another. kind of like siblings. Cut from the same cloth, but different in their own right.
What is it about vampires that's so sexy? I was never really into them, and I still consider goth people on the verge if not total wanna-be. But now, there's just something so dark and ooooh about them. There's that thrill of I could kill you and I do love to bite. And plus, my only coherent thoughts after watching 10 seconds of this guy is:
Me want the Viking Vampire.
Sunday, May 17, 2009
Self Medication
Today at work I know I was crinkling up my nose a lot because I constantly felt like I was going to sneeze. Which is nothing out of the ordinary, I feel that way a lot at work. Because you never know what kind of place the materials are going to. They even go to people with cats. (btw, why does no one believe that I'm allergic? There is a real reason I don't care for cats. I don't like pets that make my eyes water and I have to take a pill to breathe comfortably around) But today my face (especially the inside of my nose) felt itchy too, which is out out of the ordinary. And my hair felt weird and unruly today too, which is just odd in general. I thought I was just tired, which gave me a reason for the clumsy (because who knocks their head on a book shelf? Me.), but that didn't account for the wayward hair or itchy face.
Then it occurred to me, oh yeah, allergy season is upon us (and Kentucky is a hell hole for allergies). I typically keep a couple different types of OTC medication in my purse just in case. What kind of pharmacist/drug dealer would I be if I didn't? I root around in the darkness of my bag an pull out my little pill pack (It's brightly colored so I can find it faster). And along side my generic pain relievers, there's a generic benadryl and two unbranded white tablets in their blister packs. I knew that the benadryl would exhaust me even further that I already was, so I didn't want to take that. That left the two while pills w/no labeling. I flip them over to see if they have a their name on it, but the only words on the back of the pack were a few mgs of loratadine. Which sounded like allergy medication to me. So I shrugged my shoulders and without another thought popped one of them.
My face did stop itching, the nose crinkling stopped some, and my hair feels somewhat normal, so it worked from that stand point. But now I'm even more tired and I have a slight case of cotton mouth. So I'm pretty sure I took an allergy pill, I just have no idea which one.
Then it occurred to me, oh yeah, allergy season is upon us (and Kentucky is a hell hole for allergies). I typically keep a couple different types of OTC medication in my purse just in case. What kind of pharmacist/drug dealer would I be if I didn't? I root around in the darkness of my bag an pull out my little pill pack (It's brightly colored so I can find it faster). And along side my generic pain relievers, there's a generic benadryl and two unbranded white tablets in their blister packs. I knew that the benadryl would exhaust me even further that I already was, so I didn't want to take that. That left the two while pills w/no labeling. I flip them over to see if they have a their name on it, but the only words on the back of the pack were a few mgs of loratadine. Which sounded like allergy medication to me. So I shrugged my shoulders and without another thought popped one of them.
My face did stop itching, the nose crinkling stopped some, and my hair feels somewhat normal, so it worked from that stand point. But now I'm even more tired and I have a slight case of cotton mouth. So I'm pretty sure I took an allergy pill, I just have no idea which one.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Shhh...
As some of you know, I adore Victoria's Secret. I am there the first day of the sale (seriously, I've worked it around my class/work schedule), and I'll spend an average $100 every single time I go, and I'll go several times in a sale season too. I even went when I was between boyfriends, because I enjoy getting pretty/lacy things for myself. But a few months after the engagement, I stopped wearing sexy underpinnings because it seemed that every time I tried to surprise my ex, he got home really late and I was already asleep, or he would bring a really drunk friend home and that person would crash on the couch (which didn't put me in the pounciest of moods). I got so fed up with it, I told him I wasn't going to wear anything of the sort for him (until the honeymoon), and packed away the contents of that drawer. Foolish boy thought I was kidding.
One evening we were home together (how those stars aligned I have no idea) and the commercial for the semi-annual sale comes on the tv. He nudges my hip somewhat excitedly and ask "hey, you going?" And it sounds like a horn dog thing to say, but he knew that I enjoyed going to the sale for myself and that would cheer me up. But I just snorted and said, "no, I'm not wearing that stuff anymore, you never noticed it. ::sigh:: And I don't have the money to go either." My bluntness dumbstruck him, but he didn't mention it again. When my birthday came around a month later though, his mom and sister gave me a gift card to Victoria's Secret. And I found that... well, honestly, kind of creepy. Because I know they asked him what store should they get me a gift card too, so I know he told them how bummed I was about not going to the sale (I hope he left out the I haven't touched her in weeks and it's making her feel rejected part). So it was sweet that he knew where I wanted to shop, but still, underwear from your in-laws... And that they went ahead and got the gift card from there too... Why he didn't say books like he did the last birthday I don't know.
