Tired

I am tired. Of so many things.

• I am tired of balancing 18 credit hours, a part time job, a long distance relationship, automatically going to worry about my dad, no one listening to me and a misbehaving dog.
• I am tired that as soon as I balance all of the above something shifts and I'm off balance again.
  
• I am tired of not acknowledging how stressed I am.
• I am tired of Bailey being ornery, being embarrassed over my dog's behavior and her lack of basic obedience.
• I am tired of hunting for time to train her and not finding it.
• I am tired of all the training "assvice" on the web that says my dog's behavior is all my fault. (read all about it in tomorrow's blog).
  
• I am tired of accepting my dog as is, but that other people do not, and the assvice from those people on how to take care/discipline her.
• I am tired of knowing no matter what training I implement won't ever be good enough.
• I am tired of the line in the sand dr soc and I have over her.
• I am tired of his dog being so much better than mine.
• I am tired of banging my head against a brick wall when trying to get my dad to have better health habits.
  
• I am tired of worrying about the best way to take care him and that I need to do so in the first place.
• I am tired of always f*cking multitasking, inevitably dropping something while doing so and the feeling of ineptness that accompanies that.
• I am tired of trying to be perfect for everyone else.
• I am tired of being in fear that I will fail again, and people telling me it will be ok when they have never been in my position before.
• I am tired of that even though I'm working my ass off and doing well in school I'm still not proud of myself.
• I am tired of walking a few miles to and from school even though I take the bus to campus.
• I am tired of my bus being more of an inconvenience than a benefit.
• I am tired of being a poor college student.
• I am tired of not having the time to regularly work out even if it is just to clear my head.
• I am tired of my jeans not fitting and not having the time or energy to fix that, or even the money to just get new ones.
• I am tired of back burner stuff becoming front burner stuff. Especially when the front burner stuff remains on the front burner on high.
• I am tired of having burners.
• I am tired of micro-managing my day into half hour increments.
• I am tired of constantly revamping those half hours into my schedule, and having to shuffle things around.
• I am tired of stressing when something goes wrong and not being able to competently deal with it like I have before.
• I am tired of not having time to see my friends.
• I am tired of not being able to see my boyfriend.
• I am tired of when I do get to do something fun , that I have to plan for it, and that I have to do so much work before hand that I can't enjoy myself fully.

I. Am. Tired.