Disclaimer: this is not a confession or about any of my previous relationships
I've always considered cheating (in a relationship) something you can't tell the other person. But that could mean a variance of things. While I wouldn't do anything physical with another person while I'm sleeping with someone else in the first place, I also wouldn't tell my significant other that I outright flirted with someone either (even if it was to get better service). I wouldn't tell my partner either, but is the latter cheating?
In my mind it was harmless to begin with, so no. But I still wouldn't share. I've kissed other guys who were not my boyfriend at the time. And if you go strictly by my definition, then yes I have cheated on boyfriends (ok, so maybe a little confessional and totally about my previous relationships. My bad). That's as far as my torrid history goes. I can soften it by claiming it was before boyfriend and I were using the bf/gf titles, but really, that's splitting hairs. I was in someone's bed so I've made myself exclusive by then.
Obviously these are not shining moments in my life. And I would think twice about it if I'm put in the position again. As far as I know, I've never been cheated on. Well, at least no one has stepped out on me when were officially bf/gf. There probably have been some hook-ups pre"official" decree of exclusivity or break ups. You know, the same bull poop I tried to pull 2 seconds ago, when details were fuzzy. But if I have been cheated on, I don't want to know.
I told one boyfriend that if something ever happened, (for example, someone has too much to drink and boundaries were crossed. I'm no fool, these things happen), and as long as he felt extremely guilty about it, (and he should) and knew it would never ever ever happen again (as it shouldn't), then I didn't want to know. Because it would destroy my trust in him and it might be too hard to get back. But his guilt would be punishment enough.
However, if it happened again, I would kill him. But hey, the first one was free.
1 comment:
hmm, you are much more lax than I am. I would have no mercy for someone if they cheated on me (even by those fuzzy definitions)
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