Valentine's Day 2015 was brought to us by urgent care. The couch attacked a husband who shall remain nameless and said husband needed an X-ray.
Yup.
I was at work on my lunch break when dr soc (oops, just gave it away!) called me and said he though he had broken his toe on the couch. We got a new couch before Christmas so we're still getting used to the new layout. His littlest piggie was at a 90 degree angle from his foot and it was also swollen to about the size of his biggest piggie.
So we had a romantic valentines day at an urgent care, doing romantic things like taking sexy x-rays of his feet.
And then for the rest of the night we made toe puns. Like toe-pocalypse. Catas-toe-phe. It wasn't the Christmas season so we didn't have any miss-the-toe!
Thursday, March 5, 2015
Wednesday, February 11, 2015
Normal Thing to Do
Today I beat Mike home for work so I pulled the trash can around and got the mail, two things I normally don't do. Dr soc is pretty much always home before me and takes care of those things so I never really even think to even do them.
Anyway, when dr soc got home this afternoon he thanked me for pulling the trash around. I said "you're welcome," and since it was such a rare occurance I then happily said:
me: Oh! I got the mail too!
dr: soc: Wow! What did we get?
me: A pizza coupon and um...
dr soc: That's ok. Where is it?
me: It's... It's... uhhh.. This is why I don't get the mail.
Anyway, when dr soc got home this afternoon he thanked me for pulling the trash around. I said "you're welcome," and since it was such a rare occurance I then happily said:
me: Oh! I got the mail too!
dr: soc: Wow! What did we get?
me: A pizza coupon and um...
dr soc: That's ok. Where is it?
me: It's... It's... uhhh.. This is why I don't get the mail.
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
Deliver us
So after my sister got me into running, after watching a few of our races my mom got into it as well. And she's really annoying about it. Don't get me wrong, I am so glad she takes care of herself (because the longer she takes care of herself the less I'll have to take care of her) and as a sorta runner I get the rush and love for it. But she's still really really annoying in bragging about it and not realizing how much of a production running (race day and as regular exercise) really is.
By this point I've pretty much accepted it and I just let her go on and on, smile and nod at appropriate intervals and do what I can behind the scenes to make things go as smoothly as possible. But sometimes, I can find a way to quiet her down for a while.
In 2012 she and I both ran the Savannah half marathon and she wanted to dissect every. single. part. of the race with me. But every race, runner and experience is different and she just couldn't understand why I couldn't recall some thing or provide any insight to her experience. She was going on and on about the sights on the course so surely I must have seen them and experienced them the same way she did too.
mom: Oh that's that really pretty historical church! Do you remember that?
me: No not really.
mom: You must have! It was between miles 8 and 9 and there were all these pretty branches leading up to it. You must have seen it on your run.
me: I'm sure it was there, but I don't really remember seeing it mom.
mom: But it was there between...
me: Hey, mom, do you remember that one church that looked like a boarded up gas station around mile one? Real creepy looking and it's name was the deliverance church of something or other.
mom: Oh yeah! That was really creepy looking.
me: Yup. Well that's the church that I remember.
She was quiet for a little while after that.
By this point I've pretty much accepted it and I just let her go on and on, smile and nod at appropriate intervals and do what I can behind the scenes to make things go as smoothly as possible. But sometimes, I can find a way to quiet her down for a while.
In 2012 she and I both ran the Savannah half marathon and she wanted to dissect every. single. part. of the race with me. But every race, runner and experience is different and she just couldn't understand why I couldn't recall some thing or provide any insight to her experience. She was going on and on about the sights on the course so surely I must have seen them and experienced them the same way she did too.
mom: Oh that's that really pretty historical church! Do you remember that?
me: No not really.
mom: You must have! It was between miles 8 and 9 and there were all these pretty branches leading up to it. You must have seen it on your run.
me: I'm sure it was there, but I don't really remember seeing it mom.
mom: But it was there between...
me: Hey, mom, do you remember that one church that looked like a boarded up gas station around mile one? Real creepy looking and it's name was the deliverance church of something or other.
mom: Oh yeah! That was really creepy looking.
me: Yup. Well that's the church that I remember.
