Hypocrisy

How dare the government look at white peoples 2nd amendment right? But only for the white mostly male right holders. And even when a particularly hateful one of their own is a victim… if anyone points out you reap what you sow (aka fuck around and find out) that speaker is the asshole. 

And then that asshole will be canceled by the exact same people who are against cancel culture when it hurts any assholes in power. 

Not all white people bla bla bla, whatever. A blanket statement doesn’t apply to your special snowflake status. But they aren’t snowflakes themselves, no no no. That depravity is the snowflake. That snowflake is not special but also SO special. That not special special snowflake is not included in the blanket not all category with the other snowflakes who aren’t snowflakes.

Terrifying yes? 

The united states of misogyny

We don't need to beat this to death. I don't need CNN, Fox Faux news, NPR or anyone else to mansplain to me why, once again, a petulant convicted felon rapist spewing vitriol, beat the vastly overqualified and educated, this time Black/Asian, female candidate. AGAIN.  

We live in a systemically racist patriarchy. America has always oppressed non-white cis-males. Women, and above all a woman of color have always been expendable. THAT is why. Yes, the economy was a factor, but just like 'not all men' are rapist, jackasses, douche canoes etc, the economy was a portion of the problem, not the overall problem.      

Look, I know Madame President Kamala Harris couldn't have fixed everything for everyone. Big issues take BIG time, but she would have started fixing things. Because women, back women especially, get shit done because they have to. Meanwhile, the orange conman flings shit because no one will tell him no.

So, yeah, I'm scared. I'm angry. And I don't want to be kind to the asshats who voted for him. Once again, any "others" have to justify their existence in a country that has never seen them as equal. When he does exactly what he says he will do, no mater how outlandish, cruel, nonsensical it was, don't be surprised. I swear to god if you clutch your pearls I may choke you with them.   

Fact Check

Apparently, facebook flagged this:

 as false and decided to shame me by labeling it so. This. A post a few people liked about a custom of women...wearing (1920s) bathing suits...eating pizza to annoy men. I mean I may not don a bathing suit* but eating pizza and as a bonus annoying men? YES. YES PLEASE. But this, this isn't factual? How disappointing. And also, I'm calling bullshit.

*restrictive clothing, duh, no thank you. Also how am I going to control men to not rape in a bathing suit? 

It's not like, a post on the popular custom of, say, racism. 
Or a post on a nonexistent pedophilia ring in a basement (also nonexistent) of a pizza parlor and a white male shot a gun into said pizza parlor. 

Or that the 2020 election was rigged. 

Or something from f*x news that always tells, informs yells, screams the truth vitriol, lies, misogyny, lies, animated, hateful rhetoric, lies, opinions of the fragile white privileged males people. Nothing that harmed or killed people.

No. A post about women eating pizza to annoy men must be fact checked and deemed as false. Because that is the real danger here.

But I suppose if these giant companies are now going to make a valiant effort hold everyone* accountable for their posts they have to start somewhere. 

*Except males, especially the old white powerful *ones. Males will never be accountable for anything.

*Especially them.  

Shame shame on me for not fact checking something that supports my ever growing desire to fuck the patriarchy.

White privilege

So. Yesterday.

• White people took selfies while they terrorized the capital to keep the incompetent authoritarian regime in place. 
• Black Lives Mater supporters were told to leave their phones at home so info could not be used to be arrested later while they asked for people of color to not be killed for being black.
• An orange con man used his global platform to incite violence and encourage a riot.
• A black football player used his platform to direct attention to systemic injustices and was fired.

In general white people can:  

• go jogging (#AmaudArbery).
• relax in the comfort of my own home (#BothemSean and #AtatianaJefferson).
• ask for help after being in a car crash (#JonathanFerrell and #RenishaMcBride).
• have a cellphone (#StephonClark).
• leave a party to get to safety (#JordanEdwards).
• play loud music (#JordanDavis).
• sell CD's (#AltonSterling).
• sleep (#AiyanaJones)
• walk from the corner store (#MikeBrown).
• play cops and robbers (#TamirRice).
• go to church (#Charleston9).
• walk home with Skittles (#TrayvonMartin).
• hold a hair brush while leaving my own bachelor party (#SeanBell).
• party on New Years (#OscarGrant).
• get a normal traffic ticket (#SandraBland).
• lawfully carry a weapon (#PhilandoCastile).
• break down on a public road with car problems (#CoreyJones).
• shop at Walmart (#JohnCrawford) .
• have a disabled vehicle (#TerrenceCrutcher).
• read a book in my own car (#KeithScott).
• be a 10yr old walking with our grandfather (#CliffordGlover).
• decorate for a party (#ClaudeReese).
• ask a cop a question (#RandyEvans).
• cash a check in peace (#YvonneSmallwood).
• take out my wallet (#AmadouDiallo).
• run (#WalterScott).
• breathe (#EricGarner).
• live (#FreddieGray).
• ask someone to put a required leash on their dog in the public park we are in (#ChristianCooper).
• BE ARRESTED WITHOUT THE FEAR OF BEING MURDERED. (#GeorgeFloyd)

