Mystery Socks

There is a pair of white ankle socks in our laundry that are neither mine or dr soc's. Every time one of us finds that particular pair of socks while folding the laundry, we put it in the other one's sock drawer or back into the dirty laundry basket.  It's what we do.    

However, when we each discover the rouge pair in our drawer, we have the who's are these discussion.  We finally deduced they are probably some sort of ass tax, and figured out but left unspoken that they are probably my ex-fiance's since that's the most likely way either one of us would have ended up with some other guy's socks.  (If that's the case I really didn't even know I still had them. I threw the contents of my dresser into some bags and moved to Charlotte.)  

So yesterday, I saw them in my sock drawer, and of course we had the these-are-not-mine-discussion.  And I decided to save us from 50 more years of bickering about who's socks are who's I would just throw them away.  And thus: problem solved! 

Words of Wisdom

I've been watching Teen Mom 2. Shut up. It's fascinating and doesn't glamorize anything. But I though it would share/paraphrase some words of wisdom I learned while watching the show.

baby daddy: I've cheated on you, like, 5 times.
teen mom: What? Why?
baby daddy: Well, if I had been happy with you I wouldn't have cheated.

Oh, ok, I get it now. Justifying it makes it ok.  Calling her a selfish, stupid fcking bitch, and the baby you had with her a mistake, wasn't you being a sorry excuse for a human, it was a nice thing to say. Teen mom took it the wrong way, and that made you unhappy.  So it's ok for you get physical gratification somewhere else.

teen mom: Why is he being this way? I thought he wanted to be with us.
teen mom teen friend who also has a baby: Just because he has a baby with you doesn't mean he wants to be with you forever.

Sigh. It THIS what we're teaching teenagers nowadays? That's it's ok to leave and being an ass is justifiable?

I don't necessarily agree with the black and white thought that a pregnancy and/or children is the sole reason you are with someone. Some couples just don't work and constantly fighting and creating a hostile and negative environment isn't good for anyone. Some people are just awful people in general too (see above baby daddy example if you need further clarification). But I do believe that people, jackass or not, should be civil to one another, especially if there are children in the picture.

And I can say, my kids won't be like that, or I'll teach my kids better. I can say that now. I can say that I won't accept that kind of behavior. But I can't tell you what kind of people my teenagers will come to be in the next 20 years. I can say I'll teach them manners and responsibility and all that great stuff you want to do as a parent. But nothing guarantees that it will stick. Most you can do is hope that it does and roll with it.

Wonderful Problem

With my unofficial date now unofficilay selected, I became super-bride-to-be proactive and am looking at the logistics of my wedding. I'm looking to see what's available, what's in my price range and what are viable possibilities. But there's a big difference in a pretty space that can only accommodate 80 people vs one that can hold 2000. Some places just won't work for us in general, like being too expensive or having too many rules. Some places are ugly. Some are too small, some are unnecessarily too big, and others are pretty and flexible with space but used to be a funeral home and to me that's bad jujube. So to have a better idea of what I actually need and should price, I started making the guest list.

I thought I had a ball park figure. I started with the obligation invites, and then moved on to the friends, easily doubling my half. Add to that Mike's half and we have a bigger number than I had originally thought. It's not like we went from single A to the majors, but still, up. And every now and again one of us gets the I need to add so-and so to my half, and we keep adding.

So our guest list is getting bigger and bigger and I start to think, oh my god how much is this going to cost? Should I put a cap on the guest list? (the answer is yes if the number gets too out of control. But it's a high cap)  I do realize that not everyone will be able to come, but it's not good idea to select a venue that will accomadate only 80% of the guest list.  It's way easier to not fill a few seats than to it is to counjure some out of thin air.  So then you start to think, well, who will actually come and can the obligation invite just be a courtesy?  But that's not how I want to celebrate. I want the people that I love and care about there to share in my happiness, and they shouldn't be excluded from that. Friends I've accumulated over time shouldn't be on the B-list, waiting for a spot hoping for great aunt Mabel to RSVP no. (FYI, for those of you that are invited, if you don't send back the RSVP card I will hurt you.)

While I was number crunching and budgeting and wondering where to cut costs, I took a step back and realized: I have so many friends. What a wonderful "problem" to have!

