Happy Hore-o-ween

I think the following disclaimer should be on all slutty (ie: woman's) costumes:
This is a "costume." Not a miracle worker.

Because really?

a sexy plumber. including crack.

or this:

a sexy remote control. Sigh.

Hey why are they all blond btw? Because brunettes don't get told enough they aren't enough fun or anything.

But this:

sexy sesame street. Gee, perv much?

crosses a line.
Sesame Street? Whore up your own wardrobe one night of the year fine, but keep iconic children's figures out of it.

So. Happy Halloween!

Shocking

Fall finally arrived! Which means one thing:

The season of every time I get in or out of my car a bolt of static electricity runs through my fingers and up my arm.

I mean, what gives? It doesn't mater if I touch the plastic or metal of the door, if I'm wearing cotton or wool, I'm with or without gloves, if it's raining, snowing or perfectly pleasant out side. I open the door and zap! That telltale crack sounds and I get shocked.

Does anyone else have this problem? No? Just me? Ok then.

Assvice

So my dog's behavior is all my fault. I get it, I f*cked up. Again. I have to train her so I don't continue to have the stench of failure all over me. So I turn to the interwebs. Which is full of assvice.
Like this:

1. You should first start by socializing them as a puppy. Considering she's 3, we missed that step. F*ck up number one. We were too busy trying to be responsible pet owners and not get everyone else's dogs deadly sick when she was a puppy to socialize her. Sorry.
2. Don't physically or verbally abuse. Fair enough, but what exactly do you do when they do something bad? Say no in a pleasant sing song voice to not hurt their feelings? No harmless swat on the nose to feel shame? You know, this hippy dippy feel good shit doesn't work on everyone. Sometimes old school is the way to go. (I am not advocating beating your dog. I am merely saying that a two finger bip on the nose was a good enough lesson for Bailey during potty training)
3. Don't use shake cans because that will trigger aggressive behavior. Yeah, except the shake can works. And the sweet sing song voice doesn't.
4. Have other people outside the family/people who live in the house help with the training. (When getting the dog to stop barking at strangers) Because my friends have time for my problems.
5. Use a firm, controlled voice. Fine, I can do that. However, my dad mumbles and enunciates worse than me, so guess who thinks she's the alpha?
6. Only give treats for good behavior. Yes, I know, that daily slice of cheese was a behavior I should have stopped immediately.
7. Muzzle them to stop biting. Well, that would be fine and dandy if my mother didn't feel embarrassed for Bailey and then stop the corrective behavior mid training.
8. Or use a shake can whenever they start biting. The same shake can I'm not supposed to use so I don't trigger aggressive behavior?
9. Work with a professional trainer. Sure, as soon as I have a free 5-10 weeks and can pay in hopes and crushed dreams, I'll get right on that.

You know what interwebs? FUCK. OFF. I'm going to trust my instincts and train my dog how I want to. Even though this is how she got so "bad" in the first place. Kiss my ass.
So. Anyone wonder why I'm so frustrated over my dog?

Tired

I am tired. Of so many things.

• I am tired of balancing 18 credit hours, a part time job, a long distance relationship, automatically going to worry about my dad, no one listening to me and a misbehaving dog.
• I am tired that as soon as I balance all of the above something shifts and I'm off balance again.
  
• I am tired of not acknowledging how stressed I am.
• I am tired of Bailey being ornery, being embarrassed over my dog's behavior and her lack of basic obedience.
• I am tired of hunting for time to train her and not finding it.
• I am tired of all the training "assvice" on the web that says my dog's behavior is all my fault. (read all about it in tomorrow's blog).
  
• I am tired of accepting my dog as is, but that other people do not, and the assvice from those people on how to take care/discipline her.
• I am tired of knowing no matter what training I implement won't ever be good enough.
• I am tired of the line in the sand dr soc and I have over her.
• I am tired of his dog being so much better than mine.
• I am tired of banging my head against a brick wall when trying to get my dad to have better health habits.
  
• I am tired of worrying about the best way to take care him and that I need to do so in the first place.
• I am tired of always f*cking multitasking, inevitably dropping something while doing so and the feeling of ineptness that accompanies that.
• I am tired of trying to be perfect for everyone else.
• I am tired of being in fear that I will fail again, and people telling me it will be ok when they have never been in my position before.
• I am tired of that even though I'm working my ass off and doing well in school I'm still not proud of myself.
• I am tired of walking a few miles to and from school even though I take the bus to campus.
• I am tired of my bus being more of an inconvenience than a benefit.
• I am tired of being a poor college student.
• I am tired of not having the time to regularly work out even if it is just to clear my head.
• I am tired of my jeans not fitting and not having the time or energy to fix that, or even the money to just get new ones.
• I am tired of back burner stuff becoming front burner stuff. Especially when the front burner stuff remains on the front burner on high.
• I am tired of having burners.
• I am tired of micro-managing my day into half hour increments.
• I am tired of constantly revamping those half hours into my schedule, and having to shuffle things around.
• I am tired of stressing when something goes wrong and not being able to competently deal with it like I have before.
• I am tired of not having time to see my friends.
• I am tired of not being able to see my boyfriend.
• I am tired of when I do get to do something fun , that I have to plan for it, and that I have to do so much work before hand that I can't enjoy myself fully.

I. Am. Tired.

Vroom Vroom!

So. I got a new car yesterday!

my new car! shiny! squee!

It's a 2005 Toyota Corolla, so it's used, and it's all mine mine mine!

We traded in my beige 98 Mazda protege, which we got for my sister and I in 2001. It was a good car, it was just old and on it's last legs/wheels. With me moving in a few months, we (me, dr soc, and my mom) were worried that it wouldn't get me to where I needed to be safely. And even if it did get me to Charlotte, when it broke there, we wouldn't know who could fix it.

So. New car for Sarah!

Just a quick far thee well to my protege (who's name was Davy btw). I was a smidgen sad when I handed my keys over to the dealer. But then I got the keys to my newer shinier model (much like a midlife crisis trophy wife trade), hoped in, opened the sunroof and drove away with my Corolla, happy as a clam.

Vroom Vroom!

Secrets Secrets Are No Fun

Unless you share with everyone. Which I call bullsh*t on that because having a secret is super duper fun in my opinion. Not that I can keep a secret anyway. Well, I may not tell you the exact information that I have, but I will let it be known that I know something and I won't tell you what that something is!

Well anyway, dr soc and I are both of the opinion that when the time comes for us to have children, we're not going to find out the baby's sex (not gender, because gender is a social concept and I don't really want to get into the semantics of why sex and gender are not the same. But they aren't and my sociologist future husband/baby daddy will agree with me on this). But it's because we both want that surprise and the "it's a ___!" moment for ourselves. And the only way to ensure we get that moment, is for us to not know. Which may annoy some people, but pfsh, it's ours and we'll do what we want.

My friends found out what they were having but managed to keep it surprise until their daughter was born. Which, props to them becasue I couldn't do that. (I think they are planning on doing that again too, so squee!) If I knew, I would undoubtedly slip at some point and refer to it as he/she. Then I would start telling everyone once I slipped.

I mentioned that dr soc and I are simpatico on this, which is just another reason how awesome we are together. At some point the do we find out or not came up in our conversations, and we discovered that we of the like mindset. Phew. But I mentioned my friends who were able to keep the secret, and then also said that would never work for me. He agreed:

"As much as your mouth moves there's no way that news would stay in there."
Snort. Oh, how he knows me so well!