White people don't become hashtags. And if you refuse to see the issue with this... Look, I'm not calling you a racist. But after yesterday's failed coup d'état and you still won't admit to your own white privilege and accept and/or support ingrained racist policies that villainize a black person's existence... Well, your racism is showing. 

Talk Bubbles

To the surprise of no one, my girls are talkers. Ironically when they were born they both were so quiet the medical staff was concerned, even though they were perfectly healthy. Yeah, it was odd...

But after that, as soon as they figured out they could vocalize in some way they did. Girl 1 makes articulate affirmations (e.g. mischief, actually, memorized all said clear as a bell and used correctly) and Girl 2 has entire conversations and spouts platitudes in babble. 

And they are both savage AF. 

4.5: Mommy have you shrunk yet?

me: umm, no. I'm not that old* just yet.

4.5: Has daddy? Because he's kind old.*

*Chinese ladies are ageless forever and -poof- look 120 and start shrinking. True fact.

*He turned 40 in February and hehehehe. 

And also:

-sees pregnant mannequin at the store and says very loudly-

4.5: Mommy! That belly is really big - like yours!

me: no honey, there's supposed to be a baby i-

4.5: just like yours!  

SAVAGE.

As for girl 2, I don't know what my 2 year old was actually trying to say, but that had to be the cutest little "bitch bitch bitch" I've ever heard!

 

Pause

Last month my mom went to Paris. Oo La La! Before she left:

Her response: 😆

Because if there was anyone who would end up in a French prison, it would be my mom.

Anyway. She goes to France. She texts her daily adventure pictures at 3 am (which is the most she has kept in contact with me since I lived with my parents in Kentucky) to my sister and I. One of them was this exchange:

I find it hysterical that my sister and I both pause at the possibility of mom winding up in jail.  

Gold Stars

It's official, Girl 2 is allergic to peanuts.

Two weeks ago I gave her a dab of peanut butter* and she quickly broke out in red splotchy hives around her mouth and eye where she touched. We gave her benadryl which cleared it up pretty quick - thank god- (and then took a solid 2 hour nap -also thank god), and the pediatrician referred us to an allergy center for testing.

*I had shown Girl 1 peanut butter jelly time for some reason earlier so pb&j for lunch was sorta a given.

Yesterday was our allergist appointment and she was diagnosed with a peanut allergy (but not tree nuts, so that's a sliver lining). However, to even make it to the appointment, I had to rearrange my work schedule and take sick time. Dr soc was able to make it for most of the appointment but had to leave to go teach his classes while we were waiting to talk allergy action plan. Afterwards she was really clingy (can't say I blame her with her back getting all pricked up) and I couldn't put her down/stop comfort nursing, but I still had to get to work eventually.

So dr soc and I arranged for me to drop her off in his class on my way in. Not ideal, but special circumstances, for a short amount of time, it would be okay. And let's be honest, he's a white male so nothing can really harm him.

As far as we know he hasn't gone viral for being a parent, but the patriarchy is alive and well (thriving even!) so we figure at the very least society gave him another gold star or two for yesterday.

Word Fun (but not really)

One of the two mass shooters* in the past 24 hours had the gall to post online their own racist manifesto before his killing spree. As if his diatribe is important. As if he is important.***

***Nope, not even. Fragile f*cking insignificance is more like it.

You know who else had a manifesto? Hitler. And there was a whole world war declaring that nazis are bad and they lost. The WHOLE WORLD.

So I am breaking down the word manifesto. Ahem. man - i - fest - o

• man: young white male
• i: self-important = hubris
• fest: fester
• o: cutesy sanitizing ending

So in conclusion - a "manifesto" is: a white young male's festering hubris. 

Choke on that.