Just a little more Crow

I love jewelry.  Wait, let me rephrase that: I LOVE jewelry.  Rings, bracelets, necklace, earrings, broach, and yes a tiara, I love it all.  Diamonds, gemstones, semi-precious stones, platinum, 18 carat gold, sterling silver, jade, you name it, my interest is at the very least piqued.  So, you can imagine the sheer amount of will power I had to use to not squeal like a 4th grader and weep with joy at the 4 jewelry stores dr soc and I went to yesterday while we ring shopped.

Did you know we have a Tiffany's in Charlotte?  Do you know who's the best boyfriend ever and indulged me?  Boy oh boy, do they do sparkle well there.  There's a reason they have mirrors everywhere in that store.  Not only to make everything glitter more, but so you can see how your own face lights up when you look at a diamond so near flawless that it disappears underneath all the rainbows it reflects out.  However, that ring was $18,000.  We found a just as sparkly but slightly smaller ring much more reasonable priced at $13,000 though.  But even at that reasonable price, I could never justify buying a ring that cost more than a car. 

We went to two other local jewelers and tried on stuff there as well.  I think I behaved myself well enough or else dr soc wouldn't have kept taking me to more stores.  Of course I'm gravitating towards the rings with the larger center stones.  Of course I am.  But I'm also really into the halo setting too, which don't need as big a center stone to make the ring.  The halo setting allows for a variety of band styles, which can completely change the style of the ring.  

So I'm trying on ring after ring and we're getting a better idea of what I say I like and what I actually like and Mike is starting to understand what he likes too.  And I try on this rather large halo setting with a carat center stone and a split shank band.  Beautiful in the case, but just not the right shape and size for my own hand.  It was too big.  I know.

So I turn to away from the sparkler on my finger and towards my darling boyfriend.  And I say to him: "I'm going to say something I never thought I'd say.  But this ring is too big!"

Crow's not that bad

Dr soc and I needed to know how much money we needed to save for our big day, and how long we had to do so. So we started looking at dates. (And I started squeeling. But I think by this point most of you know that goes without saying. So to save us all some time and me some writing, you can just rightly assume that if sparkle/the wedding/my marriage or some combination is mentioned, I am squeeling/giddy.)

Anyway, we start looking at dates/time frames, and what works best with dr soc's teaching schedule. (We're not really considering my schedule at the moment because eh, I don't have one) Turns out, one of the best weekends for us is late May, aka, Memorial Day weekend.

I've been on the nay side of holiday weddings before. In fact the reason I picked my last wedding date was specifically because it was not a holiday weekend. So me being ok with it and choosing it comes off as a wha? moment. I get that. But turns out, when you need to find a time frame you like/want and works for you, you say sure lets go for it.

And recently, I've been to a lot of holiday weddings, and I've had a blast. I haven't been any less happy for the couple, I haven't enjoyed myself any more or less due to it being a holiday, I didn't worry about the travel costs, and I've found that's it really not that big of deal to me anymore. I do still believe that a Friday night/Sunday wedding is still bull and an inconvenience though. The only exception to that is if the actual holiday itself, like New Years Eve, Valentines day, 4th of July, etc, is on those days or other weekdays. I would gladly go to a Tuesday night st patty's day wedding if that's what the couple wants. (And if I can make it too, but that's a different story).

So, while I do think birds are fowl creatures (hehehe, pun intended!) the crow I'm eating isn't that tough. I mean, I have an unofficial wedding date! Color me happy!

--blogger is publishing my blogs as one huge text block which I know is hard to read. I can't format at all for some reason. Anyone have any ideas how to fix this*?--
* I switched to the updated editor and I think that fixed it.  fingers crossed!

Birds are Gross

From when I was living at home, but I still find this relevant enough to post. scene:
Kitchen table with my mom, my coffee not having woken me up quite yet. There's this chirping/scratching noise coming form somewhere and it's irritating the bejezus out of me.
me: What is that scritchy noise?
mom: I think it's birds trying to nest in the kitchen vent.
me: Well, they should stop. It's driving the dog nuts. (and me too, but Bailey was whining at the noise and adding to it, thus making me even more irritable)
mom: They nest in the bathroom vent all the time. They picked through the opening.
me: Um, no. God, I hate birds. All of them, birds are just disgusting. ::pause:: Unless it's poultry. Those are ok.