Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Something Else

So the pharmacy thing. Not going to happen for me. Yes, it's a tough pill to swallow (oh hardy har-har there). But it's best to cut my losses now and stop struggling. My back up plan if pharmacy didn't happen was to be a chemist. And that's not going to happen either. Also a tough pill to swallow. But they are being swallowed. Albeit roughly, but still, I'm accepting it.

What I need to remember is that I made two huge decisions last year. To leave my fiance and go to school for pharmacy. Both were good choices. Both were smart choices. And both were right choices. But by making them at the same time, I bit off a lot more than I could chew. Not the going back to school in general, but I should have waited on what career to pick.

And honestly, I can't tell you why I picked pharmacy in the first place. I mean, there were reasons: the prestige, the money and the flexibility of it for my hypothetical family. Ok, all great reasons. It seemed like a really good choice. It still seems like a really good choice. But I can't tell you that it was always my dream and I couldn't imagine doing anything else. Was it ultimately what I wanted to do? I couldn't tell you one way or the other.

So what now? Sociology. What will I do with it? I'm not sure yet. But I was working on a minor in it at uc, so this isn't too out of left field for me. But please don't ask questions or give sugestions right now. Because I've thought this through. I've thought everything in the past year and a half through. Absolutely everything. More than you could ever imagine. How to juggle a career and a family. How to get both of those. I've thought about going to grad school, I've thought about quiting school. I've thought about what races I want to run in the next few years to what gym clothes I'm wearing the rest of the week (I only have so many sports bras). I've thought of homes in Lexington or where I could move if I don't stay here. I've thought of every possiblity, long and short term, with every possible family situation, hypothetical and not hypothetical. I've thought. I've thought a lot. And this blog, is maybe 15% of what goes on in my head on a daily basis. But the one thing I was tired of thinking while struggling in class was this: I want to do something else. I just want to do something I'm good at.

2 comments:

Bry said...

Whatever it is that you've chosen, I wish you well :-)

Spazzella said...

Thank you!