Zeus

When I posted about religion a while back, I didn't mention ancient Greek and Roman mythology. Mainly because those beliefs have fallen to the wayside as a religion. But I've always liked mythology and that there were different gods and goddess who controlled things. And that they could seriously f*ck with people who pissed them off. And dudes, they had a party god (Bacchus (Roman)/Dionysus (Greek), god of the vine), and that's pretty cool. (unless you are a maenad (true blood ref), and the worship of dionysus is delusional)

My false sense of superiority on mythology comes from what I can recall of my 6th grade Latin class and a book on Mythology I read for AP English in high school (ten years ago. Shut up). And what I've forgotten, Wikipedia can fill in the blanks (btw, everything on wiki is click-able in 6 steps or less). But I think it's common knowledge that Zeus, was a man (god?) whore. Dude, got around. And he had throngs of children so that just proves he was potent too. He was a smooth talker and so divine that women, mortal and ethereal, fell at his feet. But Zeus also loved a good intrigue, and I guess having women throwing themselves at you get's boring after a while. So he preferred to get his conquest through trickery (sort of like roofies only not in that immoral evil and illegal way (oh yeah, I went there)).

Don't forget there's all sorts of incest, immaculate conceptions and betrayals going on in the god world. Hera, Zeus' wife, was notoriously jealous and vengeful. But I would be too if my husband kept stepping out on me I had powers (I'm still working one smite). Hell, you're the goddess of marriage and your husband is the definition of philanderer, I'd be livid. Not to mention the unfairness of Hera's only immaculate conception (and non-Zeus child) was deformed and tossed into a volcano (Vulcan), while Zeus' (sorta) immaculate conception (Athena) and other other infidelities (Apollo, Artemis, Aphrodite...) all got to be divinities, rise among the ranks and sit at the big god's table. So Hera cursed a lot of his play things (Feminism, the early years. Can't divorce your adulterous spouse, at least make his conquest lives miserable).

Well anyway, Zeus pops down to earth, changes form, impregnates, he's good. But he probably would have a little more difficult time with this MO today. Times have changed. Humans are not as gullible as they once were (oh wait, yes they are, we just have google (and wiki) now). Gone are the days of a beautiful swan entrancing a young lady (Leda and the Swan). An ethereal animal can't just approach a human with out raising someone's eyebrows. And even if he got through that red tape, bestiality, not so much.

So since the animal plot is out, he needs a different trick. And you know Hera's just loving that hubby dearest has got to work a little harder now. But hey it's Zeus, he can toss lighting bolts to get someone out of his way. Not like that's inconspicuous or anything. So he comes to earth as a really good looking man. But drat again! Target conquest whips out her iPhone and google searches the name he gives her. It doesn't take long (I made him go after the tech savvy women just because it makes me feel better than if he went for the bimbo) for her to figure out it's Zeus in human form and really well worn 3 piece suit.

Zeus, king of gods, foiled by the iPhone.