Happy/Sad

It wasn't all bad. In fact, a lot of us was really good. Happy even. It's so easy to focus on the end and get scathingly mad. But as time goes on, and the anger starts to subside, I start to remember the good, and there really was a lot of good. I truly wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. There were a lot of happy moments, and now they hurt too much to remember them. Because that's all it is now, just a memory. And now that I can recall the good, I'm aching in unhappiness.

There are things I'll never forget, like every detail of the proposal. I gasped as he dropped to one knee. I had thought I would be too shocked to even say anything when he asked, instead I screamed yes for the whole world to hear. How I burst into tears right after I said yes. I remember what we both were wearing, and how the purple the sky was as the sun set. My heart was racing as I was thinking "oh-my-god-oh-my-god-this-can't-be-the-moment-oh-my-god-this-is-the-moment." I remember him telling me I could look at the ring, since I hadn't at first becasue I was too busy jumping up and down screaming excited. I remember complete strangers cheering from their balcony as we walked back to the condo. I remember the way he looked at me all day, like I was the love of his life. I remember everything.
And there are 1000 pictures to remember it too. Glasses on, no makeup, hair disheveled, and I can't tell if he's red becasue of his sunburn or from blushing. Some of those pictures are framed, both of us glowing with happiness. And they are all packed in a box I may never open again.

Well, we all know I'm not that happy anymore. Him putting the ring on my finger was the happiest moment of my life. And me handing it back to him was the saddest. There aren't any pictures to remember that moment. But that's ok, I remember enough as it is.