Group Costume

Since Girl 1 could partake in trick-or-treating (i.e. walk on her own because I am not carrying her throughout the neighborhood*) we have themed the Halloween costumes. So the kids don't know anything else and dr soc and I will never tell them otherwise. 

*I did not apply the same logic in 2018 and carried 3 month old Girl 2 like a fool but almost 3 year old Girl 1 still walked when we were My Little Pony

This year we were Mario World:

Rosalina, *Power-up, Peach and Luigi
*people asked if they could punch dr soc a lot and he said yes if he could punch them back

One of my favorite Halloween *group costume stories of all time is from my early 20's and I wasn't even a part of the costume.

*favorite group costume in my early 20's was the sins. Yours truly strutted around the party in lingerie* as lust and totally got the boy I wanted.

*once again: early 20's     

Anyway, favorite story: I was getting drinks with some friends who had gotten married in September (I had been a bridesmaid btw). 

Newlywed girl (dreamy sappy voice of smug newlywed): It's our first married Halloween! We have to do something together! 

Newlywed boy (enthusiastically): Let's go as a horse!

Me and everyone else: (laughs)

Newlywed girl: (purses lips, glares at all of us)

They aren't married to each other anymore 🤷

Artist

Girl 2 is my little artist. As soon as she could grip a writing utensil she has loved to draw and no surface is safe from her scribbles. (No lie, that's why the permeant markers are out of reach)   

But drawing isn't her only medium. She dabbles in other art forms such as photography and created this riveting series aptly titled:

 Mommy's Stolen Phone of 2022:    

 

  

Which of course I posted to facebook because that's what modern parenting is. 

However, as prolific as girl 2's art is, there were a few images that did not make the social media post. Mostly along the lines of the images being

Repetitive

 

Questionable or didn't contribute to the series

 

or: unflattering

So she may be the artist, but I'm still the curator.

Bones

Back in May, Girl 1 fell off her scooter on afternoon (wearing a helmet - a nonnegotiable) and cried and cried and cried right after it happened. We put some ice on it, propped her wrist and hand on a pillow, but she could move it and it wasn't swollen. So dr soc and I thought she was just being extra with all her 'life is over' and she 'was never going to have any fun again,' over and over that I rolled my eyes and told my sister it was a bit much. 

But because she really was going on and on about the pain, I told her if it still hurt that bad after dinner we would go to urgent care. When I asked if she still wanted to go, she nodded her head. Considering how much she fights me on most health things this should have tipped me off that something was wrong, but we still didn't think it was broken. We get to urgent care, tell them what happened, and the PA does some looking and feeling around, and says we need an X-ray. And then I look at her wrists and when you compare them yeah you can see one was swollen. Shit.

We get the X-ray and go back to the exam room to wait. I hear someone say 'it's broken' out in the hall, and I made an educated guess they were referring to us due to the fact there we were one of the only two patients there and the only one who just got an X-ray. And yup, a few minutes later they come in and tell us "it's broken' just like I heard in the hall. 

My girl broke down in tears along with my heart. She started to apologize which we quickly told her she had nothing to apologize for, it was an accident and it was not her fault in any way. I text dr soc with the results and we both feel like such assholes for thinking she was being a drama queen. Urgent care wraps her wrist in a temporary cast and we come home both emotionally worn down. 

We give her a little treat and some Tylenol for the pain, and then start getting her ready for bed. By now it's more than an hour past bedtime, not that Girl 2 was even trying to sleep. She escaped her room for her nightly avoid bedtime drink of water and to give Girl 1 to give a kiss goodnight.  Girl 2 adores her big sister, so when she saw this: 

temporary cast from urgent care

 She did this:

toilet paper roll

to match. 

A few days later Girl 1 got her purple cast and we had a truly lovely day together just her and me. And the break was clean and small so she only had to have it the cast on for 5 weeks too.  

some of our shenanigans

So yeah, the initial event that started it all sucked and mom and dad felt like assholes, but at least there was some cute news in there too. 

Threenager take 2

Aaaaaand Girl 2 is 3!

