I went to a college bar the other night. Right, now I remember why I stopped going to them. It was too crowded, too loud and too exhausting. A lot of too everythings. So this is my attempt at a PSA for those of us who are not afraid to grow up.
Some observations:
1. If you are 24 or above, you are too old to be there. However, 23 is totally mature.
2. All the girls look the same, blond and tons of skin. And while I'm thinking about it, put a sweater on, I don't need to see your nips to know you're cold. And a little support never hurt anyone you tart.
3. A tart doesn't actually know what a tart is. They think it's only a baked good.
4. A guy may have on one or more of the following: strait leg jeans, rumpled button-down shirt, graphic T, frat boy orange, or baseball cap
5. If you drove yourself there, you think you can drive yourself back.
6. The I'm-bored-and-I'm-way-too-pretty-to-be-waiting-for-a-drink-in-the-first-place-look is taught during freshman orientation.
7. Everyone is someone's girl/boy/bff/ or favorite person that night
8. Once in line for the bathroom, you are trapped. Be wary of flailing gropers and random make-out partners. Nothing says romance like a full bladder
9. The virtues of late night food will be the most stimulating conversation you will have all night. But only if you can outshout the other person.
10. And no matter what, there is always someone drunker then you. If you cannot find that person, you are the one making out with people in the bathroom line.
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