Friday, November 7, 2008

Cancer Stick=FAIL

I'm a Kentucky girl. I live in the state w/the highest percentage of smokers (it's very close to 30%), and it's our biggest (legal) cash crop. But I give a rat's ass about tobacco and the money it can make for my state. When I see someone light up, I want to stuff them in a box with other smokers and "forget" to poke air holes in it (they're already asphyxiating themselves, why can't we just speed up the process?).

Maybe I have a hyper sensitive nose when it comes to cigarette smoke. But my gift of super smell doesn't make smokers any less stinky. Smokers smell like smokers (what a novel concept). The smell reeks from your pores, so everything your skin touches, your clothes, hair, anything you touch and that includes the air around you, stinks like an overflowing ashtray. I've passed strangers in the grocery store and I gag because I can smell it. And you know what else?
I think smokers are trashy. Pretty much every single one. On a scale of 1 to 10, (1=pwt and 10=epitome of suave), the most you can achieve on my scale is a 5 (half-ass). I refuse to date one, and really, I don't even want to be your friend if you smoke. And if you're the sole non-smoker in your pack of friends, you're pretty much a smoker in my eyes. And not only do you smell bad, you don't look that great either (that is unless you're into that sallow hag look).

And for the record, all the crap you do to cover the smell doesn't work either. The perfumes, only smoking outside, candles, bla bla bla, don't work. Holding the lit cigarette outside while you shiver by an open window and sticking your head out of said window to take a drag doesn't lessen the smell or cover it up. Funny looking yes. Non stinky? No. And I hope it's 24 degrees and raining when you do that so you get pneumonia. Candles can sometimes mask the smell temporarily, but that's if you're standing right next to the candle. And perfume doesn't cover, it just mixes with the smell radiating out of your pores and makes a smokey perfume.

And it's not like anyone nowadays can say "I didn't know it was bad for me!" I'm a bit more forgiving towards the old coots who've smoked 40 years before the risk were really known. It's an addiction and I know that. But it's an addiction you knew would happen and chose to do it anyway. And smokers every now and again try to say coffee just as bad as an addiction, but shove it. There are documented health benefits to caffeine when done in moderation like everything else. But name one for tobacco. Snuff, chew, smoking, find me one. There's freaking warning label on the packaging. BECAUSE IT KILLS YOU. Even if you don't care about killing yourself by sucking on that cancer stick, your second hand smoke isn't making my life any pleasanter. And if I die due to your nasty habit, (lung cancer, car crash because you were lighting up, fire...) you bet the f**k I'm haunting you.

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