Monday, May 3, 2010

Cock Block

My dog is a snuggler. She just loves to curl up next to you and take up as much room as possible. But it's not that she just likes to be against someone, she likes to be between people. Especially if those someones are me and a boy.

When I was with my ex, she always curled up in between us. And that was fine and cute when she was 15 lbs. Even 20 lbs was manageable, we could maneuver around her and then crate her if we wanted to get "close." And when my ex and I were breaking up, I let her sleep there on purpose, because I was constantly pissed at him and I didn't want him near me. And Bailey would without fail, snuggle between us and stretch out, therefore making all not going to happen anyway cuddling impossible.

Even when it's a female friend sharing the couch or relaxing in my bedroom (oh la la I know!), she is upset if you dare take her space. My dr friend stayed over new years eve and we were having a throw back style sleepover with my tiny tv in my bedroom. Were sitting in bed and Bailey is giving us the most annoyed looks, looking at us like, umm, 'scuse me, but you are in MY spot. So she jumps in the middle, circles a few times and plops and stretches her legs as far out as possible.

Over the summer, when Bailey and I were visiting a friend, she did the same thing without the annoyed looks. She just lept into bed and nestled right between us when it was bed time. It was pretty comedic timing actually, she did this right as he was trying to get his arm around me (I was secretly thankful, he had been trying to cuddle with me after dinner and I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but well, not into it). And she's big now so when she snuggles she's high enough on the bed to rule out any sort of intimacy. Then she kicks you in the kidneys when she stretches out just to make a point that she's the only one who gets to snuggle with me. She proceeded to stay there the entire night and I thought to myself, wow, my dog's a pretty effective cock block.

But the most recent libido killer was with dr soc. We had moved to the dog-ok bed and hoped to fall back asleep snuggled up together (like the new couple that we are) along with the dogs being cute and cuddly in there too. No such luck since the girls spent the next hour wrestling each other and jumping on and off the bed. But we attempt to get them both up there and settle down. Jules circles and plops around our shoulders like a cute little dog. Not to be outdone, Bailey finds the sliver of space between dr soc and I, and flops down pushing us to the far corners of the bed. So far that we can't even hold hands through the tangle of spaz dogs and covers . Of course, this made Jules get up and run away, to which Bailey responds by leaping after her and someone's paws got to 2nd base. By this point we realized the cute cuddly sleep with the dogs plan was a fail. So we just let them play and went back to snuggling with just humans.

And Bailey, honey, I love you and you've saved me a couple times there. I appreciate that because you knew what needed to be done in those situations. But I really really like this guy. And if you want to keep playing with his dog, (and I know you do) you have to let us have our own play time. Kay?

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