Why I would make terrible spy

1. I giggle too much. This does not seem like good spy behavior
2. I have a low tolerance for pain and would give in at the first sign of torture
3. I can always be bribed. Food, money, shiny object, whatever. I'd sell top secrets for pumpkin creme brulee. (don't judge, it's fantastic and you would sell secrets for the right price too. My right price just happens to be in the form of a desert right now)
4. I squirm a lot, which would probably trip some alarm or give away my hiding spot (that or the giggling would).
5. I have a terrible poker face (by terrible I mean none), so my captors would always be able to tell if I was formulating a plan (snort. Of course I would get caught, it's me we're talking about, I giggled!)
6. Though I am good at hiding (I hid in the dryer once during a game of hide and seek. Damn! I just gave away my best one!)
7. See, terrible at keeping secrets.
8. I'm loud. Like a rhino clamoring up the stairs loud. That makes sneaking around unnoticed difficult.
9. More then likely, I'd whine that the plastic thingies they've used to bind my hands are bugging me. (if nothing else, annoy captors. Because they don't want to shoot you at all)
10. I don't like to chase down thugs. That's what minions are for
11. And knowing me, I would forget my super secret mission the second I got a new spy toy and show everyone I could while going "oo! oo! ooh! Look what I can do!" And then be baffled why they took my super cool spy tool away.

I don't think I'm cut out to be a spy. I'm lacking some major stealth qualities. That's ok, I'll just take an Aston Martin. As long as Daniel Craig as James Bond comes with it. (seriously, how do you look at it/him of those and not just think: WANT!)