Sunday, June 7, 2009

Hmm (insert inquisitive face here)

So I like library guy. A lot. F*ck. This highly complicates my self imposed don't rush into anything in order to protect myself bubble.

Now I'm not falling for him. Yet. But there's a high possibility that I could/will (as long as I want to keep kissing him, and I don't see that stopping anytime soon). I'm aware of my inability to stop falling once I start (somehow I don't fully understand (care) physics though). So I'm part scared want to run away, and part jump in head first w/out checking to see if there's water in the pool. Um, how come I can't just let things fall into place? (because I am not patient, and I'm happier when it's my way dammit, that's why)

Well, I'll keep myself in check regardless. I have other things to focus on besides a fledgling relationship. But I still worry: what if he doesn't like me? I know he's attracted to me, which is clearly not a bad thing. But liking me, that's a different story. All I can be is my spazy self and hope he does. If he doesn't, then I toss him in the fools I've dated pile. And if he does, then that gets a yay(!) and I remind myself of my self imposed bubble.

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