Unicorns

Conversation on the State of the Union in a post twitter world:
dr funtimes: Are all female lawmakers required to notify us about what's come out of their uteri at the beginning of every speech? #JoniErnst
me: yes. Otherwise we won't know how much of a woman she is and what ratio we can not take her seriously.
dr funtimes: how many of the male rebuttals to the #SOTU started out with "I am a father?" 0? Exactly.
me: -20% seriousness -15% dedication to job 1 child -5% for each addition child +2% adversity for non-white race -5% relatablity
dr funtimes: isn't that a lot of maths for a girl?
me: well yeah. why do you think there's an algorithm in the first place? girl + math = magical creature

Make Believe

I grew up in Kentucky where we have all 4 seasons, spring, summer, fall, and winter (or: March Madness, basketball camp, big blue madness, and regular season). While I definitely prefer the summer and hotter temperatures to the winter and colder temperatures, it's not like I haven't dealt with the cold before.

Except.

Now I live in North Carolina, and my blood has thinned to accommodate my new habitat. So I like the blistering summers and mild winters. But now there's this thing called a cold front or whatever sweeping through, and actually winter here. I keep hearing of this thing called "wind chill" and these low ridiculous numbers that think they are temperatures! I mean really, 25 degrees? That is clearly a made up number!  

Weird

Today a patron walked into my work today and asked me if I worked there. When I asked how I could help them, they said they had 2 things. The first one was that they had found a (used) disposable razor on the curb outside and wanted to know where they could throw it away.

OK, a little weird. And eww. I offered the book I was holding as a sort of temporary table where they placed it. Why they didn't just leave it there on the curb I don't know, but fine, whatever.
The second thing was another thing they had found outside. In their had they had a blue napkin with a...wait for it...

A dead bird.  

I was in great shape and it wasn't even cold yet (which they knew because they kept touching it), so they wondering if we had a children's program that would have any use for it.

My response: "For a dead bird? NO."
OMFG. NO. 

That has to be the weirdest thing that has ever happened to me at work. When you work at the public library, some element of weirdness just comes with the job. But this... this...this was just weird. And I have seen some weird sh*t!  

Roof Types

So. My poor husband husband has shingles. Not the things you use on the roof variety. Nope. The health kind that can give you chicken pox variety.
He doesn't hurt which is really lucky. Shingles attaches/runs along a nerve which is why it's so painful in the first place. We also caught it pretty quick and the antibiotics the dr gave him are already working. He doesn't have to be quarantined from me since I've had chicken pox, and it's also safe for him to be around our families this holiday.
I'm sure he's enjoying me telling his health status to the internets, but I just feel so bad for him, even though he's not in pain. I'm probably just going to spoil him for a while, at least until it clears up. I don't think he'll hind that though.    

Mystery Date

With all the Buzz Is Back excitement in Charlotte, one of the fun things offered was a Hugo bobble head to every ticket holder. And since I love stuff, I suggested we go to that game since I had the night off. The hornets didn't win, it was a lot of sloppy play (at least that's what dr soc and my neighbor said, hell if I know what sloppy play actually looks like), but it was still a lot of fun. 

Well anyway, we got to the game well before tip-off for the bobble head so we had a decent amount of time to look at the court and how the arena was laid out for basketball. It made dr soc think of another time at the arena.

dr soc: Wasn't this how it was set up for when we saw the Trans-Siberian Orchestra?

me: Um, I don't really know, since I've never seen them.

dr soc: Wait, what? Didn't we come here for that?

me: Nope. We were here for Circ Du Soleil, but I've never seen the Trans-Siberian Orchestra. 

dr soc: ~starts blushing~ Oh. Um...I..yeah.

me: ~lovingly patting his shoulder~ Must be thinking of some other date dear.

dr soc: oh...

me: ~cackling~ Bet you enjoyed that date more than the awkward tent you're in now!    

Eat Me

So, something I legit need for my kitchen:
"DO NOT EAT" labels/signs.
Otherwise, my husband's hunger overtakes him and main/key ingredients fall victim to his voracious snacking.

No, seriously. Twice this week dinner plans were thwarted/nearly thwarted due to dr soc's snacking. I've been trying to get in the habit of menu planning, so I write down the 6 days of dinner ideas and shop accordingly. I like to try new recipes but usually only try one a week because I'm not insane.

Anyway, Monday was going to be chili pie. Chili, noodles, cornbread topping, bake. All things I had in the house. But when dr soc got home from his office hours he ate the leftover chili from Sunday's lunch for a snack. All of it. So no chili pie until I make another vat of chili. No biggie really, but it was fun to tease him.
And then tonight I asked if he could start prepping dinner since it was taking me such a long time to get home. I told him the cookbook to find the recipe and by the time I got home he had most of the marinade made. However, he told me when I got home that we almost didn't have enough cashews because he had once again snacked on a key ingredient when he got home from work!

I pretty much brayed like a jackass. But it's also a good thing I got home when I did because I got there before he added the garlic. Yeah, turns out dr soc didn't exactly know what a clove of garlic was. So even if we hadn't had enough cashews, the 4 heads of garlic would have certainly covered that void!