Cute

That's what I am, cute (according to dictionary.com, cute is: attractive, esp. in a dainty way; pleasingly pretty). Cute is a personality as well as a look. But you know what I do not consider myself? Sexy, which is also a personality as well as a look. It's a freaking attitude.

And library guy (this is his code name now on, (better than calling him new guy)), finds my body incredibly sexy. Dare I say he finds me sexy. And frankly, I'm a little unnerved by that and I'm not exactly sure how to handle it. Which is so stupid of me! Because isn't that what you want someone to think of you? But you don't want "cute" in bed, you want sexy. You want the temptress and the sex kitten. And it's not that I don't want to be those things, I just think they're things I'm not quite. And even though he tells me the all right things, emphatically at times, I still get slightly anxious.

Because what if he's disappointed? Or worse, what if he already is? I know I need to put on my big girl pants and let things work out the way they should. But sexy isn't something that just happens, it develops. This isn't something you can't really fake either. And could you even do so when you feel so striped in the first place?