Wimper

I thought I was doing as well as I could given the circumstances. I had a new job, I signed up for classes, and I was getting a social life again. And then, I didn't like the new job, I'll be playing catchup in school this semester, and my social life started to wane because I was working 2 jobs. And then...

I get an email from him that he's giving up the dog. Surprise surprise, he can't take care of her. My wedding dress comes in. It's the holiday season so everything festive feels like it's mocking me. And my mother, cannot stop talking about how perfect my sister's husband is, he cooks, cleans, is handy, and how wonderful he is to my sister. I like the guy a lot, and I'm happy that she has him, but seriously mom, shut the hell up.

Well, all those combined, I'm not doing well. I can distract myself sometimes, but usually the loneliness and frustration get the better of me. I'm so frustrated, and still so indescribably hurt, that some nights I wish I don't wake up in the morning. And I'm tired of moving forward becasue it feels like I'm just spinning my wheels right now, which is exactly where I was in the first place. My mom told me I could get off the train when I was having doubts about the marriage. So I got off, and I feel like I'm an even rougher emotional place then where I started from. I know I'm being dramatic. I did the right thing. But the right thing sucks. I don't want him back. But I want to stop hurting.