Drip Drip Drip

Okay. So. There are about a billion  polarizing/repugnant/cruel/wrong/racist/sexist/misogynistic/terrifying/dehumanizing/just plain awful things that are a result of the 2016 election. Hopefully the November 2018 election gives this deluge of awfulness a chance to slow down and in 2020 we can turn off this damn hose and start the slow process of healing.

But I've got one more water metaphor for you. And it's that I think one of the most heartbreaking takeaways from the 2016 election is how my individual vote meant absolutely everything and absolutely nothing at the same time. Because my vote, along with everyone else's (who actually did vote that is) is one drop in the bucket. 

Think about it. One drop. Not enough to make a real difference in a bucket. But if you only have a set number of drops to be distributed across a few buckets, the drops are likely to unevenly balance, and one bucket becomes fuller and wins by default. 
Here is a visual example involving maths: 

There are 10 drops and 4 buckets with different colors and levels of viability. Say those drops are dispensed as so: 

                                    drip 
  drip                           drip

  drip                           drip        drip

  drip           drip          drip       drip

(viable) (not viable) (WTF) (not viable)

Red wins by default because as individual buckets, blue, green, and orange each have less than the red total. So by placing a drop/vote in a nonviable bucket thinking it wouldn't matter anyway and didn't count... it really didn't. And yet it really did.

If you voted I'm glad you did so. I really am. But I'm also really pissed at you if threw your vote into a nonviable bucket and screwed up the math. Because now we have about a billion polarizing/repugnant/cruel/wrong/racist/sexist/misogynistic/terrifying/dehumanizing/just plain awful things to deal with.

Thanks.

Cruelty

This asshole president is cruelty personified.
And the absolute HORRORS of this administration continue and are escalating.

The "executive order" to stop separating and irreversibly traumatizing families was a policy implemented by king cruelty himself. It just throws the newest traumatized families in jail together and ignores the atrocities already committed.

I cannot think about it without becoming angry. It's infuriating, horrifying and it breaks my heart over and over.  I won't argue with anyone who thinks the execution of the zero-tolerance policy was acceptable and/or the aforementioned executive order deserves a gold star for the crisis of it's own making. I can't make anyone care about another human being, and it's a waste of time and energy to try to do so.   

But I will say this to anyone who defends this current policy, from the bottom of my breaking heart: FUCK YOU.

The One

For the record: I do not believe in "the one." Neither does my husband. And as of today he has been my husband for 6 years, and we're still counting. But anyway, I still had a pretty good feeling about dr soc pretty early into our relationship. We just...worked.

But there are two distinct instances when I was pretty much: this is my husband.

The first one was when were texting a lot (and we still do - only now it's more "we're out of milk" and "has the toddler pooped yet?" and fewer flirty "forget your pants" but those still exist) and I realized he really didn't use text talk, one of my biggest pet peeves. (omg I h8 the u 4 u with the 🔥 of 1000 ☼s) My heart skipped a beat I thought: oooo I'm keeping him.

And the second is when he said he had absolutely no desire to go camping.
I was done. I knew: I'm going to marry him!

Happy Anniversary my dearest!

Mischief

Dr soc and I were driving and the 2 year old randomly yelled "mischief!" from the backseat. Clear as a bell like she knew what she was talking about. First: we were impressed at her vocabulary and started laughing. Then we paused and thought, umm, should we be concerned?

So I did what any parent in the age of social media does: posted it.
"She just randomly yelled "mischief!" Should I be concerned?'" 

It got the likes, 'reactions' and comments I figured it would, because it's random, funny and involves a n adorable toddler which is the content of liked, "reacted" and commented posts. But about half of the comments referenced Harry Potter.

Which I see the connection, with the "mischief managed" thing from the marauder's map debuted in the Prisoner of Azkaban. And I'm a book nerd and most people just assume a Harry Potter obsession is a requirement for working in the library.

But I'm not obsessed with Harry Potter. I own the books and I've seen the movies and I like them well enough. But that's it, I just like them. And if we're being honest I had to look up which book the marauders' map debuted in the first place. 

So sorry if I disappointed all you die hard Potter fans, but it wasn't a Potter reference. It was just my delightful toddler yelling an impressive word.

Salty

I've been craving salty things more this pregnancy which makes me think this baby is a boy. But we'll find out soon enough one way or the other.

Anyway here are some of the other things I'm salty about :

• my house not having air conditioning because it's builder grade and the builders were dipshits with shoddy workmanship and didn't give a damn about actual living conditions
• the darling furnace growing in me tossing around all it's bony parts and causing general uncomfortablness  
• my allergies acting up and not being able to take a damn bit of the good drugs
• my husband not having to get a TDap shot for either of my pregnancies. (I'm really salty about that one)
• the mommy wars
• seeing all the Woodford Reserve at the Derby and knowing I can't have any for a while
• having the pee all the time
• the patriarchy
• racism
• sexism
• being thirsty all the time and so totally bored with water
• the hypocrisy of the GOP
• people not using their turn signals
• internalized misogyny  
• autocorrect 
• autotune and theses not singing just stupidly talking which is not singing on popular radio
• people (gleefully - I might add) telling me I'm getting bigger
• anyone invading my personal bubble
• my body being up for public discussion
• toxic masculinity
• being hungry all the time and not wanting any of snacks I brought
• bending
• people assuming I'm an invalid and incapable of doing anything because I'm pregnant
• people not helping me even though I'm pregnant - I want to sit and don't make me run around 

Family Resemblance

I can usually see a family resemblance like everyone else when comparing people. Except in me. And my family to some extent. It's not like I don't see resemblance at all, but I just don't see the strong/twin/carbon copy/clone moniker people typically assign. I've never been able to see that really. People say my sister and I look alike, but I can almost always tell who's who even if it's just one of us in the picture.

me on the left, my sister on the right
see also: I am taller and older

My husband captioned this Mother's Day 2017 picture with "the resemblance is strong" 

me, my girl, my mom

Yeah, I see we look related. But the mom-clone thing is lost on me.          

And yesterday I posted a side-by-side Easter picture of my daughter and I at 2 years old: 

I wonder who had the better basket?
And isn't that orange kitchen great?

Everyone, and I mean everyone, made some sort of remark about that being the same kid. Even my mom (who at times is the most obtuse person out there) said we are spitting images of each other. And it's not that I don't see any resemblance at all. But I legit do not see twins. I see two extremely adorable but distinctly different little girls.    

Who knows if I'll ever be able to see it. I wonder if I'll see twins in my own kids. But it doesn't matter really, little lion is going to be a cutie just like little turkey. Twins or not.