Sick boys

Seriously, I hate sick boys. This seems to be a common complaint between women. As much as we love (in my case, loved) our SO's, they all seem to turn into the biggest baby when sick. Cause you know, "when a man gets sick, the world stops" (Celia Rivenbark quote). Because no one else in the entire history of the world, has ever felt as sick as this pwoor wittle guy.

But do they ever take anything for it? Nope. Cause no one else has ever felt this bad, so clearly there is absolutely nothing strong enough for this sort of agony. They just whimper and sniffle and drive you nuts until you shove a pill down their throat, and while they chase bats in their dreams, you shove things up their nose as payback and because they can't breath from it anyway. (Lori Notaro reference). And yes, I'm sure you feel yucky honey, but take something and cork it (or I'll make you. Either way, you are taking a pill).

My first boyfriend in college admitted that when he was sick, he turned into the biggest baby and wanted to be taken care of. First, I snorted. And then second, said something along the lines of "don't come crying to me. I'll hand you a pill and tell you to stuff it." And a few months later when he did get a cold and subsequently tried to whine to me about it, I shot him a look and handed him some dayqil. And then told him to stuff it. Hey, I did warn him.

Now, I'm not a completely heartless, I did attempt to take care of my ex when he caught my nasty cold. (Hey you know what probably didn't help matters? Hanging out with all your smoker friends with wet hair in December. Just saying.) The same cold that knocked me out for a month. You know, the one I worked 60 hours on, apartment hunted, moved, and Christmas shopped with. But since it was my cold, and I loved him, I let him have the good pills right away instead of trying to pawn off the worthless NyQuil. Though when he finished the entire box in 2 days (he didn't exactly heed the "do not take more than 6 does in 24 hours" warning) and tossed the empty box in the trash, I made sure he had his id, handed him his wallet and keys and told him: no pussy footing around, you buy the real name brand behind the counter stuff. Don't even come home if you buy the generic.

A few months later when I moved out and cleaned the medicine cabinet out, I took every single pill box and bottle we owned with me. (hell, I bought most of it anwyay) I even the bullsh*t NyQuil.