Paper

I? Am seriously going nuts waiting to hear about my admission status from grad school. My nerves are litteraly shot to hell just waiting.
Yeah I knew I would have to wait and I have to be patient.  And school starts in just over a month.  But what really sent me over the edge into crazy-wait was when I received an email from financial aid saying I needed to update something.  I had sent in my fafsa the day before in a move to be prudent (though I really didn't want to because I'm terrified I jinxed something by doing so).  I can check my financial status by using my university id which they gave me in the email, and then find out my pin once I logged in with my university id. 

An university id! You shouldn't get one of those if you're not a student, right?  RIGHT???  I log on, get my pin, and then proceed to clink link after link to become even more confused and a babbling mess about my status.  Because while I can be found in the university directory, when I tried to see what classes were available to me, I was told in bold print I am not listed as a student for any terms. Wha? On top of that, a few days before the financial aid email, I received the graduate school newsletter in the mail.  who do they send that to?  The graduate students? Anyone who applied?  Way to tease.  

And as crazy as I'm going, (just ask mike, I'm a bundle of anxiety) I'm too terrified to call the admissions office to find out my status.  I can't handle them telling me no.  I can't handle hearing you aren't good enough. Because I have heard it before, and it traumatized me. I got stuck spinning my wheels for 3 years because I didn't get a piece of paper.  And now another piece of paper seems to be the key in deciding my fate.

I really hope that I'm completely over reacting and that it's my impatience getting the best of me.   That really is the best case senario that I'm working myself into a tizzy for nothing. I'll apply again if I have to, and I'm poking around of another (accredited) program North Carolina.  All I need is that piece of paper.  But I'm still anxious as hell all the same.