* I. AM. FURIOUS.**
**for so many reasons

1. that this is another mass shooting and it won't be the last.
2. the inaction of thoughts and prayers.
3. the senate doing nothing. 
4. fragile masculinity and the patriarchy continuing to get away with actual murder. 
5. the NRA's propaganda. 
6. fill-in-another-abhorrent-reason here. 

Arms Reason

What the ever loving fuck?
https://www.cnn.com/2018/02/21/health/florida-legislature-porn-dangerous-but-not-weapons/index.html
Assault riffles are military weapons whose soul purpose is to cause maximum harm and kill. KILL. Bullets fired from these weapons are designed to kill and they mutilate and destroy everything in their proximity. So why the ever loving fuck are these not dangerous according to lawmakers?

Why does anyone need an assault riffle? Honest to god, someone tell me a reason other than it's the 2nd amendment of in the constitution. A lot of things have changed in the past few hundred years since those amendments were created by a rich white male slave owners. And there was an amendment that didn't work either. Remember that whole alcohol was illegal thing? That was the 18th amendment of the Constitution. There were 2 more amendments added (#19: women get to vote! #20: the presidential term starts January 20 at noon) before #21 when white lawmakers said take backsies! on #18 because society was pretty much just a big 'ol mess. So it is possible to make and repeal amendments that reflect the times. Like #13 - lets make this slavery/owning people thing illegal. Or #22 - no one can be elected president more than twice so the same person doesn't stay in power indefinitely (looking at you FDR).

Once again, please give me a reason your right to own an assault riffle usurps the safety of the general public. Why must humanity suffer again and again from the fragility of masculine insecurity? (yes I know there are women who love guns and shooting too, but these mass murderers have been mostly white males) Even if you don't kill people with your assault riffle, does having that tool to kill innocents make you feel better? Does the ability to destroy countless others' sense of safety secure your own? Do you sleep better knowing your right to own a weapon will never replace all of the other lives destroyed by gun violence?

Give me a reason. Give the world a reason. We are owed a fucking reason.

Love and Hate

The other day baby girl climbed on top of a laundry basket, theatrically threw her head back and sighed "oh goodness!" Her dramatics were so over the top dr soc and I burst out laughing.
So she did it again. And again. And again, all with a huge smile on her face because we laughed each time.
And she knows how to kiss now too! If we ask for a kiss (and she says yes- no means no!) she'll run over and place her puckered little mouth on our cheek and we squeal with delight because it's one of the sweetest actions and our hearts melt.
She does this because it makes mommy and daddy happy, because she loves us. Love, something we didn't teach her. It didn't have to be taught either, we love her and she knows it so she naturally loves us back. So love, is natural.
My 21 month old loves without ever learning it was something to do. She just does.
So you what's not natural? Hate. Racism. Those are taught.
And I will be damned if I let her learn that.

Color Privilege

My daughter was handing me crayons and I was naming the colors for her along with my own little adages for context. For example:
Pink: this is mommy's favorite color.
Green: you're sitting on your green chair.
White: the color of privilege

Yup.
Because white people, white men, rich white men in particular, can be some stupid ass fools and do whatever they want (especially racist, sexist and ignorant what they want) and the rest of get to suffer the consequences. Because you know the white men aren't going to.

Yes, I know. Not all white people. Not all men. But lets review a few recent instances when white male privilege was totally a thing:

• Brock Turner (one of the whitest names I've ever heard btw) rapes an unconscious woman. Judge worries about the harm jail will have on him and not the victim of the crime he did. 
• Timothy McVeigh, Dylan Roof, and James Holmes are American terrorists, but lets talk about the mental help they should have received and not the victims they killed.
• The asshole in chief takes a "break" from his 18 day vacation from his own golf club to do part of the job he holds that he will never be qualified for. And he's going to start a nuclear war with N. Korea safe in his tacky gold leaf bunker while the rest of us grow radiation tails as we die a slow painful death in nuclear winter. 

But please, tell me again how white privilege isn't a thing.

Not Surprised

I'm not surprised at the tragedy of Charlottesville. 

Angry about it? Yes. 

Disgusted with all things white supremacists? Absolutely. 

Frustratingly sad and overall appalled? You better believe it. 

But surprised? No. 

This powder keg has been on a slow burn since king deplorable announced his candidacy. And I don't think Charlottesville is going to change a thing. There's going to be another rally. There's going to be more injuries. There will probably be more deaths. The orange asshole will condone by refusing to condemn. There will be public outrage. There will definitely be twitter shaming. But change? Probably not. 

