To a better 2009

Last December, I worked roughly 60 hours a week between 2 jobs, fought a nasty cold for a month, and somehow went apartment hunting too. Not to mention holiday shopping and baking (because I had sooo much time to do that), the dog was getting fixed that month (so on pain meds and was wearing a cone that knocked into everything) and my fiance wouldn't touch me, hell, even come near me because he "couldn't afford to get sick" (and I could? Did you think I was working my ass off for the fun of it? Not because I was trying to save money for our wedding you jackass). Needless to say, I was stressed. I was exhausted, cranky, sick and my my feelings were hurt on top of all that. So I wasn't a tinsel twinkling ray of Christmas cheer when I pulled double duty at the second job. One night I told one co-worker that I hated working with another coworker because "she smells like cat pee or stale snatch." Suddenly I was known as the cranky bartender. Fine by me, people left me alone that way.

So new years eve, I did not want to go out. I had only worked a few hours bartending and made it home by 10 o'clock, but I was in no mood to be social. I wanted to be in my pj's, snuggled tight against his chest on the couch with a bottle of champagne and get my new years kiss. That was it. But he wanted to go over to his friend's house, where they're all smoking like chimneys, getting obnoxiously drunk on crappy beer and going to annoy the crap out of me being the trashy people that they are. And I told him, "I don't want to go, because I'm exhausted, it's smokey, and I don't want to leave the dog alone (She was off the pain killers by then). And instead of remembering how much he missed me on Christmas (we spent it at each of our own parents houses' and not together) and had agreed to no more holiday's apart, he left me anyway. He even waited until after I got home from work just to make sure I really didn't want to go. So I spent new years eve in my pj's on the couch, where I fell asleep before midnight, the dog curled up around my feet, and with no champagne. I woke up right as they were counting down the new year, only to give the dog a quick kiss. Yes, it's exactly as sad as it sounds. And when he called me at midnight, to wish me happy new year, he was pretty unhappy surrounded by all the other couples and remember how much loved me. He remorsefully said "I should have stayed with you." My response was, "Yes. You should have." And then I went to bed alone.

Here's hoping 2009 is a much better year.