Happy birthday my 

Snacky

Smiling (so so so smiley!)

Sketchy (wait-)

Snuggly! (omg her cuddles are fierce) 

little one! 

Sometimes (lots-times) you drive me insane, all-the times you are loud, but that is you, and you are who you are and we will always love you exactly like that.   

- Love mommy, daddy and big sis  

Salty Bedtime

The past month bedtime with the girls has been...challenging. Bedtime routine is supposed to go:
- 7pm -

- Nighttime potty (Girl 1) /nighttime diaper* change (Girl 2)
- Vitamin
- Brush teeth
- Stories
- Kisses/hugs, go to rooms
- Sleep: around 7:30pm 

*We** are also trying to potty train at this time

**mom and dad are, Girl 2 is nope.    

Here's how bedtime routine actually goes:
- 7pm-7:30ish Shit it's bedtime -

- Nighttime potty (Girl 1) /nighttime diaper change (Girl 2)

1: Cajole into performing basic body function of going to the bathroom 

- Vitamin
- Brush teeth

fight over step stool, put toothpastes on tooth brushes. 1: whine/cry "I need help" because bodily function. 2: run giggling with the toothbrush in mouth  

- Stories
- Kisses/hugs, go to rooms

1: You need to go to your bed in your room. No you do not get another story. No it's not time to play with us. What do you want to show me? Yes you can play/listen to your music in your room but do so quietly. Shhh! Shhhh! (nothing is louder than girl 1 trying to be quiet)

- This part has been ALL ME the past month -  

2: Snuggle/rock. Exhaust. Lullaby. Put in bed. Put in bed. Put in bed... Eventually lay down in bed with mommy is snuggling.* Freak out/cry run if mommy inches** away.***  

*uncomfortably laying on the floor and toddler bed

**lay on floor next to bed trying to work out neck kink.

***literally scoot inch by inch towards the door while fighting all the lingering mommy exhaustion from the past month

- Sleep: 10pm or later

Tuesdays I get home from work around 8:30 so it's 100% dr soc/daddy bedtime. Last night went like:  

- 7pm

- Nighttime potty/diaper change

- Vitamin

- Brush teeth

- Stories

- Kisses/hugs, go to rooms

1: Plays fairly quietly in room until I come home and check on her. Thump. Thump. Thump. Honey, you need to whisper and and be still to be quiet. Thump. Thump. Thump. Repeat 17 times (give or take)

2: put in bed and fall asleep in 5 fucking minutes!!!!  

- Sleep: 1 no idea, late and mommy shushed as usual: 2: 7:fucking 30pm. 

I am thrilled all my work and rigmarole got girl 2 to sleep in 5 fucking minutes. But I am also salty as hell she fell asleep in 5 fucking minutes for dr soc.  So glad I made that part of parenting easier for my husband.  So yes, happy overall. But also incredibly salty because fucking hell 5 minutes with no snuggling, rocking, exhausting, parental yoga moves, inching away! What the hell kid?!

Yup, that's ________

dr soc: I was trying to leave and girl 2 peed in the pull-up. Now is naked and playing in waterless tub

me: Yup that's girl 2

dr soc: Girl 1 partially being helpful and partially driving me crazy

me: Yup that's girl 1

dr soc: Tug of war match over toy

me: Yup that's sisters

dr soc: Just look for me later rocking in a chair hugging myself all day

me: Yup that's parenting! 

Happy Mother's day!

Mom worry

 

This one’s peanut allergy has gone down!! Girl 2 is still allergic, but her reaction was significantly less than the last time we tested her. Such wonderful news, but even more so after yesterday’s diagnosis.

There will always be part of me that that worries about my kids. It’s impossible to turn off the mom worry. But not having to worry as much about her allergy is a relief. Getting the test was no picnic, she threw a massive tantrum when getting tested. Not that I blame her, your back got all pricked up and it itches like hell and the only thing you want to do is put your princess shirt back on but you can’t figure it out yourself and mommy isn’t helping that bitch. I totally get it. And as far as her speech delay goes, even though she’s not saying * as many words as she should at this age, I know she knows things. She can count 1 - 10, but she can recognize some of those the numbers* and point them out. 

