Lady Math

So something like 200 buses applied for parking permits for the inauguration and 1200 applied for the for the women's march the day after. That's  three times as many people protesting the patriarchy.
Heh.
But where the hell were those numbers on election day?!?!

Now there's probably a pretty good chance those of us angry enough to get involved to march in DC and across the country were probably involved enough to vote. (Like me, I'm angry, I'm marching, and I sure as hell voted) why didn't those same mass numbers elect HRC?

I bet this has something to do with lady math. Maybe all the angry marching numbers were concentrated in the angry liberal small states that have small electoral college numbers. Oh, oh I know! I bet all us angry marchers are women so our lady votes only counted as 3/4!  

Lady Math sucks.

Distraction

We currently have our 2 dogs and we don't want a 3rd dog. Seriously, no third dog. However, we do plan on getting another one after Bailey and Jules have left us. And Mike wants that future dog to be a puppy.

I do not want a puppy. Not now, not ever again after the wringer that is Bailey and I am adamant about that.
But! I do want a baby. And since everyone but me is having one (seriously), my baby fever has gone through the roof.  My husband is trying to tamp it down but he's pretty much failing miserably.

However, I have become somewhat addicted to pintrest (which I really should stop because some of that shit is bananas), and post bubble of tulle I have been looking at the animals page. And whenever I see a puppy picture too cute for words (so, you know, all of them), I squeal: "I want it! I want it! Let's get this one now!" Knowing full well that we are not going to get a puppy. Not ever, but especially not now.

Mike's reaction is always an emphatic: "NO."
So my reaction is always to fain disappointment with a sad: -sigh- Fine. But then I cheer up with a bright: "Oh! Let's have a baby then!"

I may be trying distract my husband from getting a puppy by convincing him to have a baby.
So far my plan is failing.

Grown Up Gifts

Today is my husband's 33rd birthday. So clearly, this is what I got him:

the sign says: ROAR! That's: Happy Birthday! in dinospeak

An inflatable T-Rex. Obviously.

And these are the cupcakes I sent him work with to share with his coworkers.

It was either sports or princess cupcake liners.
You can see why I chose the way I did.

He wouldn't let me decorate them with the little "score!" flags. Something about those not being professional?

Just wait and see what I have planned for 40!
Happy Birthday Honey!

Dancing on Your Grave

me: I have the new Carrie Underwood song two black Cadillac stuck in my head.
mike: Ok.
me: I'm sure you've never heard it. But it's an old fashioned country song that tells a story. Anyway, the two black Cadillacs are at a funeral, one's for the wife and the other for the mistress. "Preacher said he was good man, brother said he was a good friend, but the women in the two black veils didn't bother to cry."  Turns out the women knew about each other and killed the dude for doing them wrong all those years. They both lay a rose on his grave.
mike: Ok.
me: You know though, it takes some serious balls to show up at your lover's funeral when you are the mistress. Not only to show up, but to get a Cadillac as if you were family.
mike: I'll say. You can go to the funeral, but you hide in the back.
me: Exactly. If your mistress shows up at your funeral demanding a Cadillac, I'm throwing her in the grave with you.
mike: Fair enough. If she had the balls to do that she might not exactly have lady parts though.
me: True. And if that's the case then, the joke's on you and I think I'd let her live and just dance on your grave.

Point of Clarification

Over Christmas dr soc and I were able to visit both sets of our parents, and my brother-in-law, his wife and our niece were able to make it to my in-laws the same time we were there for a visit. So some extended family were also over to visit and to meet the baby for the first time. I travel in yoga pants because they are comfortable and those are the only pants the baby has seen me in, but the last time the extended family saw me I was in a wedding gown.  When I realized this, I figured I better put on something a little less lounge around the house and a little more company's coming over.

me: Oh, people are coming over soon. I better put on some real pants.

--I change into an older (but still comfortable) pair of jeans. They just happen to have holes in both knees. I come downstairs in my new (old) pants. This was my mother-in-law's reaction upon seeing my jeans:

mil: I see you put on your nice jeans for us. 
me: Nope, I said I was going to put on real pants, not nice pants.

Crown Jewel

--while watching a commercial for jewelry ('tis the season!)--
mike: would you rather me replace an appliance that's broken or get you a $600 necklace?
--pause--
me: What's the appliance? Do we need it?