Shhh...

As some of you know, I adore Victoria's Secret. I am there the first day of the sale (seriously, I've worked it around my class/work schedule), and I'll spend an average $100 every single time I go, and I'll go several times in a sale season too. I even went when I was between boyfriends, because I enjoy getting pretty/lacy things for myself. But a few months after the engagement, I stopped wearing sexy underpinnings because it seemed that every time I tried to surprise my ex, he got home really late and I was already asleep, or he would bring a really drunk friend home and that person would crash on the couch (which didn't put me in the pounciest of moods). I got so fed up with it, I told him I wasn't going to wear anything of the sort for him (until the honeymoon), and packed away the contents of that drawer. Foolish boy thought I was kidding.

One evening we were home together (how those stars aligned I have no idea) and the commercial for the semi-annual sale comes on the tv. He nudges my hip somewhat excitedly and ask "hey, you going?" And it sounds like a horn dog thing to say, but he knew that I enjoyed going to the sale for myself and that would cheer me up. But I just snorted and said, "no, I'm not wearing that stuff anymore, you never noticed it. ::sigh:: And I don't have the money to go either." My bluntness dumbstruck him, but he didn't mention it again. When my birthday came around a month later though, his mom and sister gave me a gift card to Victoria's Secret. And I found that... well, honestly, kind of creepy. Because I know they asked him what store should they get me a gift card too, so I know he told them how bummed I was about not going to the sale (I hope he left out the I haven't touched her in weeks and it's making her feel rejected part). So it was sweet that he knew where I wanted to shop, but still, underwear from your in-laws... And that they went ahead and got the gift card from there too... Why he didn't say books like he did the last birthday I don't know.

So I have this gift card burning a hole in my wallet, but I haven't been able to bring myself to go into that store in a long time. And this was a store that the sales girls recognized me and convinced me to get the credit card because I was in there "like, all the time." But when I stopped in there around Valentines' Day, I literally ran out less than 2 minutes later because I was super nauseous and on the verge of tears. "How far you have fallen" I thought as I choked back a sob.

But now, I think I can handle it again (having someone tell you you're beautiful helps). So as my last little bit of spite, I'm going to use that gift card and then some this sale time. I'm back Vicki! Did you miss me?