*how’s me, the most talkative person in the world, having a speech delayed kid for irony? 

*she just correctly pointed to ‘for fucks’ on a number puzzle. Four frogs in the number four. See? She knows!

Oh darling girl, you are who you are and mommy loves you so much no matter what. 

Process

Girl 2 is speech delayed. We’ll be starting speech therapy for her in the near future and work on getting her caught up.  So what does that mean exactly? 

It means...I’m processing it.  I mean...it’s not a bad thing. She’s healthy and happy and a joyful little girl. But it’s unexpected, so it still hurts a little you know? And no parent wants this, an additional difficulty. Kids are who they are and you love them fiercely regardless. But being a parent is hard and worrisome enough on it's own, so another challenge, no matter how manageable, is something to deal with.

I think deep down she’s going to be fine.  Being able to socialize safely again and being around kids her own age will probably help her development as well. Parenting is just...a loooooooong game and here’s something else to wrestle.

So. I’m processing. 

A documentary

Living with a little turkey and lion, it was only a matter of time before we found ourselves in a nature documentary. Presenting:

The toddler stalks her prey...

Successful attack! ‘YUMMY!’ is screamed in victory

The toddler enjoys her spoils

Extremes

Get this: parenting is HARD. Like, soul crushing questioning your entire being day drinking hard. And the pandemic has made that...obvious. And with the girls...there is no middle ground. It’s seems I can only reach the extremes of the emotional spectrum with them. Yes I love them more than than I ever thought possible, so much that my heart will burst. Then 12 minutes (give or take) later, be exasperated with them more than I ever thought was humanly possible.

For example, when Dr Soc has his laser* eyes** put in.

*I am always disappointed laser is not lazer 

**permanent contacts. Not lasik, lazer eyes sound cooler.

Girl 1 was so incredibly empathetic I welled up a bit. She was determined to serve daddy dinner in bed, but since we were having soup she asked him if he wanted me to carry it up on a tray or if he wanted to come downstairs (he chose the latter). So she claimed the last cookie for him. Then when she went to use the bathroom she told him to not look in that direction and when she was turning the lights on/off because he was so sensitive to light (they dilated the fuck out of him and he was hilariously all pupil for 2 days). That entire evening she was incredibly helpful and so gentle and just a great little human. Then the next morning we went to the dentist and she wouldn’t open her mouth and if I hadn’t been getting my own teeth cleaned at the time I would have spit nails.

And girl 2 is...TWO. Adamant in what she wants but can’t articulate it, morphing into a flailing banshee trying to communicate ratcheting my anxiety to an 11. But then she snuggles and cuddles you with pure affection and we’re all laughing with joy.

I know they are both just acting their age and doing the best they can with some BIG emotions. As the grown up I’m the safe space for them to recognize whatever feelings they have and figure out how to cope so they don’t become emotionally stunted adults. It’s just...so, so, so sooooooooooooo...hard

Talk Bubbles

To the surprise of no one, my girls are talkers. Ironically when they were born they both were so quiet the medical staff was concerned, even though they were perfectly healthy. Yeah, it was odd...

But after that, as soon as they figured out they could vocalize in some way they did. Girl 1 makes articulate affirmations (e.g. mischief, actually, memorized all said clear as a bell and used correctly) and Girl 2 has entire conversations and spouts platitudes in babble. 

And they are both savage AF. 

4.5: Mommy have you shrunk yet?

me: umm, no. I'm not that old* just yet.

4.5: Has daddy? Because he's kind old.*

*Chinese ladies are ageless forever and -poof- look 120 and start shrinking. True fact.

*He turned 40 in February and hehehehe. 

And also:

-sees pregnant mannequin at the store and says very loudly-

4.5: Mommy! That belly is really big - like yours!

me: no honey, there's supposed to be a baby i-

4.5: just like yours!  

SAVAGE.

As for girl 2, I don't know what my 2 year old was actually trying to say, but that had to be the cutest little "bitch bitch bitch" I've ever heard!