So I have this gift card burning a hole in my wallet, but I haven't been able to bring myself to go into that store in a long time. And this was a store that the sales girls recognized me and convinced me to get the credit card because I was in there "like, all the time." But when I stopped in there around Valentines' Day, I literally ran out less than 2 minutes later because I was super nauseous and on the verge of tears. "How far you have fallen" I thought as I choked back a sob.
But now, I think I can handle it again (having someone tell you you're beautiful helps). So as my last little bit of spite, I'm going to use that gift card and then some this sale time. I'm back Vicki! Did you miss me?
One evening we were home together (how those stars aligned I have no idea) and the commercial for the semi-annual sale comes on the tv. He nudges my hip somewhat excitedly and ask "hey, you going?" And it sounds like a horn dog thing to say, but he knew that I enjoyed going to the sale for myself and that would cheer me up. But I just snorted and said, "no, I'm not wearing that stuff anymore, you never noticed it. ::sigh:: And I don't have the money to go either." My bluntness dumbstruck him, but he didn't mention it again. When my birthday came around a month later though, his mom and sister gave me a gift card to Victoria's Secret. And I found that... well, honestly, kind of creepy. Because I know they asked him what store should they get me a gift card too, so I know he told them how bummed I was about not going to the sale (I hope he left out the I haven't touched her in weeks and it's making her feel rejected part). So it was sweet that he knew where I wanted to shop, but still, underwear from your in-laws... And that they went ahead and got the gift card from there too... Why he didn't say books like he did the last birthday I don't know.
So I have this gift card burning a hole in my wallet, but I haven't been able to bring myself to go into that store in a long time. And this was a store that the sales girls recognized me and convinced me to get the credit card because I was in there "like, all the time." But when I stopped in there around Valentines' Day, I literally ran out less than 2 minutes later because I was super nauseous and on the verge of tears. "How far you have fallen" I thought as I choked back a sob.
But now, I think I can handle it again (having someone tell you you're beautiful helps). So as my last little bit of spite, I'm going to use that gift card and then some this sale time. I'm back Vicki! Did you miss me?
Tuesday, February 10, 2009
I wonder
I wonder if he misses me. I wonder if he even thinks about me honestly. I wonder if he misses Bailey. And I wonder, what if I was still waiting on him to decide on me?
But in the midst of all the wondering, there are some things I miss. I miss the companionship (when he paid me any attention that is). I miss being caught red handed watching terrible tv (happened more then I would like to admit). I miss his sigh of content when I ran my fingers through his hair. I miss his ability to interpreting my random noise. I miss the random I love you's whispered in my ear and the kiss that followed. I miss the nights we did homework together, and later when we were out of school, the nights he played xbox while I read on the couch beside him. I even miss arguing who's turn it was to take the dog out while she looked expectantly at us (now it's always my turn). But there are a lot of things I don't miss though.
It's hard not to think about him now that I have the dog. But she's my dog, not ours anymore. And the memories aren't as painful as they once were. They are more along the lines of something you know was there, even if it wasn't remarkable. Sort of remembering what you had for lunch the other day. I wish he was capable of being the man I wanted and deserved, but that's just not who is is.
I don't wish every day like I use to. And I've gone weeks without crying now (yay!). I feel like I really am better (I'm getting help too). All the things I miss are perfectly capable of happening again, with a better guy. But I think part of me will wonder, "what if..." for a long time.
But in the midst of all the wondering, there are some things I miss. I miss the companionship (when he paid me any attention that is). I miss being caught red handed watching terrible tv (happened more then I would like to admit). I miss his sigh of content when I ran my fingers through his hair. I miss his ability to interpreting my random noise. I miss the random I love you's whispered in my ear and the kiss that followed. I miss the nights we did homework together, and later when we were out of school, the nights he played xbox while I read on the couch beside him. I even miss arguing who's turn it was to take the dog out while she looked expectantly at us (now it's always my turn). But there are a lot of things I don't miss though.
It's hard not to think about him now that I have the dog. But she's my dog, not ours anymore. And the memories aren't as painful as they once were. They are more along the lines of something you know was there, even if it wasn't remarkable. Sort of remembering what you had for lunch the other day. I wish he was capable of being the man I wanted and deserved, but that's just not who is is.
