Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I Hate Your Kids

Yep. I do.

Ok, I don't hate my friends' children or kids that I actually know. I love being Auntie Sarah. But the brats that I see at the library? See title of this post.

Here's why:
  1. Well, first, they are brats. And they always seem to be stupid too. I'm annoyed by stupid kids.
  2. On that note, the childrens' department is not free babysitting. If your kid is not old enough/responsible enough to be left unsupervised at home, they are also not old enough to be at the library without you.
  3. If you are with your kid, you are not allowed to mentally check out and not parent either. Then get mad, defensive and frankly just rude at us for telling your screaming kid to use their inside voice, stop saying bad words or not destroy the department.
  4. Also, we will not do your homework for you either. We can help and point you in the right direction, but I am not going to dictate your book report.
  5. We can see that you are not working on that same book report/science project you wanted us to do on the computer, and that you dicking around on myspace. How do we know? We have eyes.
  6. Trust me we have seen every trick in the book before, and if you ask one person and don't get the answer you want, another library staff is not going to tell you anything different. You're 44th on the waiting list, and you have $10 in fines. That's not going to change no matter who you ask.
  7. Just because we don't want you to re-shelve the books, that doesn't mean we're your maids either. If you don't want to throw something away, what makes you think we want to too? And if any part of you is sticky, please don't touch anything.

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