That's fucking terrifying 

Bills, Bills, Bills

While the asshole president is throwing his ritual twitter tantrums, the Senate and/or House is quietly passing their deathbed healthcare bill. I'm sure they're all hoping while the president sulks we won't notice the damage they are eliciting. I will say I am so confused. I just don't get the whens, whats, whys, whos and hows the government and bills should do.

Because church and state are separate entities, and corporations need to be left alone to regulate themselves. Fortune 500 companies may rightfully impose the CEO's personal religions beliefs on their employees. Denying abusers access to firearms is unconstitutional, but denying healthcare (or help to the victims of those firearms) is totally kosher. Speaking of Judaism, it's okay to practice whatever religion as long as it's not Islam, or you're brown, and you don't take the jobs white American is too good for. A poppy seed sized embryo is a person with all of it's rights and those rights take precedence over and at the expense of the female host, but only while being hosted. Females in general should not make health decisions about their own life/bodies but are held fully responsible when they were recklessly female and assaulted.

And then there's the enabling the poor people with entitlements. Don't feed the poor kids at school or have a safe place to go after school. Their parents need to work harder, get a job with a living wage and move to a better part of town. But don't mandate a living wage for heavens sake! Where would that money come from? Those rich tax breaks don't go very far.

Seriously, I don't get it. Can I get this mansplained?

All American Palate

My mom visited last weekend and we commiserated over the election and talked each up to and then somewhat down from the ledge. But having my mom in town also means we go out to eat a lot (the cooking/menu planning/hostess with the mostest game has been pretty weak with the time suck that is parenting) and she has an adventurous palate so we try new places.

Anyway, I wanted to try the Asian grocery store close by because I heard they had authentic dim sum. I've helped my mom make a few things on occasion, but those delicious finger foods are deceptively "simple." Because those suckers take time a ton of time, energy and spices I don't have in my pantry. So we go and right off the bat we see a ton of Asians eating there which is always a good sign the food is authentic/good. And this place is loud and crowded and everyone who looks like my mom is yelling over each other in Chinese.

But here's another thing about my mom, she's ABC- American Born Chinese. And she knows some Cantonese, but no Mandarin. So we had no idea what we were ordering. Or eating. So it was...interesting.  

You know it's authentic when you see the locals eating there. But you know you're American when your mom doesn't know what you're eating.  

Culture Class

A coworker and I were discussing a sushi restaurant in town. She loves it, but I have issues with it.

me: that place is too loud. You have to yell to have any sort of conversation there.
m: yeah, but at least the sushi is so good and cheap.
me: not enough for me for that noise level.
m: everyone's yelling there, patrons to patrons, staff to staff, it's fun. Don't you love getting yelled at in another language?
me: Yeah, no. Here's where we differ. Because whenever I get yelled at in Chinese that means I'm in trouble.

Half Tiger

I just finished the Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother by Amy Chua:

After all the press about this book a 2 years ago, when it came through my library I figured what the hell I'll read it. At the very least it could be an interesting read.   

I was absolutely fascinated. But not in an OMG-this-is-the-way-to-do-things way. More in an... OMFG this woman is insane. I just didn't understand the mindset and culture of the tiger mom and Chinese-style parenting. I thought maybe being half-Chinese I may have some frame of reference, but nope. Before reading this I also thought being half-Chinese, maybe I would go half tiger-mom on my kids when the time comes for me to parent. But the more I read, I realized, there is no half-ing anything when it comes to tiger mom-ing. 

Oh well. so much for that plan.   

Carb it up

My fiance apparently wants to make his already trim physique into a rock hard figure. (sweetie, if you get to the point where you can't lift your arms up all the way not I will not only laugh at you, I will continuously ask you to lift your arms up for my own amusement.  But if you do get an ass I can bounce quarters off of don't be surprised if I start throwing change at your ass.)  So his trainer has him on this new work out plan, but he also needs to change his diet a little bit in order to see results.

In other words, he should be cutting his carbs.

This is absolute blasphemy to me.  Especially now that I'm getting back into running, and I need carbs for energy.  I most certainly will not be making hamburgers without the buns or put my pasta recipe book away.  No way in hell would I ever do that.  And even though I don't know how to make rice in my mom's rice cooker and completely failed at being an asian there, I'm starchly (hehehe) refusing to cut rice out of our diet either.
    