I don't wish every day like I use to. And I've gone weeks without crying now (yay!). I feel like I really am better (I'm getting help too). All the things I miss are perfectly capable of happening again, with a better guy. But I think part of me will wonder, "what if..." for a long time.
Friday, January 9, 2009
Word Play
Have you notice that if you double a word, it alters the meaning or creates emphasis? For example:
like=enjoy something vs like-like=totally have a crush on
job=something you do while in school vs job-job=what you went to school for
home=where you currently live vs home-home=where you grew up
baby=someone under 2 vs baby-baby=fresh new one
cute=squee!, like babies and puppies vs cute-cute=in reference to a boy you like-like
Of all the 171,476 words in the Oxford English Dictionary, and I (we?) double words becasue I don't want to think of a synonym. Methinks someone needs a thesaurus.
like=enjoy something vs like-like=totally have a crush on
job=something you do while in school vs job-job=what you went to school for
home=where you currently live vs home-home=where you grew up
baby=someone under 2 vs baby-baby=fresh new one
cute=squee!, like babies and puppies vs cute-cute=in reference to a boy you like-like
Of all the 171,476 words in the Oxford English Dictionary, and I (we?) double words becasue I don't want to think of a synonym. Methinks someone needs a thesaurus.
Wednesday, December 24, 2008
Shiney
My sister pointed something out to me: in my 10 years of dating, of my 6 serious boyfriends, 5 of them have given me jewelry
- 1st boyfriend: a heart necklace for valentines day. We broke up a week later. Right, I'm a bitch. Is being 16 a good defense?
- 2nd boyfriend: a bracelet on my 17th birthday, and earrings for our 6 month-versary. I lost the bracelet when it fell out of my band bag (while we were dating), and one of the earrings at some point. I don't think I ever told him that...oops
- 3rd boy: a ring for valentines day. He put it on my right hand, and later remarked "oh it's on the wrong hand." And I said "no, nothing goes on that hand unless it's a diamond" We had talked about marriage, then I remembered, we were 18.
- 4th boyfriend: Nothing shiny. Boo.
- 5th boyfriend: necklace from Tiffany's. Because I (drunkenly) said "I want just one thing from that store and I'll be happy for the rest of my life" And he drunkenly remembered. Plus it was Christmas, how was I to know he would take my suggestion to heart?
- 6th boyfriend/the ex: 2 necklaces and earrings as anniversary/birthday/graduation presents, and the all important engagement ring.
Monday, December 22, 2008
Poking Myself in the Eye
Guys don't make passes at girls who wear glasses. Sh*t, does that mean I have to start wearing my contacts again?
I have crappy vision, crappy enough that I must wear some sort of corrective lens to function in everyday life. I once lost both my contacts at work and I had to get boyfriend to drive me home since I seriously couldn't see 12" in front of me (we were working together that night, fortuitous timing). Lesson learned, there is now a spare pair of glasses in my car for instances like that.
And becasue I have gotten lazy the past few years, I pretty much wear my contacts only when I'm (a) interviewing for jobs, (b) going out for a night on the town or (c) running. And none of these things are happening at the moment. Mornings before work I'm not coherent enough to know my name, so the business with the contacts is a fail plan. Plus those suckers start to burn and/or itch like hell after a while. So I wear my glasses all the time now. And I have really cute frames too; black plastic frames w/zebra print arms. Squee! Though I will totally admit I was going for the naughty librarian look when I picked them out. Maybe cute isn't the correct term... But if that old adage is true, does that mean I have to start poking myself in the eye again to get a new boyfriend? Boo.
I have crappy vision, crappy enough that I must wear some sort of corrective lens to function in everyday life. I once lost both my contacts at work and I had to get boyfriend to drive me home since I seriously couldn't see 12" in front of me (we were working together that night, fortuitous timing). Lesson learned, there is now a spare pair of glasses in my car for instances like that.
And becasue I have gotten lazy the past few years, I pretty much wear my contacts only when I'm (a) interviewing for jobs, (b) going out for a night on the town or (c) running. And none of these things are happening at the moment. Mornings before work I'm not coherent enough to know my name, so the business with the contacts is a fail plan. Plus those suckers start to burn and/or itch like hell after a while. So I wear my glasses all the time now. And I have really cute frames too; black plastic frames w/zebra print arms. Squee! Though I will totally admit I was going for the naughty librarian look when I picked them out. Maybe cute isn't the correct term... But if that old adage is true, does that mean I have to start poking myself in the eye again to get a new boyfriend? Boo.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)