Truth be told, I'm not over him/it. I'm not crying anymore, and the epiphany was a milestone, but it wasn't a complete cure-all. Just because you know something is going to hurt, doesn't make it hurt any less. I won't deny that know what I was supposed to be doing on my wedding checklist if I were getting married in two months (sending the invites, ordering wedding bands, bridal shower...). I still keep track, and it saddens me that I'm not doing these things.
There are days that are harder then they should be, and I don't really know what triggers it sometimes. But as painful as everything was, given the chance to do it over, I would make the same choice. That makes me smile, smirk even. I'm going to go a lot farther in life because I left him. I'm not worrying about what color the table linens should be (pink, duh) and how to keep the future MiL from sugesting anymore crap (sometimes her helpful was just intrusive). I am worrying about my class schedule, what and when I can take certain classes. And I'm worried about getting into to pharamcy school in the first place too. I have a different checklist, and different goals now. A better checklist and way better goals. I have much bigger fish to fry. But part of me still kinda want that little fish too.
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