Now, in fairness, he doesn't have to cut them out entirely.  He really just needs to cut the excess carbs out, and replace those with less processed options.  Like having a yogurt instead of toast with his cereal in the morning, or fruit salad in place of his late night cereal snack (that's one way to keep chocolate Cheerios in my house, have Mike stop eating them twice a day), or have whole grain pasta for dinner or brown instead of white rice.  That, ok, I can do that for him.

But really, he doesn't want to do this either.  And this is how I know.  
--Late night snack time-- 
fiance: What do I want to eat?
me: You want to eat carbs, you just won't.
fiance (sadly):  Yeah.  Maybe just a little bit of cereal won't hurt..?
me: I don't think a Sarah-sized bowl will hurt.  Or you can have fruit salad.
fiance: (sadly) Yeah....

Go Team!

dr soc: Who are we meeting up with?
me: Um, Priya and John, Shyam, Kartik, his brother... I don't know exactly. Most of the brown team.
dr soc: What? The brown team? Why do you say that?
me: Because most of them are Indian. Brown team.
dr soc: You...you... you can't say that!
me: What? They call themselves that!
dr soc: Yeah, themselves.
me: Hey, I'm part asian. I'm part of the group, I can say these things!
dr soc: You're the worst sociologist ever.
me (muttering): Or the best....

Mommy Dearest

I was talking w/my mom on the phone after my interview and I was telling her about the MIA printer cords. She completely understood the horror story daap flashbacks, but then I think went into mom mode and tried to fix the problem*.

mom: Well what kind of printer is it? What kind of cords do you need?
me: It's an hp something or other. I don't know the model number off hand. Mike has an hp as well but not the same model because we already tried to swap cords and his wouldn't fit my printer.
mom: Hmm. Ok, we'll I'll just bring all the cords we have here when we visit in a few weeks and maybe one of those it the right cord.
me: Mom! No, I can get a printer cord here, it's fine. And besides, why would we have spare hp cables laying around the house? (my dad used to work for Lexmark, and hp is a competitor. Talk about printing with the enemy.)
mom: Good point. Ok, yeah, you can fix this printer thing on your own.

--The conversation continues about something else and eventually turns back to the when they visit--

mom: We don't need to get a hotel do we?
me: No! I have a 5 bedroom house (yep), you even have your choice of room color, green or orange. And they both have a bathroom close. Why would you think that?
mom: I don't know. Anyway that's good.

--yadda yadda yadda--

mom: I'll also bring all yours and Amy's gel packets that are here.
me: I have those too. We have running stores here too. I went and got my supply for this spring.
mom: Ok well I'll bring them anyway.
me: Mom...do you think I live in the middle of nowhere? It's not impossible for me to get stuff.
mom: No, I don't think that... It's just....
me: It's ok mom. Bring the gels, I'll eventually use them and I know you don't, and they keep a while. This way you can stop hauling them around with you every time one of us runs a race.
mom: Oh good. I'm tired of doing that.
me: Ok, good. Amy and I can both get things where we live. Now you just have to stop buying them, ok?
mom: Yeah, I'm tired of that too.
me: see, problem solved.

* I love my mom and I think we have a pretty good respectful relationship as far as mother/daughters go. But you have to admit she's a little nuts! I blame the asian.**
** dr soc hates it when I pull the race card, especially if I refer my mom as a "crazy asian," Something about his social equality phd. I also think he fears/wonders if I'm going to go nuts like my mom. Let's face it the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree. Yet he's more than ok with our kids claiming asian/mixed on a scan-tron, especially if that means they get scholarship money. And besides, I think marrying a half asian (slightly crazy or not) gives him more street cred as a sociologist. So there!

There's a Reason You Failed 7th Grade

This was a conversation I had with a tween at work once.

tween: I hate chinese people
me: I'm half chinese.
tween: oh.
me: Hows that foot taste?
tw: I don't eat feet! Well, I don't hate all chineese people. Just this one chinese girl in my class. ::pause:: She failed me.
me: Wait, so you don't like your teacher?
tw: Yeah. She said I didn't have the accent.
me: For what class?
tw: Chinese.
me: That's because the entire language is the inflection. An accent can one word make 3 completely different words. You have to get the accent to speak the language.
tw: Yeah, well, she didn't have to fail me...
me: did you even try?
tw: uuuuh
me: So, you hate all Chinese people because your chinese teacher who teaches her language failed you for not doing your work?
tw: umm, yeah?
me: Ai-ya!