 

Happy Birthday Little Lion!

Little Lion is officially 2! I say officially because as soon as this girl could walk she has been running me ragged and been the a quintessential toddler. She is also:

my little climber 

SO proud of herself

My little artist

Have writing utensil - will draw on anything

Rock star

Baby Shark doo doo doo doo 

Big sister adoring

Yeah, she needs the leash

Yogurt loving

(and bath) 

And ice cream adoring

ALL OF IT IN MY MOUTH

Smiling 

Extroverted 

so outgoing

Party girl* 

The most precious, snugly, strong willed, vocal (when frustrated she releases these banshee cries until someone relents and she gets what she wants), most kissable

absolutely most darling little one our family could have

Happy birthday sweetheart! 

*She slams her juice cup down with the enthusiasm of a college kid at a frat party. Speaking of frat parties she wriggles all her sleeveless shirts into togas. Her 21st birthday is on a Saturday (yup I checked). And my personal favorite, before we legit* baby proofed the kitchen, she reached into the party* cabinet and gleefully pulled out a full bottle of wine! 

*put childproof locks on. Previously we had hair ties wrapped around some cabinets because big sister didn't really get into things and also had 2 sets of eyes on her. This one not so much.

*booze, serving platters, fondue pot, punch bowl...aka: party 

Gold Stars

It's official, Girl 2 is allergic to peanuts.

Two weeks ago I gave her a dab of peanut butter* and she quickly broke out in red splotchy hives around her mouth and eye where she touched. We gave her benadryl which cleared it up pretty quick - thank god- (and then took a solid 2 hour nap -also thank god), and the pediatrician referred us to an allergy center for testing.

*I had shown Girl 1 peanut butter jelly time for some reason earlier so pb&j for lunch was sorta a given.

Yesterday was our allergist appointment and she was diagnosed with a peanut allergy (but not tree nuts, so that's a sliver lining). However, to even make it to the appointment, I had to rearrange my work schedule and take sick time. Dr soc was able to make it for most of the appointment but had to leave to go teach his classes while we were waiting to talk allergy action plan. Afterwards she was really clingy (can't say I blame her with her back getting all pricked up) and I couldn't put her down/stop comfort nursing, but I still had to get to work eventually.

So dr soc and I arranged for me to drop her off in his class on my way in. Not ideal, but special circumstances, for a short amount of time, it would be okay. And let's be honest, he's a white male so nothing can really harm him.

As far as we know he hasn't gone viral for being a parent, but the patriarchy is alive and well (thriving even!) so we figure at the very least society gave him another gold star or two for yesterday.

ROAR!

Aaaaaand - Little Lion is 1! (also because she's the 2nd kid I'm not as on top of the memory updates, sorry my darling, mommy loves you!)

Anyway- after several weekends of getting distracted and a false alarm- July 23 2018 we left for the hospital at 7 pm, and dr soc yelled "another girl!" at 9:57 pm!

proving my maternal instinct absolutely incorrect 

and in 365+ days became:

one year old!

She's also:

a great giver of looks

I call this my Blue Steel. Or I'm probably pooping
(she was pooping - also a great burper too!)

Super chill

S'up? (don't those cheeks just kill you?)

Costume embracing

Rarity of My Little Pony (as decreed by big sister) 

Big Sister Adoring

pictured: bonding between sisters or: world domination plotting session
could go either way

Smiling

girl 2 gives girl 1 some of her biggest smiles

Super snugly:

Daddy and big sister?! My favorites! 

Self feeding:

this girl puts everything, and I mean everything, in her mouth

Dog feeding:

Oh hi Jules! You want some cheerios?

Grocery shopping aficionado 

All the blue pouches please mommy!

Laughing. So SO much laughing!

and talented! look what I can do! 

Ice cream loving

she screams if you don't give it to her fast enough

Most perfect little girl

absolutely perfect

She made our family a million times even more happy than we ever dreamed

two perfect little girls

my heart didn't know it could be this full

#trope

Happy Birthday Little Lion! ROAR!