Wedding Bells

I went to my boss' wedding last week.

She got engaged a few weeks after I started my job and that means a few weeks after I called off my engagement. I considered it major personal progress that my first thought was not "f*ck you and your happiness, " and that I genuinely felt and said congratulations for her.

She was so happy, just the way I was when I first got engaged. And I knew that my unhappiness shouldn't ruin her happiness. Because only assholes do that. I don't know if she knew about my status then. At times I felt a little bad because I know she felt she couldn't really talk about her wedding in front of me at first. And as a bride, that's the only thing you want to talk about. But I never discouraged her, and if it came up I joined in the conversation. I just wasn't going to be asking for details at first.

I knew I was invited, but there were times I wasn't sure if I would be able to handle a wedding. But then I realized, hell, if I can be in my little sister's wedding as my engagement was crashing, I can certainly handle a co-workers wedding over a year later.

And I was 95% ok for the thing. But as I was sitting a the reception, I kept thinking about my wedding that didn't happen. And I kept wondering, will I get to wear my wedding dress? Will we get to register, and will I get a bridal shower? Will I get to dance with my dad? Was I for or against a cake topper? But mostly, will I get another chance at this?