Love

Two years ago today my father passed away in the morning.
It's something I'll never forget. Even though he had been sick for years and it wasn't unexpected, I was still gobsmacked that this was the moment to truly say goodbye. I wanted to sob and have Dad comfort me like always, but I knew comforter was my role now. So I held it together, just enough. I called my sister so she was able to say goodbye. Mom, Mike and I sat beside him and told him over and over how much we love him. Mom and I each held his hands as he slipped away, and then he was gone. And I'll never forget that.

But something else I won't forget is that evening when so many dear friends came over. They all brought food so we wouldn't have to cook the next few days. We were laughing, remembering, looked through years of pictures, they just keept us company. Every light in the house was on, was it was loud, and it felt alive, surrounded and filled with love. So even though there was a huge hole in my heart with my dad gone, my heart still felt very full.

Life still feels that way at times. Like something is missing at times, or something has changed in some way, but my heart still feels full.