Monday, October 19, 2009

The Football

Guess who was undefeated and ranked number one in her league? That's right. My boys, aka, Spazzy's Bitches. (What? I love my team name)

I don't have the highest amount of points, but I have the most wins. I'm actually 3rd overall in terms of points. But even though I got my ass kicked this week (grrrr), I'm still at 5-1-0, and the next highest wins would be 4-2-0 (does anyone ever tie in football?). So I think I've got this lead for another week. Woo-HOO!

Of course, now that I'm all boastful, and my winning streak has been ruined, I'm sure I'm going to have a litany of sissy injuries, suspensions and arrests and I'll be scrambling to find back-ups for my back ups. And it's not like I've actually watched a game or anything though. I just check the rankings, know who's playing and post some smack talk.

Here's a snippet of my smack talk for your snarking pleasure:
  • (when I was playing against Romo) "Hey Romo! how 'bout you break that pinky again?"
  • "Bye weeks can blow me" (damn me for picking 3 Bears. Same team = same bye week = lot's 'o backups (or as I call them, the not good enoughs))
  • (Chad Ocho Cinco didn't score super high so I benched him one week). "That's right Ocho, I benched you. When you score higher I'll consider putting you back on the big boys team."
  • (then he had a great week I put him back in) "Fine chad, you can play, but let's put your money where your mouth is shall we?"
  • (during a reeealy close game): I'm up by .43 points, my defense against her wide receiver. I want her guy out and I want BLOOD!
  • Yo, injuries, you're on notice. I don't want "possible."
  • Chad! you constantly get our performed by a guy on the bench. why do I continuously put my fait in you?
  • Hey bitches, I really like my lead. Let's keep in there m'kay?
Admit it, you're snickering the thought of me being sassy/screechy/bitchy and demanding violence. I'm having a freaking blast so far. Football is fun!

No comments: