I'm free!

I lost a big chunk of weight during this whole breakup thing; 175 lbs of douche bag to be exact. So here's a few things that I can do now that I am unencumbered!

1. I can tuck the sheets in at the foot of the bed
   
2. I can cook/eat: onions, mushrooms, beans, seafood, dark meat, game, sushi, sausage, cilantro, stuff with nuts, butter, cooked spinach, hell anything with some sort of flavor. Plus, he refused to try anything until he (rudely) asked what every single ingredient was. I will not tolerate a picky eater over the age of 8.
3. I can talk to a male coworker without him sulking
4. I can go salsa dancing
5. I can listen to top 40 and/or country without shame and I can sing (loudly) along with the radio (he was silently evaluating my voice me if I did - and I'm more then capable of carrying a tune and at least I knew how to actually sheet read music,)
6. I don't have to pretend to care about his "music," or music in general at all
7. The toilet seat is always down, and the toilet paper is always stocked
8. There are not 3+ glasses with a half inch of water on the nightstand
   
9. I was going to have to go on a Sandal's honeymoon since I left him in charge of that. Nothing against Sandal's (well, something against it), but it's the Walmart of honeymoon packages, and we all know my opinion on Walmart (it's evil and the epitome of classy with a k)
   
10. I don't have to explain big words and sayings to him anymore. For example: svelte, neurosis, comeuppance, epitome.
11. I could not explain how classy with a K was unacceptable any more to him.
    
12. I was a bit tired of being right on pretty much everything common sense. Seriously, I need some sort of challenge
    
13. No more explaining that: being raised, going to school, working, cheering for their sports teams, living his entire life and having his entire social circle and immediate family in Cincinnati, meant that he was a Cincinnati boy, not the Kentuckian he claimed to be. Just becasue he was born in the state does not make you a resident. He didn't say y'all, like bourbon, or enjoy horse racing. And you ain't no self respectin' Kentuckian if you don't like none of those. (wow that was fun to say)
14. I was tired of a lot of things
15. He forgot a lot of things, like to tell me we were dog sitting for a week starting the night before your half-marathon, or my birthday present, or even that valentines day is a night to spend with your fiancee and not your band mates.
    
16. He did not own a single tool, not that he knew how to use any anyway. It's sad when the girl has her own 2 screw drivers (phillips and flat-head) and and he barely knew the difference between the two.
17. I exhausted my small talk with his friend 2 years ago. I seriously had nothing to say to them in the way of intelligent conversation. Also, I was the only one without multiple visible tattoos and piercings and didn't smoke (ok, he didn't have any of those either. But the company you keep...)
    
18. He was a horrible dresser. I donated a few things w/out his knowledge and even gave the dog his shoes to chew on once (ok, more then once).
19. God he has such horrible taste in everything. Especially in anything aesthetic.
    
20. I don't find things, like the couch, in the wrong place (seriously, he cut the circulation path in half, dumb ass). I was tired of busting out the I-went-to-design-school,-so-leave-the-furniture-alone-card
21. I don't need cards like that anymore
22. I don't have to worry about his fragile self esteem due to his own short comings.

Phew, things are much easier/enjoyably now. I'm free! I'm free! Happy dance!