She was quiet for a little while after that.
Wednesday, January 21, 2015
Unicorns
Conversation on the State of the Union in a post twitter world:
dr funtimes: Are all female lawmakers required to notify us about what's come out of their uteri at the beginning of every speech? #JoniErnst
me: yes. Otherwise we won't know how much of a woman she is and what ratio we can not take her seriously.
dr funtimes: how many of the male rebuttals to the #SOTU started out with "I am a father?" 0? Exactly.
me: -20% seriousness -15% dedication to job 1 child -5% for each addition child +2% adversity for non-white race -5% relatablity
dr funtimes: isn't that a lot of maths for a girl?
me: well yeah. why do you think there's an algorithm in the first place? girl + math = magical creature
dr funtimes: Are all female lawmakers required to notify us about what's come out of their uteri at the beginning of every speech? #JoniErnst
me: yes. Otherwise we won't know how much of a woman she is and what ratio we can not take her seriously.
dr funtimes: how many of the male rebuttals to the #SOTU started out with "I am a father?" 0? Exactly.
me: -20% seriousness -15% dedication to job 1 child -5% for each addition child +2% adversity for non-white race -5% relatablity
dr funtimes: isn't that a lot of maths for a girl?
me: well yeah. why do you think there's an algorithm in the first place? girl + math = magical creature
Thursday, January 8, 2015
Make Believe
I grew up in Kentucky where we have all 4 seasons, spring, summer, fall, and winter (or: March Madness, basketball camp, big blue madness, and regular season). While I definitely prefer the summer and hotter temperatures to the winter and colder temperatures, it's not like I haven't dealt with the cold before.
Except.
Now I live in North Carolina, and my blood has thinned to accommodate my new habitat. So I like the blistering summers and mild winters. But now there's this thing called a cold front or whatever sweeping through, and actually winter here. I keep hearing of this thing called "wind chill" and these low ridiculous numbers that think they are temperatures! I mean really, 25 degrees? That is clearly a made up number!
Except.
Now I live in North Carolina, and my blood has thinned to accommodate my new habitat. So I like the blistering summers and mild winters. But now there's this thing called a cold front or whatever sweeping through, and actually winter here. I keep hearing of this thing called "wind chill" and these low ridiculous numbers that think they are temperatures! I mean really, 25 degrees? That is clearly a made up number!
Thursday, December 11, 2014
Weird
Today a patron walked into my work today and asked me if I worked there. When I asked how I could help them, they said they had 2 things. The first one was that they had found a (used) disposable razor on the curb outside and wanted to know where they could throw it away.
OK, a little weird. And eww. I offered the book I was holding as a sort of temporary table where they placed it. Why they didn't just leave it there on the curb I don't know, but fine, whatever.
The second thing was another thing they had found outside. In their had they had a blue napkin with a...wait for it...
A dead bird.
I was in great shape and it wasn't even cold yet (which they knew because they kept touching it), so they wondering if we had a children's program that would have any use for it.
My response: "For a dead bird? NO."
OMFG. NO.
That has to be the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me at work. When you work at the public library, some element of weirdness just comes with the job. But this... this...this was just weird. And I have seen some weird sh*t!
OK, a little weird. And eww. I offered the book I was holding as a sort of temporary table where they placed it. Why they didn't just leave it there on the curb I don't know, but fine, whatever.
The second thing was another thing they had found outside. In their had they had a blue napkin with a...wait for it...
A dead bird.
I was in great shape and it wasn't even cold yet (which they knew because they kept touching it), so they wondering if we had a children's program that would have any use for it.
My response: "For a dead bird? NO."
OMFG. NO.
That has to be the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me at work. When you work at the public library, some element of weirdness just comes with the job. But this... this...this was just weird. And I have seen some weird sh*t!
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